Prologue #2
“You see?” Lucifer said softly, like I’d said the thoughts out loud.
I swallowed hard. “Can you… read minds?” I whispered, in case it was a secret.
Grandfather smiled like I’d pleased him.
“I can hear any thought, see any action that aligns with my purpose, Gall. But that’s a conversation for another day,” he said with a wink.
“I brought you here because even the man you call Papa, who means well and loves you, has sadly misinformed you, Gall. You were never made for humility. You were never made to be the servant.”
“I wasn’t?” Papa said all leaders were servants, too.
“No. Gall. My blood runs in your veins. You were born for nothing except to rule.”
Fear twisted my guts. Didn’t he know I was different? I wasn’t good at leading other people, but I didn’t want to upset my grandfather when he said he was proud of me. I wasn’t sure—
Lucifer smiled again. He seemed to do that a lot. “Your life is about to change a great deal, Gall,” he said quietly. “All for the better. I promise. So, don’t be scared. I’ll help you.”
“But… Istral—”
“She’s here. We brought her here for you, because every king needs a queen and she is clearly yours.”
I frowned, and wanted to curse. I hated it when someone said things out loud that I didn’t understand. Sometimes I could get it. But it took longer. If they wouldn’t keep talking about it, I couldn’t grasp it, and…
Lucifer didn’t seem annoyed, though. He kept smiling, and touched my arm again.
“So humble, Son. But there’s no need to be afraid. That’s why I’m here: To show you the truth. You are the one who was born to be king. And I am going to make certain that everyone—including your Papa—knows it.”
“But—”
“Gall, you aren’t just the king’s bastard. You’re his son. You’re my grandson—and my power is the strongest in this world.”
“Except God’s,” I added for him, because we all knew—
“Oh, Gall,” Grandfather sighed, still smiling. “God abandoned you all long ago.” I blinked, because I knew I should argue. But he leaned closer. “If God has the power here, where is he?”
I swallowed hard. “He’s everywhere.”
Grandfather’s lips curled higher on one side and his brows rose. “Yes, but where?” He looked left and right, into the dark spaces beyond the light behind me. “If God’s so powerful and so good, and I’m so wrong, where is he? Why isn’t he helping you?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Something in my chest got tight.
Lucifer tipped his head. “I don’t see him. Do you?”
“No, but…” I swallowed again.
Lucifer—Grandfather—smiled again. “I’m here—you can touch me and see me. Ask me anything, I’ll answer. If you want proof, I’ll give it. I don’t hide in the shifting shadows, under the guise of noble intention.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he said it in the same voice Papa used for the Nephilim who raped women, and that didn’t seem right. “I, um… I’m not sure—”
“It’s okay, Gall. Whatever you want to ask, just ask me. I won’t get angry.”
“What’s a guise?” I asked, embarrassed.
He smiled even broader. “A guise is pretending to be something people want to believe. In this case, it’s God telling people like you something to make himself sound good—even when it’s not really true.
” He rocked back on his heels, straightening, gesturing towards the walls and the dark.
“Look around you, Gall—if I was truly the worst kind of evil, wouldn’t God simply have killed me by now?
He has the power to do so, yet he hasn’t. So, what does that tell you?”
I frowned.
He leaned in close again, his voice quiet, but excited. “I know these things are hard for you—”
My stomach dropped.
“—but that’s why I’ve come to help. I know you, and I can make you stronger. Much, much stronger. You and Istral. Both of you, together.”
I shook out my hands because my skin tingled. My head was growing full. I was glad it was quiet and dark here. There were too many things I didn’t understand, and I needed quiet to think.
Lucifer watched me for a moment, then straightened again, folding his arms. My nerves spiked—was he angry after all? But when he talked, his voice wasn’t sharp.
“Gall, I want you to think back. Your father, your true father—my son, Gault—was king of the Nephilim. The most powerful king they’ve seen in centuries. Because he was mine. Now, he’s gone, but you’re here to take his crown.”
“But, Papa is king!” I blurted.
Lucifer’s eyes flashed. “Your true father is dead. That’s your fault, Gall.”
I wanted to shrink into the floor with my shame, memories of my father’s thick body, twitching. The hollow coughs and—
I flinched. “Father was wrong. He did lots of wrong things.” Like taking women and hurting men. And ignoring me.
Lucifer sighed. “You’re going to discover that it’s impossible to lead others without doing wrong things. But that’s okay, as long as you do good to make up for it. It’s all about balance, Gall—do you do more good than bad?”
“I… Yes, I think so. But…”
“No buts, Gall. This life is about balance—the balance of light and dark. Good and evil. Weight and relief. Many, many call me evil, but I’m not.
I’m powerful. And power always looks evil to anyone weaker.
That’s because sometimes when you’re in power you have to say no, or deny the requests of others.
Or even defeat them. Everyone believes the person who can tell them “no” is evil. Think about that.”
I tried. But before I could find my own thoughts, he started talking again.
“When you were little, your Papa said no to eating sweets at night and it hurt, didn’t it, Gall?”
“Yes, but—”
“When you were older, Papa said no to drinking too much, or having sex?”
“Only because the women should want—”
“You understand that Melek didn’t say no to be bad, even if it felt like it hurt at the time?” Lucifer said intently, staring at me. “You can see that, can’t you?”
“Yes!” I said, relieved, because I knew that was the right answer for now.
“There have also been times that your Papa has been wrong. Hasn’t there?”
I swallowed, but nodded. “Yes, but he had reasons—”
“Oh really? He lied to you, he took a woman, and now he’s trying to take your throne.”
I squirmed in my seat. “It’s not my—”
“Yes, Gall, it is.” He didn’t raise his voice, but there was a sharp edge that made my stomach tight.
I clenched my shaking hands to fists on my thighs. “No, it’s not. I’m not… I’m not smart enough. Or… or strong enough to be king. Papa always said—and he’s right—he always said, a Nephilim king has to be ruthless, and strong, and fierce. I am not fierce!” I hated it, but it was true.
I braced for the blow because I’d argued with him, but to my surprise, Lucifer smiled. “You seemed pretty fucking fierce to me when you shoved that spear through your father’s chest.”
My body sizzled with feelings that didn’t match—there was pride in his voice. His smile said he was pleased. Maybe even proud.
But I’d murdered my father and… and even though it was right, because he was going to hurt Yilan and Papa, it didn’t feel good. It felt sick. I could hear the gurgling—
“You are fierce when you want to be, Gall. What’s more, you have me. You don’t have to be smart. I’m smart enough for both of us. Let me be smart for you. You just have to let me help you. Let me make it clear to you. Give you the words.”
I pushed to my feet because my skin felt too tight. I needed to move. “But you… you’re—”
“You were going to say evil… right? Your Papa told you that I’m evil because I defied the Creator.
But he lies, Gall. Remember that. He leaves things out.
He doesn’t trust you with the whole story.
But I do,” he added intently. “I will tell you everything. He was right that I defied the Creator, but did he tell you the part where I freed you? Where it was my intelligence, my power, that set you free from the shackles the Creator placed on you? All his rules, all his petty laws. All the shall nots, and warnings—who was the one who revealed the control and oppression of his system? Have you forgotten who I am, Gall?”
“You’re Lucifer,” I breathed. The highest of the Fallen Angels. The devil. The one who—
“But who am I?”
I frowned, because I thought I just answered that.
Lucifer stepped right up to my toes, his shiny-gold eyes locked on mine.
“Say it! What am I, Gall? Where did I come from?”
“You’re an angel.”
“Gall, I’m your father’s father. My blood runs in your veins.
And my power as well. The Creator made me, and I made you.
If I was evil, why would he give me all the power in this world?
He made me king over you and your enemies, and your brothers—everyone.
And every king who walks this world, walks by my choice.
Why would God let me do that if I was so bad? ”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I scrambled to think, tried to figure it out. But the thoughts kept sweeping away and—
“I know that’s a new idea for you,” he said quietly. “We can keep talking about it until you understand. But, trust me, this will be great. I promise. Now, come. Your queen has been asleep for some time, and she needs you.”
I gasped when a picture of Istral appeared in my mind, laying in a bed looking really beautiful. But there was a whole lot of people around her—Nephilim and servants. How did he do that? And why were those people there? If Istral woke up with all those strangers, she was going to be terrified.
“You can make her feel safe again, Gall.” Grandpa’s voice was really soft and nice. “She needs you. You make her feel safe. She is just like your people. They all need you.”
Then he tipped his head, urging me to follow him as he walked slowly towards the shadow at the end of the room, where he’d come in the door. As I moved, something tugged against my thighs and I looked down, frowning.
I was wearing weird clothes—loose trousers made of linen, with a long, long shirt over the top. The shirt had no buttons. It fell all the way down to my knees, embroidered in glittering, gold thread.
I’d never seen anything so pretty on a man, except the king.
My father… “How did I get—”
“Come, Gall. I’ll explain the details later, I promise. Let’s go to Istral and wake her. Reunite the king with his queen.” Then he took my hand and tugged me forward—and something impossible happened.
The moment his hand touched mine, my mind worked.
I sucked in a breath and froze, trembling. Not with fear, but with excitement. I understood.
My father was a king.
I was his prince.
His death had always been the plan—and Lucifer was the one who’d whispered that in my ear that night, who urged me forward with my spear. Told me to be brave and when I balked, he’d touched my mind so I could see: The king needed to die, because I was next. And I was better than him.
I would be kinder to the servants, and wouldn’t take from the women.
I was strong enough to win battles, but gentle enough to care for the soldiers.
I wanted peace.
I had a mate, and would have babies with her, more princes to carry the line, and make certain the world was safe even after my death. Together, we’d—
The pressure on my hand released, and it all drained away like water down a hole.
Grandfather smiled. “See? I’m smart enough for both of us.”
I blinked, gasping. “What—”
“Come on. Come with me. Let’s get your precious mate.”
“But, how did you—”
“I told you… I’m smart enough for both of us,” Lucifer smiled. Then he glanced at me over his shoulder as he began to walk away. “Stick with me and you’ll never be confused again.”
My heart pounded loudly in my ears, but not with fear. With hope. Those images were paler now, but they were still there—the strength. The purpose. The way I could be better…
“Come, Gall. Time grows short. We have nations to which we must prove your power, and a kingdom to run.”
He clapped his hands.
My mouth was open. Slack. My head scrambled again. What had happened to that clarity? That certainty? That—
“Gall? Are you coming? Istral is very close.”
I blinked again, then I hurried after him when he disappeared into the dark.
He chuckled as I trotted to catch up, taking hold of my sleeve and pulling me to his side. “Good choice, Son. I’m proud of you.”
I wasn’t sure which choice he meant, but I wanted to see Istral, so I just nodded.
When he paused in the dark, I halted at his side.
There was a click, then a creak, then light appeared, widening as he opened the door and his pleased smile was revealed.
He motioned me forward. And when I squinted into the bright light, I caught sight of Istral sitting up in a wide bed.
There were lots of people around her—the same ones I’d seen a few minutes earlier.
“Istral!”
She looked up, frightened—until she saw me. Then her face went bright and happy. She jumped out of the bed, running to meet me.
I rushed to her, sweeping her up in a big hug as she buried her face in my neck, and we both clung—only I had to be careful I didn’t crush her.
But even after we’d squeezed and squeezed, I didn’t want to let her go. I guess she didn’t either, because she kept holding me really tight. And she cried.
I stroked her hair because she liked that a lot, and waited until she didn’t have tears anymore.
She kept whispering my name.
“Are you safe?” I asked her, placing her back on her feet and standing up straight, searching her eyes. I huffed with relief when she nodded, but I still didn’t let her go. I didn’t ever want to stop touching her. Especially if she was sad.
“I’m okay,” she whispered.
“Are you hurt?”
She shook her head, but when she looked up at me, her beautiful eyes were scared.
“I don’t know these people, Gall. Who are they?”
“He’s my grandfather,” I said, pointing at Lucifer, really glad that I had an answer for her first question.
“Don’t worry, though. I don’t know everything, but…
I think… I think it’s going to be okay. And I’ll keep you safe.
No matter what. So, don’t worry. Just stay with me.
As long as we’re together, we’ll be fine. ”
Her eyes didn’t stop being afraid. But I could feel her heart pounding and getting big with love, too.
So, I nodded and petted her hair some more. She looked around, then back to me, her pretty brows pinched over her nose.
“But, Gall… where’s Yilan? And Melek, and—”
Lucifer—grandfather—cleared his throat. I met his eyes and some of that clarity returned. My fear fell away. I smiled as big as I could make it because my thoughts were clear.
“Don’t worry,” I whispered back to her, still petting her hair, my heart pumping with joy. “I understand all of it!”
“Understand what?” she whispered.
I touched her face. “I know why we’re here. And it’s going to be fucking fantastic, Istral. I’ll make you so proud. Just watch.”