13. Tess #2
Rocco looks back to me. “I didn’t know it was going to get him into financial trouble, or I’d have said something sooner.”
My heart sinks. Oh, God. What’s he into? Drugs? Gambling? Other women?
“Tell me,” I say.
“Art does a lot of his work pro bono.”
“Pro bono? Isn’t that what lawyers do for people who are in need?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I guess Art sees people in need, too. He works on people who have scarring they hate, that affects their lives, and their self-confidence, and tattoos over it to create something they can be proud of.”
Instinctively, I pull down on the sleeves of my shirt. I’m relieved at his answer though. So Art’s broke because he’s helping people. “Why does he do that?”
“He’s never mentioned Rebecca to you?”
Immediately, I know who he’s talking about. “The girl in the drawings?”
“He showed those to you?” He sounds surprised.
“No, I found them in his stuff, but he knows I’ve seen them.”
“Ah, well maybe you should ask him about her.”
“Please, Rocco. He just shuts down on me, or walks away.”
He exhales a sigh. “I shouldn’t really be telling you this.”
“Please,” I beg.
“Rebecca was a girl he met when they were both eighteen. She was his first love, and he was obsessed with her. They were obsessed with each other. Then Rebecca got into a car accident. The car burst into flames and she was badly burned—she almost died.”
“Oh, my God. The poor thing. So what happened between her and Art? Didn’t he stand by her?”
“He tried to, but she wouldn’t let him. She was disfigured from the burns.
She pushed him away, and then eventually moved to Scotland to be with family.
It broke him, for a long time.” Rocco shrugs.
“But he had the shop and his work, so he threw himself into that. He’s always kept women at an arm’s length since then. .. well, until you came along.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, he’s different around you. He talks about you—even if it isn’t always positively!”
I lift my eyebrows and Rocco’s mouth stretches in a grimace. “Sorry, but it’s the truth.”
I wave away his apology. “So Art wouldn’t normally talk about a woman?”
“No way. He had two rules about women who are connected to the shop, which he said were for all of us, but were really just for him.”
It’s my turn to grimace. “I’m scared to ask.”
“They were pretty simple. Always make sure the woman knows it’s a one night hook-up only and never get involved. I’m assuming he’s broken both of those rules with you.”
My cheeks heat, but I nod. “Yes, he has.” I let out a sigh and cover my face with both hands. “What am I going to do, Rocco? He’s built up his defences so high, I’m not sure he’s ever going to let me in.”
“Just keep trying. Art’s a good guy, underneath the hard-man act. Keep chipping away and it will be worth it.”
I consider his words. “Is he working today?”
“Yeah, he’s downstairs with a client. He’ll be done in an hour or so.”
“Can you send him out the back for something when he’s done? I’ll be waiting for him.”
Rocco nods. “Sure, Tess. I’ll see what I can do.”
I see him out, and then sneak down to sit at the bottom of the stairs, in exactly the same spot where Art and I screwed. That feels like a lifetime ago now.
I wait patiently. The minutes pass and finally the door opens and Art steps through. My heart lurches at the sight of him. Now I know the reasons for him to act the way he has, I discover my feelings for him have magnified. He has a past, too, just like me.
Art stops short at the sight of me. “What do you want, Tess? I’m busy.”
“Sorry. I just want to talk to you.”
He shakes his head, and my heart sinks. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I knew getting involved was gonna be a mistake.”
His words are like a knife. “Gee, thanks!”
“Give me a few days, and I’ll find somewhere, okay? I have a friend who has a room.”
“Come up and stay with me.” I blurt the offer before I even think about it.
“Don’t be stupid, Tess.” Every word he says stings. “We barely know each other. I’m not going to just move in.”
“Not move in. Just stay with me until you get sorted.”
“I don’t want your charity or your pity.”
My emotions for him quickly morph to anger and frustration. “Jesus. It’s not pity. I thought we were doing okay. I thought we were friends—more than friends.”
“You’re my landlady, remember?”
I stare at him. “Why do you have to be such an ass?”
“You think I’m being the ass? Just try to see this from my point of view for once? I’ve got a lot on my plate and you being around isn’t helping anything.”
“You know what I think, Art?”
“No.” He scowls. “But I’m sure you’re gonna tell me anyway.”
“I think you act like you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of you, but in actual fact, you’re constantly aware of the possibility people might be judging you. But you know who’s judging you more than anyone else?”
His arms fold across his chest. “I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.”
“You judge you. And I’m not sure you ever come up good enough in your own eyes. Well, that’s fine, ’cause I can’t be doing with any more of your shit. I waited here to speak to you because I thought there was another side to you, and that you’d be worth my time. Seems I was wrong.”
And with that, I turn and storm back up the stairs, wishing I never come down in the first place.
Wishing I’d stayed in America.