Chapter 15
Fifteen
“ S o, let me get this straight,” Zoryana mused, her arm linked with Everinne’s as they strolled through the shopping district, their heels clicking against the rough cobblestone.
“The Mystic Obscura is as magical and fantastical as we thought, you met a fae lord with stars in his eyes, and you never want to speak to Prince Atlas again?”
“That’s right.”
Everinne bundled closer into Zoryana’s side, bracing herself against the stiff breeze.
Winter was steadily approaching the Golden City.
It wouldn’t be long before the first snowfall came, and with that, the impending dark.
Already the sun was sinking earlier than the day before, painting the sky in brushstrokes of rose and ruby with wisps of burnished gold.
Everinne and Zoryana had just finished devouring sandwiches of meat and cheese at one of the local cafes where Everinne had divulged the past day’s events.
The only thing she hadn’t mentioned was her run-in with Atlas in her apartment when he’d pinned her to the wall.
She’d swallowed down that little secret with her second helping of apple cake and cinnamon frosting.
Zoryana shook her lush, spiraling curls back from her face, the wind flushing her cheeks. “I’m away from you for barely a day and you manage to live an entirely new life without me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Everinne patted her hand, dipping her chin as another chilly gust of air swept through the streets, biting through the fur of her coat. “I could never live without you.”
Zoryana laughed but it was lighter than usual, not the full and decadent sound that was so familiar. A sigh escaped her and her steps slowed.
“I won’t always be around, Everinne. One day, you’re going to have to learn how to control your magic without relying on me to soothe your emotions.”
Everinne stopped, faltering as they rounded the corner toward her apartment. “I don’t rely on you.”
Zoryana arched a singular dark brow.
“It’s more like I just look to you for guidance.” The lie left a foul taste in Everinne’s mouth.
Before she met Zoryana, she’d been nothing but a shell.
A lost, wandering soul tortured by the haunting memories of her past. With the exception of Veros and sometimes Atlas, Everinne made it a point to avoid any kind of relationship, friendly or otherwise.
It was easier to be alone, to abstain from forming connections with anyone, to evade the emotions that sought to destroy her from the inside out.
Fear and sorrow. Anger and panic. Whenever those sorts of feelings overwhelmed her, they roused the monstrous magic she kept hidden from the rest of the world.
Without friends—and as much as it broke her, without family—Everinne ensured she was never at risk of succumbing to those damning emotions of hers. The ones she felt so keenly.
Unfortunately, she’d deprived herself of happiness and love in the process.
Yet it was worth it, she reminded herself, to keep from harming anyone.
“I’m serious, Ever.” Zoryana reached out, tucking a few wayward strands of Everinne’s dark hair behind her ear. “I can only take on so much before…”
“Before what?” Everinne asked.
Concern knitted across her forehead. She knew Zoryana could absorb the uncomfortable feelings of those around her, it was both an art and a discipline, but she never thought that perhaps Zoryana was left without an outlet to purge them from herself.
Zoryana adjusted the silk handbag dangling from her shoulder and her jade eyes shifted to the cobblestone path beneath their feet. “Before I can’t help you anymore.”
Everinne watched her friend closely, noting the way she idly fidgeted with the pearl button on her coat, the way she rubbed her burgundy painted lips together. No, there was something else there. Something Zoryana wasn’t telling her.
“I don’t understand.” Everinne tilted her head, and her hair fell around her like a curtain of velvet. “What is it?”
Zoryana glanced hastily over her shoulder, then moved closer to avoid being overheard. When she spoke, her voice was hushed. “There’s been some rumors in my coven. Talk of how immortals and other magical beings are disappearing in Prava.”
Everinne nodded, remembering Atlas’s warning from the other night. She’d jokingly asked if he was worried about her, but he hadn’t returned a smile in jest.
Zoryana shivered then, though whether it was from the sun dipping beyond reach of the city streets or the more ominous matter at hand, Everinne couldn’t be sure. “It’s been suggested that we—that I—lie low for a while until the threat passes.”
“I completely agree.”
Zoryana’s lashes fluttered back in shock. “You do?”
“Yes.” Everinne placed her hands upon her shoulders.
“You’re my best friend, Zory. Of course I want to see you safe, especially if there’s any truth in these rumors.
And if that means we have to hide out in my apartment all day, eating lemon berry tarts and drinking honeyfire, then that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. ”
Everinne grinned, and quite honestly couldn’t imagine anything better.
But Zoryana’s shoulders dropped, and a crestfallen, ghost of a smile graced her lips.
This time, Everinne’s frown deepened. “What’s wrong?”
Zoryana shrugged free, shaking her head slightly. She lifted her gaze to Everinne, and her eyes were filled with glimmers of remorse. “I’ll be going into hiding by myself, Everinne.”
Everinne blinked, her arms falling to her side. Surely she didn’t intend to leave Prava, to leave her here…alone. Again. “But can’t I?—”
Zoryana lifted one hand, cutting her off. “The coven has made it clear that I’m to disassociate from you until they deem it safe for me to return to the city again.”
It was as though a blade skewered with white-hot spikes had been driven right into Everinne’s gut. She sucked in a harsh breath, struggling to process the words that left her blood rushing so loudly she could hardly hear herself think.
“Disassociate?” Everinne tossed back, and a gnawing sense of dread clawed up the back of her throat. “What, like we can’t be friends anymore? Are they forbidding you to speak to me?”
A beat of tense silence passed between them, filled with everything Zoryana didn’t say. When she never voiced the denial of the claim, Everinne’s lungs seized tight, and the sting of unbidden tears left her sight blurry.
“You’re too reckless, Everinne.” Though Zoryana’s tone was gentle, it was inflected with cemented accusation. “You make rash decisions with little to no regard for the consequences.”
“That’s not true.” Her words fell flat, ringing in her ears with mocking ridicule.
She knew she was hasty and inattentive, that her wild behavior usually ended with Veros attempting to drag her out of a mess of her own making.
But hearing Zoryana voice such a truth shook the foundation of the protective wall Everinne had so carefully built around herself.
“Really?” Zoryana crossed her arms, cocking one hip to the side. “Name a time when you weighed the good versus the bad before diving headfirst into a situation.”
Everinne opened her mouth, then snapped it shut.
There had to be a time when she’d taken more care, she wasn’t always impulsive.
“Think about it, Everinne.” Zoryana’s face softened and the line of disappointment crinkling her brow smoothed away.
She reached out, gently cupping the side of Everinne’s face.
Her touch was warm, save for the cool press of the moonstone rings she wore against Everinne’s cheek.
“It’s been seventeen years since you killed Callum.
And not once have you tried to regain control of your magic since then.
You let it own your thoughts and dreams. Your emotions feed it because you never use enough of your power to keep the magic inside of you satisfied. ”
Zoryana’s hand fell away, and with it went Everinne’s last scrap of composure.
“Oh, forgive me if I don’t want to go around hurting people all day for practice.” She bit the words off as a violent chill scraped down her spine.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. There are other ways.” Zoryana tilted her head, assessing her, and for the first time in the course of their friendship, Everinne felt the keen intensity of her disapproval. “You’re just scared.”
“Of course I’m scared!” Everinne shouted in a rasping whisper.
She glanced beyond Zoryana, down the emptying streets of the shopping district, to where shadows lengthened.
She could’ve sworn she saw someone lurking, watching, but there was only the shuffle of merchants and vendors as they closed up their carts for the day.
She returned her attention to her friend, unable to prevent the sliver of pain splintering through her.
“I killed a man I loved, Zory. I loved him. And I turned his mind to ash and dust. I watched him wither into nothing right in front of me.” Everinne’s chest heaved, her lungs suddenly too tight.
Each breath was pinched while her heart hammered, despair crippling her resolve.
She hadn’t spoken those words out loud in years. “I killed him.”
Zoryana shook her head, the dangling beaded earrings she wore glinting like droplets of moonlight. “He was a human, Ever. And he was hunting you.”
The memory of what she’d done shattered Everinne’s soul into a thousand broken fragments, weakening her. “A life is still a life.”
Zoryana grabbed her hand and squeezed. “You own your magic, it doesn’t own you.”
But that was where Zoryana was wrong.
It was too late for Callum. Now, it was too late for Everinne as well. At least this way, she could save the one person she thought still cared about her.
Everinne pulled back, slipped her hand from Zoryana’s grasp.
“I’ll see you around, Zory. Maybe.”
Then she turned around and walked away, leaving her friend behind, uncertain if or when she’d ever see her again.
She walked the rest of the way to her apartment by herself, took her time trudging up the stairs. Zoryana may have been wrong about her magic, but she was right about so many other things. Everinne was scared. Terrified, even. Of the dark. Of her own magic. Of losing her only friend.
Oh sure, she could appear fearless in front of anyone, not giving a damn what anyone thought about her, whether or not she regretted her actions later.
But alone, when it was just her and the murmurings of her mind, that was when the beast of despair seized her.
Its mangled claws of misery sank deep into her subconscious, its constant grip of fear strangled her, choked her, subjecting her to the ruthless torment of her power.
Everinne stumbled through her front door as it swung shut behind her, concealing her from the rest of the world as the dark magic simmering beneath her surface awoke.
The power of pain purred its approval as she struggled to maintain control, to force herself to calm down. Volatile magic pulsed to life, preying on the turbulence of her emotions, on the erratic chaos of her mind.
“No.” She pressed her fingers to her temples as she staggered down the hall to her bedroom, desperately trying to fight off the well of violent magic harboring within her.
But the beast had already bared its fangs, pouring from her in a vengeful rush of agonizing pain.
The tip of her shoe caught on one of the wooden beams and she tumbled forward, her knees cracked against the hard ground as threads of darkness swarmed her.
“No,” she whispered again, panting as she toppled over, curling into herself. A rush of cold swept through her bones. Her body trembled, convulsed against the frigid chill that left her teeth chattering.
She could see him clearly then. Callum. Again, she witnessed the way his brown gaze bulged as her merciless retribution sought justice for the crime committed against her.
She invaded him. Owned him. His bones snapped, his harrowing screams echoed as she inflicted the full wrath of her might upon him.
Blood seeped from the corners of his eyes while she released her power, watching as he crumpled to the forest floor in a heap of ruination.
With a twist of her wrist, she shattered his mind until there was nothing left.
He sucked in a final garbled breath, his pulse ceasing to beat.
Until he became an empty shell, just like her.
Whimpering softly, Everinne squeezed her eyes shut, and the nightmares descended upon her.