Chapter 11
PORTER
I shake Cliff's hand and am surprised when he pulls me in for a hug.
"You're a good man, son. I can tell." The emotion in his voice is unmistakable, and I feel it even more when he adds, "Thank you for this."
We don't need more words between us. I've seen his lists, the notes he's left himself at home, tucked into drawers and books, all the ways he tried to remind himself of what was important. What he was most afraid to forget.
And almost all of those had something to do with Reena.
When he releases me, I give his shoulders a final squeeze. "My training is to never leave a man behind. I'll be seeing you soon, sir. Count on it."
He nods, tears shining in his eyes, and I give him a final nod. I hear the door open and look back as Reena steps into the room.
I back away, giving her space to say her goodbyes. Her shoulders are shaking when he holds her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and then telling her, "Go on now. I need a nap."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Uncle Cliff. I promise."
Holding the door for her, I offer my hand and she takes it, a sad smile on her face. We walk out into the hall together, the sound of the latch catching loud in the quiet. We take a few steps, our fingers intertwined, until she pulls away slowly.
I instantly miss the feeling of her skin against mine.
"Thank you for doing this." She sniffs and looks away, the tracks of tears visible on her cheeks.
"We did it together." I look back to the closed door, appreciating the man behind it, who did everything he could to take care of this woman who matters so much to him.
Reena nods, wrapping her arms around her middle, and I can feel the distance between us growing with every second.
"Do you want me to take you home?" My voice is husky, and in my mind, it's my home I'm envisioning. My cabin, high on the mountain, with the stars spread out above us. I'd love to take her there. Show her what I feel.
"I don't want to go home." She draws in a ragged breath, shaking her head. "Not yet. It will feel too empty."
Hope burrows deep, and I reach out to her. "How about we have dinner, and I'll show you something beautiful?"
Her eyes are still wet when she finally meets my gaze, and she looks confused. "That's nice of you, but it's not necessary, Porter. You did exactly what you promised to do. You can go back to your life now."
I cross the gap, eating up the space in an instant, and reach out to her. "I'm not asking because I have to or because of any agreement we've made. I'm asking because I'd like to have dinner with the amazing woman standing in front of me and show her something I love. Are you up for that?"
I almost expect her to turn me down. There's no reason for her to say yes. But I hope she does. I hope she's willing to take a chance on us.
She's stunned, her mouth open as I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. When I hold my hand out to her again, she takes it and allows me to lead her out of the care facility to my truck.
I boost her up into the passenger seat, stretching the seat belt across her chest and pushing it into place. My arm brushes over the curve of her breast and need erupts in my gut. I want this woman, there's no question. But I want more than just one night. I want every night.
We're quiet as I drive up the mountain, leaving the lights of town behind.
I know this route by heart, and the sun drops lower and lower, until we pull into the drive that leads the way to my cabin.
The clouds are lit with pink and orange, the edges going purple, and I pull to a stop in front of the porch, then hurry around to help Reena out.
She doesn't protest as I hustle her around the cabin and tug her to the overlook spot.
"Have a seat," I say, settling into place on the flat top of the boulder, patting the spot beside me. "We don't want to miss it."
Reena does as I ask, folding herself down until she's sitting right up against me, and I risk putting my arm around her.
Right on time, the sun dips below the horizon and the sky lights up with burning color.
It's as if we're being treated to a fireworks show, a private one just for us.
The wind is gentle in the trees, and we sit there, side by side, watching as the sunset blazes to life and then, as the minutes tick by, is slowly replaced by nightfall.
We don't speak. We don't need to. What we share in that moment is enough. But we can't sit out here forever, and as the air turns chilly, I stand and jump down from the rock, turning and holding my arms up for her.
Reena leans forward, her hands planted on my shoulders, and I grab her waist, lifting her carefully down. Her body slides down against mine and I fight back the groan at how perfect she feels.
When her feet are firmly on the ground once more, I wait to release her, wanting to make sure she's steady before letting go.
"That was beautiful," she says, her voice low, and I'm happy to hear the sadness from earlier is gone.
"I'm glad you were here to see it. It was special."
She nods but doesn't say anything else. I'm relieved when she doesn't pull away and simply allows me to hold her hand, leading her to the cabin where dinner is already laid out for us.
She gasps when we enter, the lantern light inside giving the space a warm glow.
"When did you do all this?" she asks, looking at the table and the meal waiting for us.
"I had some help. Dr. Nance and Gloria took care of getting everything set up while we were with your uncle."
She drops into the chair and shakes her head in disbelief as I add a little bit of everything to her plate.
It's a mix of the different meals we've shared since that first night, and I tried to make sure that everything I've noticed she likes is available for her.
There's no protest when I set the plate in front of her and then help myself to a serving.
"There's dessert, too. Key lime tarts."
"I think you're trying to win me over." She says it like she's trying to tease me, but I hear the hesitation behind the words.
"I hope it's working." As we start eating, I relax into the comfortable connection between us and feel pure gratitude for this woman. She's changed my life in a short amount of time, and I need to find a way to let her know that.
Our conversation is easy as we eat and when we're done with the entrees, I plate two of the tarts and set them in front of her.
It puts a smile on my face to watch her eyes flutter closed with pleasure as she takes a bite.
It also makes me think other things. Like how she'd look if I was the one giving her that kind of pleasure.
"It's lovely here, Porter. Your home, the view. You've built a wonderful place."
"I'm glad you like it." You can stay here forever if you want. I want to say those exact words, but it's too soon and I don't want to scare her away.
She gives me a small smile. "I was dreading going home. It was going to feel too empty, too quiet. This was perfect. Thank you for sharing it with me."
"You're welcome to stay as long as you want. I like having you here."
She pauses, half of the second tart in her hand, and I don't miss the way her eyes dilate or how her gaze lingers on my lips.
Fear makes me want to avoid the conversation, but as I learned on the battlefield, you'll never gain any ground if you don't take a calculated risk.
"I've been here a long time, you know. Keeping to myself mostly.
Civilian life was a tough adjustment. The Ridge Resort hired me to do some of their forestry, lumberjack work when they needed it.
I respect their desire to help veterans like me find work when we transition to civilian life.
I've even worked with one of the charities they sponsor, that trains rescue dogs to be service animals for veterans that need one.
But I've never really let people get close.
" I look down, sudden nerves hitting hard, and take a deep breath.
I need her to know the truth. There's silence and I make myself meet her eyes, so she has no doubt about what I'm telling her. "I didn't let anyone close. Until you."
Her cheeks go pink, and I want to reach for her. My fingers itch with the need to touch her, but I force myself to stay where I am. To give her time.
She watches me, then gives me a small smile. "I feel close to you as well. And I'm so grateful for everything you've done for my uncle. I'm going to miss having him at home, but I know this was the right move for him. And I can still see him every day."
"I'd like to go see him with you as well."
Her lips turn down and she looks away, nervously twisting a strand of hair. "It's all right, Porter. I don't expect you to keep pretending that we're together. But I hope that we can remain friends."
My heart sinks.
"If that's what you want, then we can be friends." Even though I desperately want more, she has to want that, too.
Quiet descends and we sit across from each other. I wish I hadn't spent so long hiding away from people when I finished my final deployment. Maybe if I'd done it differently, I'd know what to say when the woman I've fallen in love with doesn't feel the same way.
Reena's chair scrapes against the floor as she pushes back from the table and stands, crossing over to where I sit and takes my hand. "Porter, are you trying to tell me you want to be more than friends?"
I look up at her, and my chest goes tight at how beautiful she is.
Hair curling around her shoulders, her hourglass form that I know fits so well against me when we kiss.
Her sweet smile and kindness, her determination to do what's best for the people she cares about.
She's everything I never thought I'd find.
"I'm telling you that I've fallen in love with you."
She freezes, her eyes searching mine, and I hold my breath. The words are out now and there's no taking them back.
"Well, that's a relief. Because I'd hate to be feeling this way all alone."