Chapter 9 #2
“I know, right?” Abbi talked over him. “I feel like it’s a lot of pressure. Like I’m the hinge that’s keeping it all together.”
Cash reclined in this chair while the girls had a major bonding moment.
He’d never felt like he was keeping the family together, quite the opposite.
He’d always held the blame for tearing his parents apart.
The adult part of his brain knew his thought process as a kid wasn’t logical, that Dad was to blame—but did it matter?
This conversation wasn’t about him, though. Sissy had someone who understood, which was something he could never give her.
His gaze danced between them as they faced each other, talking with their hands and punctuating sentences with “dude.”
Then Sissy slammed her hand on the table, jerking his attention off Abbi’s twinkling hazel eyes. “Seriously? You haven’t?”
“I’ve been fishing, I just haven’t caught anything.”
Sissy snapped her fingers and circled her hand in the air like she was rounding them up. “Grab the gear, Cash. We need to fix this.”
Abbi giggled as she shucked her shoes. When was the last time she’d had this much fun? And alcohol wasn’t involved. Good, clean entertainment.
She eyed the shore of the lake. Brown, crusty cattails grew in patches. Shriveled weeds and grass lined the shore, along with a few feet of mud.
Clean wasn’t in the cards tonight. She rolled up her pants as far as she could, which was only to her shins.
“The water’s going to be cold.” Cash spread out gear on a gigantic rock that made a perfect table. “You can use the rocks to fish from. That’s what we usually do; it’s why we piled them here.”
“Where in the world did you find huge rocks like this? Did you buy them?”
Sissy chuckled. “We cleaned them out of the fields.”
Different world. Her grandparents had likely done the same thing, but she’d been too young to care about the logistics. She straightened with a grin and studied the shore. “Bet I can get closer like this.”
Hannah was already rolling her jeans. “Great minds think alike. We need to immerse ourselves in the process.”
Abbi tiptoed to Cash. The fresh smell of the lake draped over her.
What would it be like to have full access to a place like this?
She could come out here and sit, not stress about ex-boyfriends or how her parents were reacting to the breakup.
She could perch on a rock and soak up sunbeams, just because.
Watch Cash fish, watch his muscles flex and bunch as he cast. But what she’d anticipate, what she’d study for hours, was that look of calm on his face.
When he relaxed fully, when he seemed at peace, Abbi wanted to draw him.
The real Cash. How many people saw him like that?
“Abbi?”
Oops. Too much staring, not enough listening. “I didn’t hear. Say it again?”
He handed her a fishing pole.
She accepted it, giddiness warming her body. “Is that a marshmallow?”
“Cheap bait for stocked trout.” Hannah bounced to the rock and lifted her rod. “Kinda like cheating, but better than driving fifteen miles one way to the nearest public lake.”
“So this should be a gimme.” She picked her way through the mud. Cold, squishy earth stuck between her toes.
“Go, go, go, go.” Hannah had already chosen her spot and cast.
Cash hauled himself up to the rock and stood to cast. “A gimme doesn’t mean I’m cleaning your fish for you.”
After a few minutes, the end of Abbi’s rod jerked. “I got one, I got one.” She tried jumping up and down as she reeled it in, but her feet were stuck in the mud. She waved her arm for balance, but fell backward.
Hannah laughed, but by the time Abbi’s butt hit the ground, Cash was by her side. He handed the rod off to his sister and held out a hand for Abbi.
“My fish!” Abbi got out between laughs. Ice water seeped through her pants and she was covered in muck.
She clasped Cash’s warm hand. He popped her up, steadying her with another hand at her waist.
“Don’t worry.” He held her. “Hannah’s got it for you to reel in after you stand up.”
He walked her to Hannah’s side. She had laid her own rod down and presented hers.
Abbi brought the fish in with Cash murmuring encouragement in her ear. Her face had to be split from ear to ear with her grin. His soothing voice, his hands on her. A beautiful, wiggling trout hanging off her line.
They hung around to fish for another hour before she started shivering too badly. Abbi would’ve gutted it out, but Hannah’s teeth were chattering and Cash was constantly shooting her and his sister worried looks.
Cleaning the fish was even fun.
“You’ll have to let me cook these for you.” Abbi bit her lip after the words left her mouth. Was that too presumptuous? She wanted to come back, or stay—either way, she didn’t want this to end.
“Of course.” Cash loaded their gear and spread out a towel in the passenger seat of his pickup for her to sit on. “The full experience is what Sissy promised you.”
Hannah crawled into the back after wiping her feet off the best she could. “And it’s what you’re gonna get.”
As they drove back, Abbi looked herself over. A muddy mess, though much of it dried. Ellis would’ve shit himself if she’d walked up to his vehicle in the state she was in. As if he’d be out fishing in less than a boat, a life vest, and white sunblock slathered on his nose.
The towel Cash spread out for her was an old one he must keep on hand, but he only had one and Hannah sat in the back with grimy feet. Abbi’s feet were in worse shape, with nothing between them and the floor mat.
“It’ll dry and vacuum out easy enough,” Cash said. “This truck has seen much worse.”
“I was just marveling that I wouldn’t get away with this at home, and your vehicle is more expensive than anything I’ve been in before.”
“It’s just a pickup. We treat our equipment with respect, but it’s purchased with work in mind. Getting dirty is a part of life.”
“It’s a part of your life. But I was messing around.”
“Oh, we mess around, honey.” Cash’s eyes twinkled with mischief.
“I’m going to ignore the innuendo,” Hannah said, “and agree with Cash. There’s no reason to feel guilty. Live a little.”
Words she used to live by. Live a little. She could pinpoint exactly when she’d quit living. Three weeks after she’d buried her brother, she’d been asked out by her girlfriends. She’d called Ellis, and he’d asked her what her parents would think, pointed out that she should consider their feelings.
Emotion swelled, a mixture Abbi couldn’t identify. Loss, bitterness, regret. She’d have to deal with those, but not tonight.
Hannah tapped her shoulder. “You’re staying longer, right? We can find you something to wear.”
“Oh, I don’t know—”
“Come on. It’s so early yet. Like, not even ten p.m.”
Her mind spun. She wanted to say yes so badly. And not just to be around Cash longer. With Hannah, she’d found the thrill of life she’d been missing.
“Oh, wait. Cash?” Hannah cocked her head to the side. “I think I heard her say yes. Did you hear her say yes?”
Abbi giggled and Cash grinned. She recognized the signs.
Big brother couldn’t say no to little sister.
How many times had Perry caved to her shenanigans?
He might have regretted it after they’d been busted by their parents, like when Abbi was ten and had filled Mom’s expensive vases with sand and earth worms.
“Do you mind?” she asked Cash.
“Ain’t nothing better than a midnight fish fry, honey.”
Abbi was breathless. She fanned herself and gasped in lungfuls of air. She sank into the couch as her last fit of laughter died down. Her stomach was ready to burst from all the food she’d eaten in the last hour and the empty cans of beer littered in front of her.
They were in the basement. Cash had the fireplace going, but Abbi would’ve been warm enough in his old, gray army sweatshirt and flannel bottoms borrowed from his sister. Her feet were bare, but toasty, and shoved under the couch cushions, where Cash’s butt warmed them.
Hannah abruptly rose and stretched. “I have a meeting with the recruiter tomorrow, and since it’s one in the morning, I’m getting my ass to bed.”
Cash opened his mouth, but Hannah flounced up the stairs, leaving them alone. Abbi considered her environment. She was sitting alone with him, with her feet under his ass. The night was ending on a high note.
“Well, then,” he said and patted her leg. “It’s going to be an early morning. Mom always cleans up after herself, so the room she used is ready to go for you.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Disappointment curdled in her belly. What had she expected?
A whole lot more. She’d just spent hours bonding with him and his sister and he’d taught her how to cook a damn good fillet.
He stood and held out a hand for her. She unfolded herself and accepted it.
But when she rose, he didn’t move. And she was close. A subtle smell of lake and savory seasonings clung to him. A little smudge of flour from breading the fish clung to his black T-shirt.
Her hand was still in his. She licked her lips and gazed up at him.
Heat filled his eyes, but he didn’t make a move.
Her attention dropped to his lips. He was a good kisser. She liked that about him. She liked a lot about him. Releasing his hand, she rested hers on his shoulders.
“I’m not touching you tonight, Abbi,” he said softly.
Startled, she met his gaze. “Why not?”
She had to ask why a guy didn’t want her. Humiliation started a slow burn in her cheeks.
His gaze swept the empty drink cans around them. He dropped his head to whisper in her ear. “Because the next time we have sex, you’re going to remember every second.”
Hot desire replaced embarrassment. She wanted that, too.
So many retorts ran through her head, but she didn’t know what to say.
Finally, she playfully pushed him away. “You should’ve told me earlier. Now we both have to wait.”
Shooting him her most sultry smile, she sauntered up the stairs.