15. Azalea
15
Azalea
I got the call before I even sat down to power up my computer.
Josh Hinton had been arrested for setting another fire.
The man went to his ex-girlfriend’s house, doused her detached garage with gasoline, and lit a match. The whole thing went up in flames.
I wasn’t even aware they had broken up. Had I known, I could have prepared some talking points and mitigation strategies. See, this was why I stayed in my clients’ business. It all tied together.
With my head in my hands, I reviewed the charges. Nobody was hurt, thank goodness, so we only had to deal with the single arson charge. Silver linings.
I was researching pyromania in the hopes of possibly getting Mr. Hinton a diagnosis when Henry knocked on my open door.
“Hey, Davis. You have a client here to see you.”
I frowned as I stared at my desk calendar. “I don’t have any appointments today.”
Henry didn’t even attempt to hide his impatience. “Yeah, I don’t know. Are you unavailable?”
“It’s fine. Send them back,” I said.
My mouth dropped open when Mr. Jackson swaggered through my door a few moments later looking none the worse for wear. In fact, he looked downright…delectable, clad in a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans.
“Isaac! I mean, Mr. Jackson. What are you…did you escape?”
Anger schooled his features into a scowl. “You really believe that?”
“You’re only three days into your sentence, so what am I supposed to think?”
“I guess the papers didn’t come across your desk yet.”
“What papers? Actually, we do everything electronically now, so I would…” I trailed off as he reached behind him to close the door.
I was on high alert, my heart rate increasing, my skin prickling, my muscles tight. He stared at me, but he didn’t look angry. More like…curious.
“I got out because of overcrowding,” he explained. “You put me in, they took me out.”
“I was just doing my job. You didn’t really leave me a choice.”
An eyebrow raised slowly. “Is that right?”
“Yes. I warned you.”
“Do you hear me complaining?”
The room felt warmer for some reason. “Then…why did you come here?”
“They told me to see you as soon as possible, so…here I am. Seeing you.”
“So, you’re not mad?”
“Should I be?”
“Never mind.” I cleared my throat. “Let me look up your case. You can have a seat.”
“I’m good right here.”
“Please sit down. You’re making me nervous.”
“Why would you be nervous, Officer?”
“I don’t know.”
His eyes never left my face. Even as I stared at my computer screen, I felt them on me, heating me from my head to my toes.
Once I verified what he’d told me, I mustered up the courage to meet his gaze.
“It’s very likely that your probation will be extended after this.”
“Yeah, I figured. I guess that means more time with you.”
“I guess so.”
His eyes narrowed. “How did you know it had been three days?”
“What do you mean?”
“When I first came in, you said I’m out three days into my sentence. That shit came right off the dome.”
“I remembered, that’s all.”
“That’s all?”
“Yes. Why are you asking me that?”
A rare smile appeared on his face. “You thought about me.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I ain’t asking you shit. There’s only two reasons you would have been thinking about me like that. Either you felt bad, or you wanted me on your mind.”
I swallowed hard and ignored that last part, hard as it was.
“I did think about you, but only because you’re my client and I was concerned.” I paused to take a breath when he finally moved forward and sat across from me. “Was it…um…did you do okay in there?”
“I thought about you,” he said. “You wanna know why?”
“Can you answer my question, first?”
“No.”
“Mr. Jack—“
“You already called me Isaac before. Let’s stick with that.”
“I’d prefer to maintain our professional distance.”
“I thought about you for a few reasons,” he said, ignoring everything I’d just said. “One, because it ain’t shit else to do in that cage.”
I nodded at that. I knew exactly what he meant.
“Two, because I was pissed off at first. I was. But I had to turn that anger toward myself. Because I was the one who decided to smoke and fail that test.”
“Wow. That’s very self-aware. I’m proud of you.”
“And three, because I realized something.”
“What?”
“You didn’t have to violate me. You only did that to make it clear that you don’t have feelings for me.”
“That makes…no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“I think you’re projecting again.”
“And I think you’re lying to yourself.”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
“Admit it.”
“There’s nothing to admit.”
“If you say so.” He looked around my office before bringing his attention back to me. “I couldn’t sleep last night. As much as I tried to fight it, every time I closed my eyes, I saw your face.”
“That’s—“
“I like your face.”
“Thank you, but that’s not appropriate. And I actually shouldn’t have let you close the door. Can you open it?”
“I had a moment where I was feeling real down, but seeing your face in my mind made me feel something else.”
“Mr. Jackson, I don’t think—“
“It’s like…I see hope. You’re a hopeful ass person. That’s not something I’ve ever been.”
“Yes, I’m very hopeful. But I really need you to not…project things onto me. That can be dangerous.”
“Projection, huh? I don’t know about all that. Would projection make my dick hard?”
“Excuse me?”
“WOULD PROJECTION MAKE MY DICK HARD?”
“Shhhh!”
“Don’t make me repeat myself, and you won’t have these problems.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Mr. Jackson. You’re crossing a line here. I could write you up for this. Hopefully now you understand how serious I am.”
“So, like I said, you were trying to prove a point.”
A staring match ensued. I wanted to tell him how wrong he was. That his accusation was ridiculous. But I couldn’t. I was actually lowkey impressed by how perceptive he was.
“I’m glad my hopefulness could be some help for you in there,” is what I went with instead.
“Are you?”
“Of course.”
“And just to be clear, all your help and concern for me is about your job?”
“What else would it be?” I demanded.
“You tell me.”
I cleared my throat, which suddenly felt thick and coated. “All I wanna do is help you.”
“You sure?”
“Yes! What is this? Why are you questioning me like this?”
He took off his glasses and set them on my desk.
“For the same reason you’re entertaining me.” His smirk was infuriating. “There are vibes. I know you feel it. And the fact that you sent me to jail so you didn’t have to deal with that shit lets me know how strongly you feel it.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m actually offended that you would even suggest something like that when all I’ve ever tried to do is keep you out.”
He jumped to his feet. Instinctively, I stood, too, my hand immediately going to the gun at my hip.
“You ain’t gotta do all that,” he said. “I would never hurt you.”
“Then what are you doing?” I asked, frozen in place as he moved around my desk. “Please stay on that side of the desk.”
He stalked toward me, backing me up until I was flat against the wall. I stared up at him, on high alert, but not scared of him. I was scared of me . My thoughts. My feelings. My body’s response to him.
He looked down at me, searching my eyes. “What’s going on in there, Officer? Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
“I’m thinking…this is inappropriate, and I have a panic button under my desk.”
“So press it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
I swallowed hard. “You’re in my way.”
He stepped closer. “So move me.”
He was overwhelming all of my senses. His tall, muscular body pinned me in, making me feel small and cornered, like a trapped animal. The smell of soap emanated from his skin. The pleasant smell of mint lingered on his breath. His breathing sped up. He wasn’t quite panting, but he was close. And so was I.
“Isaac…”
“Press that button and send me back to jail right now. I won’t resist. Do it.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I…I don’t want you to go back to jail.”
“Why?”
“Because my job is—“
“Fuck your job, Azalea. Tell me why.”
“It’s Officer Davis.”
“Fucking tell me why, Azalea.”
I cowered under his stare. “Why are you doing this?”
“Why haven’t you pressed that button? Better yet, why don’t you take your gun out and shoot me? I’m a threat, right?”
“Isaac…stop.”
Another step closer. Our bodies were almost touching.
“I bet you felt so powerful when you did that shit. With one stroke of your pen, you took away my freedom. All to keep from admitting the truth. That’s deep.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” He dipped his head, lightly brushing his nose against my neck. “I almost spent a month behind bars so you could hide from the fact that you wanna fuck me.”
My eyes rolled back, but I managed to murmur, “You’re out of line,” just before his lips grazed the shell of my ear.
“Admit it,” he demanded. “I bet your pussy is dripping wet right now.”
“You’re disgusting,” I moaned.
“Yeah. I am. And you still didn’t press that button.”
He pulled back, bringing his finger to my cheek and turning my head, forcing me to look at him again.
“You wanna see some projection, Officer?”
My eyes immediately dropped to his erection, which was fighting to break free from his jeans. My fight was keeping my hands at my sides when all I wanted in the entire world was to grab it and jack him off.
Instead, I said, “We can’t.”
He nodded. “I know why you’re fighting it. Just do one thing for me. Tell me the truth.”
I gave up, but the words eluded me. I simply nodded.
His eyes dropped to my lips. The movement made me more nervous. A thousand thoughts swirled through my mind, namely, is he gonna kiss me? Will I get in trouble? Will this ruin our professional relationship? Am I really gonna cross that line? Are his lips soft? They look soft. So soft. I have to stop this right now.
“Isaac—“
Whatever was coming next got swallowed up in our kiss, and I say our because as soon as his lips brushed mine, I eagerly leaned in and pressed my lips and the rest of my body into him.
A low hum rumbled in his throat at the same time his hand came to rest at the top of my ass. It was a soft touch, but I could practically feel the itch in his fingers to grip and squeeze me.
I moaned softly when his tongue crossed the barrier of my lips and caressed mine. It felt like Josh Hinton left that burning garage, drove over here, and set my pussy on fire. I was on dangerous ground here, and I needed to douse cold water on the blaze before it consumed both of us.
I lifted my hands and did the thing I should have done the first time he told me to—I moved him. Hard pecs flexed under my fingertips as I pushed against him, but I was only partially successful. His body moved, but his tongue stayed inside my mouth. We kept kissing, even as I forced distance between us, our tongues reluctant to end the slow dance.
God, the kiss felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been kissed like this. I was legit ready to invite him inside me right here in this office.
I kept pushing him and kissing him until finally, when I couldn’t take it any longer, I grabbed his face and pushed it away.
His chest heaved as he stared at me and licked his lips. What I thought would put an end to this had only done the opposite; the flames licked up the sides of my body and settled inside my head, making it spin. I felt like I was high.
I moved my hands behind me and clasped them together so he wouldn’t see me trembling.
“We can’t do this again,” I finally said.
He walked back around the side of my desk and picked up his glasses, sliding them onto his face with ease.
“Why not?”
“I’m your probation officer. It’s not ethical. It’s a violation of my responsibility to you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
“Isaac…”
“I’m a grown ass man, Azalea. I know what I want. And so do you.”
“What I’m saying is that our feelings and…and desires don’t matter. I can’t, like I literally can’t do this with you.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
“Good.”
“I didn’t say I agree. I said I understand. Your job is important to you.”
“So is your progress. This is about what’s best for me and you.”
“Whatever. I get it. We won’t do this here at your office.”
“No, it’s not about where , it’s…” I trailed off, shaking my head. “Moving forward, there will be no more physical contact. Can we agree on that?”
“Fuck no.”
“Isaac!”
“Zay?”
I stopped short, my brain translating the implications of him bestowing a nickname on me. My body tingled all over.
He moved toward the door, then stopped, lingering there with his hand on the knob.
“You know what azaleas symbolize?”
“Of course I do. Taking care of people.”
“And?”
“And, what?”
“I looked it up. It’s taking care of people and taking care of yourself.”
“Okay, how is that relevant?”
“Don’t let your love for your job keep you from getting what you want.”
“Being great at my job is what I want.”
“Nah, you want this dick.” He crossed his arms in front of him. “All that sunshine and rainbows is cope, Zay. You can’t run from reality. It always catches you.”
“Mr. Jackson. I’m glad you’re out. I think you should go home and get some rest, and we’ll speak again soon regarding your progress. Okay?” I tilted my head, pleading with my eyes. “Please say okay.”
He put two fingers to his forehead in a lazy salute. “Whatever you say, Officer.”
I nodded. “Good night.”
“It is now.”
Still trembling, I watched him leave before collapsing in my chair. I wondered if I’d dreamed that whole encounter. If maybe Isaac Lamar Jackson was still behind bars, and I’d been in here talking to myself. When I was a girl, before I had my first kiss, I used to practice on my arm. Maybe I’d done it again just now.
The only thing I knew for sure was that no matter which plane I was in, getting physical with my client was a complete and total mistake.