14
IT WAS MIRANAa??S turn to look away. She looked at Entti, who was still seated on the bench, mending the hem of the gown, seemingly paying no heed to them now.
She was even humming to herself. It didna??t matter.
Mirana drew a deep breath, and said, looking at Rorika??s left ear, a??If I say that you can trust me, if I promise I wona??t try to escape youa??a??
a??You mean try to escape me again.a??
a??Aye, again. Well, what will you do? Will I still be your slave?
Your prisoner, your hostage?a?? Even as she spoke, he was shaking his head, but she couldna??t prevent the questions, for they welled up in her.
a??Will I remain an outsider, to be despised and hated by all your men?
Will you chain me to your bed? In the warship, will you set your foot on my neck?
If I refuse to call you lord will you whip me and fling me to the ground? a??
a??Nay,a?? he said, and nothing more.
She waited, but he remained quiet.
a??I do not understand you,a?? she said at last. a??You say you wona??t hurt me again, but what will you do?a??
a??I would have you wed with me.a??
The words, completely unplanned, lay heavy between them.
Rorik sucked in his breath, but no more words came out.
By the gods, hea??d said it, asked her to be his wifea??surely hea??d known he would have to take another wife again before he was too old to beget sons and daughters.
Nay, but with her that wasna??t all there was to it.
He wanted a family againa??the warmth, the giving, the joy and the pain.
He wanted all of it. It had been so damned long, too long.
He hadna??t realized until the words had come out of his mouth how very much alone hea??d been, how inward hea??d grown, how empty he felt.
But to take to wife this woman whoa??d come to him in such a way?
This woman hea??d stolen? This woman whose half-brother was his sworn enemy?
Well, hea??d said it, and he knew himself well enough to realize that somewhere deep inside him, perhaps very deep, buried under layer upon layer of cold logic, he must, for some important reason, want her for his wife.
He wanted her for himself. It was a mystery.
He waited. He refused to think about the Danish king in Dublin, that jowly vein-handed old King Sitric, and what he wanted and what he was prepared to pay Einar to gain.
Mirana didna??t move either. She knew he would say no more.
To wed with him . . . Hea??d shown no caring for her, not really.
Hea??d not even shown lust for her, for when hea??d caressed her breasts, it had been his mana??s punishment, not for any pleasure either of them would get out of it, not to appease his mana??s appetites.
She didna??t understand him, but she knew that he was a man she could trust. Looked at from that attitude, it was really quite simple.
There was nothing for her back at Clontarf, save Einar, and the thought of being with him again curdled her belly.
Rorik Haraldsson was a man to trust, a man to depend on.
She also admitted to herself that he was a handsome animal, lean and strong and powerful.
He wasna??t stupid, and he was brave. And he was smarter than other men, despite what Entti had said.
He didna??t ever count the cost to himself.
He was a man she could admire. His bad habits, his likes and dislikes, werena??t yet all that clear to her.
If she married him she would learn them soon enough, as he would hers.
Still, to wed a man shea??d only known as her enemy. Was there nothing left to her in Ireland? Was her home irrevocably gone from her? She felt tears building, felt the knot in her throat. She willed the tears away and swallowed the knot.
Rorik understood her confusion, her wariness.
He also saw the sheen of tears in her eyes, but he didna??t touch her, didna??t try to comfort her.
She was a woman who despised weakness in herself.
He wouldna??t shame her by calling attention to what she would see as a fault in herself.
She didna??t know him, not really, and Hawkfell Island wasna??t her home.
She was a stranger here, and in her mind, how then could she belong?
He wanted to keep quiet, he didna??t want her fear to bring her to acceptance of him, or her seeming lack of choices, but he realized suddenly that he wanted her very much to agree to wed him, he wanted to take no chances.
He supposed that he didna??t mind not being certain why she agreed, only that she would agree.
Thus, he said, a??My man, Kron, just returned from Dublin. He was my eyes and ears at the court there. I knew that the king had dealings with your half-brother, but I didna??t understand the nature of them. I wanted very much to know.a??
Rorik drew a deep breath. a??Kron told me that King Sitric has negotiated with Einar to buy you, to make you his wife.
If you return to Clontarf, you will be given over to the king and Einar will gain even more silver and slaves and power, and you will be abused by an old man.a?? She would still be a queen, but Rorik knew that such a thing would not sway her. Strange, but he knew it to be true.
She stared up at him, surprised and horrified, yet it wasna??t so unlike Einar to betray her or anyone else for that matter.
But to sell his own half-sister to King Sitric, to that paunchy old man shea??d met only once some six months before?
Hea??d smelled of sickness and of age, and any pity she might have had for him vanished when hea??d looked at her as would a hungry man at a honey-sweetened almond.
He was old enough to be her grandfather; he was old enough to have been dead for many years.
Shea??d borne his fulsome flattery, his old mana??s touches on her cheek and on her arm, though shea??d hated it.
Shea??d remained polite to him, shea??d remained respectful, shea??d kept her eyes down whenever possible so he couldna??t see the distaste she felt for him.
There had been the other old man with him, his advisor, Hormuze, an old man with a long gray beard and brilliant dark eyes that seemed to regard the world with deep cynicism, and a belly as paunchy as that of the old king, who never left his side.
Did he have a part in this? By the gods, she would never have dreamed that the king could want her for his wife.
Why her? She was not a princess of significant holdings, not a daughter of a great household to woo and hopefully gain in an alliance. It made no sense to her.
a??I would protect you,a?? Rorik said, once again speaking when he wanted to keep his mouth shut, but the words just kept rolling out of him.
a??You would be my wife and safe from both Einara??s plotting and the kinga??s lust.a?? He was pleading his casea??though he sounded only calm and reasonablea??like a lovesick swain, which was ridiculous, but still he didna??t like seeing himself in the role of supplicant to a damned woman.
He shut his mouth. Hea??d said enough, more than enough.
She looked up at Rorik, recognized the tension in him, and wondered at it. She also recognized a basic truth deep inside herself. What Einar had done hadna??t really pushed her toward wedding with Rorik. No, shea??d already decided.
Rorik was indeed a handsome man. Shea??d seen him naked and found him interesting, more than interesting, truth be told, fascinating.
His body was intriguing, so very different from hers, all bronzed and lightly furred with golden hair, his body lean, his strength exciting as it was deadly, aye, those differences were dazzling, they made her eager to know more, to learn things shea??d never really considered significant before.
He was dangerous and that made her want to test those boundaries as well, for she imagined that it was all tied up in his warriora??s essence.
He was dangerous and he was vital and she wanted to learn about him, all of him.
She smiled at him and watched his eyes widen just a bit.
Surely he couldna??t know what shea??d been thinking.
a??I have never before seen you smile,a?? he said as he continued to stare at her. a??It makes you look different, softer perhaps. I would also hear you laugh.a??
a??Mayhap you will smile for me soon. Mayhap even laugh for me as well.a??
He gave her a wary look.
She said now, the smile gone from her face, a??You, Lord Rorik, I have tested mightily.
The gods know I have pushed you and tormented you and made you want to strangle me.
Despite all this, if you wish it, I will wed you, my lord, and I will be constant as the North Star.
I will never allow another to harm you as long as I have breath in my body.a??
Rorik smiled and Mirana found it the most beautiful smile shea??d ever seen in her life.
Suddenly, Entti laughed, slapping her hands on her knees, laughing until her eyes teared.
Both Rorik and Mirana stared at her. She laughed louder.
The gown slid off her lap to the ground.
a??Ah,a?? she said, gasping for breath, a??it is too much.
The two of you are like proud yet noble warriors, uncertain that you arena??t still enemies, circling each other.
You call for marriage and you strut out all your warrior attributes, admire each attribute in the other, then prattle on about your honor.
There is no talk of affection, of caring, only all these manly virtues each of you seek in the other.
By all the gods, it is a wondrous amusement, this courting dance you two have performed.a?? She began laughing again, now hugging her sides.