Chapter 14 #3
“Really? How many times have you visited Bryanna’s bakery?
If you tasted her lovely selection of donuts or coffee, then you’d have gone there more than the one time you drove to pick up donuts for the veterans.
You’ve lived here for two years and have never eaten at Ty’s.
Everyone in town knows about his food, and I’m sure you’ve eaten it once or twice at the hospital.
We all know you don’t attend any of the picnics, fundraising functions, or accept invitations from the team members’ wives. ”
“You don’t know me,” she said, raising her voice.
“No one does. You stay in this house with Zeus and pour all your time and attention on him,” Liam said angrily.
“Lots of people coddle their dogs,” she argued.
“You have me there,” he said sarcastically. “I hope you and your dog will be very happy with one another.”
“Why do you act as if I wronged you?” she asked, confused. “I’m newly widowed. You can’t expect me to know how I’ll feel the first time I cheat on my husband.”
“He’s dead, Addy,” Liam reminded her quietly. “It’s not cheating when he’s not here to share a life with you.”
Hesitating, she let his words sink in. “Last night got a bit intense. I didn’t expect to feel the way I did.”
“If you need to move slower, I understand,” he offered. “I didn’t expect it to end the way it did last night, but I don’t regret it.”
“I’m not sure what to do. You’re different than…”
“Sam?” Liam asked. “No one will ever replace him in your heart. There’s no time limit on grief. He died over two years ago, but you stopped living. Do you think he’d want you to go through life checking off each day?”
“No. I don’t know the right answer,” she confessed. “When you got up to take care of the condom, I saw our wedding photo by the bed. It made me feel guilty. It’s not fair he died. We made plans for when he retired. We wanted kids. Then, one bad mission took it all away.”
“No. It’s not fair. Sam knew the risks involved with his job.
I met him before he died. Our teams worked together on a mission.
You sent him a care package. Of course, it arrived late, but I remember him sitting down and opening the package like a kid at Christmas.
I’ve never felt the way he did when the soldier handed him the package.
No one ever sent me anything. You made him happy, Addy.
Don’t you deserve a life full of happiness? ”
“I never gave it much thought,” she said, leaning against the counter. “He died. I went to the pound because the house felt empty. No one wanted poor Zeus due to his size. I guess I poured myself into him.”
“I’m not asking you to forget about him. As one of my fellow brothers, I’ll honor him. I love spending time with you, but if you want to slow things down, I understand.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at him. “I need to get groceries. I usually go to Seattle, but you made a point. I need to start giving Serenity a chance. We can go to lunch at Ty’s, and then I’ll do my shopping.”
“Or we can grab lunch, and I’ll accompany you to get groceries. I can use the facility's kitchen, but you don’t have clearance. If you don’t mind me using your kitchen, I can make you dinner here,” he suggested.
“Oh. It’ll give me a chance to try out my new dinnerware,” she said excitedly.
“When do you plan on picking Zeus up?”
“Tomorrow,” Addyson said, biting her lip. “Jake says he ran a slight fever last night. He started a new antibiotic, and I’ll hopefully bring him home then.”
“We’re already in town. Why don’t you call Jake and tell him we’ll stop by with dessert from Ty’s?”
“It sounds like a good plan. It’ll make up for my bugging him,” she said, grabbing her purse and recycled grocery bags. “I’ll call him from the SUV.”
He took her hand, set the security code, and escorted her to his vehicle.
What started out as dread in her chest grew considerably lighter as Liam laid out his expectations.
If they slowed things down, it might be easier to adjust. Did he mean no sex?
Her body seemed to reject the idea, reminding her of how it felt to have his hands roaming her body and how good it felt in the safety of his arms.
They drove to town, and another memory invaded her thoughts.
Sam hated getting groceries. If she deployed, he’d get them delivered.
Having an impromptu lunch out didn’t fit into his budget.
Addyson made sandwiches, or they’d eat whatever they scavenged from the kitchen.
It didn’t make him a bad person because he liked saving money.
She wondered how much of their lives she let him control.
He picked the housing, the cars, the minimal lifestyle.
Thinking back, she felt like a visitor staying as a guest when she returned from deployment.
They usually traveled when they managed to spend time together, but she rarely stayed at the houses alone for any length of time.
Maybe it’s why she clung to all his things after he passed away. It’s all she had left of Sam.
Glancing over at Liam, who was holding her hand, she felt a flutter in her belly. It seemed new and exciting. Maybe it was time to let go of the past.