Chapter Thirty-Four
In which the gloves are off.
Ava…
Roman takes us back to the penthouse.
I'm plastered against my door, as far away from Dmitri as humanly possible. I can't look at him without seeing that unholy grin on his face. He tries to take my hand and I yank it away like it's on fire. I hear his sharp inhale of breath, but he doesn't touch me again.
"How are you doing, sister-in-law?" Roman asks. "That was more than our usual dose of violence, even by Bratva standards." He chuckles a little and it dies off when I don't answer him.
I've never been more grateful to see our building.
"See you tomorrow," Roman says quietly, but I'm already out of the car and speedwalking toward the penthouse elevator. I ride up without waiting for Dmitri. Stepping out, I stare as the doors close and it descends back to the parking lot.
When Dmitri steps out of the elevator, yanking at his tie with a bloody hand, I lose it. All my thoughts spiral in a terrified whirlwind. "Wh- what the fuck was that?"
"An ambush," he says. "Gunfire. The right people survived."
"You were laughing when you broke that man's arm! You told him you were going to kill his wife and children." My voice is high and shrill, it's ugly. "His children, Dmitri? Are you a fucking monster?"
His face doesn't change expression so much as darken, like a shadow covers it. "Ah. Of course." He turns toward the elevator, his head drops.
Is he going to leave?
Spinning, he takes a slow, deliberate step towards me. "You're perfectly comfortable with violence as long as you're being protected. Correct?"
"That's not– what I saw– "
"What you saw…" His eyes narrow, his mouth a thin slash across his face as he stalks me though the penthouse, "was your husband protecting you. But since the threat wasn't directly to you, what I did was wrong. Monstrous."
My back hits the granite counter in the kitchen and I grip the edge. A burning shame sears my skin. I'm defensive, ashamed, still equal parts furious and scared, so I attack. "It was monstrous! No matter what the reason."
"You're selfish, Ava, a hypocrite. You're a coward." All the animation drains from his face, even the anger. When his eyes meet mine, he looks at me with indifference, a gaze so cold that I feel it to my bones. "I despise cowards."
"I'm not a coward!" I shout. "You- you were laughing as you told him you were going to kill his family. Is that who you really are?"
"I thought you were brave," he muses. "That the woman who ran down the hall and into my arms was strong enough to accept who I am and the shadow world that I'm part of. I have no place in my life for a little girl who's afraid of the dark, unless it serves her interests."
I sag against the counter, feeling like he'd punched me in the heart. "W- what? We're married."
Conveniently omitting that you lost your shit on the flight home when you found out those vows were meant for life?
"Dmitri…" I whisper. "Please, can we talk about this? Can you help me understand?"
"If you don't understand by now," he says indifferently, "you never will." He checks his watch. "I have to leave. I have some interrogation to do." When he smiles at me, it's the sharp, wolf-like one with his pointed canines, the face of a man who's ready to tear his screaming victim's throat out.
I jump half a foot as the elevator door opens and I try one more time. "Dmitri…" It comes out as a whisper, my dry throat choking around the words that I want to say. That he shouldn't fucking walk away from me. That he needs to explain why he did it.
"I've wasted my time on you," he says, as if it's a revelation. "You won't have to see my monstrous nature again"
Rurik and Matvey step into the hall, exchanging a quick word with him as he leaves. As the door shuts, I see his face. Cold and remote. Like I'm a stranger to him. Like I no longer matter.