Chapter 23 #2
Finally Tobias pushed all the way in, his hips flat against Alexander’s ass. Alexander clenched his own hands trapped behind his back, waiting.
But Tobias didn’t move. He just stayed there, braced over Alexander, his cock heavy and throbbing inside him.
He nuzzled Alexander’s neck. “Does that suffice?”
It took several lust-addled seconds for it to click.
Alexander kicked him weakly. “Do you want to make fun of me or fuck me?”
“Both,” Tobias said. “Always both.”
He nuzzled Alexander’s neck, inhaling with such a contented sound Alexander wondered what he smelled like.
Tobias was always smelling him, always nuzzling him and inhaling his scent like it was the best thing he’d ever smelled.
Then Tobias’s hips snapped forward, and Alexander stopped thinking about anything that wasn’t Tobias inside him.
Sweat smeared between their bodies. Alexander was dimly aware of Tobias panting in his ear, furnace-hot as he pressed himself against Alexander’s damp, trembling back.
“Tell me—” Tobias pulled him closer, changing the angle so his cock struck Alexander’s prostate on every thrust. “Tell me you love it.”
“I love it,” Alexander said nonsensically. “I love it, I love it so much, I love—”
Tobias choked off with a moan. His hips faltered, his chin hooking over Alexander’s shoulder. Alexander turned just enough to see Tobias’s eyes slammed shut. He was shaking with effort as he gripped Alexander hard enough to bruise. Then he came.
The noise he made was guttural and desperate, trailing off into a whimper that sounded like Alexander’s name. His big hand slid down and closed around Alexander’s cock, barely fumbling two strokes before Alexander’s vision grayed out.
When Alexander came back to himself, he was tucked into Tobias’s side.
His cock was soft and his hole was satisfyingly sore, like a muscle after a decent workout.
Tobias still had his chin over his shoulder, an arm curled protectively around Alexander’s chest. He was humming a tune that Alexander thought he recognized.
An old showtune, perhaps. Maybe an ad from late-night TV.
“Hey,” Tobias said softly. “How’re you feeling?”
Alexander couldn’t make his tongue cooperate. He grunted instead, rubbing his cheek on Tobias’s arm.
Tobias’s chuckle was warm and throaty. “Okay, good.”
Alexander let his cheek rest there against Tobias’s arm, still awash with endorphins and reckless thoughts.
Tell me you love it, Tobias had said.
He did love Tobias’s cock. He loved Tobias’s muscled shoulders and his hairy torso and how gentle he was, even when he was holding him down.
He loved that he didn’t have to look back to know Tobias was watching him, monitoring his reactions, keeping track of what was bringing Alexander pleasure.
He loved Tobias’s messy hair, his dark, knowing eyes, how his scarred mouth quirked into a crinkled smile.
He even loved knowing Tobias was changing him. Tobias made him feel free and wild in ways that felt dangerous. Most of the time he was afraid of it. But as he lay in Tobias’s arms, their naked bodies pressed together, Alexander couldn’t remember why. Surely this was worth it.
Then Tobias spoke, and it all came rushing back.
“I thought you’d be at that motel with your parents.”
Alexander blinked. It took an immense amount of effort to make his brain work, let alone connect it to his mouth.
“They came over,” he said.
“I know. I could smell ’em.” Tobias buried his face in Alexander’s neck and inhaled, as if to replace the scent. “How was it?”
Alexander repressed an uncomfortable twinge. He wished Tobias hadn’t asked that. He wished Tobias hadn’t brought them up at all. Although, he berated himself with a sinking stomach, it was probably for the best. These trysts with Tobias were simply…a break from real life. It was time to go back.
“Fine,” he said, reluctantly pushing himself up. “Except Mother critiqued my design choices. Even though they’re perfectly functional.”
“Damn right.” Tobias sat up, kissing his shoulder. “That sucks, babe. ’Cause your apartment? Fucking miles away from the average nineteen-year-old. She’s full of shit.”
“It’s obviously a step down from the family home,” Alexander said slowly. He looked around his bedroom, which was admittedly shabby but as clean as he could make it. And he’d added the few personal flourishes he allowed himself despite moving constantly.
“But it’s good,” he continued. “I like it. It’s…mine.”
A strange, icy sensation was climbing his chest. Alexander had felt it often in the last few weeks, but it was always easy to ignore. This time it could very possibly overwhelm him. But before it could overtake him completely, his gaze landed on his jawbone knife.
It was on his nightstand, in sharp focus now that Alexander wasn’t focused on Tobias’s strong arms and beautiful clavicle.
The knife was folded, metal hinges glinting under the bone.
How many hours had Alexander spent alone in this room, flipping it open and closed?
Its comforting click was a reminder. It assured him he had a home, a life to return to, if he finally made up for his mistake.
“For the next few days, anyway,” he continued. He stood, and had to force his legs to stop wobbling as he walked naked toward the door. “I’m going to shower. You should go.”
Tobias laughed disbelievingly. “What? Dude, don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“One step forward, two steps back,” Tobias replied. “Come on! You see your parents once and suddenly you’re all…” Tobias’s face went worryingly dull, his gaze dropping to the sheets he’d pushed Alexander into. Then he looked back up with a flimsy smile.
“Come back to bed,” he said. “At least have a nap first. I really tired you out.”
Alexander wanted to reply with a halfhearted jab. Something like you wish, mutt. He truly did enjoy their banter, no matter how insecure it had made him in the early days.
But he knew where that led. And it wasn’t anywhere good. It didn’t matter how much he enjoyed his time with Tobias, or how much he’d come to care for him. He couldn’t indulge this. Not without hurting them both. It was smarter to push him away while he still could.
“You should go,” Alexander repeated, ignoring how tight his chest felt. One step forward, two steps back.
But Alexander had been walking toward home all this time. He hadn’t changed direction. He hadn’t faltered. If Tobias thought otherwise, that was his problem. And if Alexander occasionally entertained the idea of another path…
Well. Nobody had to know.
Tobias’s smile faded. He took a breath, and Alexander steeled himself for another retort.
Then Tobias sagged.
“Fine,” he muttered. “I’ll…get out of your hair.”