28. Tink #2
The first time was just a mistake. It had been someone random, at an inner city Fill-R-Up, calling me ‘sir’ when they accidentally bumped me as I was refilling my ice cup to try and keep cool.
But I realized it kind of made more sense.
“People don’t pick on guys the way they pick on girls, you know? ”
Wendy nods, and for the first time, I think this is something she actually understands firsthand.
“Yeah, so,” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Long story short, I ran into Pan. Helped him out of a jam, and he asked if I needed a place to stay. Kind of earned his trust from there. Fox got me a bike. I earned some money working with them to buy some clothes and—
“And you just trusted them,” Wendy says, one eyebrow raised. Like she’s chastising me for my bad choices. “Just a bunch of strangers?”
“Well, yeah,” I say, looking back down at my fries. “I mean, so did you,” I point out.
“Yeah, but you’re not strangers,” Wendy says. “You’re friends with my brothers.”
The sting of her words is like an arrow to my heart. It’s all I can do not to let my face react.
I swallow hard. I don’t love not telling her the truth. Especially now.
“Yeah,” I say, a little lower, almost in my guy voice again.
I clear my throat. “Anyway, I actually—” I hesitate just briefly.
“I’d met Pan before, like a long time ago.
When I was, a kid maybe a little older than you are?
” I say it like it’s a question. I don’t know why.
“He used to come around my neighborhood sometimes, teach kids how to ride bikes—” I shake my head.
“Doesn’t matter. It’s not like he remembered me.
That would’ve kind of ruined things if he did, you know?
” I give her a smile. “But yeah, I figured he was safe, and anyone with him probably was too, and…” I shrug. “…I was right.”
Wendy contemplates. She chews a few more fries, and then a few more.
“This whole thing sounds like a lot of work,” she says at last.
“Yeah, I guess,” I say. “I mean, some parts of it are easier. Like, I don’t have to do my hair or shave my legs and, I don’t really worry about how my skin—”
“No, no,” Wendy says. “I mean, like…” She lowers her voice a little. “Having a period. Being a woman.” She says the last part a little sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
“Oh,” I say. “Yeah, that part’s…there’s a lot of energy that it takes up, I guess.”
Wendy eyes the drugstore bag again. “I am probably going to need more though, right?” she says. “I mean, I don’t know how many I use a day, but like…that times seven times, uh, fifty-two? So…hang on…”
I frown, rubbing my forehead. “No, you’re not…” I almost smile but catch myself. “You’re not going to be bleeding forever.” A little bit of a laugh escapes in my voice.
“Oh, really?” Wendy sounds genuinely relieved. “Oh, I thought—”
“No,” I say, really smiling now. “Oh my God, can you imagine? That would be terrible.” I laugh, and it surprises me how light my laugh sounds. “No, no, no. It’s like a couple days, maybe like a week, once a month or so. Just kind of…” I spin my fingers through the air. “You know, cycles.”
“Ohhh,” Wendy says. “That’s better.”
I shrug. “Well, it is and it isn’t. You do have to kind of keep track of when it’s coming so that you don’t, you know, ruin another pair of pajamas.
But you learn to manage it. I can show you how to get the stains out.
And it’s good to keep one or two pairs of underwear that are kind of, you know, already done for, just in case. ”
Wendy nods, listening intently, and suddenly I feel the girliest I’ve felt in, God, I don’t know. Months, if not over a year. Like all the old muscle memory coming back. Like I haven’t forgot what I’m doing or who I actually am. And as I realize that, I decide to prod a little more.
“So no one explained this to you?” I say. “Your mom? Or your dad?” That last one seems unlikely, but I ask it anyway.
“Well, my brothers definitely didn’t,” Wendy says, irritation in her voice. “They never told me anything when I had questions. I mean, not that I actually asked them about this, oh my god!” She presses a hand to her chest, aghast at the thought. “But like, just generally.”
“And…your parents?” I say as gently as I can.
Some custody shit, I think. The only thing we really got out of that game at all.
Wendy jabs at the pile of her fries with another fry.
“My mom died,” she says, not looking up.
“And my dad…” She sighs. “He doesn’t get along with my brothers.
And they say it’s his fault, and he would always say it was their fault,” she recites.
“And so one day they told me I was just going to go live with them. And then Dad would have to figure…” She hesitates a moment.
“…figure his shit out before he would get to see any of us again. So…” She lifts a shoulder.
“I guess it didn’t matter that much to him in the end,” she finishes, her voice very small.
“Oh, honey.” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, surprising me and surprising Wendy, judging by the way her head jerks up and disbelief is written all over her little face.
I give a tiny laugh. “Sorry, I guess I’m just like, back in girl mode all of a sudden.
” I laugh and bite my lip. “I just mean…I’m sure that’s not why he hasn’t been back. ”
In reality, I have no idea. From the sounds of it, Wendy’s dad is a total fucking scumbag, honestly. But if he’s never coming back, then she doesn’t need to know that.
Except we do need to find him, says another voice in my head. She can’t stay here forever, remember?
Wendy gives me the faintest smile and slurps a little more of her Coke. A moth flits in and out of the light halo around us on the patio. Then she yawns, a big yawn.
“You feeling better?” I ask.
Wendy nods.
“Then let’s get home.” I stand up, brushing salt off my shirt. “Sleep will help.”
She nods again.
“Tink?”
I look over my shoulder from the trash can where I am shoving in the paper and plastic and cascade of ice cubes.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks,” Wendy says from the table. “I promise I won’t tell. Ever.”
On the way back, Wendy falls asleep. Not on purpose, I don’t think, but I can feel her body go slack against mine on my bike, and I hold her arms in place so she doesn’t slide off as I zip us through the streets, under the sky that’s just turning bronze with sunrise.
Back at Neverland, I park as smoothly and silently as I can in the alleyway and hoist her into a kind of piggyback as I dismount, guiding her skinny arms over my shoulders.
I manage to get up the back steps that way, push through the door to the kitchen, and silently work my way to the shop.
The spiral stairs give me a bit of trouble, but I make it to the landing and—
“Holy shit.” I stop short, heart pounding in my chest as I almost run into someone in the hallway.
Blue. Fuck. Of course. Of course he’d be the only one still awake.
“Jesus,” he mutters, his voice somewhere between a growl and a whisper. He steps back, looks at the two of us. “The fuck are you doing here?”
He’s shirtless, in sweatpants. Glass of water in one hand. Presumably just done…working. And my face gets hot, despite myself, knowing what he must have been doing the whole time we were out there eating fries.
“Just, uh…”
Wendy slips a little down my back and stirs.
And I feel her reach her legs down, awake.
She lets go of my neck and yawns. “Hi, Blue,” she mumbles.
“I’m going to bed. Good night, Tink.” She smiles and makes her way down the rest of the hall, although not without stopping to give me and Blue an up-and-down and flash me a devious little smile.
Oh my god. That little imp. I believe her. I truly believe her when she said she won’t tell, but I also don’t know that knowing that I am a girl in a house full of guys means she won’t cause any trouble for me. Intentionally or otherwise.
And that could be a real issue. Especially with—
“You coming or going?” Blue says tersely.
“I’m…” I stutter, cough, pitch my voice as low as it can go. “I’m going. Kid couldn’t sleep and wanted a ride,” I mutter as I pass, not sure if it sounds like a good explanation or not. “Figured I’d do her a favor.”
There’s silence as I walk the rest of the hallway down to my bedroom. And as my door creaks open, I can just hear Blue’s voice.
“Sure,” he says. “Sure.”