Chapter Twenty
J ennifer
I sit on the edge of the bed in the black silk nightgown.
I lift my hands and gently rest them against my stomach.
So many things have happened since meeting Ethan.
I have always wanted children but I never thought it was in the cards for me because of what my father was having me do.
Plus, all the drugs probably was not for the best. But since meeting Ethan and falling in love with him I have seen that my life can be different than I thought.
He gives me hope even now as I sit in this penthouse, a prisoner. I still have some hope.
My hope is fading but I can still feel it deep down inside of me. I am hoping this is not what my life is going to be.
Tristan has been gone since our encounter in the bathroom. It didn’t go as far as I thought it would. He is surprising me in the worst possible way. I don’t understand what he sees in me or what Ethan sees or any of the men over the years.
When my father had me start working in the studio more guys wanted me and I never understood why.
Maybe it was because they all see that I am broken.
Ethan has seen something in me that I still don’t fully understand but I want to.
He looks at me like I am the most important thing in his life, and I know he means it because I have felt it in his touch, in the soft whispers he has spoken in my ears.
I need him. I wish we were back at the center inside my apartment still in my bed safe—both of us safe. But I don’t think either of us will ever feel safe again. I fell in love with him. I tried to fight it. I tried to push him away, but he stayed and he fought for me.
Even when I tried to make it impossible for him to love me, he never gave up on me. He stayed.
I hear my door open and close, but I don’t look over. I keep my eyes planted on the wall next to the bathroom door. My heart starts to race as I hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to me.
Tristan can never stay away that long. He wants to break me in a different way than my father did.
Tristan is a patient man—too fucking patient—and will continue to tear me down until my walls fall.
But I plan on keeping them up as long as I can because once they fall, I know that once again things will change.
Things will be different and I am not ready for that change. I don’t want that change.
“Did you know your man is here?” a man asks me. I quickly look up at the stranger in my room. I’ve seen this man a few times. He’s one of the men who was here when I first woke up.
From what I can tell he is one of the main men Tristan trusts. In our world he is known as an enforcer, someone who will do the dirty work and not ask questions. And from what I have observed with this guy, he just does as he is told like a robot with no emotions.
“Where is Tristan?” I ask, looking at the closed door.
Tristan can’t be far behind this man. Tristan is very possessive and he doesn’t like being away from me for long.
That is what I’ve learned about him over the last few years.
Every single day he came to the studio it became harder and harder for him to leave.
“Dealing with your man,” he says in a low amused voice making my heart sink. Ethan. My Ethan.
“What do you want? I am doing as I am told,” I snap, not wanting him to see the panic I feel right now with the mention of Ethan. They will use anything against Ethan, and I don’t want to give them anything else they can try to use against him.
“I wanted to come and see,” the man states, tilting his head to the side, drawing my attention fully to him. He is a big dude covered in tattoos wearing all black. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows showing off his tattoos and scars.
This man is scary as fuck, but at the same time, I have seen scarier. I have dealt with scarier.
“See what?” I ask, not hiding my irritation. I already must deal with Tristan’s mind fucks, I don’t need this guy in my head, too, taking up space, making me nervous, and wonder about shit. Tristan has done a good job of doing that all on his own.
“What the big fucking deal is. Tristan is obsessed with you. Ethan has come here begging to see you. You have both of them wrapped around your little finger.” The man keeps his eyes locked on me. I feel the chills go down my spine at his words.
“I didn’t want any of this,” I retort, needing him to leave. I don’t like his stare or his tone. He’s letting me know without saying a word that what he has planned is going to hurt.
“That’s probably true, but here we are.” He closes the little bit of distance between us and stops in front of me. I look up at him. His eyes are looking me over in the worst possible way.
I have seen that look before. All the men at the studio had that look. The look of desire. The look of wanting to take something that doesn’t belong to them.
This man in front of me wants to test me like I am a fucking car, a play toy that he can do whatever he wants to.
Tristan said I would be safe here, that no one would touch me. Well, that lasted a whole fucking five minutes. I knew he was a liar who can’t control his men’s desire to have something that’s off limits.
Why is it the thing we want the most is the thing we are not supposed to want? It has never made sense to me that the forbidden is more appealing than the things we are given and can have without consequences.
But this man doesn’t seem to care about consequences. And knowing Tristan, he didn’t give this man permission to touch me or come in here and look at me the way he is.
“You can tell Tristan I am doing as I am told.” There. He’s seen me. I am where I am supposed to be. Now fucking leave, dude. Don’t do something you won’t be able to take back.
‘I will, but I didn’t come here for him. I came here for me.” He’s speaking in a low, lustful voice, making my heart start to race.
“What?” I ask, but I already know the answer. He came for me. Every man wants what they can’t have, and this man is no different. He might be loyal to Tristan, but loyalty can be lost when there is lust and desire in the mix.
I search his eyes for a moment and my heart drops as I quickly try to stand up. But before I can, he pushes me back onto the bed and gets on top of me. I can feel his hard dick against me, making me want to vomit.
“Get off of me,” I scream, starting to struggle against him.
But the man just smiles. I can see in his eyes he doesn’t care what I say—he wants what he wants. I lift my hand and slap him as hard as I can across the face. But he doesn’t move, he just smiles, making my heart sink.
He grabs my wrists so fast and lifts them above my head pinning me to the bed. His free hand starts to move down the side of my body.
He leans in, pinning me more to the bed. His lips rest against my ear as my stomach turns into knots. My heart is racing as I try to kick, but I am pinned, fucking completely pinned. No matter how much I try to get him off I know he isn’t moving.
“Tristan,” I scream. I never thought I would be screaming his name, but right now he is the only one who can save me from his own fucking guy.
“What is it about you?” he whispers into my ear. He acts as if he didn’t hear me scream. I turn my head to the side trying to get space from him, but it just gives him better access to me. I feel him licking and kissing my neck. I close my eyes and feel the tears roll down my face.
“Tristan, please,” I scream again.
I tighten my eyes shut, trying to imagine anything other than what is about to happen.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” I open my eyes and see Tristan standing in the doorway. He’s holding a gun at his side, his breathing is rapid and unsteady. I see pure rage in his eyes as the man releases my wrists and quickly gets off me.
I lock eyes with him and for the first time ever I feel relieved to see him standing there. I feel relieved that he’s possessive and obsessed with me.
The fuck is happening?
“Tristan, I was just checking on her,” the man states with as much confidence as he can but I can hear the shakiness in his voice.
Tristan takes a few steps toward us. “Is that what you were doing?” Tristan asks, narrowing his eyes on me, tilting his head to the side.
“Yes, sir. But she got mouthy. I couldn’t let that stand.” He’s trying to put the blame on me.
“Is that true, babe? You got mouthy with my guy when he was just trying to check on you?” Tristan continues to stare me right in the eyes as I allow more tears to fall. I wrap my arms around myself, and all I can do is shake my head.
Tristan finally breaks eye contact and looks at the man—the once stronger man. The now shaking man. I don’t need to look at him to know that he is fucking scared. He would be stupid not to be.
“She’s lying, Tristan. She’s a fucking whore.” He’s yelling at Tristan, trying to plead his case, trying to sell Tristan his lies. But for once I am grateful for Tristan’s not believing what people tell him. He knows the guy is lying. Tristan had to have heard my screams.
Before I even know what is happening Tristan closes the distance between him and his guy. I watch as they are now chest to chest. Tristan lifts his gun and places it to the side of the guy’s head. “You don’t touch what is mine,” Tristan whispers and then pulls the trigger.
I feel the blood on my leg as the man falls to the ground. Tristan stands very still looking down at his lifeless man.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, tightening my arms around myself.
I can hear Tristan moving. I know he is next to me, but I don’t open my eyes, I just turn my head the other way, not wanting to look at him. He is a fucking liar. He can’t control his men. He is losing his power and now I feel like I am prey to every man in this damn penthouse.
“Babe, please look at me.”