Chapter 44
44
Liv and I met that evening in our favourite bar. It was warm so we sat outside at a small, round table with a glass of wine each as London livened up for the night. I told her what had happened with Davis and Simon and asked for her advice.
‘Wow, Freya, that’s amazing,’ Liv said, her eyes lighting up. ‘That’s exactly what you’ve been wanting.’ Then she frowned. ‘But, hang on, Hayley is going to give you the same opportunity, isn’t she?’
‘I thought she was but…’ I told her about the meeting we’d had with Jake and his publishers, how Hayley had taken all the credit for what had happened in New York, and that I needed to wait another six months to do anything more than be her assistant. ‘It’s not that I think I don’t have to pay my dues… it’s that she promised me that if I was successful at the romance conference, she would further my career. Now she’s just gone back on it all.’
‘That’s not on. She’s gone down in my estimation now.’ Liv sighed. ‘I did worry the other day when you said you wanted to be like Hayley. I think you’re great just as you are. And I always knew you’d be a successful agent one day. I just thought Hayley would help you get there.’
I nodded. ‘Me too. But I don’t think she wants to. Not yet anyway. And I did think I needed to be like her. But then I think about the whole thing with Jake – she didn’t help his career after that article came out. I followed my gut and it worked. Hayley wasn’t any help at all there. I thought I admired her, you know? Now, I’m not so sure. She seemed fake in that publishing meeting. I never want to be fake. I would want to support my authors but I’d have to be honest with them and myself, and whoever we’re working with.’
‘Authors appreciate honesty,’ Liv said. ‘Sometimes, you’re promised the earth but then it never happens. I’d rather be told the truth and then I can manage my expectations.’
‘I’m glad you think so too,’ I said, smiling at her. ‘But could I really do this? Leave Hayley and work with Simon? It would be such a leap, such a challenge, and Hayley is going to be furious when she hears about it…’ I bit my lip. The thought of telling Hayley I was leaving for another job scared the shit out of me. But the thought of the new job was so exciting, even if it would be a challenge. I really didn’t want to run away from something I had wanted to do ever since I fell in love with romance books just because I was scared about it.
‘Of course you can do it!’ Liv said firmly. ‘You’ll be amazing. And Hayley will have to suck it up. Don’t worry about her, only about yourself. You will be great at this. In fact, I’d love you to be my agent!’
I laughed. ‘Yeah, and leave Hayley when I move to Simon’s agency, can you imagine?’ She giggled along with me. ‘God, what would she say?’
‘I dread to think,’ Liv said. Then she eyed me across the table. ‘Have you spoken to Jake about it all? I bet he’d be chuffed to hear Simon has offered you this job.’
‘No, we haven’t spoken since the meeting. He was frustrated that I went along with what Hayley wanted. And he was right. I told him to be honest then did the opposite myself. I think he’d tell me to go for this new job like you have.’
‘I think so too,’ she agreed. ‘Does his opinion still matter to you?’
I had a sip of my wine as I considered that. ‘I don’t know. I want him to think well of me, I guess. We seemed so close for a while. I don’t like the idea of not seeing him ever again but if I leave Hayley, when will I?’
‘You could reach out and tell him about what’s happened…’
‘I have enough to worry about with telling Hayley. No, Jake and I are in the past. I need to look to the future now.’
Liv looked a little bit sad but she raised her wine glass. ‘And it will be a great future, I have no doubt. Here’s to your new opportunity.’ We clinked our glasses and both had a sip. I did feel a lot better now I’d spoken to Liv and she didn’t seem to think this was a crazy idea. She was encouraging. And my gut was telling me to go for it. Now I would have to talk to Hayley.
I hoped I’d make it through doing that in one piece.
* * *
After not sleeping and putting my dress on back to front, I eventually stumbled out of my flat and got the Tube to work. I had a large coffee on the way to wake up but that made my nerves about seeing Hayley double. I was a jittery wreck by the time I turned into the road where our building was. I was half-inclined to call in sick and try this another day but I had emailed Simon last night and told him I wanted to take him up on the job offer, and he’d been delighted and told me to let him know as soon as I had spoken to Hayley. I couldn’t chicken out now, as much as I really wanted to.
Walking towards the building, I saw a man heading towards the doors and when I got closer, I recognised who it was. I paused on the pavement, hoping he hadn’t seen me. But as he went to open the door, he looked my way and froze also.
‘Freya,’ Jake said, letting go of the door. He turned and waited so I reluctantly walked towards him.
Jake looked nothing like his usual cool, composed self I realised as soon as we faced each other, just a couple of feet between us. His facial hair was unkempt today like he needed to shave, there were circles under his eyes and his skin looked pale despite the warm week we were having. His shirt had a button undone and the laces on his shoes were untied. I felt a weird urge to hug him. It looked like he needed one in the same way I did. My body seemed to want to lean into his, although I made sure it didn’t.
‘Hi, Jake,’ I said softly, wishing he would smile at me and look at me like I was the only woman for him like he had done before. But there was no smile or softness to him this morning. He looked on edge and almost angry. Back to the intimidating man he had been before that electric kiss we’d had against my hotel-room door.
‘I had an interesting chat last night with Davis Mulberry,’ he said coldly. ‘You didn’t think I deserved to know that not only are you working with that twat now, but clearly, it’s been him you were after all along? And now you’ve got your happy ever after finally!’
I stared at him dumbfounded. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Davis was Freya this, and Freya that, singing your praises, saying he wants to end our feud, that I inspired his latest book and he was wrong all along about romance. He’s now in love and going to dedicate his book to the woman of his dreams…’ Jake ran a shaky hand through his hair. ‘So, we didn’t mean anything to you? Now you’re with Davis, and I’m supposed to be pleased for you both?’
I was thoroughly confused. ‘Davis told you we’re together and he’s going to dedicate the book to me?’ I had to check in case Davis had actually turned out to be a worse man than I’d ever thought he could be.
Jake stared at me then shook his head. ‘He was after you the whole time in New York! Of course it’s you that he was talking about.’
‘It’s not,’ I said quietly. ‘Davis was just trying to wind you up in New York. He was never really interested in me. I’ve told him he’s arrogant and annoying, and he needs to sort himself out. I’ve been offered a job by his agent and I’ll be working with him, but there has never been, or ever will be, anything between us outside of work. Davis has a girlfriend who he loves and will be dedicating the book to. I told him that the two of you need to sort things out as you’ve both almost ruined your careers over your feud.’
I moved around him and went to the door, grabbing it then glancing back at his surprised and confused expression.
‘Jake, whatever you think, you need to know that I had a great time in New York with you. I really liked you and I hoped that maybe we were starting… something. I know now you didn’t feel the same but don’t make me out to be someone I’m not. I only had eyes for you.’ I hoped my voice hadn’t wobbled but I thought it probably had.
Jake stared at me. He was silent and his expression unreadable. I longed to know what he was thinking. Had he wanted me as much as I had wanted him?
When he still didn’t respond, I decided that was my answer.
I looked away from those piercing eyes of his and tried not to show how disappointed I was. ‘I hope you will make peace with Davis. Now, I need to talk to Hayley about the job offer I’ve had, and I’m frankly terrified.’