Epilogue
Liam
When Jude and I walk through my parents’ front door Christmas Day, the entire home smells of roasted ham, cinnamon and cloves, potatoes, and fresh bread.
Mom has been cooking since yesterday. I know this because she called me three times to ask whether Jude preferred pecan or pumpkin pie, whole-berry cranberries or jellied, sourdough rolls or Hawaiian.
She’s very concerned that his first real Christmas with us goes well.
The fact she cares so much about Jude already means everything to me.
Jude is beside me, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag of wrapped gifts in the other.
At his feet, his new rescue dog Duke’s tail is wagging so hard his entire back end sways.
The big shepherd mix has filled out since Jude adopted him a few weeks ago.
His coat is glossy now, his ribs no longer visible, and he’s attached himself to Jude with a devotion that borders on obsessive.
The feeling is mutual. Jude talks to that dog like he’s a person.
“Shoes off, boys,” Mom calls from the kitchen before we’ve even closed the door.
I frown. “Since when do we have to take our shoes off?”
“Since I got new carpet. Didn’t you notice?” Mom appears a second later, wiping her hands on her apron. “Do you need glasses? It’s a completely different beige. This is called Winter Wheat and the old carpet was called Summer Flax. ”
“It’s very nice,” Jude murmurs, but I can tell he doesn’t see a difference either.
I grunt. “It looks exactly like the other carpet.”
“Oh, he’s blind, isn’t he Duke?” Mom drops to her knees to greet Duke. “How’s my handsome grandson doing today?”
“Mom, he’s a dog,” I say. “Maybe you’re the one who needs glasses.”
“He’s not a dog, he’s family.” She scratches behind Duke’s ears and he melts against her, tail thumping the carpet. She looks up at Jude and smiles. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Sorry, I got distracted by Duke.”
“Merry Christmas… Mom.” She insisted he call her Mom. The word still comes out a little self-conscious from him, but she beams every time he says it. He leans down and kisses her cheek, showing her the wine. “Liam picked this one. Blame him if it’s bad.”
“It won’t be bad. Liam has good taste.” She winks at Jude. “Obviously.”
“Oh, you’re smooth, Mom.” I laugh.
Once Jude and I have drinks, we find Dad in the living room by the fire, settled into his recliner with a glass of something amber.
The tree is in the corner, a big Douglas fir strung with colored lights and ornaments that span decades.
Some of them Jack and I made in elementary school, lopsided clay stars and popsicle stick reindeer. Mom refuses to retire any of them.
“Merry Christmas, son.” Dad rises and hugs me, then pulls Jude into a brief hug that no longer catches him off guard. “Jude. Good to see you.”
“You too, Marco.”
“Dog’s getting fat,” Dad observes, watching Duke sniff his way around the living room with great interest.
Jude shakes his head. “Ninety percent of that is fur.”
Dad rubs his jaw. “He’s housetrained, right? Viv is very protective of her new carpet.”
“He’s housetrained,” Jude says. “Not one accident since I got him.”
“He did eat one of my best running shoes though,” I volunteer.
Jude sighs. “You left them on the floor. I told you not to do that until we knew if he liked eating shoes or not. Why do you always bring that up? I bought you a new pair.”
“I bring it up so that I get sympathy.”
Jude laughs. “You don’t deserve sympathy. The new shoes I got you are actually way nicer than your old ones.”
“Oh, I’m well aware.” I smirk. “I’m trying to get Duke to eat my old cowboy boots too so you’ll buy me a nicer pair of those as well.”
“You’re shameless.” Jude rolls his eyes.
Dad chuckles and settles back into his recliner. Duke finishes his inspection of the room and parks himself at Jude’s feet, leaning against his leg. Jude automatically drops a hand to the dog’s head.
Jack arrives twenty minutes later with a woman I’ve never seen before. She’s tall, athletic, with dark skin and short natural hair. Her smile is wide and easy, and when Jack introduces her as Priya, she shakes my hand with a firm grip.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says. “Jack says you’re the younger brother from Hell and I shouldn’t listen to anything you say.”
“All lies,” I assure her. “I’m an angel. Always have been.”
Jude raises his brows, but says nothing.
“That’s what Jack said you’d say.” She laughs and turns to Jude. “I hear you and Liam are partners on the force?”
“Former partners,” Jude corrects, sighing. “They split us up when we started dating.”
She looks empathetic. “I guess they have to do that for safety reasons?”
“That’s what they say.” Jude grimaces. “But I miss Liam. We had a lot of fun during work. My new partner is more stiff. Not much of a sense of humor.”
“Who did they put you with, Jude?” Jack asks, cracking open a bottle of beer and handing it to Priya.
She takes it and smiles at him.
“Jude’s with Kevin Winston now,” I say, trying to keep the sourness out of my voice. I haven’t fully made peace with the new arrangement. Kevin is competent. Solid. Dependable. But he’s not me. I’m not sure I trust him to keep Jude safe.
“How’s Kevin working out?” Jack asks, opening a beer for himself.
Jude shrugs. “Kevin is fine. Talks a lot less than Liam.”
“Everyone talks less than Liam,” Jack says.
“Shouldn’t you be on your best behavior with Priya here?” I frown. “You should at least pretend to be a nice guy.”
Jude ignores our bickering and continues. “The problem is I’m kind of quiet and then Kevin is kind of quiet. So, it’s pretty awkward in between calls.”
“So what I’m hearing is,” Jack says, “Liam used to blabber nonstop so things were less awkward?” Jack ducks when I playfully swipe at his face.
Jude meets my gaze, looking a little sad. “All I know is, I miss my real partner and I wish the department hadn’t split us up.”
I sigh. “Me too.” My new partner is a guy named Owen. He’s fine, but he’s not Jude. I miss the shorthand Jude and I had. The way we could communicate with a look. The way he always knew what I was thinking.
“Owen seems nice enough,” Jude says.
“He’s fine.” I lift one shoulder. “But he’s dull as dirt. He’s sucking the life out of me. I’ve thought about it a lot and I suspect he’s an energy vampire. I start the day with vigor and the minute he gets in the car, I’m drained.”
Jude chuckles. “Energy vampire.”
“See, and Jude thinks I’m funny. Owen doesn’t.” I grin and bump Jude’s shoulder with mine and he leans into me briefly.
“Hmmm.” Jack looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Could it be that Jude is blinded by love and you’re not actually funny, bro?”
“Oh, fuck off,” I say.
“Liam watch your language,” both Mom and Dad say in unison.
Wincing, I mutter, “Sorry. I forgot where I was.”
“Uh, oh. He’s already getting senile.” Jack sniggers.
Priya laughs. “You two should take this show on the road.”
Dad also laughs. “Yes, please. Take it on the road. A very long road that takes you very far away.”
Mom appears in the doorway. “Dinner in fifteen minutes. Everyone wash up. Jack, bring Priya in here so I can actually talk to her. There’s way too much testosterone in this house.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jack leads Priya toward the kitchen, and I hear Mom launch into the kind of rapid-fire warmth that can overwhelm people who aren’t prepared for it. Priya laughs at something, which is a good sign. If she can handle Mom in full holiday mode, she can handle anything.
Jude and I wash up in the hallway bathroom. The space is small, and we bump elbows at the sink. He catches my eye in the mirror and we smile at each other.
“This is way better than Thanksgiving,” Jude says softly. “I was so stressed out that time. It’s all a blur.”
“You do seem more relaxed.” I kiss the side of his neck, right over the claiming mark that’s healed into a pale scar.
He shivers and pushes me away. “Don’t start something you can’t finish in your parents’ bathroom.”
I waggle my eyebrows. “Who says I can’t finish it? We have fifteen minutes until dinner.”
His laugh verges on a giggle and he leaves the bathroom quickly.
The dining room table is dressed for the occasion.
A red linen runner stretches down the center, flanked by tall red candles and a garland.
The wine glasses catch light from the flickering candles, and each place setting has a small candy cane resting across the folded napkin.
The ham sits in the middle, golden and glistening, surrounded by roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, homemade rolls, and a cranberry relish that Mom makes.
We crowd around the table. Mom and Dad at each end, Jack and Priya on one side, Jude and me on the other. Duke has stationed himself under the table near Jude’s feet, his warm weight resting across both our shoes.
Dad carves the ham and Mom passes dishes around.
Jack is already loading his plate to capacity and Priya looks on as if impressed.
Jude reaches for the rolls, laughing at something my dad said.
Watching him makes my heart swell. Thanksgiving, he seemed subdued, and afraid to speak in case he said something wrong.
Now he knows he belongs here, and that makes me so damn happy.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Mom says, setting down her wine glass. “Kara called this morning to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. She’s at her parents’ place in California. She sounded good.”
I glance at Jude. His expression is neutral. “It’s nice of her to call,” I say.
Mom says, “I was glad to hear her voice.”
“She used to help you a lot in the kitchen too,” Dad says.
“She sure did.” Mom smiles gently. “She asked about you, Jude. She said to tell you merry Christmas.”
Surprise flickers across his face. “Really?”
“Really,” Mom says.