Chapter 39 Remember
SOUNDTRACK: Heavy is the Crown by Arcane, Mike Shinoda, and Emily Armstrong
~ JANN ~
I cursed when the blade drew along my upper arm, but the extra half-second Melek used to extend gave me space to bring my shortblade up from my hip, and almost take him in the ribs.
Gall gasped as Melek barely evaded my strike.
“Don’t worry, Sire,” I huffed, as Melek and I both dropped back to circle, never taking eyes from each other. “I’ve always held back with him so he wouldn’t know my true strengths. He’s going to discover he doesn’t know me nearly as well as he thinks he does,” I said through my teeth.
Melek’s eyes glittered, but he held the spear in both hands, steady. Thank God he didn’t have two.
Gall stood to the side of the room, eyes wide, watching both of us.
“Go find your mate, Gall. Make sure she’s safe. I’ll handle this.”
“Yes! Istral. I’ll get her!” Gall panted, racing for the bedchamber doors.
The moment he moved, Melek grunted and I leaped forward. Our spears met in whirling blurs, clanging and clacking until Gall had plowed through those double bedchamber doors, then Melek bared his teeth and shoved me back so we parted again.
Then, as Gall disappeared inside the next room, Melek sagged. “Thank God. I don’t know what Lucifer did to get me back here, but my head will not clear. And the arm that hound bit is fucking killing me—”
He cut off, as I flipped the point of my spear up, placing the point right at his throat, in the soft, unprotected skin there. It would take only a shove of inches to plant that through his throat and right into his skull.
Melek froze.
Our eyes locked.
His hands tightened on his spear, but we both knew the moment he moved, I could thrust that spear into his brain faster than he could place his blade anywhere life-threatening on me.
Neither of us spoke at first. Melek’s eyes narrowed, and we stared at each other.
“I just realized,” he whispered.
“What?” I bit the word off, cold.
“Your eyes are still yellow.”
I smiled, in the way I’d seen Lucifer do it. “Yours are still green. I caught the relief in your gaze when you relaxed, Melek. Perhaps your wounds hurt a little more than you wanted to admit? Please, feel free to share any weakness I can exploit.”
My best friend glared, his teeth gritted. But he couldn’t drop his chin, or my spear would pierce his throat. “What the fuck, Jann?”
“I’ve been tasked with removing you from this earth, if Gall isn’t strong enough, and I will do it, Melek. I can do it.”
His gaze grew wary. “What happened? What’s Lucifer told you? I wasn’t lying, I’ve figured out that bastard’s weakness—”
I shook my head. As much as it sickened me, I wouldn’t be thwarted. “I only waited until Gall and others were gone, because I had no desire to humble you further. The palace drips with blood already. I’m not greedy for it.”
“What the fuck, Jann?! What’s he holding against you? You know it’s a trick. He can’t make you—”
I stepped in and nudged that spearhead a fingernail higher. Melek’s chin rose and he went still, eyes still gleaming and locked on mine. “Lucifer can do whatever the fuck he wants,” I snarled. “That’s the problem.”
“Jann, listen to me. I’ve figured it out. I can prove it to you. I’ve seen it—”
“You shut your fucking mouth or I will silence you,” I growled, hating the darkness and death that was about to enter the world by my hand, but I saw no other recourse.
There was only one way through this that kept my family intact for whatever time we had left.
When Melek tried to argue, I snarled at him, and hissed graphic, unflinching pictures of what I’d already seen.
The images Lucifer placed in my head to warn me—my mate bleeding out, losing our child.
My only son. The only son I’d ever have, because once he was born, the countdown on my curse started ticking.
“Jann… brother… I’ve seen those things too—but that’s his weapon. It’s your fear. Don’t you see?!”
“I take no joy in this, Melek. Stop trying to—”
“Hear me, for fuck’s sake, man! Have you ever seen Lucifer actually kill a person? Anyone?”
I hesitated.
Melek’s eyes grew intense. “I never put it all together—what resist really meant—but I’m getting it now.
It’s bigger than just disagreeing with him.
It’s not listening. Not believing a word that comes from his mouth.
Not inviting him in by agreeing with anything that comes from him.
Because if we don’t believe him, he’s powerless!
He’s immortal, Jann. Not mortal. His power isn’t in this world.
It’s not in the flesh and blood. It’s to make us fear.
He feeds on it. It strengthens him—the more afraid we are, the more those around us fear as well.
Think about it. He causes pain, makes threats, tempts, seduces, taunts, and promises death…
but any time someone dies, it’s always at the hands of someone who’s listening to that fucker! ”
I blinked, shaking my head, scrambling to remember—I was sure I’d seen more than one… Nephilim who had fallen at Lucifer’s hand…
Hadn’t I?
Melek, obviously following the train of my thoughts, shook his head. “I know what he’s got on you, Jann. I get it. But don’t you see—those words, that fear, that’s the real power he holds. If you refuse it. If you reject him—resist—he has no power over you.”
I swallowed hard, as a tiny kernel of hope bloomed in my chest. I stifled it immediately. Because I remembered.
Melek must have seen that light in my eyes, because he spoke faster, keeping his chin high so that blade wouldn’t cut his throat. His gaze never left mine—and his words, so sure and full, everything I’d ever wanted to hear, mingled with the memories of very real moments I’d faced down evil…
“Jann… he is a creature of the night, of the supernatural, the spiritual realm. His battle is for the heart and mind. I never saw it before—none of us did. But we see it now. He can’t win if we resist. If all of us tell him no—”
Lucifer gripping my throat, his eyes glowing with that unholy light. His voice… so cool, so unflustered… yet, describing the most horrific events in minute detail…
“—Yilan’s out there clearing the path. Taking the palace with our men.
All men with yellow eyes just months ago.
Now they resist. They stand together. There are Centaurs and humans and Nephilim fighting together.
Fuck, even Hever’s helping. That’s what emerges when fear isn’t driving every decision—a world without Lucifer and his mindfuck. ”
“It doesn’t matter who fears him,” I said hoarsely. “It matters what he’s capable of.”
“Unless you fear him, he’s not capable of anything,” Melek hissed, his conviction rock-solid.
I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to be right. I’d never wanted to be a Golden Eyes. He knew that. So did Lucifer.
But Lucifer also knew what I had wanted.
“You can have it all, Jann… Or none of it. There’s no middle ground for you. Bring me the head of Melek Handras and give his power to Gall, and with that gain everything you have ever wanted. Or don’t… and lose it all.”
“Jann—”
“Melek… I can’t risk it. He’s going to take Diadre—and our son—”
“Jann, no!”
I gasped, turning on my heel as Diadre materialized from behind me, her face a mask of horror—and the bond flooded with love.
…Images flickered in my mind, pictures of Lucifer’s intentions, solidified, until I could see nothing else—my mate torn and battered, tortured and bleeding.
My son, cut out of her body and held in the dripping hand of a bloodthirsty Lucifer, far too soon.
That tiny, perfectly formed, but ill-equipped body, unable to take even his first breath as he trembled in the palm of the most powerful being in existence…
Lucifer. Smiling at me as he closed his fist and crushed my son—
“NO!” I whirled back to Melek, keeping the end of my spear pointed at him as he backed up a step. He froze when I turned on him. “I’m not listening to your theories. I won’t gamble my family on a hunch.”
Melek grunted. “It’s not a fucking hunch.”
“You have ideas and thoughts, but no proof—”
“Why hasn’t he killed me… ever? He’s been in my presence a dozen times.
If his power is so great, why hasn’t he done more than cause me pain?
I’ll tell you why, because he can’t. The pain he has inflicted has only come when I let myself fear.
The moment I stood firm, the moment I refused him, he disappeared.
Every time. When he had me, broken and gasping at his feet, did he kill me then?
No. He turned to Gall and insisted Gall do it.
Gall, Jann. Why? Because he knows Gall was darkened by the death of Gault, and if he can get him to kill me too, Gall’s heart will be burned out of his chest.”
“You don’t know that—”
“I do—and you do too. You’re just too fucking terrified to admit it.”
I snarled at him. “I’ve carried you through this. You wouldn’t even be here without me!”
“That’s my point—we’re in this together. If we both resist him—if our mates resist him too—if we all stand and bring anyone with us who’s willing to listen—”
“Always the fucking Commander, with your speeches and your inspiration. But guess who bleeds and dies when the darkness descends, Melek? Guess who pays the price for your ideas if you’re wrong?”
His face went flat. Eyes narrowed. I nudged him with that spear again and he flinched, but his teeth remained gritted. “You’re my brother. I’m not going to kill you—”
“Enough of the fucking noble bullshit, Melek! I’m done with—”
“Diadre! NO!!!” Melek roared, his eyes snapping over my shoulder to the space behind me where my mate had appeared.
Instinctively, I whirled, but Diadre was on her hands and knees, weeping, fingers clawed into the carpet. She hadn’t even—
The spear whistled in the air, flipping up to crack against my knuckles, and sending a numbing jolt all the way to my shoulder.
I cursed and dove, hugging my spear to my chest as I rolled to one knee, facing Melek again—and whipped the handle up just quickly enough to block what would have been a stunning blow to my temple.
For a moment, my brother leaned all his weight on our crossed spears. Teeth bared and jaw clenched, I growled, then used every ounce of my strength to push up from the floor and away.
When I whipped the spear back in the opposite direction and thrust, Melek yielded enough to defend, pushing my blade to the side as he twisted and returned, spear at the ready, facing me.
We both went still, panting, glaring.
Then Melek stared, with an intensity I hadn’t seen since our days on the battlefield. I expected a rousing speech. Instead, he hefted his spear in his hand, then met my eyes before hurling it off to the side so that the head was buried in the wall with a thunk, the handle wobbling with the force.
Stunned, I turned back to gape at him. “Are you insane? Melek, I’m going to kill you!”
Melek shook his head slowly. “I know your heart is good, Jann,” he said in a low voice.
“I know those eyes are not the color of your soul. You saw what happened with that fucking hound. We have souls—we can be redeemed,” he said intently.
“It’s only that lying Fallen fuck who tells us otherwise. It doesn’t have to be this way.”
I stared at him, then down at the weapon in my hands, then back to him.
Melek waited, palms open. But I knew that stance.
He waited for my attack.
I huffed, then threw my spear aside too. Melek’s gaze brightened, but I shook my head.
“You aren’t going to out-honor me, Melek,” I growled. “Weapons or not, I’m not going to put my family in the hands of Lucifer and his loyalists.”
“Are you listening to yourself? You are one of his loyalists if you stay on this path!”
A very uncomfortable pinch began between my shoulders, but I rolled them to loosen it.
Then, I launched myself at my best friend, who I had called brother. Because if I was going to kill him, I wanted it to be done quickly.