Chapter 9
9
I found Jake in the lounge area of the hotel, reading something on his phone. I paused before approaching, feeling nervous all over again to talk to him after what had happened at breakfast. I didn’t think I’d ever had so many awkward interactions with a man before. To say I felt flustered was an understatement. If this was a man I was interested in, I would have run away by now as fast as my legs could carry me but Jake was stuck with me and I was stuck with him.
Pushing my shoulders back, I started off again and walked over, sitting down in the armchair opposite him, a small table dividing us. ‘I’m sorry you overheard what I said,’ I greeted without preamble. ‘But you know this conference is make or break.’
Jake’s eyes lifted from his phone to meet mine. ‘You don’t need to keep reminding me,’ he said coolly.
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, so it’s my fault that we are on damage control?’ I snapped, my patience evaporating. What was it about this man that got my back up so much?
He slouched in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world, which only annoyed me further. ‘You’ve made it very clear, Freya: this is all my fault. So, instead of telling me again how useless I am, how about we go over what to say in this podcast so we can do “damage control” as you so eloquently put it?’ He went heavy on the sarcasm, even going as far as to do air quotes around the words ‘damage control’.
I exhaled long and hard then looked away from those piercing eyes of his. ‘Yes, let’s do that,’ I replied finally, with false brightness. I pulled out my phone. ‘They sent over the questions in advance so I’ll ask, you answer and we can tweak as needed…’
We focused on the interview and avoided eye contact as we went through it and I made suggestions if I thought Jake could answer a question better. We were sticking to Hayley’s lines about the unfortunate article and when Jake repeated the same answer about lawyers looking into it, I couldn’t stop a small sigh from escaping my lips as I listened to him parroting what she had told him to say.
‘What was that?’
‘Huh?’ I looked up from my phone in surprise at Jake’s sudden, demanding tone. He was staring across at me again, and the eye contact was startling. ‘What was what?’
‘That sigh. You have something to say, Freya, so why not go ahead and say it?’
There he went again, making me want to say things I shouldn’t. The challenge in his eyes was impossible to back down from, however. ‘Fine. You know I think the statement you gave after the article first surfaced was a mistake, so yes, sticking to it now feels wrong. I think you could be more honest about it all and then maybe your readers would understand and your publisher would see that signing you again is a safe bet. Right now, I don’t think they know what to do.’
‘Hayley feels differently,’ Jake replied.
I nodded. ‘Yes. But Hayley is looking at it as your agent, not as a romance reader like me. I love romance; I was a huge fan of your books and it hurt to hear that you don’t care about them, that you only write them to make money. Also, that you don’t believe in the happy ever afters that you create,’ I said, everything coming out in a rush.
Jake raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you really believe in happy ever afters?’
‘I hope they exist. I haven’t had the kind of romance in my life like you write about, no,’ I admitted. ‘But I hope it is out there, and that I will find it one day. I know all your readers feel that way too. So, hearing that you don’t believe in what you’ve written made us all not believe in it either,’ I told him honestly.
He looked a little bit stunned and I saw a flicker of something behind his eyes – regret, or guilt maybe? Then he shook his head. ‘I don’t know if I believe in love either.’
‘Then why are you here?’ I asked, exasperated. I threw my hands up in the air. ‘Why come all the way to New York to try to save your career if you don’t believe in it? If you don’t care? Why carry on writing romance? Even if you need the money, you could write something else. Crime like Davis Mulberry, for instance,’ I said, unable to help myself from bringing up his arch-enemy.
I thought about younger me curled up in bed falling in love with one of Jake’s stories and how heartbroken she would be to hear that author talking like he was right now. That girl longed for love and the woman I was now still longed for it. Jake was making me feel like I was right when I told Liv romance seemed to be dead. What if I never found it? My heart ached suddenly.
‘I don’t know, Freya. I really don’t know.’ He stood up abruptly. ‘Thank you for going through the interview. I’ll stick with what Hayley told me to say. Even if you don’t agree with it, she’s my agent and your boss, and I trust her opinion.’
I flinched at the implication my opinion was worth nothing. ‘Because a romance reader doesn’t know what they’re talking about,’ I said with a sigh. He had sneered at his readers and that article had shown us all what he really thought about us. I had clung to the hope that wasn’t true but Jake was confirming it right now. He didn’t think I was right because I loved romance, and he clearly hated it. Talk about confirming the idea you should never meet your idols. Disappointment flowed through my veins.
I stood up too. ‘Okay, Jake, let’s go to the meeting and then we’ll do this interview the way that you and Hayley see fit. I just hope it works out for you.’
I got up and turned around, walking towards the exit.
* * *
‘So, it’s been six months since your last book was published and no one has heard anything about you releasing a new book. Do you have one on the way?’
I was relieved that the hotel meeting room had the air conditioning on an extra cold setting because the interview with Jake was not going well, and I would have been sweating from the pressure otherwise.
The interviewer, a woman around my age called Eva, had been batting questions at Jake for twenty minutes, all in a tone that suggested she really didn’t like him, and she was continually veering away from the questions we had been sent in advance, but only slightly so we couldn’t complain but the phrasing was much more negative. I wasn’t sure what to do. Would Hayley have called a halt to the whole thing if she was here? Jake was steadfastly avoiding my eyes so I had no idea if he wanted me to do anything or not so I sat on the edge of my uncomfortably hard chair, across the room from them, my body torn between flight or fight.
‘I have written a new book,’ Jake replied carefully. ‘And I can’t wait to tell you all about it soon.’
‘Okay,’ Eva said doubtfully. She leaned forward and my panic dialled up a notch. ‘We’ve reached my final question. I know my listeners are keen to understand what happened earlier this year. We all know the furore that followed the article that was published by Kelly Shepperd but in case anyone missed it, here are the highlights. Shepperd said she overheard you at a party talking with other authors saying, and I quote, that “readers are stupid for believing in happy ever afters. But I’m happy to take their money anyway.” You then claimed this was a fabrication by the journalist and were taking legal action. However, nothing seems to have come of that. So, my question is: do you really expect us to believe that you didn’t actually say that?’
I stood up immediately. ‘That was not on your list of questions,’ I called over. ‘You said you were going to ask how Jake felt about the article, not questioning whether it was true or not,’ I added desperately because I knew Jake had decided not to be honest about it all, and I didn’t want him to have to tell more lies on top of lies.
‘I stand by the statement I made,’ Jake said, standing up. ‘As that was your last question, I think we can call time on this interview now, yes?’
Eva sighed. ‘Yes, fine, that’s it.’ She leaned forward to shut off her recording equipment. ‘But honestly, the whole romance community doesn’t believe that article was made up. Why would a respected journalist randomly do that? Kelly Shepperd hasn’t retracted it and your lawyers haven’t managed to prove it was a lie, right? I think you did say it. So, if you don’t think writing or reading romance is worthwhile, I’m wondering why people should ever read one of your books again?’
Jake stared at her furiously. I hastily walked over, hoping I could steer him out of the room before he said anything to make this interview even worse than it already was. But he responded before I got a chance to. ‘I don’t care if they do or don’t,’ Jake flung at her. Then, he marched out.
My heart sunk.
Eva watched him go then looked at me, gesturing to her equipment. ‘I hadn’t turned it off. I recorded that. And I think his readers deserve to hear that’s what Jake Richards really thinks about them.’
‘Please don’t include that!’
‘I’m sorry, but Jake brought this all on himself.’
The problem was, I couldn’t really argue with her.