Chapter 17 #2
“I want the Variks to be a true clan. I want to offer Gideon, Lola, and Ryder the kind of security you’ve given your clan members.”
Philippe’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but words never came out. Some of the anger had been sucked out of his frame, but the hard line of his lips made it clear it wasn’t all gone. “Why? Why did you wait so long?”
“Julianna Varik.” Rafe’s voice caught on her name. He hadn’t spoken of his mother with Philippe before. He’d never spoken about her with anyone. It almost felt like a betrayal of a family secret, but he trusted Philippe.
His lover’s bright-green eyes darted away, and he stared at the carpet. “I heard she was ill.”
That was an understatement. Vampires didn’t become ill. They were never anything but the perfection they were reborn to. But Julianna Varik had been very ill.
“I loved my mother, Philippe. In my world, she was grace, kindness, and warmth. She was love. She adored her children and she adored Aiden.”
“She sounds quite amazing.”
Rafe had to turn away from his companion.
He couldn’t meet his eyes. It wasn’t just a secret, but a dark shame they all carried.
A failure. Not that she was ill. That was no one’s fault.
Just a horrible twist of fate or genetics.
No, the failure was that they hadn’t been able to help her, save her after everything she’d given them.
Others knew whispers, but no one outside their family had ever been given the full, unadulterated truth.
“She was a bit mad before she was turned. Nothing too dreadful. Just full of fanciful tales, and we’d occasionally catch her whispering to no one.
Would have called them hallucinations now in modern psychology.
” He paused and cleared his throat against the lump that had grown there.
The world seemed to close in and grow a bit darker.
It had been only a few months since her murder, and the wound was still fresh.
“Rafe, you don’t have to—”
“I do!” Rafe whirled back around to face Philippe.
He clenched his teeth as helpless rage swelled in his chest. “You make the Variks sound like elitist snobs, but no one understands why we have always been so closed. Why the Variks didn’t associate with anyone.
No one considered that we might be protecting you from Julianna. ”
“I…I didn’t realize…but…” Philippe stammered, seeming to struggle for the words.
“She went mad. When Aiden changed her, something…something broke in her mind. We used the music to control her, to make her pliable and calm.” Rafe closed his eyes, balling his hands into fists at his sides.
“Her illness was the entire reason my brothers and I became vampires. It was the only chance we had of protecting her and protecting the world from her.”
The silence stretched through the room and Rafe had to finally look up at Philippe. The beautiful angel looked stricken, his lips parted and his cheeks pale. Those perfect green eyes glistened like wet grass after a summer storm.
“How could we dare bring in an outsider? Who could we trust with such a secret?”
Philippe’s gaze flicked to Rafe, and his throat moved. Rafe had a feeling Philippe wanted to say he could be trusted. At the very least, Rafe believed that.
Rafe shook his head. “I’d never have risked your life.” His voice was rough and low. “Do you know how close I’ve come to losing my brothers over the years? To losing Bel?” The question was nearly lost as his voice broke. “The last time…she nearly killed him. I wanted to strangle her myself.”
“She attacked him? Attacked you?”
“Not my mother. Never Julianna,” Rafe whispered when he could speak again. “The monster living in her brain. That fed her evil lies about her family.”
Philippe was suddenly there, his arms wrapping tightly around Rafe, filling him with a sense of warmth and love he hadn’t realized was missing.
He clutched Philippe to him, pressing his face into Philippe’s hair.
Breathing deep, he dragged in the scent of oranges and fresh linen, hints of bergamot and something he could only label the beauty of Philippe.
Those scents would be forever linked to a feeling of love and home.
“I’m sorry, mon amour. So very sorry you’ve suffered such pain. That your brothers suffered.”
“We never stopped loving her. We had brief periods of quiet, where we had our true mother, but…”
“But it was always in the back of your mind that it was temporary. You worried about your twin. All your brothers if you were not with them.”
It was with some reluctance that Rafe released his hold on Philippe and took a step away so he could clearly look into his face.
“I’m telling you this family secret so that you understand us.
We take family very seriously. I had to be able to trust my family completely, or I would never have survived those years with my mother.
They had to trust me in return. I don’t cast doubt on your family members lightly. ”
Philippe frowned at Rafe, but there was none of the earlier anger cutting lines in his face. “I believe you.”
“I have no desire to hurt you, but if you don’t at least consider this potential threat, then you risk more of your people being killed.”
Releasing Rafe completely, Philippe walked over to the sofa and dropped onto the worn cushions.
He looked utterly drained. “I have. In my darker moments, the thought has occurred to me.” He shook his head before looking back up at Rafe.
“But how do you look at your own family, the people you trust so completely, and try to figure out who might have a reason to start killing people they should see as a brother or sister?”
“I don’t know, but I think you need to speak with my brothers.
Particularly Winter and Marcus.” Rafe walked over and kneeled in front of Philippe so he could meet his gaze.
“As much as I hate to admit this, I am at the end of my wisdom. I’ve tapped every resource I have, listened to every rumor, and I have nothing.
” Rafe cocked his head to the side and smiled.
“I’ll be right there if you wish. I swear I’ll deny it later if you repeat it, but Winter and Marcus are far more in tune with the darker side of our world.
If anyone can find your killer, it will be them. ”
Philippe graced him with half a smile. “I’ll think about it. I’m overdue for a meeting with Marcus anyway.”
Rafe continued to kneel on the floor, one hand on Philippe’s knee, traced little designs in the soft jeans with the tip of his index finger.
There was another thought playing around in his brain that could solve a number of problems for Philippe, but he feared the explosion would be even worse than the one he’d just experienced over accusing someone within the Arsenault clan.
But in for a penny…
“I did have another thought,” Rafe said slowly, as he carefully chose each word before it left his tongue. “One you’re likely to be as angry about as my last one.”
“About whom my killer might be?”
“No, a possible solution to help add a new layer of protection,” Rafe chanced a glance up at Philippe. “And solve our personal dilemma.”
Both of Philippe’s eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Really? And you say I’m not going to like it?”
“Very likely hate it.” Rafe paused and rolled his eyes. “Very likely to throw me out over just thinking it.”
“An offense worth ejecting you from the house? Now I’m intrigued. This is the kind of wicked I was expecting when I first thought of meeting with you.” Philippe reached out and pushed his fingers through Rafe’s hair, causing his eyes to fall shut under the caress. “Tell me.”
He wanted to fucking moan under Philippe’s touch. Nothing had ever been so heavenly. “I don’t think I will. I’m rather enjoying this, and you’ll stop if I tell you.”
“Rafe.”
“Nope, quite serious. I think I’ve angered you enough tonight.”
“Tell me.”
“Promise you won’t get angry.”
“You know I can’t do that.” Amusement tinted his words.
Rafe forced his eyes to open so he could look at Philippe. “Promise that you’ll try to not be angry. You know it’s not my intent to insult you.”
Philippe’s chuckle sounded weary, but it was still light and airy as it danced around the room. “You mean how I so wonderfully remembered that you didn’t intend to hurt me by saying the killer is within my own clan?”
“Yes, mon ange, but with possibly a little less shouting and stomping on my heart,” Rafe teased, glad Philippe had resumed playing with his hair. He’d never thought he would kneel at someone’s feet, but he found that the position was quite nice when it came to Philippe.
Correction: he never thought he’d do it without sucking a man’s cock, but if he was lucky, he and Philippe could get around to that later.
Philippe laughed again. “Yes, less shouting and no stomping on your heart.”
Rafe eyed him for a moment in wary disbelief. He couldn’t believe he was even considering saying the words out loud. He’d clearly lost his mind.
Or he’d truly fallen in love with Philippe Arsenault.
“Please keep in mind that I’ve spoken to no one about this.
It’s a thought that has been percolating in my brain since we spoke last.” He was stalling.
He knew he was stalling. The smile Philippe was using to hold back his laugh made it clear that he also knew Rafe was stalling, but his lover said nothing.
“What if…the Arsenault clan joined the Varik clan?” Rafe suggested. As soon as the last word left his mouth his entire body tensed up, preparing for the explosion that was about to occur.
“I don’t understand.” The lines returned to Philippe’s smooth brow in confusion, but so far his voice sounded calm, if a little strained.
“Merge the Arsenaults with the Variks. All of you become Variks.”