CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
LILA
Our lips never part as we stumble into the hallway, fumbling for the gold doorknob. We crash into the suite, but I don’t bother taking in the view. I’m too focused on the way his mouth feels against mine. It’s warm, eager, human. The most real contact I’ve had in a long time.
The red mask pleased me in the pleasure room, but I never got to touch him, not like this. This is what I needed.
I grip his button-down, ready for more. Leon pauses, just enough to catch his breath, fingers still tangled in my hair. “Do you know what you like?” he asks, voice low and rough.
“Um… what do you mean?”
“Kinks. Preferences.” His gaze searches mine, waiting. “What turns you on?”
I hesitate. “I … I don’t know. I’ve only ever been with one person, one time.”
His smile is slow and wicked. “Oh, babe. Then let me help you find out.” He steps closer, brushing my cheek with his knuckles.
“There’s a window in each room, a hallway where anyone could watch.
Say the word and I’ll close the curtain.
Say nothing, and I’ll leave it open. Tonight is whatever you want it to be. ”
I bite my lip, heart racing. “This whole night is about the experience, right? So… keep the curtain open.”
His grin grows. “What about bondage?”
I laugh softly. “How about… next time?”
“Oh, so there’s going to be a next time?” His British accent sends shivers down my spine. I lean in, arms around his neck, my lips brushing his .
“Only if you can please me, Mr. Amour.” And then I can’t wait any longer. I crush my mouth to his and let my human needs take control, and so does he.I’m nervous but grounded because it’s Leon who sees me for me.I look to see if anyone is in our window, but nothing.
Good because I don’t know if I’m ready for someone to see all of me.
The lights are low. And Leon’s hands graze my stomach.“Turn around.”
He’s commanding.I didn’t expect that, but I like it.
I do as he says and turn around.Pearl by pearl, crystal by crystal, my butterfly armor slips to the floor.
I’ve never thought much of my breasts. But under his gaze, they feel beautiful.
“Lila, you’re … you’re a goddess.” His eyes glide up and down my body like he’s taking in every freckle and flaw of me.My heart drops, and all I can do is smile.
No one has ever said or looked at me that way.The red mask said something similar, but I couldn’t see him or touch him.
But this look he is giving me… it looks sincere. Honest. Pure.
Maybe I should be with him… He is rich, beautiful, and cares about my needs, unlike Kage.But then why do I still want him? The one who doesn’t want me? Is this how Leon feels?
I don’t cover my chest. I stand waiting for his next human move.
God, I really don’t want to hurt him like Kage has hurt me.
A soft hum spills from the speaker. “Down Bad,” By Taylor Swift’s voice melts into the room as Leon slowly slips my skirt down as it hits the floor.“Shit, Lila.” He looks down at me, voice thick.
I know my green eyes are dark, full of intent, because I like how I’m feeling right now.
Without breaking eye contact, I reach up and pull the pins from my updo, letting my long blonde hair tumble down in waves.
It slips over my bare shoulders, skimming the tops of my breasts.
Soft and slow, just enough to make him stare.
His breath hitches, and I smile, because I know exactly what I’m doing.
"Your turn," I say with a slow smile. I start at the top of his shirt, unbuttoning it one by one. I don’t look up, but I can feel his eyes on me, heavy and unblinking. When I finally slide the fabric off his shoulders, my breath catches. Every muscle is carved like a statue, smooth and defined, exactly how I imagined. But what I wasn’t expecting was the tattoo.
The lightning bolt I noticed earlier wasn’t just on his arm, it stretches across his chest, over his shoulder and down his back in jagged, breathtaking branches.
I reach out and graze it with my fingertips, mesmerized.
“Do you have any more?” I ask softly, tracing the lines from his bicep to his spine.
“Nope. Just the one.”
“What does it mean?” I keep touching it, taking in every twist and turn of lightning scattered across his skin.
“I got it because people always asked me what a panic attack feels like,” he says quietly, voice steady but low.
“This was the only way I could explain it. It starts with a single bolt, right in the center of my chest. A jolt that snaps through my nerves like static, lighting me up from the inside.” His gaze drifts, like he’s reliving it.
“Then it spreads. Fast. Like lightning crawling beneath my skin, branching out until every part of me is buzzing. My body stops listening. My hands go numb. My breath shortens. My heart pounds out of control. My chest tightens like I’m going to have a heart attack.
And then the fear comes. Not of dying, but of surviving it and having to go through it again. ”
He pauses, his throat working through the memory. “You're trapped. Inside your own body, watching it betray you. And no one can pull you out of it. So, you wait, praying it passes. A feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone…”
I place my hand on his bare chest and repeat what he said to me earlier because I know how it feels to go through it. “Leon, I see you for you.”
He tilts my chin up, his lips crashing into mine.
Hard. Desperate. Full of something unspoken.
But all I can think about is the kiss I just shared with Kage downstairs.
That kiss was everything I’ve ever wanted.
So familiar. So dangerously close to the red mask.
It was wild. Addictive. His lips were full and poisonous, laced with something I’ll never be able to forget. They sent a shiver straight to my core.
Leon is the one touching me now. But my thoughts are still with him.
The lyrics swirl through the room, striking me with an ache I wasn’t ready for.
I’m down bad for Kage. But what if I can’t ever have him?
Not just for a night, but for the rest of my life.
What if he lingers in the back of my mind forever, haunting me like the Red Mask and the Phantom, never mine, impossible to forget.
I’m obsessed with someone who will never see me the way I see him. And yet here I am with someone who sees me even when I’m looking away, just like the statue.
Leon brushes his fingers down my arms, staring into my soul like he knows I’m thinking about someone else. I let him go lower and lower, every fingertip brush leaving behind a need. I feel wetness between my legs. I pant, thinking about the one who doesn’t want me.“I’m ready, Leon.”
“Oh, are you? I want to take in every little moment with you, Lila… don’t rush it.”
“But…”
He cuts me off. “Sit on the edge of the bed.”
“Okay, Mr. Amour,” I smirk and take a seat on the luxurious duvet.
He bends down and kisses the inner part of my thigh, slow and agonizing. He kisses up to my freshly waxed mound.
I’ll thank Aster later.
He looks up at my nervous face. Last time I was blindfolded, but this time I get to watch it all. He puts his mouth right on my clit, warm and hungry.
“Mmm, I might keep you around just for this.” I giggle, my head falling back as a moan slips out of me, pleasure winding through every nerve. But even with my eyes shut, it’s not Leon I see.
It’s Kage.
His wild green eyes, that reckless hair, the kind of jawline that begs to be kissed and bitten all the way down to his sculpted chest.
Leon licks and sucks with slow precision, dragging bliss through my core, but I’m haunted by the one man who isn’t here. “Mhmmm… yes,” I breathe, the sound slipping out before I can stop it.
“Babe,” he murmurs, glancing up, his voice rough and teasing, “if you keep making those sounds, I won’t last long enough to take care of your needs.” This man is entirely selfless, and yet all I hear is Kage’s voice.
I look up at the window to see if we have any guests, and I freeze. Am I hallucinating? Are my thoughts coming to life?
Kage stands at the window, and he is completely unreadable .
Should I stop? Should I let Leon keep going? The song bleeds into the silence, and I can’t help but think it.
He could have had me tonight, but didn’t want that, so fuck it. Then let me show him exactly what he’s missing. He made his choice. Now I’m making mine.
I grip the back of Leon’s hair and moan, but my eyes never leave Kage, just as he has tortured me before.
“Lay on the bed,” I breathe, voice thin and charged.
“What?” Leon blinks, still kneeling.
I tilt his chin up, meeting his eyes. “I said… get on the bed. Now.”
A feral spark flickers across his face as he strips off his suit pants, like a man who knows exactly what he’s doing, until they’re pooled at his ankles.
His erection springs free, and I can’t help but stare.
My lips part instinctively because it’s only the second dick I’ve ever seen, and this one looks absolutely delicious. Freshly shaved. Ready for me.
He leans back against the grand headboard, arms tucked behind his head, relaxed but watching me closely.
There’s heat in his eyes, but also something soft.
He may be turned on, but he’s still gentle.
Still giving me control. I crawl toward him, dragging it out to make him sweat , every motion purposeful.
Every movement is a performance. For Leon… and for the one I know is watching.
My skin glistens beneath the low golden light, shimmering like a marquise diamond waiting to be claimed.
I hesitate. I’ve only had sex once. One guy.
One forgettable night. I was on the bottom, and he finished in seconds.
I glance down at Leon’s thick, veined length glistening with a bead of precum .
I didn’t think this through. I don’t know how to do this. But I can’t freeze now. I have to act like I know what I’m doing. They are both watching me.
I am the entertainment.
Kage has been with 521 women. If I did this to him, he’d probably laugh in my face, and I’d go down in history as the worst blowjob he’s ever had. But Leon… he is different. He wouldn’t do that.
I bend forward, letting my tongue glide along him from base to tip, tasting every drop. I arch my back, giving him a full view of my curves.
“Babe… that’s it,” Leon moans.
I glance toward the window. Kage’s hand is pressed against the glass. Steady. Strained.
Good.
Then I see it. Another scar. Deep and jagged, slashing across his right hand.
Where did he get that? No. I don’t care. Don’t think.
I take him in my mouth, not entirely sure what I’m doing, but I get it wet enough to make it easy. Easy enough to slide right on top of him. Then I straddle his hips, guiding his length to my entrance. He hesitates, eyes searching mine.
“Are you sure?” he asks softly. “Since you’ve only—” I cut him off by sinking down, inch by inch.
Shit. That feels good.
“Damnit, Lila. You’re so fucking tight.” He grabs my face as he sits up, pulling me into a kiss.
But he doesn’t kiss me like this is a one-time thing.
He kisses like he means it. He kisses me like I’m his world.
Like I’m not pretending. Like, he’s not second best. And maybe… just for tonight… that’s enough.
I lock eyes with him through the window as I start rocking his hips, slow, steady, grinding until friction sparks against my clit. He’s still watching. Sweating. Unmoving. Ruined. Just the way I want him.
My mouth parts as I move faster, harder. My hand slips to my breast, fingers twisting and pulling at my nipple, chasing the rush building deep in my core. “Oh, Leon… I think I’m about to—”
I ride harder, chasing the edge, eyes shut tight, a wave of heat rippling through me. Leon grips my waist and flips me onto my back, thrusting into me with steady, hungry power. I clutch the sheets, moaning as my orgasm tears through me, raw and overwhelming. And just as I fall apart…
“Oh God… Kage.”
His name escapes my lips like a confession. One I can’t take back. My body trembles beneath Leon as he releases inside me, groaning into my neck. His body collapses against mine, chest heaving, cock twitching inside me with the last pulses of pleasure. We stay tangled in silence, skin on skin.
So that’s what real sex feels like… No wonder Aster keeps going back for more.
I turn my head, eyes drifting to the window. Empty. My breath catches. He’s gone. Like a phantom slipping back into the shadows. As if he were never there at all.