Chapter 15
15
C hris had a headache. He’d gotten into a bit of a situation at the precinct, and there were four of them that were on a week’s leave without pay.
Go him.
So his head hurt. His hand hurt. His pride hurt.
He’d gone into the room that used to be his with the kittens, shut the door, warned Leo with a text that he was not in a space to be reasonable, and he sat in the sunshine with Dot and Spot, letting them chase dust motes.
That seemed fine until the end of the day, when his phone lit up with a text around the time Leo usually left the office.
Leo
Put on something comfortable, find your kneeling pad, put it next to my chair in the living room, and wait for me there. Kneeling, to be clear
Chris
I’ve had a real bad day
He would do it, but he thought it best to be super clear.
Chris
I might yell
Leo
I understand. I might even let you.
He was pretty sure that was meant to be a joke.
Still, it was an acknowledgement of his mood, and it sort of let him know that he wasn’t expected to be like Dexter or Alain, the sweet and practically perfect subs. He could just be himself.
The kittens were crashed at the moment, but he gave them kisses anyway before closing the door and leaving them to nap.
He was already in his oldest jeans, but they had holes at the knees and that ached some with kneeling, so he found workout shorts and a sweatshirt, muttering as he changed about stupid assholes and stupid rules made by stupid dipshits that didn’t understand if they hit a dog, he was going to hit them, no question.
By the time he peed, took a couple of Tylenol, and put his cushion on the floor, he was on a tear, just telling the walls all about it.
“Sorry to interrupt…” Leo had walked in at some point and had managed to get within six feet of him without him noticing. “Feeling any better?”
“That depends on when you’re talking about. Better than half hour ago? Slightly. Better than this morning? Absolutely fucking not.”
“That’s two. One for swearing, and one for not saying ‘Sir’. Keep count, and it’d better match mine tonight.” Leo walked right past him and into the bedroom.
“Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” he hissed. He didn’t need this shit right now when he was so fucking angry.
“Three, four, and five.” Leo called from the bedroom. “Patience, boy. Breathe. I’m just changing into something more comfortable that I didn’t work in all day.”
“I’m trying! I swear to God, Sir. I’m so frigging pissed off that I can’t hardly bear it.” There. He didn’t say ‘fuck’.
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Leo reappeared in a T-shirt and a pair of Invader Zim pajamas.
“I know, I’m so good at hiding it, right?” He gave Leo his wildest wild-man expression.
“So, why are you kneeling?” Leo went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water.
“Because you asked me to.” Duh. “Sir.”
Leo rolled his eyes. “You are so literal, boy. I did ask. Why did I ask?”
“Because you wanted me to be here for you. Focused. I was trying to get the grr out a little bit, and I got caught up in it, and you got home.”
“Good boy.” Leo moved behind him and he felt those strong fingers in his hair. “What happened? Give me all the details I need.”
“One of the new handlers got bit. He hit Vegas. I hit him. He hit me back, and I hit him again, and that was when things got a little western. I have a week’s suspension without pay, along with three others. My head hurts.” That should be it.
“Hm.” Leo paced away. “How is Vegas?”
That was his Leo. Leo understood. Animals first. “Fine, Sir. I sent him home with Brielle for a little downtime and some comfort.”
Leo paced back. “Are you hurt? Let me see your hands.”
He had some intense bruises popping up, but it was nothing on the other guy. He held his hands up so Leo could see.
“Hm.” Leo looked them over. “These hands are mine, you know.”
“Yes, Sir.” He knew, and he used them to protect the dogs that trusted their handlers more than anything on earth.
“You’ve already been suspended, so I don’t need to tell you what they already have. But I don’t want you fighting. There are other ways to deal with people.”
“He hit one of my dogs, Sir! He laid a hand on one of my babies! He’s lucky I didn’t rip his head off and shit down his neck.”
“And now you’re suspended, some of your colleagues are probably as well, and the jerk? He’ll just move through his training with someone else, and he probably hasn’t learned a thing.”
Oh, he didn’t know about that. Patterson had learned to never hit a dog in his presence but whatever. It didn’t matter.
He should have just kept his fucking mouth shut. Barring the black eye, Leo would have never even known.
He just needed to keep his temper until Leo went to sleep.
“Nothing to say? Oh, and that’s six for swearing again.” Leo stood in front of him and crossed his arms.
Whatever. Six. I don’t give a flying fuck, you fucking fucky fucker McFuck!
“Okay, I’ll ask another question. Why do you have such a temper?”
“I’ve always had one, I guess?” He didn’t know. Was there actually an answer to that question? Some people were more passionate than others.
“Have you? What a burden.” Leo shook his head. “It takes so much energy.”
What the fuck did that even mean? Chris was in a shitty fucking mood, and what? Leo’s answer to it was to point out how he sucked as a human being? Really?
“Chrissy. Who are you mad at right now? Who?”
“Right this second, I’m pretty aggravated at you! I told you it was a shitty day. I needed you to at least fucking try to understand where I was coming from. These dogs are special. They deserve better!”
“That’s eight.” Leo crouched in front of him. “Chrissy. You are special too.”
“What?” Where had that even come from? He didn’t understand what Leo wanted.
“You deserve better too.”
“Better than what? I’m sorry, Sir, I’m not sure what you’re asking me to understand.” And he just wanted a hug.
Leo nodded and sat on the floor, then waved him into that wide lap. “Okay, boy.”
He moved over, resting his burning, aching head on Leo’s chest. It was all he could do not to cry.
Leo sighed and nuzzled his hair. “I’ve got you. People can be awful. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, Sir. I needed you.”
“I know. This is important.” Leo held him tight enough that he couldn’t have climbed away if he’d wanted to.
And that was that, wasn’t it? He needed this—it didn’t stop the headache or the fury, but it helped, and he wasn’t going anywhere. “Yes, Sir.”
“How long have you been here alone? Since you texted me?”
Chris pondered that. Pretty close. “I was home long enough to clean the litter box, change, and shower before I texted.”
“Okay.” Leo nodded. “How are the kittens?”
“Good.” That made him smile. “We were playing earlier. Crazy little beasts.”
“I can’t wait until we can let them out to wander. I wonder where their favorite places will be. We should get one of those towers to put by the window.”
“Oh, I like that idea. They’d be over the moon.” Watching them play with the mouse on the string was one of the funniest things ever.
“We’ll shop this weekend. Cat tree, maybe a couple of little beds or something. A scratching post…”
“That sounds amazing.” He closed his eyes, let himself rest. “I’m sorry for snarling. Forgive me?”
“Of course. I love you. And atonement will make everything better.”
“You make it better.” That was what mattered.
“Mm. When I’m not jumping in and trying to fix things instead of listening.” Leo chuckled softly, and he felt it vibrate in that big chest.
“It’s our first big bad day thing.” Chris got it. They had to figure their shit out.
“I still think you’re your own worst enemy in this case, boy. But I understand your motivation.”
“I can’t help my temper. It’s got a low flash point, but I don’t hold grudges, at least.” Not for long, anyway.
“A suspension isn’t a good look, though. You should think about what you could do next time that might serve everyone better.”
That didn’t matter. He would do whatever he had to do. All the planning and wanting in the world wouldn’t change that.
Leo poked his thigh. “You’re thinking, and I can’t hear you.”
He blinked up at Leo, caught. “What?”
“Thinking.” Leo tapped his forehead. “And not sharing.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you, Sir,” he confessed. “I don’t think I can’t have a temper.”
“Hm. Okay.” Leo was stroking his arm, nuzzling his hair. “Do you think you can have a temper and not hit people?”
“It’s not like I just pop off randomly, I swear. That bastard Patterson made Vegas cry.” And he’d seen red.
“Of course not. And that was awful and unfair. But that first blow of yours got several people suspended, and Patterson might get right back in the ring. It might have been better to get him suspended. Or fired.”
“You act like I thought about this, but I didn’t. I swear, I didn’t plan to hit him…” It had been worth it, and he might hit the bastard again, just because.
“Sorry, I don’t think you planned it. I’m sure you didn’t think about it. I’m asking what you think it would take for you to think about it next time.”
He shook his head. “Honest to God, Sir, I don’t know. Is that even a thing?”
“I guess that’s up to you. You are in control of your own reactions. Your emotions. Your choices. I think if you remember that, it’s possible. Yes.”
He thought it was adorable that Leo believed he was capable of that. Adorable. “I’ll do my best.”
“Sarcasm.” Leo snorted. “So… you’re suspended for how long? A week? You can come back to the office with me.”
He reared back, meeting Leo’s eyes. “Wait. Wait, no, that wasn’t…I swear. Do I think I can do it, no. But do I love that you think I can? Yes! I wasn’t being a dick.”
Leo blinked for a second, and then he got a soft smile. “I do think you can. I want to teach you to believe in yourself the way that I believe in you. Is that going to happen tomorrow? No. But it will.”
Okay. He nodded. It didn’t matter if it didn’t happen. Not really. What mattered was that Leo heard him and believed in him. That was worth everything.
“So, work with me this week. And… how many paddles tonight?” Leo looked hopeful he’d get it wrong.
“Ten, plus a couple that are for being good, Sir?” He figured it was worth asking, for sure.
Leo gave him a nod. “Good? Hm. Well, you were right where I told you to be when I got home, even if you were giving the walls hell. You asked for what you needed, in a slightly roundabout way, but you did…”
“I didn’t hide what I did, either. I can be good, Sir.” He winked at Leo.
“Mm. True.” Leo’s eyes sparkled at him. “You were truthful. Colorful language, but truthful.”
“I’m a colorful guy.” He winked at his Sir again. “Rainbow colored.”
“Ha.” Leo’s grip loosened and he could move again. “What’s for dinner, boy?”
“Pizza?” He didn’t really care.
“Easy. Works for me. Maybe get a salad with it so I can pretend I’m trying to eat healthy.”
“I can so do that. Salad with croutons, cheese, and dressing?”
“Yes, please.” Leo shifted and stood after he did, stretching with a groan. “The floor isn’t as easy as it used to be.”
“Do you need me to rub your back?” He could do that for Leo.
Leo looked surprised, like the idea of asking for a back rub had never even occurred to him. “I would love that. Thank you, boy.”
“Of course.” It would help them both. He could touch and love on Leo, and God knew that would soothe his soul.
Leo disappeared while he was ordering dinner. Chris found him in the little room playing with the kittens. He had a feather on the end of a teaser wand and was baiting them with it.
He settled behind his lover, hands working those broad shoulders. “Dot is so fast, but Spot is more of a planner…”
“Right? Dot makes no decisions. She just goes wild. It’s hilarious. Spot is like… let’s watch this feather for a bit so I know exactly how it moves. And then there’s no escaping him.” Leo chuckled. “They’re a little like us.”
“A little, but Dot does make you laugh…” And he wasn’t a fool. Just not a deep pool of calm.
Leo reached back and patted his thigh. “She does. You make me—well, other things.” That was followed by a deep moan. “Like that. Oh, that feels good.”
“Mmm…” Chris dug in harder, working that spot good and hard.
“You have strong hands for—someone a lot smaller than I am.” Leo snorted.
“I am, but I’m solid as a rock, hmm? All muscle.” He wiggled, showing off a little… muscle.
“Yes. All muscle.” Leo turned his head and nipped at the bicep he was showing off. “Yummy.”
“Mmhmm.” Oh, that stung just a little bit. Just enough to make his cock fill.
The kittens were crawling all over Leo’s lap, and he was handling them so gently with those big hands. They were so small they almost disappeared in them. “Do you think they’ll stay this soft?”
“Yep. I’ll make sure to brush them all the time.”
“Your hands are going to be busy, boy. This back rub situation is going to be a regular thing.”
“Then you’ll have to brush them, I guess…” He traced the outside of Leo’s ear with his tongue.
Leo shivered. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. You always make me feel better.” Leo was his home. There wasn’t a single doubt about that in his body.
“Mm. I feel the same way about you. To be honest, if you hadn’t been able to… I was going to make this work whether you could give me everything I was asking for or not. I wanted—I want you here. I need you around. I don’t know how I managed before you showed up.”
“You were probably in a lot fewer arguments.” Chris bit that sweet earlobe and made it sting.
Leo hissed and reached for his wrist, thick fingers curling tightly around it. “Brat.”
“Yours.” He hummed, his cock jerking a little bit.
“Mine.” Leo lifted the kittens from his lap one by one. “My lap is free now, boy.”
“Mmm…” He swung around, straddling Leo’s thighs.
“We don’t argue. You let your temper get the better of you, and I tie you up and smack your ass for it. It’s really a win-win when you think about it.” Leo pushed both arms behind his back and held his wrists.
He moaned and arched. This was a huge turn-on, and a crazy type of relief, as well. Leo was strong enough to hold him.
“We’re a team, boy. I’m yours… and you’re mine. You are my sub.”
“I am.” He’d volunteered for the job, even.
Leo dropped a hand into his lap and under the stretchy band of his sweatpants, finding his cock and pulling it out.
He was already well on his way to hard, and Leo’s hand didn’t help in the least.
“Clasp your fingers together and hook them behind your neck, please,” Leo ordered, slowly working his cock through that hot hand.
He did as he was asked. His chest arched, pushed out. “Like this?”
“Like that.” That hand never stopped as Leo lapped at his nipple and blew cool air over it.
He bared his teeth as his nipple tightened in a rush. That damn near hurt, and it was so good.
Leo sat up, held his gaze, and started jacking him off, fist pumping in his lap. “Don’t look away; don’t close your eyes.”
“No, Sir. Need you, so bad.” And he craved this after his terrible day.
“I’ve got you, boy. I want you to feel good, to have this just for yourself.” That hand didn’t let up, working his cock steadily, thumb driving through his slit every few strokes. And Leo kept talking to him, praising him. “Because I love you. Because I’m proud of you, and you’re always so good to me.”
His eyes went wide, because that was the only way he was going to hold back exhausted, amazed tears. “Love.”
“My love.” Leo nodded, staring into him. “My boy. My own. Mine .” Leo growled that last word, caught his nipple, and pinched it hard.
“Master!” He could no more have stopped his orgasm than he could have stopped his heart beating.
“Mmm.” Leo let it soak his T-shirt, stroking him through it and never breaking eye contact. “Beautiful, sweet boy.”
“Yours.” He was lost, caught in Leo’s eyes. He swallowed, croaking out, “I’m so glad you’re here. I needed you to make it a better day.”
“I want to do that for you. It’s important to me too.” Leo broke that stare finally, pulling him into a heavy kiss.
The tears came then, but no one had to notice. He could just lose himself in his Master.