CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
LILA
This is everything I ever wanted. I used to daydream about him touching me. About being the only thing on his mind, even just for a moment. But now that it's actually happening… I’m nervous.
What if I take my clothes off and he changes his mind?
What if he doesn’t like the way I taste?
He’s been with hundreds of women… There has to be someone better than me.
Someone tighter. Prettier. More experienced.
What if he laughs? What if he tells someone?
I want this to be just as unforgettable for him as it is for me, but can I really trust him?
“Well, I told you… I don’t touch what doesn’t want to be touched. So, if you don’t want this—”
I cut him off, dragging my fingertip slowly up his chest with a wicked grin. “Ooooh, is the tough guy backing out? Can’t live up to his own words?”
He grabs my hand, the one resting on his chest, and brings it to his lips. My fingertip grazes the curve of his mouth, soft and slow, and my body reacts before my brain can catch up. Then he inches closer. And closer. So close, I’m terrified he’ll feel how badly I want him .
My throat is dry, raw like sandpaper, desperate for him like I haven’t had a sip in days. My emotions are a traitor.
I know I shouldn’t be doing this. He’s not good for me. But I can’t stop. I won’t stop. Damn him and his magnetic energy.
“Lila, don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Then I realize, I’m biting my bottom lip, eyes locked on his mouth like it’s the only thing I want in this world.
“Bite that bottom lip,” he whispers, his voice deep, dirty, and commanding. “That’s my job.”
His gaze drops to my mouth like he’s already picturing me gagging on him.
And hell, maybe I will. But not without a little attitude first .
“Oh really?” I tease, running my tongue across my bottom lip as my eyes lock onto his. “Then what’s taking you so long?”
I want this. I want him. But to him, this is just a game. A game he’s played with five hundred and twenty-three other women. I’m just another number.
And yet… he laughs. Again.
God, he’s laughed with me more than once tonight. It feels like an intimate moment. And somehow, it doesn’t feel like a game. It feels almost normal. Like he’s not the smug asshole who fucks and forgets. Just like he would do with me.
He closes the distance, his breath teasing my lips, and I don’t look away. “Princess,” he murmurs, voice carved straight from temptation. “I don’t think you can handle me.”
“Oh, please,” I scoff, rolling my eyes as heat coils in my belly. “Get off your high horse, Kage.”
He doesn’t move. His green granite eyes sparkle with mischief. And then, slowly, with a hesitation that nearly breaks me, he cups my face with his bare hands, like he’s deciding to touch something he knows he shouldn’t, even though I already gave him permission.
“Just don’t fall in love with me,” he says quietly, no smile in sight. And it feels like he means it. Like it’s a warning. Not a joke. Not a tease. A truth. And it hurts. It breaks something soft and stupid inside me.
Why can’t I fall in love with you? What are you hiding, Kage?
The words sting. They sink deep. My heart drops straight to the bottom of the ocean. Some part of me knows he’s not good for me, that he is dangerous. That I should pull away. But I don’t care.
I want to fix him. To hold him. To love every part he tries to bury.
To care for him in the dark, where no one else has dared to go.
I want him to be mine. More than the Red Mask.
More than the Phantom. I want Kage. Not just now, not just tonight.
I want him as my past, my present, and every part of my future.
“Only if you promise not to fall in love with me,” I whisper, the heat between my thighs making it hard to speak.
He looks down at my lips before leaning in and kissing me.
The kiss is soft and unhurried, tender in a way that catches me off guard.
Our lips come together like a broken vase being gently pieced back together.
We’re the fragments. He and I are the broken parts, slowly learning how to fit.
This moment feels like a memory I will cherish forever.
Even if I fall in love one day, I know I will still remember this.
This kiss. This feeling.
My whole body comes alive with something that is different. It’s not just lust, not the usual rush of need and hunger .
It feels deeper. It feels like a connection. Like my heart is recognizing something it has been missing.
Every nerve in my body is awake. I can feel everything.
His breath. His hands. The weight of the moment pressing down on my chest in the most beautiful way.
Then I feel a sudden vibration against my wrist. My watch is buzzing.
My heart thrums against my ribs, fast and unrelenting.
I glance down just as his eyes follow mine. The screen flashes. Heart rate alert.
Are you serious? Right now? In front of him?
His smirk spreads slowly across his face, not just in his mouth but in his eyes too. He knows exactly what it means.
That he is making me nervous in all the best ways.
“Are you good?” he asks, his voice low and smug. Heat rushes to my face, and I stumble over my words.
“Yeah… I’m good. It’s just, um, my alarm. To call my mom. You know, check on her.”
“Oh, really?” he chuckles. “Let’s see if we can make it go off again.”
Before I can process the words, his lips crash against mine. His mouth is full and intense, claiming mine with purpose.
He made the first move. That means he wanted me.
He is rough in all the right ways. The way his fingers tighten in my hair.
The way his bare hands rest on the nape of my neck.
The skin-to-skin contact sends a shiver through me, grounding me in something that feels both raw and intimate.
And his taste is pure addiction, a flavor I want to savor for the rest of my life.
Then something shifts. He softens, and the kiss slows.
It becomes gentle. It becomes something else entirely.
I want to believe I’m special. I want to believe this kiss means something. But deep down, I know he has done this before. He knows exactly what he is doing. He has been with so many women. Please don’t fall for him. Don’t fall for this.
A moan slips out of me. His tongue slips between my lips, like an apology for the kiss we shared at the club.
The one where he said he wasn’t turned on.
The one where he made sure everyone knew I had only been with one person.
The one that made me feel small. Like I wasn’t enough for him.
Like I wasn’t experienced enough to keep his attention.
But something about this moment throws me off in the best way. It is warm, which surprises me, considering how cold he is emotionally.
Our tongues move together in a rhythm that feels too good to be new. It reminds me of the times I’ve been with the Red Mask, but this goes deeper. Like he is giving me something he has never given anyone else.
This is probably what he does with all his skanks.
His hands slide out of my hair and grip my back, pulling me closer, as if we are not already pressed together, as if he needs to feel every inch of me, as if anything less would not be enough.
And because of it, I can’t breathe. I can’t think.
I can only feel. Then he tugs my hair back and breaks the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck.
I gasp and wrap my legs around his waist. And that is when I feel it.
Oh God. He is hard. Wait, not just hard… Ginormous.
The way he presses against my clit makes my head spin.
It’s not just the size… it is the texture, the pressure, the rhythm.
It’s Kage. It is better than anything I have ever felt.
Every grind hits a nerve I did not even know I had.
My hips move on their own, chasing the sensation, desperate for more.
What the hell is that? It’s him, but… not just him. There’s something there, and whatever it is, I never want it to stop .
“Keep teasing me like that and I’ll bury myself inside you so deep you’ll feel me for days.” He hisses, his voice low and wrecked.
Please.
I feel the rush of heat between my thighs, sudden and uncontrollable. My panties are soaked. My breath comes in shallow pants, sweat beading along my chest as his mouth drags lower, licking and nibbling down the curve of my neck. Then it slips out of me, soft, breathy, desperate.
“Kage...”
He pauses and gently lifts my chin with two fingers. “Yes, princess.”
Our breaths intertwine, fogging the glass of his office.
“I want your mouth,” I whisper. “Between my legs… Now.”
He smiles again, but this time the look is darker.
Almost sinister. Without saying a word, he slides me closer to the edge of the desk.
His hands lift my skirt, achingly slow, like he wants me to feel every inch of anticipation.
He begins at my knee, pressing his lips softly against my shaved legs. Then he kisses higher.
His mouth continues its path up my thigh, his tongue dragging along my skin just enough to make my breath hitch in my throat. “Take your underwear off,” he growls, his voice thick with hunger and control.
I tilt my head to meet his gaze, letting my voice turn soft and teasing. “I’m not wearing any,” I say, savoring the way the power shifts between us.
Then I bite my bottom lip, not because I’m nervous but because I want him to see what he is doing to me.
His eyes darken immediately. “Fuck, Lila,” he breathes. He pushes my skirt up and over my hips, exposing everything to him without hesitation. But then he stops moving. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares. At me… all of me.
He looks at me like he has never seen anything so raw and beautiful in his entire life. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, Kage,” I whisper, trying to sound calm, even as my heart races. “You’ve seen plenty of pussy.”