Chapter 4 Cadence
Cadence
Iswear, if my alarm wasn’t blaring from my cell phone, I’d throw it against the wall.
I’d feel satisfaction in watching it shatter.
Instead, I groan as I reach for it, frantically trying to swipe at the stop bar to shut it off.
But then, from all of its violent vibrations, it falls off my side table and onto the floor.
Great. I don't know what's got me in a hostile mood.
Maybe it's because I didn't sleep well last night, which hardly happens.
And I love my sleep, but I usually wake up early on school days just because I like to beat my brother to the shower.
But today, for some reason, I'm just not having it.
I throw my head back in annoyance, huffing when I decide to roll out of bed to pick my phone up off the floor.
“I really loathe you right now,” I complain to the device before turning off the alarm and tossing it onto my bed. But then it vibrates again.
I turn my head, eyeing it. My phone is slightly buried in my scrunched-up blanket, but I can still see that it’s a text message; my screen lit up with a familiar name across it.
Zach.
What could he want this early in the morning? Why is he texting me?
I hesitate and I'm not sure why. I should be jumping at the opportunity to talk to him, right?
But I think part of me is apprehensive because he makes me nervous and I don't want to say or do the wrong things.
Or seem overly eager. But I decide to check the message, unlocking my phone and clicking on the notification.
Just wanted to say good morning. See you later.
My heart races. We haven’t texted since Saturday, which was only two days ago but to say I didn't expect to hear from him again so soon is an understatement.
That reminds me, I almost forgot that he's taking me to school today, along with Brayden of course, since Ryen's car crapped out on her yesterday.
Usually, when her car is working, she'll take me to school.
Otherwise, ever since both boys got their licenses, one or the other will usually drive us.
I stare at the message, wondering how I should reply or if I should reply at all.
What should I say? Hey, sorry I haven’t texted you but you kind of make me nervous and I'm scared that my brother will find out and I also don't want you to think that I'm super desperate to talk to you all the time even though I kind of am because I've secretly had this crush on your since the fourth grade and I'm not sure you'd ever like me like that.
Yeah, no thanks.
But not to mention, Ryen told me to be a little less available. Her exact words were, "Okay, well now that you know he was thinking about you, don't text him for the rest of the weekend. Wait to see if he texts you again."
So that's what I did. And now, I don't know what to say. So instead of trying to come up with a response, I simply click on the reactions and press the pink heart emoji before tossing my phone back down and heading to get my morning started.
“Cadie!” I swing my head behind me to find Ryen pushing her way through the hall. Students are either eagerly rushing through the hallway, standing around as they chat with their friends, or have their faces buried in their phones as they blindly navigate the hallway.
I can tell she's annoyed. Ryen hates crowds, especially when there really is no reason for them.
For instance, when she's driving down the highway and traffic comes to nearly a complete stop only to find out that the reason is because drivers are being nosy regarding an accident on the other side of the highway. And now, it's because-
“Hello?" She snaps at a group of kids who are just standing in the center of the hall, gossiping between themselves. "Pay attention." She waves her hands around as if to let them know that they are disrupting foot traffic, and the scramble, allowing her to proceed.
"Someone is sassy today," I say to her once she makes it through to me.
"Someone pissed me off earlier," she says before she sighs.
"And it’s like a freaking zoo in here. Like they've never learned how to keep it moving!” Ryen turns her head back to the crowd and practically shouts that last sentence over the stampede of students, as if to insult them.
A few of them look her way and give her wide eyes while others simply just ignore her.
I giggle as she turns back to me and we proceed with the crowd moving toward the cafeteria.
"Who pissed you off?" I ask curiously, but she just waves me off.
“Not a big deal. Anyway," she huffs as she loops her arm through mine. "How was the car ride this morning?”
“Awkward,” I admit as I think back.
“What? Why?”
“Because I’m dumb,” I start, feeling my cheeks blush with embarrassment as I tell her what happened.
“I literally avoided saying anything to him when I got in the car, which isn’t normal.
I at least say hey or something. What’s up, Zach, at the least. But I just got in and kept my eyes down the whole time. ”
“Okay? Well, why? What happened?” Ryen and I get to the end of the lunch line in the cafeteria.
I lower my voice to answer her, making sure no one else has a chance to overhear our conversation. “Well, for starters, my brother was there," I state the obvious.
“Okay, but that’s nothing new.”
“Yeah, but I think it just feels different, ya know?”
“Okay, sure . . . but also not really.” She shrugs. "I think you think it feels different because you both feel something, obviously. But I also think you're thinking too much about your brother."
“Maybe you're right. But I don’t really know how to explain it,” I start. “It’s like something has shifted. But we haven’t talked all weekend so maybe I was feeling a little weird about that too.”
Ryen unloops her arms to reach for a tray, handing me one too. We move down the line, picking our lunch items out and then make our way to the self-pay registers. We walk toward an empty table and sit.
“Well, you could have texted him if you really wanted to,” Ryen says as she lowers her tray to the table.
“YOU TOLD ME NOT TO!”
Ryen’s eyes go wide and I realize that I pretty much shouted that loud enough for half of the cafeteria to take notice and my cheeks go red, I can feel them. Perks of being fairly light complected.
Ry grips my elbow and sternly, but not harshly, yanks me down to sit next her and I abide. Embarrassment washes over me for a second and I have to distract myself by peeling my cutie.
“Yeah, but still,” Ryen says as she opens her bottle of apple juice.
“Well, he texted me this morning before picking me up and I only responded with a heart over his message.”
“Oh well, now I can see how you made the car ride awkward.”
I pop an orange slice into my mouth, recalling the morning.
After the text message, I jumped in the shower and got ready.
Not long later, Bray was yelling at me to hurry because Zach was waiting on us.
I was way too nervous as I climbed into the back seat of his Jeep.
And while normally I do greet him, he didn't say anything to me either. Brayden of course was blabbing about whatever, but I just kept my head down and acted as if I wasn’t even paying attention to either of them.
Usually, the boys just talk amongst themselves about football or parties or whatever and I just scroll my social media the whole time anyway, so it wasn’t too out of the ordinary.
But at one point, Bray turned to Zach and asked him, “Dude, why are you so fucking quite?” And that’s when Zach looked up at me from the rear view mirror.
It was a risky move considering my brother was looking right at him.
But then he looked over at Bray and said, “Sorry, I’ve just been distracted lately. ”
In that moment, my heart dropped and if the music wasn't playing over the radio, they probably would have heard my little gasp. But I didn’t want to overthink his answer.
I didn’t want to believe that he was referring to me.
But then he looked back at me again, his eyes steady on the mirror and I couldn't do much but stare back.
It confused the hell out of me.
“He was the one sneaking glances at me through his rear view,” I finally respond after popping the rest of the orange slices into my mouth.
“BITCH! He did not.” Now Ryen is the one pulling attention toward us and recognizes it the moment the volume of her words echo.
I don’t know why I do it, but I turn my head, looking directly over at the table where I know the boys are at, and sure enough, Zach is looking our way.
He’s sitting at the same table he and my brother normally sit at with all the other football players.
And not too far over are the cheerleaders; Ashley included.
But I don’t let my eyes linger much longer before I turn back to Zach’s, feeling my nerves start to buzz beneath my flesh.
The noise that echoes in the cafeteria suddenly drowns out until the sound of my heart pounding in my chest is all I can hear.
His brown eyes seem to be eating me up, focused on me, and I don’t know what to make of it.
And though it's starting to make me feel slightly out of my comfort zone, I can't seem to look away. Did he hear what we’re talking about?
And if not, then why is he staring in the first place?
It takes a second, but I'm finally able to pull my eyes from his and I focus back on Ryen.
“He did. And he looked confused. Or upset. Or . . . I don’t know,” I whisper, trying to recall the look in his eyes from this morning as he looked at me.