Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
Tagger
My alarm startles me awake at five o’clock.
I have many regrets in my life, but promising Mr. Greene I’d be out there again today might be my biggest. I won’t disappoint, though. I gave my word, so I get ready and wake Beckett from the dead. I don’t remember him sleeping this heavy back in the city. Can’t blame him with sirens going off throughout the night. Even twenty floors up, there’s no avoiding the sounds of the city. And out here in the quiet countryside, the days are more physical, draining the body at night. So I get it.
“Hey buddy, good morning,” I whisper, lifting him out of bed and setting him on his feet. “You still want to go with Daddy to the ranch today?”
“Mm-hmm.” His eyes don’t open, and I’m second-guessing if this is a good idea. I don’t want to deal with a bad mood that could have been avoided. That won’t be good for either of us. His arm comes around my back, and he rests his head in the crook of my neck. “I want to go with you.”
“Okay. Let’s get you ready, and we’ll eat some breakfast before we head out.”
Not twenty minutes later, he’s wide awake and singing with his whole chest in the back seat of the truck like he’s auditioning for Broadway. I try to keep my eyes from crossing. I love to hear the enthusiasm, but it’s not even six in the morning.
Pris comes galloping down the porch steps as soon as we park. Going right for Beck, she opens the door and leans in to unlatch him. “I heard you were coming to visit today.”
“Daddy said I can ride a horse, Miss Christine.”
She restrains herself from glancing up at me, but I can tell ignoring me doesn’t come easy. “Did your daddy? Well, we’ll make sure that happens. But first, I wanted to see if you can help me collect the eggs as soon as the sun fully rises.” When his feet land on the ground, she taps his nose. “What do you say, buddy?”
He looks at me. I can tell he wants to go with her but doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. “You go, Beck. We have all day to spend together. Okay?”
Turning to her, he says, “Daddy said I could get eggs with you.”
“And whatever Daddy says apparently goes.” She slams the door closed before I can say anything.
Guess I’m not in her good graces like her dad led me to believe. I open the door and get out, ready to get on with it since it’s going to be a long fucking day.
I wasn’t wrong. I spent most of the day covering Davey’s daily duties, herding being a part of it. Reggie didn’t hold back on my duties. I even wondered at one point if Pris was behind the list. She’d make a great spy, considering how she managed to be out of my sight most of the day, to my disappointment.
So much for my plan of making it right.
I’m running out of time, and it might just have to be something I say on the way out later. I’m too busy to take a break in the meantime. At least my kid is having the time of his life riding Nightfall with me. There’s no reason to complain.
By the time Reggie releases me for the day, Beckett is tired and cranky. His missing his nap means a rough evening ahead. I could bet a million bucks he won’t make it past the cattle guard before falling asleep and would clean the house of their money.
Pris comes from the barn. She must have heard us cutting across the gravel of the drive to get in the truck. I toss my hat inside the cab, then duck back out when she says, “You leaving without saying goodbye?”
“I figured you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“I meant him.” Deep cut to my ego. With her arms wide open, she squats down and says, “Come here, kid.”
He runs to her, hugging her tight. They’ve built a bond that will only enhance his memories of this trip. And for her, I’m grateful. She took him in like he was one of her own.
They hug, and she kisses his head. “You be good for Daddy, alright?”
“I will.”
When he shuffles back to the truck, she remains standing there looking at me like I’m a lost cause. I shove my hands in my front pockets, beginning to wonder if I am. I’ve lost myself over the past few years. It’s been good here, but this is only temporary. But even so, I don’t want to leave things on a bad note with her.
“I’m sorry, Christine.”
“Christine? That was a fast-track change.”
I can’t seem to muster any defensive response because I already know that no one will get out of this mess unscathed.“I can’t win, can I?”
“Not if you give up so easily.”
I glance back at the truck. The doors were left open, and Beck sits in the front seat looking like he hopes I won’t notice. I close some of the gap between Pris and me, hoping we can set down our weapons and be on the same team again. “I’m not giving up. I’m facing reality. We shouldn’t have done that, and we both know it. Even though we started down a path, it’s one that hits a dead end.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t live here, and I’m not moving back. My kid’s mother is in the city. Your brother will kill us. It’s an impossible situation. So it’s better to give us time and space, the distance needed to cool things between us.”
“So you walk away despite what you felt yesterday?” She crosses her arms over her chest and angles away from me. “Yeah, that will solve the issues.”
“We shouldn’t even have any issues, so if we’re being forced to solve them, then it’s a disservice not to acknowledge that this can’t happen between us.”
She lowers her arms to her sides, and disappointment wrecks her expression, souring the look on her face. “You’re probably right. There’s no use in trying to make something happen when it’s not meant to be.”
That doesn’t make me feel better. But I don’t think it was supposed to.
I nod, taking one last good look at her. “Maybe I’ll see you around next time I’m in town.”
“Yeah, you and Beck are always welcome on the ranch.” She shifts, and I think she senses this is goodbye like I do. “And thanks for filling in for Davey the past two days. You were more help than I gave you credit for.”
“I don’t need any credit. It was good to be back in the saddle and put some physical work in. Saved me a couple of trips to the gym as well.” I try to muster a smile but fail.
Her grin blooms like a flower for me. “There are no gyms in Peachtree Pass for a reason.”
“Now I know why.” I step up on the truck and steal one last lingering look. Her eyes latch onto mine like she knows what’s coming. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
She nods, shoving her hands in her pockets. “See you around, Tag.”
I get in not feeling any better than how the day got started. I’m used to it, though. The demands of work make most days run into the next. Beck climbed over the seat and buckled himself up in the back. I start the engine and turn the truck around without looking in the rearview mirror. It’s better for both of us if we leave things where they are instead of pretending we have more time to figure it out.
Heading toward the two-lane road that will lead me back to the house, I stop just on the other side of the cattle guard and look back at my son. I’d be a richer man if I’d made the bet. Beck’s fallen asleep, leaving me with my thoughts on the way back to my parents’ house.
We’re back at the house earlier tonight, which might be the reason I’m not as tired. My dad cracks open a beer as I walk with him to do the final round before night comes. He says, “You’re leaving tomorrow.” Not asking much. He never did.
But I answer anyway. “Yes, sir.”
“Joey stopped by to pick up some extra eggs from us.”
“Joey from high school?” I haven’t thought about him in years. He played football with Baylor and me. Caused some trouble but was a good friend. “What’s he up to?”
He takes one barn door while I take the other, and we close them at the same time. “He said he’ll be down at Whiskey’s later and said you should stop by.”
“I think I’m good.” I latch the barn doors closed and head back to the house with him.
“We’re not doing anything but watching Wheel of Fortune and last week’s episode of Survivor .” On the porch, he says, “Can’t say we’ll be much fun.”
“I don’t mind. The days have gone fast.”
Patting my back, he says, “He seemed like he really wanted to see you. Think about it once we head to bed. I know you kids start your nights late. Nothing exciting will be going on here other than my snoring.”
“I’ll think about it.”
As soon as I walk in, my mom says, “Anna called to talk to Beckett.”
I would have rather been here, but she’s allowed to talk to her son. “How’d that go?”
“Seemed to go well. She talked to me before I handed over the phone.”
That raises suspicion. I scratch the back of my neck. “Not to sound like a parrot, but how did that go?”
“She was cordial. She also asked about you and how you were doing?” I don’t make things negative, but how I’m doing is the last thing she ever cared about. So yeah, that’s odd. Mom continues, “I told her you were doing great and working out at Rollingwood the past two days.”
I chuckle. “I can only imagine what she thought about that.”
With us standing in the kitchen, keeping our voices down so little ears don’t hear, she releases a sigh. “I may be reading too much into it, but she sounded like she missed you.”
“We don’t see each other except when we’re picking up or dropping off Beckett, so I think you misread her tone.” I rest my hand on the top of the chair because it seems my mom has more on her mind.
She moves closer and peeks down the hall before whispering, “Although I don’t know what happened between you two, I know it’s not been easy for you since. I hate to pry, but I still worry about you and Beckett.”
“You’re not prying. Ask what’s on your mind.”
“Is there a chance you and Anna could get back together? Many couples work it out for the kids?—”
“No. There’s no chance.” I direct my attention down the hall where Beck fell asleep not long ago. “We weren’t good before we found out about the baby, but I stuck out to support her during the pregnancy and after to be in my son’s life. Now that the ties that bound us in the early years are severed, I’m not looking to fix them. I’m in his life equally, as much as I can be, but he’s happy, and I’m happier. This trip helped.”
“You found a piece of yourself again. I can see it in your eyes. That’s what coming home does. It reminds you of who you were and the people who will always welcome you back.” She embraces me around my middle.
I hug her, and say, “Thank you.” It’s quick, and the talk was over before it got too heavy. I’m glad we have the type of relationship where she doesn’t mind that I don’t tell her the gory details as long as she knows I’m okay. “I’m doing good.”
“I’m glad to hear it and even happier to see it.” Giving my arm a squeeze, she says, “I’m turning in. Night, son. Love you.”
“Love you, Mom.” The conversation replays in my mind as I walk upstairs, and it stays on a loop as I take a hot shower. I washed my face and hands before dinner, but the water now pummeling my shoulders feels so good as the rest of the tension washes away.
I take my time, but even when I get out, it’s not that late. It’s just gone nine. So I sit on the end of the bed and flip the TV on. After a good twelve seconds of searching the few channels my parents pay for, I click it off, remembering what my dad said about Joey.
Am I up for driving over to Whiskey’s?
It’s been years since I’ve been there. I was barely legal that time, too. Now I’m a grown man with a child. I should be a responsible dad.
Since when does having a good time every now and again make me a bad father ? It doesn’t.
I still humor myself by looking around the small bedroom once more to see if anything remotely entertaining catches my eye. Nothing. I could go to sleep, but I’d be up at three in the morning wide awake. Our flight isn’t until noon, so I don’t need to go to bed early.
Pushing up, I grab my phone and text my dad:
You okay watching Beck if I go meet Joey out at Whiskey’s?
They go to bed early, but they’re up watching TV and reading, so he doesn’t take long to reply.
We’ve got him covered. He’s safe here. You have fun and drive safely.
Thanks, Dad.
I could wear what I’d wear in New York or see if any shirts in the closet still fit. I go to the closet and start to flip through hangers until I find a black button-up. I pull on a pair of jeans that magically got washed today and then the shirt. The arms are tighter, so I wave my arms in front of me to stretch the cotton.
I’m missing a belt that will work with this attire, so I leave the shirt untucked, but I make sure to grab my boots and a felted black hat before I walk out the door. The clothes are foreign to my body, but it feels good to be in something different, something made to weather a bar fight, wear to a Texas wedding, and everything in between.
With the keys to the truck in hand and almost a full tank of gas, I take off across county lines and find my way back to the only bar worth visiting in a thirty-mile radius.
I grin when I see the flashing Y in the sign on the verge of going out. The metal exterior is rusted, neon beer signs hang in the windows, and the parking lot is full. I wasn’t the only one with this idea.
Walking in, I quickly scope it out. The place has expanded, more pool tables are behind the bar to the left, and the dance floor is already crowded with couples dancing to a live band. This place has changed. It was nothing more than a dive bar when Baylor and I stopped in for a beer.
“Granger baby, you’re back!” Joey comes up and slaps his hand in mine. “Good to see ya, man.”
I almost don’t recognize him. Tucked under a lighter straw cowboy hat, he used to wear a buzz cut, but his hair is shaggier around the ears now. His face is fuller to match the rest of his build, but his laid-back grin is still the same. “It’s good to be back.”
“Come on. Let’s get you a beer and catch up.”
We find some vacant stools and sit before ordering two draft beers. They’re not so much as set down on the bar in front of us when the door opens. It draws the crowd’s attention because everyone wants to see who walks in.
There’s no denying who it is with her hair shining like silk free-falling over her shoulders, those eyes that remind me of sapphires, and a smile that just about knocks me on my ass because it’s so gorgeous. The fitted green tank top clings to her tits and is tucked into a pair of denims that had to be painted on. She’ll need the Jaws of Life to remove them later, or . . . my teeth could do the job.
I’m even privy to hearing her laugh from this distance. It’s music to my ears. Finding her incredibly tantalizing, I empty the pint glass because I’m already well aware that I’m totally fucked in this situation. Or will be if I’m lucky!