Ten Bridgeport
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Bridgeport
M y divorce settlement with Tom amounted to $200 a month in child support. It wasn’t enough, but I told myself I was lucky he kept up with the payments. I knew in his heart Tom wanted to be a good father. He loved our kids. Sadly, he loved alcohol more.
After we’d been divorced about two years, Tom called.
“Hey, Ava. How ya doin’?”
I recognized his voice, but something was different. “Good, Tom. How’re you?”
“I got some big news.”
Oh shit. “Yes?”
“I’m leavin’ Stamford. The company promoted me.”
My heart rose into my throat. Please don’t come back to New Jersey.
“I’m the new regional sales manager. I’ll be movin’ to Bridgeport, Connecticut next week.”
Thank goodness. Now maybe I’ll get more child support.
“Congratulations,” I said.
“And I’m gettin’ married again!”
I almost dropped the phone. My first thought was, I’m not the only fool.
“Her name’s Elaine, and she has two kids from her first marriage. She’s tryin’ to help me stop drinkin’.”
“You wouldn’t stop drinking for me. Why now?”
“Ava, we were too young to get married. And then you got pregnant.”
“I didn’t get pregnant by myself.”
Static filled the moment.
“I have to go, Tom. Best of luck.”
“Wait, Ava. I’m sorry how things went down between us.”
“Are you apologizing?” I asked.
“I guess so. Elaine and I were wonderin’ if we could have the kids for the summer. I wanna be a dad to them. Whadda ya say?”
I remained silent.
“I know it’s outta the blue, but think about it,” Tom said. “How ’bout Elaine and I stop by on Saturday? Once you meet her, I know you’ll change your mind.”
“Okay. But I’m not making any promises.”
I don’t know how long I sat with my hand resting on the phone. Memories of Tom floated through my mind like a bad melody. Did he think he could waltz back into my life with a new identity, new wife, new job, and new home for my kids?
For the first time in years, I wished I had a mother I could call for advice. An imaginary conversation took place in my head.
Mom, what should I do? Do I want him back in my life?
He never beat your kids.
But they saw him beat me. They have the scars.
You heard the change in his voice. The kids won’t be alone with him. Maybe it’s time to let go and give your babies a father.
The voices in my head faded. I tried conjuring up an image of my mother, but all I saw was the blurred outline of my grandmother who’d been dead for years. Was she my guardian angel? I’d made enough bad decisions in my life. Maybe it was time to connect with her spirit and wisdom. I decided to keep an open mind.
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I took off two nights from dancing so I’d have a clear head when I met Tom and Elaine. Tommy was six years old, so I knew he’d remember his father. Lee was a baby when we divorced. I doubted he’d recognize Tom.
My apartment was spotless. I made sandwiches and iced tea.
“Daddy!” Tommy ran to his father.
“Hey, sport,” Tom said, picking up his son.
I held three-year-old Lee. “Remember Daddy?”
My baby boy studied the strange man in our living room.
Tom looked better than I’d ever seen him. He seemed taller, stronger, healthier. His eyes were clear, and his smile genuine.
“Where’s Elaine?” I asked.
“Parking the car. She’ll be here in a sec.”
“Daddy, come see our room!” Tommy took his father’s hand and led him upstairs to their bedroom.
Elaine tentatively knocked on my open door. It was an awkward moment for both of us, but I decided to do what I could to make her feel at home.
Elaine and I were polar opposites: I was petite, blond, and blue-eyed; she was tall and statuesque with dark-brown hair and eyes. We stared at each other.
“Come in.” I invited her to sit on the couch.
Elaine’s soft southern accent calmed me. She showed me photos of her eight-year-old twin boys, who were staying with their father until Tom and Elaine got settled.
After lunch, my kids left us to play in their room. Elaine opened the discussion I’d been dreading.
“Tom and I would love it if Tommy and Lee could stay with us for the summer. I’ll be teaching kindergarten starting in the fall, so I’ll be home all day.”
“I know you’re worried ’bout me,” Tom said, “but I stopped drinkin’.”
“Why now, Tom?”
“Bad timing, I guess. I know things weren’t good between us. I told Elaine all about it. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
I noticed he didn’t apologize.
“We’re renting a three-bedroom ranch. They’ll have their own room, just like here,” Elaine said.
Not like here. I sleep on the couch.
“I need to think about it,” I said.
We said our goodbyes.
I went back to work the next evening. After my shift, I told Tina about Tom and Elaine.
“Might be good for your kids to spend some time with their dad,” Tina said.
“He is sober, and I like Elaine.”
“It would give you a break, too,” Tina said.
I nodded. I wasn’t one hundred percent sold on the idea, but it wasn’t fair to keep the kids away from their father.
The next day, I called my attorney and initiated proceedings for shared custody. Two months later, I strapped the kids into the back of my Mustang and drove to Bridgeport. I held in my tears as Tommy and Lee hugged their father. I waved goodbye and sobbed the entire drive home.