Chapter Four
E than
A week later, I’m leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, my arms crossed over my chest. As I watch Jenn walk into the shower and underneath the water, her long hair falls down her back as the water falls down onto her, washing away the dirt and blood that was still on her skin from her father.
She has been in and out a lot over this past week, the withdrawals only allowing her to be with me for short amounts of time, but this morning, she looks better.
She has seemed better over the past week.
I’ve watched her walls and defenses really start to come down.
She is trusting me, believing my words of not harming her, and wanting to help her.
I really do want to help her. I want to help her heal, but now I am afraid I am also becoming selfish, and I want her. I want her in the worst fucking way.
This was not my intention to fall for her, but just like I am making her walls and defenses go down, she is also making mine fall just the same.
I have seen it in her eyes. Her soft, sweet eyes. I have felt it in her touch, her kiss. She is starting to fall for me, too, which I know terrifies both of us. This is wrong and fucking twisted on every fucking level, but I can’t seem to stop myself, and she doesn’t seem to be able to either.
I take a deep breath as I slowly look her over, seeing the scars on top of scars on her skin. She is fucking beautiful. Her skin is perfect, even with the scars.
I have never looked at scars the way others do in society. Normal people would judge her, make fun of her, and whisper about her behind her back, but I am not normal.
Scars, to me, are gorgeous. They tell a story. We each have a story, a life we have survived, and Jenn’s evidence of her survival is all over her skin, telling me what she has survived and what she has had to go through.
There are fresh bruises going down her back and legs. These bruises I didn’t notice before, which tell me her father and other men hurt her before she escaped and made her do things she didn’t want to do.
She doesn’t see how strong she is. I saw it in her eyes a week ago in this room when she screamed at me to leave. I saw the rage and pain in her eyes. She was fucking terrified of the unknown, so she lashed out and made sure that she pushed until the person broke.
I know what she is thinking. She thinks if she can push and push until they break and get it over with, then she can move on. She hates not knowing what is going to happen, so she does the only thing she can do to try and have some control. She lashes out. She has fucking fire inside her.
“Are you just going to watch?” she asks.
I look down her back at the scars, the bruises, the bite marks. “Yes,” I reply as calmly as I can.
I want so fucking badly to go and kill every single fucking man that has ever fucking touched her. I want my face to be the last fucking thing they ever see.
I watch her slowly turn around in the shower. Her eyes are still terrified but also curious. There is a desire in her eyes, longing. The way she looks at me makes my heart stop and makes me lose a little bit of my own control.
She slowly backs up until her back is against the wall. The water continues to fall down her naked body. I slowly look down in front of her. There are more belt scars but also knife scars and bite marks.
I feel my heart race, and my blood starts to boil as I lock my eyes on the bite mark on her throat.
I slowly look up into her eyes, both of us searching each other’s. both of us trying to figure out what move to make next.
Before Jennifer, I would have just acted without thinking, but with her, I think about every fucking thing by being very aware of my gestures, my body language, and my tone. Because all of it means something to her, and I know I need to be careful, very fucking careful.
I watch her slowly lift her arms above her head, placing them against the shower wall, making my heart race even more.
I push off the door frame and lean down, removing my boots, my pants and boxers, and then my shirt. I take a step towards her and watch her eyes wander, looking me up and down, making me smile. She’s curious, and it is fucking adorable.
I quickly close the distance between us, walk into the shower, and stop when my chest is against hers.
The water starts to wash over me. I lift my left hand and grab onto her wrists, pinning them firmly against the shower wall.
I gently touch her skin with my fingertips, making my way down her body.
I grab onto her right leg and lift it up, holding it against my side.
I feel her wrap it around my waist as I gently put my hand between us.
I grab onto my already hard dick and put the head at her entrance. I keep my eyes on her.
“Last chance to tell me no,” I growl. I will never force her. I would stop right here right now if she asked me. I need her to know that.
“I will never tell you no,” she responds, making my heart skip a beat. What the fuck is she doing to me? What the fuck are we doing to each other?
“Jennifer.” Once I start, I won’t be able to fuck stop.
“Ethan,” she states, looking into my eyes.
She is pleading with me, begging me to fucking give in and.
fuck, I can’t do this. I must have her. I have to feel her wrapped around me.
I need to see her vulnerable in the best possible way.
She is not the only one who’s addicted to something.
I don’t know how it has happened in just a week, but I am fucking becoming addicted to her.
I take a deep breath as I push myself inside her, feeling her heat wrap around my dick, causing me to groan.
I release my dick and grab onto her throat, making sure my grip isn’t tight.
I know she’s still hurting from the marks.
I slowly start to move in and out of her.
Her leg wraps tighter around me as she starts to move with my motion. I lean in and connect my lips to hers.
She opens right up for me, allowing my tongue to enter her mouth.
A moan escapes from both of us as I start to pick up my pace.
I tighten my grip on her hands, making sure she can’t move them as the kiss begins to deepen.
I watch her closely as her eyes roll back into her head.
This is fucking twisted on every level, but the more twisted it becomes, the more I desire and crave her.
I begin to slow down my pace, wanting us both to feel everything. I pull back just enough to look at her. She looks at me, her eyes locking with mine. They are filled with so much desire and need. “I see you, Jennifer,” I tell her softly, feeling my heart racing so fast it might jump out of me.
I see the tears building in her eyes as I continue my slow motion in and out of her. It is fucking taking everything in me to slow down and take in this moment with her.
“Hon, you are beautifully shattered,” I whisper softly as I lean in, reconnecting my lips to hers. She melts into me. I taste her tears. Her sweet fucking tears.
This is it. She has done it without even trying. She is my obsession, my addiction, my beautifully shattered vase, and I will do everything I can to put her back together again. To protect her from those who want to use and abuse her.
This is it. My last bit of defenses and walls have come crashing down, and now I am drowning, fucking drowning in her, and I never want to be saved.
I never completely understood how hard Shawn fell for Emory.
I have watched their love grow and shape into something most only dream of, and I never, ever thought I would get what they have, but now, in this moment with Jennifer, I fucking understand.
I do, and now I know that, like Shawn, I will do anything to protect Jenn.
I will fucking destroy and kill anyone that tries to take her from me.
If this is love, then I will willingly let it kill me. I can only hope she feels the same because now that I am having her, I will never ever be able to fucking let go.
****
I watch Jenn closely as she gets dressed in the new clothes, I set out for her on the bed. Anything and everything she will ever need, I will provide for her. She doesn’t have to ask or beg. Whatever she wants is hers, including me.
I lean down and pull on my boots. I sit up and watch her pull over the sweatshirt I gave her.
She is still shaking and going through the hot and cold flashes, and right now, I can tell she is cold.
She pulls down the sweatshirt and turns slowly, locking eyes with me.
“I love seeing you in my clothes,” I say, watching her walk over to me.
She sits down on my lap and leans in, placing her forehead against mine.
I wrap my arm around her, holding her tightly against me. “Thank you,” she states softly, making my heart fucking sink. It hurts me to know that she was conditioned in such a way that she needs to say thank you for things that she should’ve been given all along. Fuck, man.
“You never have to thank me for taking care of you, Hon,” I tell her, trying to hide my rage because I am enraged with the situation, and everything that she has been through.
My heart is racing so fast I can hear it in my ears as I try and calm myself.
I am not enraged at her, that is never going to be a thing.
I am enraged with her father and all those fucking men that have tasted her and have hurt her to get what they wanted.
She pulls back and looks at me. That is when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I tighten my hold on her as I pull out my phone and see the text messages from Oliver.
He is panicked. There are some cars parked down the road just waiting.
Waiting for what, I don’t know, but it can’t be fucking good.
People know what we do here. We have put up metal gates everywhere, including at the entrance, so no one can get in, not even into the main center, without having a code.
These men don’t have codes, which means they are here uninvited.
“Is everything okay?” she asks me in a concerned voice. I don’t hide my feelings well, at least not with her. She sees right through it. She has been able to do that since the first moment we locked eyes.
“I don’t know. I need you to stay in this apartment, okay?” I don’t know who these guys are, but they are about to find out that we don’t fuck around here.
“Okay,” she states confidently.
We both lean in at the same time and connect our lips. The kiss is short and sweet but a gesture I plan on continuing.
I pull back, and she slowly gets off my lap. “Stay in here until I come back, okay?” I order, needing her to put my anxiety at ease. I need to keep her safe. She needs to stay safe.
She nods and smiles at me. I quickly stand up and make my way to the door. I stop for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I will be okay,” she promises.
I grab the doorknob and turn it, pushing it open.
I take a few steps out and hear the door close and lock behind me, making some of my anxiety melt away knowing that she is secure behind a locked door, but I also know what a man will do for someone he thinks belongs to him and if her father wanted to get through the locked door he would.
He would, and then I would have to fucking kill him. Kill anyone that tries to force her to do the things she doesn’t want to do. She isn’t a plaything. She is not a fucking toy to be used by men. She is a human being, and I will fucking destroy anyone that tries to convince me otherwise.
We thought it was a good idea when we made the apartments that all the doors would be always locked, just in case.
You can never be too careful, but I don’t think it’s enough.
We need to make the doors stronger. I will have to sit down with Shawn after what the fuck is happening right now and talk to him about maybe making the doors metal.
Maybe, just maybe, that will make me fucking feel better, but I doubt it.