Chapter 11
chapter
eleven
Tobias woke up in a suspicious lack of pain.
He opened his eyes. He was mostly naked on his couch underneath a ratty sheet. A bottle of coconut water sat on the coffee table, a pile of pills next to it.
Tobias reached out. Then he paused.
There was a bandage tied around his hand. He tugged at the loose fit, revealing a healing cut.
“Okay,” Tobias muttered. He rubbed the pink skin, trying to remember. He had a fuzzy image of staring down at Alexander’s horrified face, and then…what? Obviously it couldn’t have gone that badly, if he had a bandaged hand and he was lying peacefully on the couch.
He sat up, adjusted the sheet over his lap, and stared at the pills. Only one of them was aspirin. Another one smelled like fish oil, the others were anybody’s guess.
He picked up an orange capsule.
“Vitamin D,” came a voice from behind him.
Tobias turned. Alexander was spinning his jawbone knife in the doorway. He was wearing yesterday’s clothes, but he smelled like Tobias’s gas station shampoo and chamomile soap, the combined scents making something possessive rear up inside him.
Alexander’s hair was still black. He hadn’t washed the dye out. For some reason this made Tobias deeply happy.
“Turmeric,” Alexander continued, the knife flashing around his finger. “B2. Magnesium. All good for chronic pain.”
Tobias pinched a gummy vitamin in his fingers. It was shaped like a wolf in mid-howl.
“That one was on sale,” Alexander said, too fast.
Tobias grinned and threw a handful of pills in his mouth, swallowing them down with a gulp of coconut water. He didn’t think the vitamins would actually make any difference, but knowing Alexander went to the effort was as good as a tonic.
He swallowed the nasty concoction and sat back against the couch. “Did we fight? This place looks…”
He checked around. Nothing was broken. Some things had been moved around, including his family photo, which looked weird for reasons that didn’t click until he realized the glass was gone.
“We didn’t fight,” Alexander said. He snapped his jawbone knife closed and bent to slot it into his ankle holster. “You were just…boisterous.”
Tobias squinted, a hazy memory resurfacing. “Did we play fetch?”
“No,” Alexander said, too fast.
Tobias laughed, another memory coming back. It was hard to understand English when he was in wolf form, but he understood intentions. And he remembered Alexander’s voice, low and soothing, as his hands worked over Tobias’s scars.
“Did you massage me?” he asked, incredulous.
“You wouldn’t shut up otherwise.” Alexander headed toward the door, still not looking at him. By this point, Tobias was pretty sure it was about his nakedness. He could feel vestiges of his boxers clinging to his crotch, but not much else.
He lay back against the couch, letting the sheet fall further down his hips. “You did a good job. Haven’t felt this good the morning after a transformation in…shit. Ever.”
Alexander paused at the door. His hand twitched like he was going to reach for the doorknob. Then he stopped. Then he went for it again.
This happened three more times before Alexander turned to him, keeping his gaze squarely on Tobias’s face.
“Is it always there?” he asked. “The pain?”
Tobias held back a grimace. He’d been way too honest back there.
“It’s fine,” he said, stretching in an attempt to make Alexander forget his concerns and focus on Tobias’s sexy torso instead. He even had abs when he flexed, courtesy of the werewolf metabolism and inability to stay inactive.
But Alexander’s gaze stayed on his face, even if his cheeks did go red.
“It sounded bad,” he said. “Last night.”
Tobias sighed. His wolf had always been worse at keeping a lid on his emotions. Even now he could feel it pawing at his chest, wanting him to drag Alexander closer. It didn’t understand logic or reasons, it just knew his mate was around and it wanted him close.
“My wolf makes a big deal out of everything,” Tobias started.
But Alexander was talking over him. “I could—”
They both stopped.
Tobias flapped a hand at him. “Continue.”
Alexander didn’t look particularly eager to keep going. Actually, he reached toward the door again before gritting his teeth and forcing it out.
“If it still hurts, I could—you know,” he said lamely. “So you’re in optimal condition.”
Tobias wanted to make fun of him for the phrasing. But he was afraid that if he opened his mouth anything he said would be translated by his wolf, who was tearing him up with need. It wanted to leap on Alexander and pin him to the floor like he’d done last night.
The silence stretched.
Alexander cleared his throat, embarrassed. “Anyway. I’ll text you when we need to advance the plan.”
“No, no, hey.” Tobias stood, gripping the sheet so it didn’t completely fall off. “That would be great. Thank you.”
Alexander blinked. He looked surprised, like he’d been expecting more verbal flourishes. Tobias had been trying to come up with some, but was so blinded by want he’d fallen into polite nothings. Especially since Alexander looked like he was seconds away from calling the whole thing off and bolting.
Tobias stood, surveying the living room awkwardly. “So…where do we do this?”
“Last time you sat in my lap,” Alexander said. “I don’t think that would work now.”
Tobias bit back a smart comment. “I could lie on the couch? You could sit next to it and go to town.”
“That could work,” Alexander admitted.
Tobias lay down, stomach-first. After a pause, he pulled the sheet away and dropped it next to Alexander as he knelt down next to him.
“Easy access,” he said. “To, y’know. Legs. And other muscly bits.”
“Right,” Alexander said. He sounded flustered. Which made sense, considering that Tobias could feel cool air over parts that should have been covered with his tattered boxers.
He pillowed his head on his arms. “Be honest. How well are my boxers holding together?”
“I think it’s good you bought more,” Alexander said. He rubbed his hands together.
Warming them up, Tobias thought, ridiculously fond. He twisted to meet his eyes. “What, no oil?”
“I didn’t think of it,” Alexander said. His obvious annoyance didn't seem to be directed at Tobias. “Lie down. I’ll…I’ll start with your shoulders.”
Leaving the good stuff for last, huh? Tobias didn’t say it. That stammer gave away how out of his depth Alexander felt, no matter how unflappable he wanted to come across. Massaging a wolf was one thing, massaging a naked guy who keeps hitting on you was another.
Never mind that Alexander suggested it. Tobias was still reeling at that—usually it was Tobias taking every step forward, dragging Alexander in to meet him in the middle.
This was maybe the first time Alexander had taken a step toward him.
The first time he’d been so obvious about it, anyway.
Tobias still counted that first offering of coconut water.
He propped his chin on his arms and waited. Nothing happened.
He looked back. Alexander was still rubbing his hands together.
“What?” Alexander demanded when Tobias laughed. “Would you like them to be cold?”
“No. Go ahead.”
Alexander lay his hands on Tobias’s shoulders. His touch was cool and firm, none of the tentative exploration Tobias had been expecting. He kneaded Tobias’s shoulders like he was mad at them, digging his fingers into the muscle hard enough to make him hiss.
“I know you didn’t do it this hard when I was a wolf,” Tobias said into his arms.
“Yes, well,” Alexander said. “You’re not operating on base instinct anymore. I know you won’t bite me.”
Don’t tempt me, Tobias mouthed.
Alexander dug his thumbs into a cluster of scars on his shoulder. He let out a shocked moan as the pain intensified before fading into a soft, almost pleasurable throb.
Alexander stopped. “Was…was that okay?”
“That was awesome,” Tobias said. He lifted his head to shoot Alexander a grin. “What, did I not make those noises when I was a wolf?”
“No,” Alexander said after a long pause. “You didn’t.”
Tobias didn’t let himself linger on any of the embarrassing crap he could’ve done as a wolf. He was still relieved that his mate instincts had taken over and not the territorial ones. He’d take being mortifyingly clingy and affectionate over hurting Alexander any day.
Not to mention, the mate instincts seemed to help. If somebody got stripped down to their base instincts and started getting all lovey-dovey, Tobias would probably trust them more, too.
“Sooo,” Tobias said. “On a scale from licking your face to humping your leg, how embarrassing was I last night?”
“I’d take humping over mauling,” Alexander replied.
Tobias jerked up to look at him, horrified.
“You didn’t! You didn’t,” Alexander said. He nudged Tobias to lie back down. “You just…you were very…”
“Enthusiastic,” Tobias deadpanned. He lay back down, with Alexander’s hands moving over his bare shoulders again. “Sorry, man. Hard to be cool when you’re all animal urges.”
Alexander was silent. His fingers worked at knots Tobias didn’t know were there, further loosening muscles that he must have started on last night. Tobias knew about the scar tissue, he didn’t realize how tight his muscles had gotten under all that.
“When I hear animal urges,” Alexander said finally. “I think of someone getting ripped apart. Not…what you were doing.”
“Sorry,” Tobias repeated. He couldn’t remember much, but he had definite flashes of trying to burrow as close to Alexander as possible while Alexander made annoyed noises and shoved him away. As if he had any luck shoving away a three-hundred-pound wolf.
“It was cute,” Alexander said, so fast Tobias almost didn’t catch it.
Tobias couldn’t help himself, a pleased rumble gathering in his throat. “Did you just call me cute, Alex?”
“Only as a wolf,” Alexander said.
Tobias kept waiting for the irritation to seep back into his voice. But Alexander sounded…stressed. His massaging was getting light and fast, like he was less sure of his hands.
“Tobias,” he said. “You know you can’t tell anyone, right? Even just that we were allies. Let alone…anything else.”
Tobias thought about Alexander’s family, blond and dedicated and deeply violent, producing children who made no noise when they got stabbed but had to get coaxed into dyeing their hair.
Alexander did want to go back, Tobias didn’t doubt that.
But it was the want of an animal in a cage, missing the painful comfort of the too-tight bars.
“I know,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
Alexander said nothing.
Tobias sighed and sat up, turning to face him. Alexander was wearing a guarded expression that implied he worried about most things and found it disconcerting that Tobias didn’t. Tobias was getting the feeling that most of Alexander’s anger was just worry wearing a scowly suit.
He touched Alexander’s hair, dyed black and as tidy as ever. “I really am sorry for kissing you in the parking lot. I don’t make a habit of kissing people who don’t want it.”
Alexander swallowed. He didn’t move away, even as Tobias pushed his hand through more of his hair, ruining the neat part down the side.
“You already apologized,” Alexander said distractedly. “And it was a tactical decision. It worked out.”
Tobias hummed. The world was narrowing into Alexander’s dyed hair, which was getting messier with every touch of Tobias’s hand. And still Alexander didn’t move away.
Tobias leaned in, watching Alexander’s pupils swell. “You want it now, though. I can smell it.”
Alexander’s breath hitched. He leaned away from the couch. “You…you can’t actually smell that.”
Tobias shrugged. “Smells like sweat. Salt. Smells cold, I don’t know why everything about you smells cold, but it gets stronger when you want me to kiss you.”
It was a half-truth. He couldn’t smell want, but he could see Alexander’s eyes going half-lidded, see his gaze flicker to watch Tobias’s mouth, his neck, the coarse hair over his chest. Not to mention Alexander’s tantalizing scent was intensifying with every second, so heavy and clear Tobias felt drunk with it.
“Cold?” Alexander asked weakly.
“In a good way,” Tobias told him. “Feels satisfying. Clean.”
Alexander was still staring at him. His eyebrows furrowed, and Tobias reached up to smooth the wrinkle with his thumb.
“It’s okay,” Tobias said, only half-aware of what was coming out of his mouth. “Wanting me. Nobody’s watching.”
Alexander made a wounded noise. Tobias almost looked to see if his claws were pricking out by accident.
Then Alexander kissed him, and it was impossible to think about anything else.