Chapter 22
22
Nataly
All week, I’ve been overthinking everything—what to wear, what to say, how to act normal around Nathan. And now, suddenly, it’s here. I grab my bag, hop on the tube, and settle in for the ride to South Kensington. Just two quick changes, Canning Town and Green Park, and then I’ll be there.
Joel’s texts are still sitting unread on my phone. Well, not unread exactly, just… unanswered.
Joel: Maybe I can prove to you we could still be good together.
What was I supposed to say to that?
It hasn’t even been that long since the breakup, but the emotional distance between us feels like a canyon. And standing on the other side of that canyon? Nathan. Even if this thing between us is just beginning, even if it’s undefined and fragile, I know where my heart is leaning.
I exhale, tapping my fingers on my bag. It’s not like it’s a date-date … but it’s also not not a date. Whatever it is, I’m way too jittery for a casual hangout.
The train hums along the tracks, and I stare out the window, trying to distract myself.
At least I’m meeting Nathan in such a lovely area.
South Kensington is beautiful. All elegant architecture, quiet streets lined with trees, and cute little cafés tucked between grand white townhouses.
London’s a city that begs to be explored—the mix of history and modernity, the endless food options, the sheer variety of cultures. I still haven’t done afternoon tea, but it’s on the list. And oh, my lists have lists.
I like being organized. My mom would probably argue otherwise based on my teenage bedroom, but in my defense, we all had the chair. The one where semi-clean clothes get tossed instead of properly folded? Yeah. That chair. I sigh. I want to change my old ways.
I think that’s something I’m coming to learn throughout life. Lately, I’ve been realizing that life isn’t always black and white. I like black-and-white thinking. It makes things simple. Clear. Like principles. And manners. But people? People aren’t that simple. Their choices, their struggles… they’re messy. Complicated. There are so many reasons why people do things, why they make the decisions they make. And sometimes, they’re swimming in a sea of bad decisions, but their bad decisions don’t make them who they are. I think empathy and humility is where the wisdom lies. No quick labelling. Because every person has gone through something or is going through something. And they all need kindness. Especially the people who are hurting. They advertise their pain the most.
I shake my head, smiling to myself. Nathan’s been challenging a lot of my old ways of thinking lately, even if he doesn’t realize it.
The train slows, and I pull myself out of my thoughts, grabbing my bag.
And this is where everything goes terribly wrong .
Because of course, I can’t just be a normal human being on the tube. No. I have to have embarrassing moments happen to me constantly to humble my existence while on earth.
I don’t have the world’s best balance. I don’t know what happened.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I somehow got to meet the Queen of England and I accidentally curtsy wrong and fall on her or the person next to me, creating some sort of domino effect. I just really am that clumsy.
I step off the train, cheeks still flaming. As I make my way down the street to the café, I spot Nathan already waiting outside. Great. Now I get to walk into our definitely-not-a-date date with this energy.
“Hey, Nat,” he says as he wraps his arms around me in a hug.
I savor the feeling of his arms around me. They’re so big and strong I just want to melt into them after my extremely embarrassing moment.
“You good?” He asks. This is definitely a British way of asking “how are you?” Or “whats up?” I like how it sounds.
“I’m good! I just had one of the most embarrassing moments of my life but you know, I’m good,” I tell him as I chuckle nervously. The nerves are still working on leaving my body.
He takes my expression in and furrows his brow. “What happened?” He grins like he’s waiting for how I’m going to entertain him. He motions me over to a seat outside.
“So I’m basically a balance-challenged person, right?” I laugh.
He grins.
When I was a kid, I was fine. I took a few tumbles here and there, but I’m happy to report no bones were broken. Somewhere along the lines of teenagehood and now adulthood, my balance became abysmal. Maybe it’s the fact I stopped doing dance after I was 17? I don’t know.
“So here I am, on the tube, standing up too soon, while the train is still moving. But I do this all the time! It’s basic tube etiquette, right? But apparently, my feet are not as firmly planted on the ground as I think they are and they decide to fail me today.”
“I start tipping to the side, skidding, my arms flailing—trying to find something to grab onto. And instead of gracefully catching myself… I fall,” I continue.
“But I don’t just fall . No. I fall onto a seat. A human seat. And I sit, ” I say very dramatically.
I see his smile getting bigger.
“I have successfully fallen into a middle-aged man’s lap. The poor guy was probably just zoning out, contemplating life, and then—boom. Surprise, sir, here’s a full-grown woman on you!”
Nathan’s laughing now.
“I sit there, in this complete stranger’s lap, for what is probably only three seconds but feels like forever. My dignity? Gone. So much so, I didn’t even want to look at the man as I got off the train.”
The train stopped, and I launched myself off of him, muttering, “Sorry,” without making any eye contact. I sprinted out of the train doors, heat rushing up my neck. And once I was safely out on the platform, I exhaled.
Then I started laughing. Ah, life. Only me.
“That sounds so much like you, Nataly,” he says as he continues to laugh.
“Graceful is my middle name,” I say as I laugh too.
I’ve also been thinking how to eat like a graceful lady in front of a man I’m extremely attracted to. I feel I’m just like Drew Barrymore in Going the Distance , where Justin Long says, “you’ve got a little sauce,” and while her entire face is covered she asks, “where?” And he points to her whole half bottom of her face and says, “in this general area.”
That’s me. I get stuff everywhere. How am I supposed to impress this attractive guy who I definitely want to kiss me in the near future if all I’ve got is food everywhere?!
But it’s fine. After laughing about my mishap, I feel lighter. Like maybe it’s okay if I spill crepe jam all over me .
The waiter comes over to take our drinks orders and I have a look at the menu. Apple & cinnamon crepe with salted caramel? Count me in.
The waiter comes back and takes our order.
“I’ll take the Kinder Bueno crepe,” Nathan says. It’s got Nutella in it.
“You’re like chocolate’s number one fan, aren’t you?” I smile as I rest my chin on my hand.
“For sure. One of my friends in school always had his mum put a chocolate bar in his lunch box and he never cared for it. I would always take it every day,” he replies.
I laugh. “That’s hilarious.”
We move onto different conversations about our favorite foods. Our crepes arrive, mine looking extra delicious with the salted caramel on top. Nathan’s is basically covered in chocolate.
Then, we shift onto the topic of animals.
“I remember looking up some of the interview questions for Hollister and seeing one online that said they might ask what animal we would be if we had to be one and why,” I laugh as I tell him this. I have no idea if that was actually accurate, but I totally prepared myself in case I was.
“Oh yeah? And what would you have said if that had come up?” He smirks as he cuts through his chocolate crepe.
I tell him what I contemplated. “I thought maybe a dolphin. Dolphins are my second favorite animal, after a dog. I just think they’re so happy and fun and caring. Their personalities are amazing! I’d also love to swim with dolphins one day. I even pretended to be like a dolphin when I was 7, and my parents told me we wouldn’t be swimming with dolphins at Sea World.” I laugh as I shrug. “But I’m probably more like a golden retriever.”
“Dolphins are pretty awesome. I’d love to be out on a boat and see some in the sea.” He looks straight at me and his eyes drop to my mouth. “You’ve got a little something…” his voice trails off.
He moves his hand to where my mouth is and uses his finger to wipe off some of the caramel that must’ve been there. I lean into him as he does it and I feel an electric current zipping back and forth between us.
Actually, I think I’m ok with being a little messy eater if it gets him to touch my face.
Normally I would totally devour this crepe in front of me but right now my stomach feels so jittery and like it’s bottomed out that I’m taking my time with it. Nathan has absolutely destroyed his Nutella and Kinder Bueno crepe though.
Conversation just moves so easily between us the entire time. I love how easy it is to talk to him. We quickly finish our crepes and start to make our way towards the Natural History Museum.
“So, I’ve been wanting to ask…” His voice dips a little. There’s something tender in it. “What happened with Joel? The breakup?”
I pause.
“Honestly? It was okay.” I say, slowly. “I mean, I felt bad. I didn’t want to hurt him. But I just knew. I didn’t want to stay with someone out of guilt or comfort. And he keeps texting me, trying to win me back.” I glance up at Nathan, searching his face. “But I want him to find someone he truly loves. And I know, deep down, that’s not me.”
He doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he reaches for my hand.
His fingers thread through mine like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Then his thumb brushes softly across the back of my hand.
It’s a simple gesture. But it feels like everything.
“I think it’ll all work out,” he says, voice low.
And then he lets go. I hate how much I miss it immediately. His touch was electric and calming all at once, like it jump-started my heart and wrapped it in warmth. I don’t know how he does that. How he makes me feel so seen without saying very much at all. It’s in the way he looks at me. The way he always seems to sense what I’m feeling. The way he can read me like a book.
Inside the museum, it’s dim and golden, filled with the echo of footsteps and the quiet awe of ancient things. We wander through the exhibits. Whale skeletons, prehistoric creatures, rooms full of wonder.
But really, I’m just watching him . The way he points things out with quiet curiosity. The way he listens when I share the weird trivia facts I learned. The way our conversations spill in every direction—dreams, childhood, favorite breakfasts, weird travel stories, the deeper things you’re not supposed to talk about this early but somehow do anyway.
With Nathan, there are no awkward silences. Just space. A safe space to be myself.
And somewhere between the stuffed polar bear and the gem room, I realize: I could talk to this man for hours. Days. Maybe even a lifetime.
“I’m going to have to head soon,” he says after we’ve walked around for a while. “My flight is leaving late tonight, but I’m meeting Will at the airport a bit earlier. Why don’t I walk you to the tube? I drove my motorbike here.”
“Yeah that sounds great,” I say.
The tube is only about a 5 minute walk from the Natural History Museum so we arrive a lot sooner than I would actually like to leave him. We walk up to the barriers and stand to the side so that people can still get past and we’re not blocking their way in while we’re saying bye.
“I hope you have a fun time out in Barcelona. I’m a little jealous,” I say.
He laughs. “Wish you could join me.”
“Me too,” I say, as I look up at him.
The electric current is back but this time it’s deeper. Heavier. Like we both want this to be the moment we kiss.
He wraps his arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck and burrow my head into him.
He doesn’t let go. We just stay wrapped in this embrace for a few seconds too long. Neither one of us wanting to move. My breath catches .
But I don’t think this is our moment. It’s too public. We’re being patient.
He pulls back and looks at me. I can see restraint in him as he lets go of me.
“I’ll catch you soon,” he says.
“Have fun!” I reply and pull out my wallet so I can tap my contactless card and go in.
I look back and he’s still staring at me.
Oh, I can’t wait for him to come home. Maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something new.