Chapter 22
After what felt like a lifetime of sleep, I finally began to come around. My body throbbed and ached all over, and I dreaded seeing how I looked after that ordeal. With every ounce of strength I had left, I forced my eyes open, the soft lighting of the bedroom making it easier to come around.
Of course I was in Lorenzo’s bedroom and not my own.
It was a stark contrast to mine, enveloped in shadows and simplicity.
The walls were painted a deep charcoal, absorbing the light and giving the space a cozy yet mysterious ambiance.
Sparse furnishings adorned the room, with only a sleek, black dresser and a minimalist wooden desk standing against the walls.
Heavy, dark curtains hung over the windows, keeping any unwanted light at bay.
I turned my head carefully as pain surged through me, almost taking my breath away.
My gaze landed on Lorenzo, he rubbed his eyes wearily as he sat perched on the edge of the chair, hunched forward, not realising I’d woken up.
His hair was disheveled, and the stubble on his chin was more pronounced than usual.
“L-Lorenzo,” I whispered, my throat dry and raspy.
“Ana,” he breathed, his eyes brightening instantly as he looked up at me. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m f-fine,” I lied, unsure whether he believed me or not.
I didn’t want him to see my weakness. Not after everything. I had to put on a front. I had to show him I wasn’t going to let them break me, despite the days of torture, beatings and endless hours of fear and humiliation that still clung to me like a second skin.
“Don’t lie to me, please.” He sighed, pleading with me, but I couldn’t let him in. I couldn’t let him know how I felt on the inside. It was bad enough he had to see the outside.
“Honestly, I’m just sore, that’s all.” I glanced down at my wrists, and I wished I hadn’t. Angry red marks encircled them like tight bands, a vivid reminder of the struggle. The sight made my stomach twist into knots, nausea rising as I quickly looked away.
Lorenzo’s brow furrowed, his lips pressing into a thin line as regret etched onto his face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner. I tried everything to find you,” he whispered, his voice thick with guilt.
He retrieved a bottle of water on the side table, bringing the straw to my lips to help me drink. “It’s okay. You thought I walked out on you.” I touched his hand, trying to soothe away his guilt in some way.
I painted on a fake smile as the recent events replayed in my mind—the soundtrack of my voice, the hundreds of photos, and my own whimpers when I was alone. I didn’t know how long it’d take for me to forget all of that, but if I had to guess, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
I thought that day was the end for me. Chad was completely unhinged, talking about how we’d have one another in the next life as we weren’t meant to be together in this one, but when Lorenzo stormed into that room, I knew that everything was going to be okay, and I would have another chance at life. A do-over at being happy.
“I knew you never walked out on me, Ana. We all knew it.” He squeezed my hand.
“My mother is here to help get you cleaned up. I didn’t think you’d want me to offer my services for that so soon.
” His worry and care was something I had never seen with him before.
It was as if the current events had changed him a little.
Sure, we still had plenty to discuss, but right now, I couldn’t think about anything other than recovering.
Carmella appeared at the door, making her way over to us. She placed her hand on Lorenzo’s shoulder. Even if she was shocked and horrified by my appearance, she hid it well as she offered me the kindest smile without an ounce of pity.
“Come, mia cara ragazza .” Carmella smiled, her voice soft and patient. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” She helped me up with gentle hands, walking beside me towards the ensuite. “Son, you go and make yourself and Ana something to eat, I’ll look after her.”
“I’ll be right downstairs.” he said, his voice wavering slightly in a way I hadn’t heard before. There was a tightness in his words, as if he was hesitant to leave.
“Lorenzo, don’t worry, I’ve got her until you’re back.” Carmella closed the bathroom door behind us before turning on the faucet.
Steam slowly filled the bathroom as she turned to face me. “I’m going to remove these clothes, okay?” She asked as I nodded in response.
She slowly removed the tattered material that remained on my body, and I felt embarrassed.
“I’m sorry you’re having to do this, Carmella,” I whispered, my voice getting lost within the running water.
“Don’t you dare apologise to me. You are just as much family to me as my son is.” She cupped my face as I continued to fight back the tears.
“I think he needs some sleep…” I changed the subject, not wanting the attention on me any longer.
“He’ll get some sleep now you’re home. He was worried sick about you, mia cara ragazza .” Hearing those words erased all the ones Chad had said about him finding another woman. “Come on, in you get.”
She took my hand in hers as I let the warm water envelope me.
I sank beneath the bubbles. A wave of relief washed over me as Carmella’s hands started cleaning away the dried blood, carefully making sure not to press too hard on my fresh bruises.
She hummed softly, a sweet melody that filled the silence and calmed my racing mind.
I suddenly felt safe for the first time in this house.
After lying in the water until it cooled, Carmella helped me out and wrapped me in a thick, warm towel.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better, but I’m okay. I probably look worse than I feel,” I lied yet again.
“I can tell you’re not being truthful, I can see it in your eyes. Believe me, Lorenzo will catch on sooner rather than later.” A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she helped me into a soft cotton dress.
After she brushed and dried my hair, I felt a little like myself again, despite the cuts and bruises.
Seeing my reflection in the mirror for the first time since returning home was unsettling; the image staring back was far from comforting.
I was taken aback that Lorenzo could look at me without wincing, given the stark evidence of my ordeal etched across my face.
“I’m going to go back to my bedroom,” I whispered, already halfway out the door. I didn’t know if that’s what I really wanted, but I needed to be alone. I needed to shut myself away from everyone and everything, and I thought there was no better place to do so.
“I’ll go and check how Lorenzo is doing in the kitchen. You go and get some rest.”
I nodded before making my way to my room.
I tossed and turned as sweat drenched the sheets beneath me. Vivid images haunted my dreams. I couldn’t escape from them.
“He’s not coming for you, Anastacia. You should know that.” Chad’s voice echoed through my nightmare. “He’s got a new toy to play with.” His words sliced me like daggers even though they weren’t real anymore.
“Please, Chad… You don’t need to do this…” I pleaded, hoping whatever friendship we had would snap him out of his vile obsession.
“I do, Ana… He can’t have you. He doesn’t want you, but I do, in this life and the next.” His fingers brushed my skin like spiders crawling across my flesh.
Suddenly, the memories of my dream shattered, jolting me back to the present as my heart pounded against my ribcage, my breath coming in short, desperate gasps.
For a moment, I had no idea where I was.
My mind was still trapped in the horror of my nightmare.
I glanced around my room. It was bare. All I could imagine were the three men trampling around in here, making it look as though I left.
My body shook uncontrollably as I wrapped my arms around myself to try to hold the pieces of my shattered composure together.
I’ve got to get out of here… Coming in here was a bad idea.
I got out of bed and pulled the bedroom door open, not wanting to be here any longer as I hurried past Nicolo and Red who stood as protection outside my room.
“Ana, are you okay?” Red called after me, but I didn’t stop as my feet led me to Lorenzo’s room.
I slipped inside, seeing the room empty. I felt as though wherever I went, I couldn’t escape. The phantom pains of their blows remained, the sharp sting on my face, ribs, and stomach lingering. My nails clawed at my skin as if trying to rid myself of the memories.
I locked the ensuite door behind me before flicking on the cold water in the shower, hoping to wash everything away. The icy water rained down on me, soaking through my clothes and clinging to my skin. I slid down the wall, letting the spray drown out my sobs.
I remembered the room. The rotten walls adorned with photos of me, each one a haunting reminder. I remembered the voices, the sinister laughter, the pain… I remembered everything.
“Ana?” Red’s voice called out from the other side of the door, but I couldn’t respond. My sobs cut off my words as I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to muffle the sound. “Ana?! Please open the door,” he called again, his voice filled with concern.
They don’t care about you, Ana… But I do.
Chad’s voice embedded itself into my mind as I closed my eyes, violently shaking my head, trying to block him out.
Oh, Ana, you know I’ll always be here. Your husband can torture and kill me, but you know I’ll live on in your mind.
“Go a-away… Please…” I pleaded through ragged breaths.
“Ana?” Red shouted again, managing to interrupt the unwanted voice. “Fuck!”
I felt small, vulnerable, and alone.
Wondering if I'd ever forget and be the woman I once was.