23. Isaac
23
Isaac
When Zay walked out empty-handed, I jumped to my feet, thinking the worst.
“What happened?”
“She has a high fever, so they’re keeping her overnight to run tests. They put her on an IV.”
“That’s wild. I didn’t know they did that shit.”
“They do.”
“So, you staying here?”
“They don’t allow that. But I would.”
Deep down, I was glad that was the rule. I would have stayed with her, but I would have been irritated about it. This way, I could take her home and take care of her. She needed the rest.
“I’ma follow you home and make sure you get in okay.”
“You don’t—“
“I know I don’t have to. Listen, I don’t need you telling me that all the time, okay? If I offer to do something, it’s because I wanna do it for you.”
Her shoulders dropped, like she was giving up the fight. “Fine. You can follow me.”
“Zay. Sweetheart. I wasn’t asking.”
Kelly, the receptionist, rolled her eyes when we passed. She wasn’t my biggest fan at this point, but it was all good, because I didn’t need her to like me. I just needed her to tell that vet that there wasn’t a single fucking car in the fucking parking lot besides mine and Zay’s, so I knew he was back there not doing shit, and that if he didn’t call Pinky Davis back to the examination room immediately, everybody in this bitch was gonna have a bad fucking night.
Back at her place, Zay walked up to my window before I even had a chance to get out of the car.
“Are you coming in?”
“If you want me to.”
“I want you to.”
Once we got inside, and she put her stuff on the table, I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. When I wrapped my arms around her, she relaxed against me, offering me the weight of her day, which I gladly accepted.
“Talk to me, Zay. You okay?”
“I’m trying to be. I’m worried about her.” She took a deep breath that came out shaky. “But she’ll be okay. I know she will.”
“You know what?” I kissed the top of her head. “I believe that, too.”
She lifted her head to look at me. “Is that hope I hear?”
“It is. I got a little bit for you.”
“Just me?”
“One step at a time, Zay.”
“I’ll take it.” She smiled weakly. “Thank you for being here with me.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
She rested her head against my chest again. “What would you normally be doing tonight if you weren’t here with me?”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“Smoking weed?”
I chuckled. “No comment.”
“Why do you like it so much?”
“You’ve never tried it?”
“In undergrad. That was…fifteen years ago.”
“Just once?”
“I didn’t like it.”
“That don’t seem possible.”
“Maybe I did it wrong.”
I laughed at that. “You’re missing out.”
“On what? Red eyes and coughing?”
I pulled back to look down at her. “Yeah, you smoked some trash. Poor baby.”
“Seriously. Explain it to me.”
With an irritated groan, I took a few steps back and leaned against the wall.
“It just…mellows you out,” I explained. “Pain, anxiety, tension…basically anything you can feel? Weed treats it.”
“You smoke so you don’t have to feel?”
“That’s not what I—“
“You said you self-medicate with it. What are you trying not to feel, Isaac?”
She was trying to get inside my head again. Analyzing me.
I didn’t care for that.
“The point I was making is that it relaxes you. It mellows out the things you don’t wanna feel. It heightens the things that feel good.”
“Like?”
“Sex, primarily.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. That’s why I said you’re missing out.”
Her eyes went wide. “What’s it like?”
“It’s amazing. Intense. Like, imagine the other day, right? But imagine if you were high, and your whole body was completely relaxed, but everything I did, you felt it five times stronger. And then you cum, but harder and longer.”
“That does sound amazing.” She inched closer and snuggled back into my chest. “I would like to try that.”
“Whoa. Hold up. You’re the law, Zay.”
“So?”
“You can’t.”
“Then why were you selling it so hard?”
“You asked me to explain it.”
“Which you did, and it was very effective.”
“Nah.”
“Isaac—“
“See, nah. This makes me feel like I’m a bad influence on you.”
Her laugh just frustrated me more. I nudged her—gently—until she stepped backwards, then I moved around her and settled onto the couch.
“What’s the problem?” she said, taking a seat next to me. “I’m not your PO anymore. And I never said I wanted you to do it. I can’t in good conscience encourage that. I’m talking about me.”
“I know what you’re talking about.” I shook my head. “I don’t know, Zay. I really don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
“I don’t know if I’m…if I’m what you need.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one deciding that?”
“Theoretically, but I don’t know if I trust your judgment.”
“Wow. You just insulted me and you with that one.”
“I’m sorry, but…facts are facts. I ain’t shit. It’s the truth.”
“I don’t believe that. At all.”
“And now we’re back to your questionable judgment again.”
She crossed her arms. “So, you push me away, and then what?”
“And then you find somebody that’s more on your level.”
“What’s my level?”
“Shit. I don’t know. College. Nice corporate job. A nigga that can vote. The basics. The bare minimum. Which I couldn’t manage to do.”
I held her gaze, and it felt like I could see her change her mind about me. Just that quick. But maybe she was right to.
What could I really offer her? She was law and order. I was chaos. And, I don’t know why, but something about her wanting to smoke with me made me uncomfortable. Like I was corrupting her.
She deserved better.
“I had all that,” she said quietly.
I brought my eyes to hers.
“He had everything on that list. And money. A nice house. A fancy car. And he also had issues. Serious issues. Issues that I couldn’t live with. And now that all that stuff is gone, I’m so much happier.”
“Issues like what? He cheated?”
“Probably, but no. He had…he had a temper. And control issues. And no empathy. At all.”
“Back up to that first one.” My eyes narrowed as I studied her face. “He put his hands on you?”
She sighed. “Why would you jump right to that?”
“Because every nigga I jailed with who had a temper had put his hands on somebody before.”
“Just once.”
“Just? Why are you minimizing that? Once is one time too many.”
“I agree. Which is why I left.” She shrugged. “I forgave him. I don’t have hard feelings or anything.”
“You should.”
“For what? It won’t make my life any better.”
I tried not to look to pissed off when I said, “Because he’s a fucking piece of shit.”
“Be that as it may—“
“You still talk to him?”
“Only when I have to.”
I chuckled at that. “Zay, Zay, Zay.”
“What?”
So much I wanted to say.
But she wouldn’t get it.
She wouldn’t understand how I could feel so protective over her after only knowing her for a few weeks. Or the rage I felt at the thought of some nigga putting his hands on her. Or the resolve I felt to beat his ass if I ever came face-to-face with him.
So all I said was, “It’s getting late.”
She glanced at the clock. “Dang, it is. What time do you have to be at work?”
I hesitated before I lied to her. “Eight.”
“Same. But I don’t want you to go.”
“What time is the vet supposed to call you?”
“He said nine.”
“Then I’ll call you at nine o’five.”
She smiled. “See? Empathy.”
“I don’t know about all that. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“Another check in your column. Keep going.”
I stood to my feet. “Bye, Zay.”
She laughed as she reached out and grabbed my shirt. “Wait a second. You’re just gonna leave without kissing me goodbye?”
My eyes dropped to her lips, which had formed into a juicy little pout. “I just got done telling you I’m conflicted. Quit muddying the waters.”
“I’m not.” She stood and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I just really wanna kiss you.”
“Do what you gotta do, sexy. You know what you want. Come get it.”
Baby girl turned me around, pushed me onto the couch, and damn near dove on me. With her lips firmly planted against mine, she maneuvered us into a semi-reclined position on the couch. Since I was still in my feelings, I was content with keeping my hands at my sides, but when she slipped her tongue in my mouth, all bets were off. I got activated, and so did my dick.
I knew this would happen. It wasn’t in my plan, but fuck it. We were here now, and it felt good, so I let it play out. I even participated.
What I enjoyed most was her aggression. I’m not one of those men who needs to seduce a woman into giving me what I want. I like it when a woman is eager for me. Freely sexual. No inhibitions.
I just didn’t think Zay had that in her.
Her whole aura read as innocent to me, but that was incorrect.
I was glad about that.
Even as I was kissing her back, I was wrestling with myself. Take it slow. Dive in. Wreck her shit. Be respectful.
Decisions, decisions.
Fuck. She grabbed my dick.
“What are you doing?”
She opened her eyes and smiled sweetly. “What do you mean?”
“Your hand is on my dick.”
“Yes…and?”
“You’re asking for trouble, Zay.”
“Begging for it, actually.”
Alright, then.
Fully bricked up now, I made one last attempt to slow things down, grabbing her hand and moving it off me. “Not tonight, Zay.”
For the first time since I’d known her, she looked pissed off. “So let me guess…you don’t trust my judgment, even when I say I wanna fuck you?”
“Nah, I believe you wanna fuck me.”
“So what’s the problem? I feel like you’re treating me like a little girl right now, but trust me when I tell you I’m the furthest thing from it.”
“I told you a minute ago that—“
“I remember, and it was bullshit. Look, I haven’t had sex since I left my ex. I’m ready.”
“So, you got an aggressive side, huh? I like that.”
“Do you like it enough to give me what I want?”
Well, when she put it that way…
“Okay, but listen, Zay. And I’m not even playing when I say this. My dick is big, and I fuck like I just got out of jail.”
She blinked slowly. “Is that supposed to discourage me?”
I burst out laughing. “It’s like that? Alright. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Five minutes later, she lay on her back on her bed wearing nothing but a sheet over her body and fear on her face.
“I thought you were kidding.” She stared at my dick and swallowed hard. “It didn’t feel that big when I had my hand on it.”
“I told you.”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Nah, where’s your hope at, Sunshine? I’ma need you to be optimistic. I need you to believe you can take all this.”
“I wanna believe it.”
“You were talkin’ big shit in the living room.”
“That was before…I saw…that.”
I chuckled at her wide eyes and scary demeanor as I tossed a couple of condoms onto the bed. “I’ll go as slow as I can.”
I climbed onto her bed and settled beside her, pulling her into me for a kiss. I usually went right for it, but I wanted to savor the moment with her.
I touched her everywhere I could reach, teasing her nipples until they were hard, enjoying the way she leaned into my touch and pressed herself closer to give me more of her.
I knew I’d have to get her ready for me, so I broke the kiss to pull the sheet back, letting my eyes roam her body as I moved down to get into position.
Her skin was so soft and pretty. Rich and brown with the cutest little moles dotting it here and there. Pale stretch marks on her hips and thighs. Soft curves. The faint, sweet smell of perfume.
Nobody’s perfect, but Zay was as close as I’d ever seen.
I kissed my way down her stomach, turning her soft moans loud when I tongue kissed her clit. She was so wet, I couldn’t slurp it up fast enough, not that I needed to. That wetness would serve us well in a minute.
Two fingers in, then a third. I did my best to stretch her out while I sucked on her clit. That was all I was trying to do, really, but then her back arched and she yelled out, spasming all over my fingers and wetting up my face. I didn’t mind, though. Not at all. There would be more of those, but only if I prepared her well enough.
“Alright, Sunshine.” I rolled a condom on. “We thinking positive yet?”
“Thinking? What’s that?”
I laughed. “Felt good, huh?”
“Yes.” Her eyes went to my dick again. “See, if I was high right now—“
“You better not finish that.”
I settled between her legs and pecked her lips.
“Mmmmm,” she moaned against my lips. “I taste good.”
“Yeah. Come get some more.”
She pulled me to her and slid her tongue deep into my mouth. While she sucked on it, I guided myself to her opening and pushed the head in slowly. She tensed immediately.
“Relax, baby.”
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into another kiss. I eased myself in further, lowkey delirious behind the snug fit.
When I finally seated myself fully inside her, we both sighed and relaxed our bodies.
“You good?”
She nodded. “Please go slow.”
“I got you.”
So, that slow shit lasted about two minutes before she wrapped her legs around my waist and begged me to go harder. Her pussy acclimated itself fast. After that, it was go time.
“Look at you taking all this,” I groaned into her mouth, stroking her long and strong. Her pussy swallowed me in a way that made me marvel at its depth. Infinite and bottomless, it hugged my dick and pulled me in until I couldn’t go any further.
I don’t know what made me think I could say no to this.
“Goddamn, Zay.” The nasty, gushy, splashing sounds of her wetness filled the air. “That pussy got a mouth on it. Fuck .”
Her ankles locked behind my back, and she meant that shit. My dick swelled in response. Her pussy answered that with a squeeze. We were definitely vibing. Just like I thought we would.
“Oh my God,” she moaned. It feels…so good…yessss.”
“I know, baby. Me, too.”
One hand found hers and locked fingers. The other found her nipple, pulling gently while I nipped her bottom lip with my teeth, then brushed my tongue across it. My eyes rolled back. I got lost inside of her. I was off somewhere far away, in a place where I was worthy of her, and this. A sacred place. Somewhere in the midst of the immense pleasure, I flashed on a feeling of gratitude. All the fucking I’d done with random women I didn’t love who didn’t love me, and I’d never once felt grateful.
This shit here was different.
“Mmm…fuck…I’m cumming…”
I popped my head up to see her at the same time I felt her. Eyes rolled back, face twisted in ecstasy. Lips parted. Her body jerked while her pussy pulsed around me. I was overstimulated, but I didn’t even bother to try to distract myself. Not even the apocalypse could have stopped this nut.
I came with a roar, stunned by how ferocious and relentless it was. On and on, over and over, my dick throbbed and skeeted and brought me closer and closer to telling this woman I loved her. What I really loved was her pussy, but at that point, what’s the damn difference?
“Goddamn.” My body jerked through the aftershocks. “Zay. Shit .”
Her legs unlocked and fell open, splaying limply on the bed as she rubbed her hands up and down my back.
I rolled off of her to dispose of the condom. By the time I got back to her, no more than sixty seconds later, she was knocked out cold. I collapsed next to her and rested my eyes. I didn’t wake up until the next morning.