Chapter Ten #3
“You sure?” She flicks her gaze to Jude and then back to me.
“Yes.”
We’re interrupted when Dana asks me to pass the mashed potatoes.
I relax a little when Kara offers Jude the gravy and she smiles at him.
I hate how my mood changes every five seconds based on how Kara treats Jude.
I’ve never been in such an awkward position before.
I’ve never had a girlfriend who disliked my best friend.
Because that’s what Jude is to me. Even if I haven’t known him that long, we’re really close.
We have the same sense of humor and we share so many common interests.
I’ve never been this close to another shifter, not counting family.
If Kara can’t accept Jude in my life, I’m going to have to make a decision, and that isn’t a decision I want to make. I want them both in my life.
The meal is everything it should be. The turkey is perfect, the skin crispy, the meat falling apart.
The sweet potatoes are rich and buttery.
Mom’s cranberry sauce has that tart bite that balances everything.
Conversation flows easily as the kids giggle and squirm in their seats.
It’s a warm, homey day and I hope Jude is happy he came.
Naturally, Jude listens more than he talks. But when someone asks him a question, he answers thoughtfully. He compliments the food sincerely without overdoing it. At one point, Mom asks him what Thanksgiving was like growing up, and I tense, ready to redirect.
But Jude handles it. “We didn’t do much for holidays,” he says simply. “But I remember going to a relative’s house a couple of times when I was very young. I don’t remember her name, but she made a really good sweet potato casserole.”
“Was it as good as mine?” Mom asks with a competitive glint.
“Yours is way better,” he says, and he sounds sincere.
Mom grins. “I like this one, Liam. You should keep him.”
I laugh. “I intend to.”
Kara’s fork pauses halfway to her mouth. She recovers quickly, but I see it. The slight tightening around her eyes. The way her smile stiffens for just a beat before she resumes eating.
I’m going to get an ulcer if this keeps up.
After dinner, everyone settles into that warm, overfed haze that always happens on Thanksgiving.
The kids are in the back room watching a movie.
Connor is on the couch with my dad, the two of them deep in a drunken debate about whether the ski resort has been good or bad for the town.
Jack is helping Dana do the dishes because Mom guilted him into it, and Kara is helping Mom wrap leftovers, chatting easily about a property she just listed.
I spy Jude on the back porch. He’s standing at the railing, beer in hand, looking out at the dark pines that line the backyard. His expression is pensive.
“Hey.” I step out and close the door behind me. “You okay?”
“Of course.” He glances at me. “Your family is really nice, Liam.”
“They like you.”
He gives a doubtful half-smile. “They’re polite. They wouldn’t show it if they didn’t.”
“Ha. That’s what you think.” I lean against the railing beside him. “My mom doesn’t fake anything. If she didn’t like you, you’d know. And my dad laughed at your jokes. If you can make him laugh, you’re in.”
Jude is quiet, his jaw working. The sounds of the house drift through the door behind us, laughter, the clink of dishes, the low murmur of conversation. Normal family sounds that I’ve heard my whole life and never thought twice about.
“Today was great, but weird,” he says.
I frown. “Weird how?”
His smile is melancholy. “It was weird being around a family who all like each other so much.” He glances at me. “My parents didn’t like me or each other. And I didn’t care for them much either.”
“You don’t pick your family, right?” I nudge his arm. “But there’s such a thing as found family. You don’t have to share the same blood to have family, Jude.”
“You mean the pack?”
I shrug. “Not just the pack. You can find individual people who fit with you. People you share the same sense of humor and hobbies with. They become like family. You don’t want to lose them.”
He hesitates and then says quietly, “You mean, like you and me?” My chest physically hurts at the hope in his voice. But before I can respond, he laughs harshly and turns away. “God, I must be drunk. What a lame thing to say.”
I grab his arm before he can go inside. “No, don’t run away, Jude.”
He stops, but his head is down and I can feel his embarrassment. The muscles of his bicep are tense under my fingers, and I have the strangest urge to pull him into my arms to comfort him.
“You are like family to me,” I say huskily. “I wouldn’t want to lose you.”
He looks up at me under his brows. “You don’t have to say that. I shouldn’t have said what I said. Sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize.” I swallow hard. “I’m… I’m glad you feel close to me, Jude. I feel close to you too. Real close.”
The door opens behind us and I quickly let go of his arm. Mom pokes her head out. “If you two are done being antisocial, there’s pie.”
“Uh, we’ll be right in Mom.” I pray I sound normal. I don’t feel normal. Something is going on with me and Jude, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“Well, hurry up. It’s freezing out here and you’re both going to catch pneumonia.” She sounds chiding as she heads back inside.
Jude slips past me and goes into the house and I follow a few moments later.
Kara latches on to me the instant I’m in the house, and maybe it’s guilt, but I stick close to her the rest of the evening.
Mom serves the pie, but we don’t eat it at the table.
Everyone picks a comfy spot in the living room.
Jude talks mostly to Jack and my dad as he eats his pumpkin pie.
I’m glad he seems comfortable with them, since I’m occupied with Kara.
Jude is the first to leave. When he goes, he’s holding containers of food my mom has forced on him. He doesn’t specifically say goodbye to me so much as the entire room at once, and then he escapes into the night.
When Kara and I are preparing to leave, Mom pulls me aside. “Bring Jude around more often, okay? I think he needs to be around pack more.”
I grimace. “Easier said than done. He’s not the most social guy in the world.”
She frowns. “He seemed fine to me.”
He had seemed fine today, but I’d been able to tell it was a strain for him. Because I know him so well. Because I can practically feel what he feels. Because Jude has gotten under my skin in an alarmingly personal way.
“He’s never been a part of a pack,” I say.
She looks taken aback. “No?”
“It’s a long story.” I rake a hand through my hair. “But not mine to tell.”
“I see.” She purses her lips. “I still think it would be good for him to be around us more. The more comfortable he is with us, the better. Just because he’s never had a pack doesn’t mean he’s never wanted one.”
“To hear him tell it he hasn’t.”
She laughs. “He’s a shifter, honey. He wants to belong.” She gives a sad smile. “He’s just scared. But I really liked him. We all did. Do as I say and bring that boy around more. I was going to invite you over Sunday for a nice spaghetti dinner. Bring Jude.”
“I’ll tell him about the invite,” I say, hoping to pacify my mom. I’m not sure Jude will be willing to come, but it can’t hurt to ask. “Should I invite Kara too?”
“No.” She wrinkles her brow, looking thoughtful. “He seemed tense around her and I don’t think she likes him. I want him to be able to really relax with us.”
Shocked at how perceptive my mom is I grimace. “You noticed?”
“Of course I did.” She ruffles my hair. “I’m a mom. I notice everything.”
“Kara might be upset if she’s not invited,” I admit.
Mom looks sly. “She has a real estate meeting down in Silver Creek. Why do you think I picked that day to have Jude over for dinner?”
I grin. “Wow, I had no idea you were this manipulative, Mom.”
She smiles. “No manipulation. I just want to get to know Jude better and I don’t think he’ll open up around Kara.”
I give her a hug and she laughs. “He might actually come if it’s just us,” I say gruffly.
“Good.” She pulls back, running a hand over her hair. “Now, go get that girl of yours home. She’s three sheets to the wind. I’ve never seen Kara drink so much.”
We say our goodbyes and I help Kara to the car.
Mom wasn’t wrong, Kara is definitely feeling no pain.
But thankfully she’s in a good mood. She doesn’t mention Jude once as I drive to her house.
When she asks me to spend the night, I agree because I don’t want to upset her. I can’t take anymore animosity tonight.
Once we’re in bed, I’m relieved when she falls asleep almost instantly.
I hold her in my arms, my thoughts a jumbled mess.
Out on the porch tonight with Jude, something shifted between me and him.
The yearning in his eyes, it did something strange to me.
He tried to pass it off as just being drunk, but I don’t buy it.
I haven’t wanted to acknowledge it, but the day we went snowboarding, something passed between us that time too.
Something other than friendship. Something that made my body react in a way I’ve never in my life experienced toward another male shifter.
I’m scared of the feelings he brings up in me.
I don’t want them. I absolutely don’t want to feel these strange urges for him.
I want my perfect little life the way it was.
But my gut tells me I can’t have Jude and that life.