Chapter 42
Welcome Home
“Lizzy, welcome home!”
Elizabeth smiled at her family, who were lined up to welcome her. The greeting came simultaneously from her parents, Lydia, and Kitty, though at half their usual volume. Elizabeth smiled in return and waited for the rest… and waited… and waited… and waited.
Both her younger sisters made surprisingly proper curtsies, a substantial improvement on their usual sloppy efforts, and said not a single word about gossip or presents.
Neither young lady giggled, whispered, ducked her head, or did any of the other expected things.
Elizabeth had expected some improvement in her sisters' deportment, but this was… disconcerting.
“Welcome home, Elizabeth. Welcome to Longbourn, Miss de Bourgh,” her father added to the younger girls’ greetings.
“Oh, Lizzy! Where is Jane? I expected her to come home with you. Oh, how that girl vexes me. She has no compassion for my poor nerves. I have no idea what my sister has her up to in London. She has been there these 4 months and has not even—”
“There, there, my dear. I am certain Lizzy will tell you all about it later!” Bennet interrupted.
Elizabeth was glad to see that at least some part of the world still operated as it should; she could work out the mystery of her youngest sisters at her leisure. Resolving not to let them out-manner her, she gave her own curtsey and began her introduction.
“Papa, Mama, Kitty, Lydia, might I introduce you to my particular friend, Miss Anne de Bourgh of Rosings Park in Kent. Anne, my family: Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet, Miss Katherine, though we call her Kitty, and Miss Lydia.”
The introduction was superfluous, as Anne could have easily picked her sisters out of a crowded ballroom from their discussions alone. The very concept of sisters in general, and Elizabeth’s in particular, consumed all her curiosity; she matched their curtsies.
“You are welcome to our home, Miss de Bourgh,” Bennet said. “We are happy you decided to join us, though, from experience, I suspect my second daughter gave you Hobson’s Choice.”
Anne laughed. “Lizzy was correct. I am delighted to meet you all and heartened by your warm welcome.”
“Correct about what, exactly?”
“She said you would make an obscure literary reference within the day just to see if I could follow; or, if I could not, how I would react to it. She approximated 90% chance within the first day, 60% the first hour, and 50% the first quarter-hour.”
He quirked his eyebrow in question, which made Anne smile. “She said you are a studier of character, and you would want to know if I understood the reference; and if not, whether I would try to pretend I did, admit my ignorance, pretend I had not heard you, distract, or do something else.”
“Interesting, young lady. And what is it to be?”
Anne smiled and took Lizzy’s arm to walk towards the family.
“You must await my reaction on your next attempt. I understood that reference perfectly. It was named for Hobson, a stable owner who rented horses in the 16th century. You took either the horse closest to the door or none at all. Hobson’s choice means take it or leave it.
You imply that anyone who opposed Elizabeth’s will was doomed to failure—a not unnatural surmise. ”
Bennet chuckled. “I look forward to our acquaintance. How deep will I have to dig to stump you?”
“Let us just say that besting Anne in obscure literary references may be beyond even your capabilities,” Elizabeth said. “It is certainly beyond mine. Anne has her own story that could well make an excellent novel, but I will leave that to her to tell or not as she chooses.”
“I must say, Lizzy, that is a very nice gauntlet. Shame you had to throw it in the dirt like that, but I suspect I am up to the challenge. Prepare to be flummoxed, Miss de Bourgh.”
Everyone laughed except Mrs Bennet, who refrained because she had not understood a single word of the exchange.
The two younger sisters laughed because if both Lizzy and her father thought it funny, it must be.
They at least recognized that Miss de Bourgh had bested their father, and that was amusing in itself.
Bennet stepped back and gestured to the door. In the hallway, Mrs Hill beamed. “Welcome home, Miss Lizzy. Welcome to Longbourn, Miss de Bourgh. Am I to understand you intend to share a room? We have nice guest rooms available.”
“No, Mrs Hill, I thank you for your concern; good enough for Jane is good enough for me. You see,” she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “Lizzy and I have many secret affairs to discuss.”
Mrs Hill smiled hugely, though she had enough sense not to set Mrs Bennet off by laughing too loudly. “You should refresh yourselves after your long journey. I shall have tea in the parlour in half an hour.”
Elizabeth smiled. “I have no idea what we would do without you, Mrs Hill.”
“Oh hush, you. Get on with ye.”
Elizabeth reached up, gave the housekeeper, who had kept her halfway sane more than once as a child, a big kiss on the cheek, and turned towards the stairs.
Assuming what was good for the goose was good for the gander, Anne stepped on tiptoe and did the same, much to Mrs Hill’s delight, though she quickly swatted the young heiress away.
“Off with ye, young miss.”
~~~
When Elizabeth and Anne returned, they found only their youngest sisters.
Kitty stood, curtseyed, and spoke brightly but decorously. “Welcome again, Miss de Bourgh. I apologise; my parents are not here to greet you. They will see you at supper.”
Elizabeth was not surprised. It was discourteous, but not outrageously so.
By her father’s standards, it was typical.
By her mother’s… well, Elizabeth could not work that one out at all.
Anne de Bourgh was of high status, a potential source of gossip, and probably a good way to gain intelligence about her dearest Jane; yet Mrs Bennet had abandoned the field.
It made no sense. Perhaps the lady sat in her room crying that there was yet one more attractive and eligible lady here to steal away all the men.
Whatever the cause, Elizabeth would not worry.
Tea arrived, and Elizabeth poured for everyone while her companions engaged in the usual social inanities. Elizabeth waited for the first awkward question or faux pas, but eventually gave in to curiosity.
“Kitty, Lydia, I am curious about your—”
She stumbled to a stop, searching for a polite way to ask the question, but Lydia gently interrupted. “Give up, Lizzy. You are trying to find a polite way to ask why we act with decorum.”
Elizabeth nodded.
Both girls giggled, though not terribly, and Kitty said, “I win, Lydia. I told you she would not be able to work it out.”
Lydia laughed. “I should have known better than to bet that Lizzy could do the impossible, but the impossible for others is just a challenge for Lizzy.”
Anne joined in. “I am certain this makes sense to you, but I believe your sister and I suffer from a lack of… context? While I agree that betting on Lizzy accomplishing the impossible is usually sound, I do not follow the rest.”
Lydia laughed. “Oh, I think we shall get along very well. I shall explain.”
She leaned towards Elizabeth. “As you can plainly see, we are trying to learn proper decorum—Better late than never?”
She turned back to Anne. “I am certain Lizzy would not speak disparagingly about her sisters to you, Anne… Oh, my!”
Lydia flushed, and both she and Kitty stared at their shoes. Elizabeth could not work out what her sister had to be embarrassed about, nor did she believe either sister capable of the emotion.
Fortunately, Anne showed not the least confusion, and replied gently, “It is all right, Miss Lydia. I will be in this house for some time and hope to become close. I give you leave to call me Anne, and respectfully ask the same of you.”
Lydia smiled, and both girls replied together, “It would be our privilege.”
Elizabeth remained perplexed—Lydia Bennet, embarrassed by such a tiny, niggling propriety violation!
Anne continued, “Perhaps you were trying to politely say that your sister is surprised your manners have improved to a degree that Lizzy finds startling?”
Lydia giggled much too exuberantly. “Since we were practically savages when she left, I imagine the… Oh, Kitty, what is the mathematical term we seek?”
Kitty and Lydia exchanged a glance and said together, “Delta!”
Anne frowned in confusion.
“Lizzy loves to talk in mathematical terms, so Lydia and I thought we would try to speak her language," Kitty said.
"Delta is the 4th letter of the Greek alphabet, and it looks like a triangle. It means change. The increment seems unreasonable to Lizzy, so her mind busily searches for a potential explanation. Is that not right, Lizzy?”
Kitty punctuated the question with the traditional kick in her sister’s foot, and Elizabeth laughed. “You do know that finding the best way to say something in your listener’s preferred frame of reference is the absolute height of good manners?”
To her surprise, both sisters beamed at the compliment—yet another unexpected development.
Elizabeth leaned forward. “I applaud your improved decorum, but pray tell me you have not snuffed out your liveliness in the process. It is easy to overshoot.”
“Oh, we are still improving, but you no longer need worry about us,” Kitty said mischievously.
Lydia added, “You and Jane need no longer tutor us. Our governess has us well in hand.”
For the second time that week, Elizabeth had her teacup at her lips at precisely the wrong moment, but at least that time she did not spit anything all over the tray, electing instead to cough her lungs out.
“Governess? Since when have you a governess?”
“A week.”
Perplexed, Elizabeth asked, “Papa never mentioned any intention to engage a governess.”
“As you say, he is indolent. He has yet to say a single word on the subject. From his actions, it would be difficult to discern that he had engaged anyone at all.”
“So how do you come to have a governess?”
“Well, the woman arrived a week ago,” Lydia said. “Mama did not seem to expect her, but she had a fit of nerves that day anyway. Mrs Hill assigned her to Mary’s old room for the time being. Papa did not even deign to welcome her, so it was just us and Mrs Hill.”
Elizabeth’s ire started rising, but Kitty, who had seen the signs many times, squeezed her arm gently, with an implied message: she could squeeze hard enough to bruise, if necessary.
“Be easy, Lizzy. All is well. Lydia and I took care of everything—with Mrs Hill’s support, of course.”
“Yes!” Lydia said. “We were ever so curious about her, and she sought us out to ask if we might show her the pianoforte so she could practise.”
Kitty giggled. “Lydia asked if she was to be our governess, since that was the only reason we could think of for an unknown woman to appear.”
The story, confusing as it was, amused Elizabeth. “What did she say?”
Lydia looked chagrined. “Just before that, we had a small dispute over something or other, and it was a bit—”
“You need not describe it in detail.”
“I shan’t, then. She obviously heard our argument, for she looked at us like naughty children, but did not comment. Instead, she asked if we needed a governess.”
Elizabeth leaned forward. “And?”
“Kitty was very brave. She suggested that unless the woman was stone deaf, she know perfectly well we do!”
Elizabeth gasped, but both her younger sisters smiled again.
Kitty continued, “And she said, ‘Well then, I suppose I must be. I am Mrs Jenkinson. Shall we begin?’”
Elizabeth and Anne started, and Anne asked, “Mrs Jenkinson is your governess?”
Lydia bounced in her seat like a child before catching herself. “It is working out ever so well. She knows everything! She will make proper ladies of us yet.”
Elizabeth turned a curious eye on Anne, but she merely shrugged. “I happen to know the woman, and she is just what you need.”
“How do you know her?” Lydia asked.
Elizabeth wondered how Anne would handle such an awkward situation.
Both ladies bore terrible guilt for not thinking of Anne’s companion in the rush of the new adventure, beyond assuming Lady Catherine would take care of her.
It had never occurred to Elizabeth that Lady Catherine would send the companion to Longbourn without escort or introduction. It simply was not done.
“She was my companion for some time,” Anne said.
“Am I interrupting?” Mrs Jenkinson said, entering the parlour, as calm and collected as ever.
“Never,” Anne said. “I apologise for not finding you straightaway. I was unaware you were in residence until your charges told the story. Pray join us. Tea?”
Mrs Jenkinson sat, but declined refreshment.
“I am so happy to see you here,” Anne said. “Do you find your charges agreeable, and your duties to your liking?”
Kitty and Lydia glanced between them, while Mrs Jenkinson said, “I am quite satisfied with my present duties. It may take time, but success is assured.”
Anne understood the subtle message that it was not entirely necessary to acquaint the younger Bennet sisters with all the particulars.
Mrs Jenkinson and Anne had used Christian names for years, so the former companion’s answer showed that she would defer to Anne’s judgement, yet was not in the least unhappy with how matters had fallen out.
She would explain it all to Lizzy later and speak with Mrs Jenkinson after. For the moment, all seemed well.
Elizabeth said, “I am happy to see you, Mrs Jenkinson. I hope you have a strong constitution with these two.”
Kitty and Lydia giggled.
Mrs Jenkinson said, “Strong as an ox. These two would not even make it into the bottom quartile.”
Lydia looked perplexed, so Elizabeth explained carefully.
“A quartile is a quarter of an ordered set, Lydia. Suppose you take 100 girls and arrange them from naughtiest to nicest. The 25 naughtiest would form the bottom quartile, while the 25 nicest would form the top.”
Not to be outdone, Lydia replied, “Oh, we shall fall into the top quartile when you arrange us by angelicness—is that even a word?”
Everyone was laughing when Bennet poked his head in and asked how everyone was getting along.
Lydia said, “We are studying mathematics and deportment, Papa.”
Her father scratched his head, concluded—probably correctly—that he would never understand women, and retreated to his library, where arguments were rare since most of his opponents had been dead for centuries.