Chapter Forty
In which Dmitri and Ava do the couple's communication thing.
Dmitri…
Ava is silent as I put her in the car. I find some wipes, gently cleaning her off as Demid drives us home.
Finally, she stirs. "We need to go see Rurik at the clinic," she says. Her voice is so small. "Is he alive? Is he dead because of me?"
Matvey answers before I can. "Ava," he glances at her in the rearview mirror. "Everyone in the Bratva is prepared to give their life at any moment for you. Rurik and I both knew this. Dr. Morozova says he's in critical condition. But he is alive."
She puts her hand on his shoulder and he pats it lightly before putting his hand back on the wheel. By interrupting me, he broke protocol, but I'll overlook it.
"Do you want me to call my mother?" I ask.
"Please," she says fervently.
Fortunately, Mother picks up on the second ring and I put her on speaker.
"Rurik is alive," she says instantly. "He must've turned just in time for the bullet to pass by his heart.
I had to dig it out, and there's some damage to his right lung, but he's going to recover.
A bullet isn't enough to stop a mountain of a man like him. "
"Oh, thank God." Ava starts sobbing.
They exchange some medical jargon that I don't fully understand before Ava agrees to go home.
"You can see him tomorrow," Mother says firmly. "Let Dmitri take care of you."
Bidding her goodnight, I hang up, pulling Ava closer. "Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No, just scraped up," she says, burrowing into my chest. "Can we sit like this for a minute?"
"Of course." I stroke her tangled hair, listening to her soft, shuddering sigh as Demid turns into our parking garage. "Ah, I have something for you." I fish her wedding ring from my pocket and hold up her hand.
When she realizes I'm waiting for an answer to my unspoken question, she gives me the sweetest smile. "Yes, please."
Her wedding ring slides on easily and she holds up her hand. "I love this ring," she says. "How did you find it? He ripped it off my finger when he and that pasty undead ghoul dragged me out of the office building."
"Smith? That's the perfect description," I say. "He looked like a cadaver."
And now he is one, I think. But I don't say it out loud.
"I can walk," she protests as I scoop her out of the car and carry her to the elevator.
"I'm sure you can," I lie. "But I'm going to carry you anyway."
The penthouse is quiet, empty of guards for once, just the two of us as I carry her into the master bath.
I start the shower, steam filling the bathroom as I pull off my clothes and then hers, gently handling her battered feet and hands.
Sitting on the shower bench, I put her on my lap, gently working shampoo through her hair, running soap over her skin, and rinsing her poor, raw hands.
Her head is down, her hair falling in a curtain around her face.
When I pull back to get a towel, she grabs me.
"Wait- are you leaving?"
"I'm not going anywhere," I promise. Wrapping her in a towel, I bring her to bed, finding her softest socks and underwear before putting her in one of my T-shirts.
"I love you." Cupping her face, I kiss her forehead.
"I should've said it to you first, because I've loved you since you refused to go home after being kidnapped at Adam’s wedding, dancing with me, drinking champagne like nothing could stop you.
" Ava's lips part slightly, and I give into temptation, kissing her.
"I married you because I love you, and I should've said that then instead of pretending it was all about protection.
If I had told you the truth then, that I loved you, I wanted to be with you, would you have said yes? "
She nods, but I put my finger on her chin, making her look at me. "Yes," she says, "I would have. I love you. You put a tracking chip in my wedding ring?" She shakes her head. "Well, do you have one in yours?"
"That's a fair question," I agree. "No, though I do have one embedded in my arm. The entire family does."
"You are all chipped?" she asks incredulously.
"I guess if you get lost someone can take you to the vet to get scanned and they'll call me.
Though I can't even give you shit about it because today proved your point.
" She's silent for a moment. "I have to apologize to you.
I should have told you this right away."
"Told me what?" I frown, my thumb stroking over her cheek.
"I'm pregnant." Her watery eyes look up at me.
"You're… pregnant," I repeat stupidly.
"Pregnant." She nods, a little smile creeping over her face.
"I think it was from our first night together, remember?
What kind of medical professional thinks pulling out is a good birth control method?
" She's laughing giddily and then, so am I.
Clutching each other, finding this the most fucking hilarious thing in the world.
"We've been so responsible since that first night," I squeeze her.
"I blame you," she wheezes, "your swimmers must be Olympic-level fellas."
"When did you find out?" I ask.
"The day after we got married," she says. "I realized I hadn't had my period the entire time I've been with you, because I'm just so alert like that. I will defend myself by saying that I've always had irregular cycles, but still, you would think that would've occurred to me."
I kiss her cheek, her forehead, the tip of her nose. "I know how women's bodies work, I didn't think to ask."
"I should've told you that day," she says.
"Then we're ambushed as soon as we step foot on US soil. You must have been terrified, thinking about the baby."
"I screamed at you," she says. "I took out all my fear on you and called you things that can't be taken back."
"Words, I can forgive. I was just as bad. I hated you seeing me like that and I was furious you were in danger. So I took it out on you. You're no coward. I've always known how brave you are." Leaning against the pillows, I lift her onto my lap, pulling the covers over us.
"Dmitri, are you okay? Really?"
"About the baby?" I stroke the soft skin of her back. "I haven't really thought about children. I knew I would have to produce children eventually as Pakhan."
"Produce children?" she laughs.
"That sounded impersonal as fuck, didn't it?" I chuckle, jostling her on my lap. "I'm going to be a father, and having a baby with you? Yes, Magpie, I am so happy. I vow to you; our children will be safe."
"As safe as they can be," she says. "I know, in the way your mother does, that no one is really safe all of the time. But that doesn't keep me from believing that we can have a happy life together, like your parents have. They prove it can be done."
"We need to talk about what you saw that night," I say reluctantly, feeling her stiffen against me and hating it. "You saw me smiling when I was threatening that fuck. I have fought my demon since I was a child."
"Your demon?" She turns around, straddling me, taking my hands.
"When I was ten or so, I started having violent outbursts. I got angry so easily. My parents put me in boxing, martial arts. Anything to work the anger out of me. I suspect my father was afraid that I was like his father. He was a cruel, vicious bastard."
"Until that night, I would have had a hard time believing that," she says. "You're so composed."
"I learned to control it. I was able to discipline myself into thinking and not reacting. Focusing on the problem instead of letting rage take over."
I met her eyes. "In some ways, we have very similar challenges, my Magpie.
Staying focused, staying with what matters in the moment.
I've kept my demon locked away for so long.
When you came careening into my life there was something about you, the protectiveness I felt, that let him loose.
He started pushing to be let out again and when he is, I am savage.
I am monstrous. I enjoy crushing anyone who threatens you. "
She's listening with a frown, but she doesn't let go of my hands. "Is that why you head for the gym and beat shit out of your heavy bag some nights before you come looking for me?"
"I'm putting the demon back in the box, yes," I nod. "You need to understand what I said to that man was psychological. The Morozov Bratva does not hurt women or children. I'm vicious, I know. I can be brutal. But not with you. I will never be that way with you, or our child."
"I believe you," she says. "Though this demon of yours, maybe squishing him down didn't help either. Maybe letting him run loose every now and then when you can control it, isn't such a bad thing."
Ava meets my gaze, unflinching. Sliding my hand over her stomach, I feel the warmth and softness of her skin. "Have you felt anything yet?"
"No," she says, putting her hand on top of mine. "And I'm glad.?"
"Why?" I ask.
"Because I want us to feel it together."
We stay in bed, talking and kissing, discussing baby names until my phone buzzes angrily.
"We have to get up and go talk to people, don't we?" she says a little sadly. "You have responsibilities."
"Nothing that my brothers can't handle." I rub my forehead with a groan. "Though I suspect my father is going to schedule a very long talk with me tomorrow."
"Why?"
"I may have blown up my Newtown Creek project tonight," I admit, rubbing the back of my neck. "And possibly nine other construction sites around Manhattan."
Ava looks horrified. "You what?"
"Between all that Semtex and destruction and the sound of Will's Jersey accent coming back as he begged for mercy?" I smile malevolently. "I think my demon is going to be sated for a long, long time."
She gives me a dark little grin that is insanely attractive. "I'll bet your demon loved tonight, didn't he? You losing your cool and blowing shit up?"
Rolling her on her back, I hover over her. "You've just been introduced and already, you know him so well."