44. Lolly
forty-four
Lolly
The back of the sanctuary is almost overflowing.
Jay and I quietly take a seat. My eyes don’t stop searching until I find him.
My green eyes. My chest aches, my heart heavy.
Natalie was a beautiful soul. I know he must be broken.
I remember the pain of losing my parents and Lani.
The feeling of permanence, like grief would never choose to loosen its grip.
It did in time, but it took so much fucking time.
I don’t know how to be supportive. I respect his decision to move on. To be with her. A few days after the accident, I sent both him and Liam my condolences via text, not expecting one in return, but wanting to give them my support, however futile.
All I know to do is to show up. To sit here on this miserable pew in a fucking church even though he’ll never know I was here.