Chapter 16 #2
“You have both been hurt and betrayed. You were betrayed in a much worse manner than Jane was in the recent past; her betrayal by her family was of lower magnitude, but of much longer duration. I also assume there may have been other betrayals in the past. Betrayal has a cumulative effect, so you are both damaged by it to a greater or lesser extent. Would you agree?”
“Yes.”
“Both of you were raised to be private people. Jane was the beauty of the family who was supposed to save us all. Our mother pounded the need for her to save the family into her head relentlessly for a decade. You were raised as a man and probably taught to be private because that is the normal course for your sex. Am I correct?”
“You have it just right.”
“So, both of you have put yourselves in your own little boxes, full of hurt, betrayal, expectations, and privacy. You met, and each found something in the other box. However, neither of you knows whether you see someone you might love, or just another person carrying similar injuries—you worry that two wrongs do not make a right. Is that a fair assessment?”
He was silent for at least a dozen yards, but finally said, “That is the conundrum. Are we drawn to each other because of some innate quality we both admire, or because misery loves company? I do not believe the latter is the case, but cannot discount the possibility.”
“My thought exactly. I said the same thing to Jane yesterday. That you ask the question is significant, I think. Few things are all good or all bad. Your willingness to admit the possibility shows a capacity for self-reflection that will serve you well if you ever work out the answer. Even so, your inability to get past it is not auspicious. You should not need my help.”
He thought a moment. “It is as if we both built a box around ourselves with a maze inside. We both know the other is there somewhere, and we both believe the maze must have a solution, but we keep stumbling around, knowing someone else is in the maze only because we hear them through the walls, and neither of us has enough sense to stop and let the other find us.”
Elizabeth laughed gaily. “You really take to this analogy business with gusto. Are you this competitive in everything?”
“Apparently almost everything.”
“Now we are in my area of expertise. Did Jane tell you I used mathematics to engineer the marriage between my sister and brother?”
“She gave me the broad outlines, but she was too embarrassed to tell the details.”
“Let me tell you the whole story.”
She did so, and when she finished, he laughed. “Who would have thought that compound interest was the key to domestic felicity?”
Elizabeth laughed along with him. “Do not forget the supreme value of multiplication and addition—which brings me to the simplest of all mathematical concepts.”
“Which is?”
“Comparisons, thresholds, and proportional scaling. Wait here.”
During the story of Mary’s odd courtship, Elizabeth had worked them back to the duck pond; she ran around the corner and returned a moment later, dragging Jane.
Mr Jameson stood near another shrub, looking pensive, so Elizabeth dragged Jane to it and pointed. “There is the box, Jane.”
Jane fearfully pantomimed opening the box and dumping her politeness and other attributes into it. She closed it and faced her sister and Mr Jameson.
Elizabeth said, “Here we all are. Mr Jameson, I promised you some simple mathematics—comparisons, thresholds, and scaling; but may we first divert to philosophy?”
Jane said, “I know you eventually start making sense, Lizzy, but this is not a promising beginning.”
All three chuckled, which was her intent all along.
Elizabeth took moderate satisfaction in the couple.
Their countenances showed equal measures of hope and fear.
They had both shown some measure of faith that she could resolve their difficulty.
Their faith was misplaced, of course, but as with all questions, faith itself might be the tonic they needed.
These thoughts were not helpful, so she brought herself back to the problem at hand by squeezing her fingernails into her palm—a useful trick she relied on all too often.
“I will return to the most ancient of questions. This was a well-established and frankly unanswerable debate in Aristotle’s time, well over 2,000 years ago. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
The question was a complete non-sequitur by design, so the pair looked at her in confusion.
Elizabeth explained, “It is simple. You both want trust and love. To receive trust and love, you must give trust and love. You are each afraid to be the first to give them, which in turn leaves you unable to receive them. You are caught on the horns of a dilemma, victims of circular reasoning. You cannot have a chicken without an egg, nor an egg without a chicken.”
Jane and Mr Jameson stared at her a moment before Jane said, “I suppose you have a mathematical answer.”
“I do. As I said, we will use comparisons, thresholds, and proportional scaling.”
Elizabeth boldly took hold of both her students. “Now, I want you to stand back-to-back. We will make a metaphorical egg.”
Both looked perplexed, but since Elizabeth had cleverly manoeuvred them into a private stand of trees, they sheepishly complied, standing about a foot apart.
Ensuring they were unobserved, Elizabeth did something outrageous.
She reached around Jane’s waist and pressed her backward until she stood back-to-back with the gentleman.
Jane gasped, but Elizabeth continued relentlessly.
“Quit whingeing, Jane. Remember your embarrassment is still over in the box. You may retrieve it when we finish.”
The couple stood in perhaps their first contact beyond gloved hands. The situation was both thrilling and mortifying—exactly as Elizabeth wanted.
“Very well, now hold your hands in front where I can see them.”
Both looked confused, which was also by Elizabeth’s design, but did as she asked.
“Now, we will do some scaling using comparisons and thresholds. I want each of you to think of a scale of attraction between two people. We shall say that 1 is a couple that can barely tolerate each other—our parents, for example. 5 is a couple that rubs along well enough but is not particularly in love, say Lady Lucas and Sir William. 10 is a couple fully in a loving union of respect, felicity, and love—perhaps Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, or Mary and William. Do you have that in your minds?”
Both nodded, which made them bump their heads, since they had unconsciously pressed together into tighter contact than even Elizabeth insisted on.
“When I clap my hands, I want you both to raise the number of fingers for what you think you might have with the other, if you could just get over your fear.”
She waited almost a minute to build tension before clapping her hands. She was most gratified to see 18 fingers—a respectable score.
She laughed and used her boot to drag a line in the dirt in front of Jane’s feet, and another in front of Mr Jameson. She walked in front of Jane and dragged two more to form a square.
She pointed at the square. “See those lines?”
Both nodded.
“That is your box. You both want the same thing, and you did not need my services at all. I will accept my superfluousness after you turn around—but stay in your box.”
With a laugh, both members of the newly acknowledged couple managed to turn and face each other, though it took several tumultuous minutes—holding each other up by the arms, wrapping their arms completely around each other—before the manoeuvre was complete.
Once they faced each other, they smiled and laughed nervously.
Elizabeth said, “I am turning around now. Enjoy the last few minutes before your boxes open again. Goodbye.”
~~~
A few hours later, Elizabeth sat in the parlour with Jane. The couple had decided on a proper formal courtship. They requested and received consent. Being of age, Jane did not need it, but it would have been disrespectful to carry on in her uncle’s house without it.
Elizabeth was happy to see they did not rush headlong into an engagement or marriage.
She thought the result about 75% inevitable, but they both required healing and learning.
They had all the time in the world, but if they started out on the wrong foot, it might take years to correct.
Better to make adjustments early, when it was easier; and better to reduce the penalty for the still possible failure.
Elizabeth said, “Jane, I am entirely satisfied with the outcome, but you know perfectly well you did not need me at all.”
Jane laughed. “I fear you must have mixed up your box with someone else’s. You picked up some false modesty, and I for one do not care for it.”
“Well—”
“I am not like you, Lizzy, but I am also not a mathematical simpleton either. Shall I give you my analysis?”
Elizabeth shrugged; Jane laughed lightly.
“You are 2 for 2. 100%success rate. 0% failure rate. 4 courtships per annum since entering the trade. 20% complete in your task of marrying off the Bennet sisters. #1 most successful matchmaker in Meryton. ∞ times better than our mother. 9 months from completing your task at the current pace. 10/10[xv] average over two samples in Lizzy’s Affection Scale.
Favourite sister for 2/4 Bennet sisters…
oh, dear, I need to simplify to 1/2. Shall I continue? ”
By then, Elizabeth was laughing hilariously. “Do not forget first spinster.”
The two chuckled longer, and Jane finally asked, “By the way, what is the answer? What came first, the chicken or the egg?”
“Why, the answer is obvious. It was clearly the egg.”
“So, you are wiser than Aristotle and all the ancients?”
“As a matter of fact, I am… though I must confess, my wisdom is limited to listening to a 5-year-old’s answer and adopting it as my own.”
“How so?”
“Emily Goulding’s father makes a study of fossils and talked of them often with her, at some length. I listened to part of the discussion, and it was fascinating.”
“And?”
“Her grandmother asked her the age-old question, and Emily said, and I quote, since it was so perfect, ‘The egg, of course.’ When asked to explain her reasoning, she said, ‘There were all sorts of creatures like fish, ants, and insects long before there were chickens—and they laid eggs.’”
Jane gasped, and Elizabeth continued wistfully.
“Like many conundrums, the question is a framing error. Nobody ever says it must be a chicken egg. It is an invalidating assumption.”
“So?”
“So, it made no real difference what I did. You and Mr Jameson knew what you wanted but did not know how to get it—or more likely, just did not see how to get past your fear. Asking me to help was a trick you both used to do what you knew in your heart you wanted to do but were too… chicken to ask.”
Both laughed heartily.
“It almost did not matter what I said. Had I chastised you both for half an hour in Spanish, or made the two of you learn chess or choose a puppy together, it would have had the same effect.”
Jane smiled. “Protest all you want, Miss 2 for 2.”