Chapter Twelve #2
Stop it! He pleaded, and the impression dropped away.
Archie opened his eyes and shuddered. He was still alone in the library, looking at the blank wall next to the fireplace, except now he knew there were people on the other side.
He felt repulsed, knowing that he was was violating their privacy even though anyone sensible shouldn't be doing that in such a public place anyway.
Were you... feeding on them? Archie felt vaguely sick, thinking back to his conversation with Prince Ixthan. I thought you only fed on me. Isn't that part of the deal?
Is it? Damaris sounded genuinely puzzled. Archie wished he'd been more in his right mind when he'd made that deal and could remember it more clearly. That would have killed you.
Archie's gut clenched. What do you mean?!
A jumble of thoughts landed in Archie's mind all at the same time, a crush of images and thoughts that took him a moment to sift through.
An impression again of Damaris the first time he'd managed to pass into the mortal realm, weak and existing only as a sliver of magic.
The memories were vague, more of an impression than an image since Damaris himself barely had a consciousness back then, but he'd drifted in the wind until he managed to slide into the body of an animal, and then another, until he finally found the shadow of a farmer who carried him into the city, where he'd discovered the overwhelming scent of humans all around.
Except without his magic, Damaris wasn’t strong enough to even feed properly so he drifted along as a shadow.
He relied on dribs and drabs of emotion he sensed from passing humans, soaking them up whenever they crossed his path.
Humans desired so much. From there, he gained the ability to move himself, siphoning up the energy from any desire that dipped into his shadow until he came across a better meal.
His timing was fortunate, the Season had started, with new faces being introduced at court and young people keen to match, everyone who had summered in the countryside suddenly back and excited to reconnect with their friends.
Damaris hadn't known their purpose then, nor could he make sense of what was happening since he didn't understand the human language, but he had gravitated towards these parties like a sunflower following the sun.
Over time, he absorbed enough that his memories returned and his sentience sharpened, allowing him to puzzle out the sounds that humans made and connect it into language.
His magic powers were still weak, but humans were easily influenced, he found.
Archie flushed at that, detaching himself from the bundle of thoughts to stew in his own indignation and embarrassment for a moment.
The curiosity got the better of him though, so Archie firmly put his own discomfort aside and dived back into the memories.
Damaris had discovered that it was easy to ignite desire in humans, or perhaps his magic responded more potently in this realm than in his own, so he had only had to stretch out here and there.
He would flick a little whisper or thought that the human was inclined to think already, encouraging it like a gardener with a seedling.
What are the different colors? asked Archie, trying to distract himself from thinking too much about seeing other people in such a state, some of whom he recognized even though the warped perspective of Damaris viewing them through a shadow.
Damaris’s weight changed in Archie’s mind – a frown.
Humans separate different energies in ways we do not distinguish.
And we too separate energies in ways humans do not distinguish.
He brought up several memories of fires, lamps, lanterns, which all glowed a hazy orange.
You call this heat. Another set of images, this time of humans all with a multitude of different auras superimposed on them.
Damaris stopped, as if he was struggling to explain it in concepts that would make sense to Archie, and then seemed to switch tack.
Archie cringed back so hard the armchair rocked slightly on its back legs as numerous images of himself from Damaris's perspective flicked through his mind like pages of a book. All of them were from some distorted angle, depending on whether Damaris had been watching him from a shadow on the ground or the reflection of a window somewhere. He could place a fair few in his recollection from the clothing he’d been wearing or the weather or some other identifying detail.
Even though he'd already confirmed that Damaris had been watching him much earlier than Archie knew, it was still a jolt to see it so blatantly before him.
In each of them, Archie was a patchwork of different colors.
Except the more images Damaris showed him, the more Archie noticed a pattern.
Even when there were more energies coming from him, there was always an underlay of blue and purple, deep and rich.
Everything else, the reds and greens and golds, came and went, but through it all, he was stained blue-purple in Damaris's vision.
All of them feed me, but I like the taste of this the most, said Damaris, indicating the purple.
Is this… desire?
Hunger, yes. For people. There are many desires, said Damaris.
Archie barely allowed himself to think the word. Even in the privacy of his mind to a demon who already knew it, it felt too much. He whispered it. Sexual desire.
A curl of satisfaction came from Damaris, and it was impossible to distinguish what was his own emotion and what was Damaris's.
That seemed the end of the stream of memories from the demon but Damaris's presence was still there in his mind.
Waiting, Archie realized, for him to respond or ask more questions or.
.. something. It was a patience that was unfamiliar to Archie, the gentle silence unnerving.
He took a moment, pretending he needed to save his page in the book and put it aside, or adjust his seat because his leg was going numb.
Archie sat back, trying to detach his feelings for long enough to think through some of what he just saw.
So demons see the world in terms of different kinds of energies.
And because you can see it, you can reach out and interact with it, in the same way that I can feel the heat of a fire getting low and put wood on to build it up again, or use it to light a lamp.
We can't do that, so we call it magic. Is that right?
Yes. Though I do not think that is important to you right now, said Damaris with some amusement.
I'm getting there, said Archie mulishly. There was a little ruffle in his mind, as if Damaris was settling himself down too. Archie carefully thought his way around it again. And this energy, it's also what you feed on. Can you feed on all of it?
Yes. But same as for humans, some food is better than others.
Damaris demonstrated, extending a tendril out until Archie could see it, an unnatural black shadow that appeared out from the foot of the armchair towards the fireplace.
He felt it first, the pull of magic on the fire, and then he saw it too, the shrinking of flames that then spluttered out, leaving only the glowing husks of wood burned through too fast.
The magic felt strange inside him, as if he had stuffed a handful of dirt down his throat, grainy and dry inside his body, pouring like sand into the crevices between his ribs. He clutched at his torso and dry coughed as if that would get rid of it. Oh gods, this feels awful.
Precisely, said Damaris glumly. He pulsed, rolling it all back up like a lumpy boulder of magic inside of Archie’s chest that threatened to choke him.
Archie got the distinct sense of regurgitation as Damaris thrust it all back out, the fireplace suddenly blazing so high Archie felt the heat blast his face.
He gagged, even though there wasn’t anything really there.
If I must, I can sustain myself on heat.
It's why so many demons are keen to cross over into the human realm, humans constantly prefer to live in warmth.
But it is far better to make a deal with a human to gain access to the kinds of energies that truly nourish.
Damaris's shadow retreated and Archie felt a sensation almost as if Damaris had run a hand through his hair.
He swallowed. So the idea of a succubus...
Ha. A human concept. Your human hierarchy of what energies are acceptable are baffling to us.
Many of my brethren prefer to feed on the energies you call anger or sadness, which are as common as desire, and is desire not more preferable to feel?
A stray thought leaked from Damaris, and Archie winced.
He would have preferred not to have known that some of the king's mages were making deals with demons that fed on pain.
Finally, Archie could not avoid the crux of this conversation. What about us then? I thought that if I made myself... available for you, you would feed on me. If I fulfill your hunger, you would also make it pleasurable for me.
Yes. Is it not pleasurable for you? It seems you have been enjoying yourself, said Damaris archly.
Archie pressed his face into his hands even though there was no one around to see him. This was not a conversation he'd ever thought he'd have with anyone, let alone a demon. What about the... people next door? What about them?
They are a snack. Something to whet my appetite before my next meal. Which I intend to have soon, added Damaris pointedly.
Archie struggled to order his thoughts and articulate them in a way that Damaris would understand. But you’re not… engaging with them.