Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
E den
As Ava digs through the diaper bag to find what she needs to change her very smelly younger son, I hold Matty in my outstretched arms trying to avoid the stink.
It doesn’t work. I don’t know what speed the smell of baby shit travels, but it has no problem conquering the just over two foot length of my arms.
“Jesus, Ava, what are you guys feeding this kid?” I ask as customers at the mall walk by and stare, their expressions pure revulsion.
She triumphantly pulls out the baby wipes that must have sneaked their way to the bottom of the diaper bag and waves me toward where we know there’s a bathroom in one of the stores.
“It’s going to be okay. Don’t worry. A little baby poop never hurt anyone.
We’ll just pop into that place over there and use the ladies’ room. ”
As I follow her while she pushes the stroller, Matty squeals with delight and I continue to breathe through my mouth and try to avoid the nasty glares of fellow shoppers who clearly don’t agree with Ava’s belief that everything is okay and a little baby shit never hurt anyone.
I love my friend and her kids, but at this very moment, I’m wondering if I side with the disgusted people more than her.
Ten minutes, half a dozen baby wipes, and one little boy who pees when he’s cleaned because like most males he can’t control himself later, the smell is gone and we’re finally able to return to what we came to the mall for in the first place.
Ava said she wanted to go shopping to find a gift for Eleanor’s birthday, but I have a sneaking suspicion we’re here for another reason.
One that has more to do with me.
Ava touches the sweaters on the cardigan rack and sighs. “I spend every day with this woman, but I swear I don’t know what she’d like for her birthday. What should I do?”
I glance at a forest green sweater with fake wood buttons down the front and cringe. “Not buy that. What does Eleanor like to do in her spare time?”
That question stops Ava in her tracks, and she stares at me like I just asked her to explain the meaning of life. Matty makes a cooing sound I hope to God doesn’t mean he’s going to the bathroom again. Seriously, what are they feeding this child?
“I don’t know,” Ava answers looking completely dejected. “How can that be? The woman lives in my house. I’ve known her all my life. I see her every day, and we talk. Like real conversations, not just what the weather’s like and what’s for dinner. What is wrong with me, Eden?”
She looks like she’s about to break down into tears, so I quickly wrap my arm around her and give her a sympathetic squeeze. “Nothing is wrong with you. You just don’t know what gift to get someone. As for your kid, well, there may be something up with his digestive system. Did he just shit again?”
Ava glares at me for my language, so I quickly apologize. “Sorry. I forgot we aren’t all adults here. I think he’s stinky again, though.”
Bending down, she takes a big sniff of the stroller and then stands up, shaking her head. “No. It’s just residual stink. Now help me find something Eleanor would like. Please?”
I don’t bother to ask what residual stink is, and we continue to look through the department store, the two of us vetoing every idea each of us comes up with. Finally, I stop her and ask, “She’s like your mother, right? Well, what would you get your mother if it were her birthday?”
She thinks about that for a minute and says, “Either a pair of slippers or something for cooking.”
Not exactly what I would want for my birthday, but I’m not Eleanor.
“Okay. What about a new appliance she might like? Something that would make her job easier?”
That sounds horrible to me. It’s like buying a woman a vacuum cleaner for a present. Who the hell wants something like that for her birthday? Women want wining and dining and great sex to cap off a wonderful night. Or jewelry. Anything but appliances.
Then again, Eleanor has to be close to sixty, and I’ve never heard Ava say anything about a man in her life, so perhaps she’d enjoy something utilitarian for her birthday. It still seems like a lame gift.
Ava pushes the stroller through the store like a woman on a mission now.
I follow along, happy we have some direction and that Matty’s butt isn’t giving off stink anymore.
She stops in the kitchenware section, and even though I think this is the last place to search for a gift for a woman you love, she points to a set of pots and pans.
“What do you think?”
I struggle to find the right words. “It’s nice?”
She sees through my poor attempt to hide how little I think of this gift. “It’s terrible, isn’t it? Who wants to get a set of pots and pans for a birthday present? God, what is wrong with me? I want to get her something that shows how much I love having her in our lives, and I’m blowing it.”
“Aww, Ava, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Let’s just look around and see if anything jumps out at you. I bet we can find her something really nice that she’ll love.”
As we set off again walking through the store, she says, “By the way, Matthias is inviting someone from work to the party. I thought maybe you might like to meet him.”
There it is. The real reason she wanted me to come along on this shopping trip.
We pass the mixers and blenders, and I say, “Okay, but I’m not really interested in a relationship right now.”
That completely normal statement gets me a look of disbelief. “Do I need to remind you that you haven’t had a boyfriend for more than a few minutes in nearly two years since you and Justin broke up on your trip to Vegas?”
“Maybe I want to be single.”
She laughs at that perfectly acceptable statement. “You sound like Marius. I guess that’s why you two have never succumbed to my matchmaking efforts.”
I smile at how adorable my friend is when it comes to being Cupid. “Blame that on him. I’ve always been more than happy to take a ride on Marius King.”
“Are you still talking about what that old girlfriend of his said?”
Maia did like to brag that after being with Marius she always walked funny. She wasn’t wrong, although I thought she walked funny all the time. Then again, she may have been telling the truth.
My friend has never said anything about Matthias, but she did seem to be walking oddly one day. Ava has always been somewhat secretive about her relationship with the oldest King, though, and I’ve never come right out and asked.
Today seems like a good day to remedy that.
“All I’m saying is I hear the King boys have been blessed, and I don’t mean by all those billions of dollars,” I say with a grin.
When she doesn’t take the bait, I come right out and ask. “Well, you’re married to one. What’s the verdict?”
Ava stops dead, practically running into the stroller, and turns around to look at me with eyes as wide as saucers. “Eden! We’re in the middle of a store at the mall!”
“So?”
Flustered, she answers, “So, I don’t want to talk about that here.”
“Just nod if he’s well-endowed or shake your head and put on a sad face if he’s needledick the bug fucker. That’s all I’m saying.”
She points at the baby and scowls at my language before quickly scanning the area around us to see if anyone heard me. There’s not a soul close enough to have heard my comment, so she doesn’t have anything to worry about.
“Well?” I ask as her cheeks get bright red. “Good to go or itty bitty winkie?”
My best friend has never been one to kiss and tell, so I’m not surprised in all the time she’s been with Matthias that she’s never shared if he’s got the goods or not.
I have to think he does. The man is six foot four and built like a god.
If he has a tiny peen, then what hope is there for the rest of the men in this world?
“I can’t believe you’re asking me this,” Ava says as she starts to push the stroller again.
Oh, well. So much for dishing on the size of the King brothers.
And then, just when I think there’s no chance to find out the answer to my question about Matthias, she turns to look at me and nods with a big smile. I knew it!
“You lucky girl!” I say, practically squealing with delight. “No wonder you couldn’t say no to him. I mean, the money is definitely nice, and Matthias is seriously easy on the eyes, but a man who has the goods and can lay some pipe is worth his weight in gold.”
Now Ava’s face is beet red. “You know my son is right here. You’re talking about his father’s you-know-what right in front of Matty.”
I lean down and smile at the baby lying in the stroller. “Hey, Matty. Can you understand your mom and I are talking about your father’s junk? No? Didn’t think so.”
After tickling his belly, I stand up and smile at Ava. “He doesn’t understand a thing.”
She rolls her eyes and sighs before we start walking again. “Please tell me you’ll consider this guy Matthias is inviting to the party. He’s the head of the IT division at King Industries.”
A geek. That’s who she’s setting me up with. Nice.
“Great. So you get a big hanging man with billions and gorgeous looks, and I get Mr. Wizard. Or worse, that weird guy from The Big Bang Theory.”
Now it’s Ava’s turn to make a joke. “Which one? They’re all weird.”
“If he looks like he’s got a tiny dick, I’m not going to be anything but civil. I just want that out there now.”
Once again, she throws me a dirty look. “Language, please. Little ears.”
“That don’t understand anything.”
“I swear you and Marius are so bad. I had to reprimand him about his language too this morning, and I swear the two of you have winkies on the mind.”
Cringing at the sound of that word, I shake my head. “You can trust me. I do not have winkies on the mind.”
Big hanging men? Sure. Winkies? That word is the surest way of making me dry. I don’t bother to explain that to Ava, though.
We stop in the jewelry department and look at necklaces, even though I don’t think I’ve ever seen Eleanor wearing a necklace in all the times I’ve been to the King estate. When Ava doesn’t find anything she likes, we continue to the case with pins.
Ava points at one that looks like a peacock. “What about this? She might like it and wear it on her coat. I know she has other pins. I’ve seen them on her winter coats before.”
A worker comes over to offer help, so while he and Ava talk about what the stones are made of in the peacock’s feathers, I crouch down to check on Matty. I swear I still smell something when I’m close to him, but it’s not as bad now. Maybe it is residual stink like Ava claimed.
He is an adorable little guy. Smiling at me, he kicks his legs excitedly. I tickle his belly and then play with his chubby little feet.
“You’re not too bad, little man. I could have one of you. That might be nice, right? Your mommy and I could raise you guys like cousins, best friends like us. What do you think?”
That makes him grab at my hair, so I quickly stand up to avoid that. Ava’s finally decided on a gift for Eleanor with that peacock pin, so now all we have to do is wait for the salesperson to box it up.
“I bet she’ll like that,” I say, sensing my friend is still upset with me from my comment a few minutes ago.
When she doesn’t respond, I give in and promise her what she wants. “Okay, if Bill Nye the Science Guy isn’t awful, I’ll talk to him. No promises after that, though.”
That makes her smile, and she turns to face me, looking very excited. “Great! He’s obviously smart. I mean, he’s the head of the IT department. Matthias says he’s a nice guy. I met him at the King Industries Christmas party, and he seemed very sweet.”
Great. Just what I need. A sweet and nice geek.
Maybe he’ll be hiding something good in his pants. A girl can hope, right?
Gift in hand, Ava begins pushing the stroller through the store again as she talks about what she’s planning to serve everyone at the party. I’m more concerned about what my potential date looks like than the food since I can always count on whatever Eleanor makes to be top shelf.
Ava’s phone rings, so I take over pushing Matty out of the store.
Still kicking his little legs, he’s pleased as punch to be in this thing.
My youngest brother was like that. He loved his playpen so much that my parents kept him in it all the time.
My father used to joke they’d be lucky if he didn’t become a criminal after getting used to being confined all the time.
“What happened?” Ava asks the person who called, so I stop and listen to what’s going on.
“Oh, no. Is she okay? Where is she now? Okay. We’ll be right home.”
Ava stuffs her phone into her purse and grabs a hold of the stroller.
“We have to go now. Something’s happened to Eleanor.
That was Ronan. He sounded like he was going to cry.
It must be bad. Oh, God! I don’t know what I’ll do if she isn’t okay, Eden.
Eleanor is like a mother to me. Hurry! We have to go! ”
Tears fill her eyes as she rushes through the mall to get to the car. After losing her own mother, all Ava’s had for a mother figure in her life is Eleanor. The same can be said for Matthias and his brothers.
God, I hope she’s going to be okay.