Chapter 29 Bend Your Will
~ JANN ~
“What do you mean, Gall’s going away?”
Lucifer stood over a buffet at the side of the Council Chambers, pouring himself a goblet of something. He didn’t turn at my question.
“I go to prepare the King for what is needed to face what comes,” he said quietly.
It wasn’t uncommon for Lucifer to keep his cards close to his chest, so I wasn’t immediately nervous. Until the Fallen turned, leaned back against the buffet as he brought the goblet to his lips, and stared at me over the rim of it while he drank. Deeply.
I waited, holding his gaze, keeping my expression as indifferent as possible. He was a trickster and a manipulator, and at times would challenge or pretend offense simply to see if a weak character would confess.
When he’d taken his drink, he set it aside, then looked at me again. “Why do you ask, Jann?”
I frowned like I was confused. “Because if you won’t be here, and I have duties, I’d like to understand—and prepare others with… whatever story you want them to believe. No one is going to sit well with Gall just disappearing. Not even the Council.”
“You leave the Council to me.”
“Of course, but—”
“There is no but, Jannus. I’m telling you, we’ll be gone for a few days. And on our return, Gall will have announcements for all of you. One in particular, I believe you’ll enjoy.”
I had to work not to grind my teeth. “Announcements for what? Solstice? Surely even Gall knows the rituals? When will you return? Will you use the caverns here, or stay away for the ceremonies?”
Lucifer’s eyes flashed. “Does it matter? What pressing responsibilities do you have beyond serving your king at his whim?”
I let my gaze turn flat. “I have personal matters to attend to—if time allows,” I conceded.
Lucifer tipped his head. “What personal matters would you think to hide from me?”
The muscles at the back of my neck twisted tighter. “I had hoped to take my woman away, and attempt to break the curse.”
The bastard smiled. “That curse still worries you?”
“It has always worried me.” He pretended not to know that, yet he’d dangled it over my head at various times throughout my life.
Lucifer’s smile broadened, and he pushed off the buffet to come stand over my chair. “I’ve told you before, I could break it for you.”
That was a first. I looked at him warily. “How?”
He snorted. “It’s a dark curse, Jann. Hexed on a leader by a bitter witch using the power of her own death to seal it. A very tricky curse to break for a mortal, but I am immortal, and the king of the powers of this world—including death. I can simply choose to end it.”
I stared at him. He’d never offered that before, or even implied that he might. It was always something he treated as a joke—a burden for me to carry.
Lucifer leaned over me, dropping his voice, his eyes gleaming and locked on mine.
“Not only can I break the curse, but I can remove the fingers of it that curl into your life in ways even you don’t recognize.
” His eyes blazed. “I can make you stronger, and more vital. I hold the reins of death in my hands—and not just yours. I can make certain she lives through the birth. And the babe, too. It’s all mine, Jann.
Every last piece—including your gasping little life.
I can give you the safety you crave, the future you’d die to protect. I can do that. Me. Only me.”
I swallowed and let my voice grow hoarse. “Then why wouldn’t you have done it before? Haven’t I proven myself?”
Lucifer tipped his head in that odd mannerism he had, like a bird looking at a worm. His voice remained warm, though quiet. So, it took a moment to truly take in the darkness of what he said.
“You humans—or part humans in your case—are so… impermanent. So fickle. Your hearts and minds change on a whim.” He spoke like a parent exasperated with a child.
“My mind has never changed on this. I’ve wanted free of this dark collar since the day I learned it existed.”
Lucifer’s eyes glinted like the blade of a knife flashing. “I’ve lived more lives than you can count, Jann, and I have learned that with your kind it’s better to leave the leash loose, but tug it every now and again, just to remind you that it exists.
“Now, if you want the curse broken, you can do your little ritual and hope—it might work.” He shrugged, as I would to a child who’d proposed something preposterous. “Or… I can make you free.”
“Then do it,” I said darkly.
Lucifer’s smile grew smug. “Give me what I want, and I will.”
“What? What have you asked, that I haven’t already given?”
To the eye, Lucifer looked leaner than me—it gave the illusion that he was much taller.
But in truth, he only looked down a couple of inches on me.
Yet, when he leaned down, hands locked on my forearms, he pinned me into the chair as surely as chains.
His eyes blazed with unholy light, and his smile was wicked.
“Give me the last pieces of your soul that remain loyal to her and your friends—those shrouded corners of your heart that don’t respond to my call. Offer them up, and you may ask anything of me, and I’ll give it.”
I knew I couldn’t back down. Couldn’t look away. Couldn’t let him scare me—but inside, I quivered at that immortal, hungry stare.
“No part of me retreats when you call,” I muttered. “I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me. I’ve made myself your slave, I’ve lied to everyone I ever cared about, and I’ve fought for—
“Surrender.”
“Excuse me?”
Lucifer leaned in until those horrendous eyes filled my view. “Surrender, Jann. Submit. Bend your will. Make me king of your soul, and I will make your soul sing.”
I squirmed. “You already are king… aren’t you? You can sing of Gall’s power all you want, I’m not stupid. I see that the true authority is yours, whether the others do or not. So… my liege, what lack remains?”
Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re clever, Jann.
Among mortals, you are. But don’t let yourself believe you’ll ever outsmart me.
I am Lucifer. I stood in defiance, before God Himself.
You think I need anything from you, to succeed in this world?
You think you have any power that would outstrip mine? ”
“No, I don’t, which is why the request confuses me. What is it you need from me, that you don’t already have? What can I give that you don’t already possess?”
His fingers on my arms began to burn. “Is it possible my leashed dog truly doesn’t yet understand my authority?
” he asked quietly. Then he lifted one hand to stroke the side of my face with a single finger, right alongside my eye.
“The thing you’ll learn the more powerful you become, is that gold only brings wealth.
However wealth, in its fullness, will buy you any flesh you choose.
And thus, the world opens to you like an oyster.
“Glut yourself on its pearls, Jann. Reap the rewards of your work. Then, when you’re stuffed full, and yet somehow left hollow, look me in the eye and ask me that question again. Because you’ll know the answer to your soul.”
Then, he patted my cheek, and all fire went out of him. He stepped back, let me go, and walked casually back to his drink at the side of the room. “If you must learn by mistake, go about it quickly, because I weary of teaching you… and your mate will soon grow heavy with the life of your babe.”
I couldn’t pinpoint why the hair on the back of my neck stood up, until Lucifer took another sip from his goblet, then turned to face me again, smiling.
“I could take that from you as well,” he said with casual grace.
“From both of you. Like that.” He snapped the fingers of his free hand, his eyes avid on mine. “By no greater effort than my will.”
I was stunned to silence, my every worst nightmare screaming to life in my head—either by my own imagination, or because he inserted the visions.
I didn’t know which it was, but in the few silent seconds, I watched Diadre die, bloodied and in pain, bleeding out, screaming, and clutching the limp body of our child—
“Your will is your greatest asset, Jann. Your greatest power. Even God wants it. Remember that.”
“I—”
He took one more sip from that cup then disappeared, leaving me sitting there, still frozen with fear, my heart pounding.
What the fuck?
What. The actual. Fuck?!
I don’t know how long I sat there, head spinning and heart threatening to slam through my ribs. But at some point, I pushed to my feet and staggered into the palace halls.
I could see no way out. No way through. No other choice than to listen.
There was nowhere we could run that Lucifer couldn’t find us—I’d already seen that in the course of my life.
Though there’d been months, even years, where he never appeared, every time I’d started to think I’d left his reach, or slipped below his notice, he would reappear.
He wasn’t bound by a physical body, and there was nothing we could do to end his reign.
Literally nothing. He was immortal. I wasn’t even sure he bled. If he did, it wasn’t lifeblood.
That vision of my mate, torn and bleeding, dying, rose in my head again, and I panicked.
When I made it to my chambers, Caelan wasn’t there, which was a relief. I stumbled into the bedchamber where Diadre lay sleeping, and dropped into the chair, head in my shaking hands.
I’d tried to be quiet, but she awoke. Her voice was sleepy.
“Jann? Jann, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, but she hurried out of the bed and to my side, gripping my arm just as Lucifer had—yet nothing froze my limbs in place.
“Jann! Talk to me, please!”
I shook my head, but gathered her into my lap, curling her up and holding her, burying my face in her neck, and breathing in the scent of her.
I trembled, and she grabbed for me. “Jann, you’re scaring me. What’s happened? Has someone been hurt? Is it—”
I put my palm to her belly, her belly that was so small my hand virtually spanned it. I choked back a lump that rose in my throat, swallowed it so hard it hurt going down.
“Jann?!” Diadre cupped my face and hugged my head, whispering comforts, reassurances, begging me to speak. And I tried. But what could I say?
Eventually, I croaked the few words I was capable of forming. “Lucifer has… told me he can break the curse. Then he threatened to kill you both if I don’t surrender everything.”
Diadre went very, very still in my arms.
“And…” I rasped. “I’m afraid I’ll do it.” I lifted my head the moment the words were out, terrified she’d shrink from me.
Instead of judgment or fear, all I found in her big round eyes was grief. “Jann, no. No. You won’t. You can’t—”
“I know how it is to grow up without a father,” I hissed. “I know what happens to a mother, left with no Neph male to protect her from the others.” I glared, hissing, raging. But she didn’t flinch. She only looked more sad. “I know what will happen, Dee—to you.”
“Melek—”
“It doesn’t matter how many good, honest people resist. Lucifer will remain.
He cannot be removed. And far, far too many people would follow the Fallen willingly.
” I couldn’t look away from her, pleading with my eyes for her to understand.
To hear my heart. “Melek could lead the land’s greatest force against the Nephilim and win, and I will still wake in a cold sweat with Lucifer standing over my bed, because he cannot be killed. ”
“That’s not… it can’t be that—”
“Trapped. Enslaved. You curse me and my people for slaving, Dee, but what about him? My only choices are to accept death, and leave my family utterly alone—or bring death to others.”
Her eyes widened. “Has he told you to kill—”
“No,” I mumbled bitterly. “But it’s only a matter of time.
” I didn’t pretend to myself that truly giving over to Lucifer—as I suspected Gall had—would be anything less than death and murder.
And for me, Lucifer’s first target would be Melek.
He knew how close we were. Knew I had access to him.
Perhaps I now knew why Lucifer had pursued and persuaded me since my childhood?
Because I was a male that others admired, and were likely to follow.
Did he know I’d led them back to Melek?
Melek, the only Neph who stood in defiance of Lucifer, as surely as Lucifer had screamed rebellion against God.
Even if every last Neph was killed except me, Lucifer would still want me. Because it was his way. And he would never die, so could never be sated.
He’d offered what he called freedom, and it made me sick. I fell for that line when I was young. Believed it. Admired the Fallen. Followed him willingly.
It changed nothing.
It brought nothing to my life except greater fear, and the sense of a sword always hovering over my head.
“Jann, please… What’s going on? How did you—”
A knock on the door shot me out of the chair like an arrow from the bow, sweeping Diadre behind me, I crept towards the sitting room and the door, where the knock sounded again.
Was this it? The beginning? Lucifer himself? Or one of his agents? Someone intended to accept my allegiance, or kill me if I refused?
“Who’s there?” I grunted, one hand on the doorhandle, the other gripping the blade at my hip.
“I understand you have a curse that needs breaking?” It was Hever’s crumbling rot of a voice.
I didn’t know whether to be relieved, or dismayed. But in the end, it didn’t matter. With Diadre at my back, I turned the handle and opened it a crack, to find Hever standing on the other side, hood over his head, hiding his face in shadow, except for those glowing eyes.
“I’m glad you’re both here. I think it’s time we all had a chat.”
Defeated and disheartened, I opened the door wider and stood back, but kept one arm back to corral Diadre behind me, so he had to get through me to reach her.
Hever floated into the room and closed the door, then stood just in front of it facing us.
“Not everything that seems dark, is,” he rasped, eyes flicking back and forth between me and Diadre, who’d leaned around my side. “Not everything that you would choose is good for you.” When neither of us responded, he sighed. “Shall we sit? We may be a while.”