Chapter 3
I leaned against the car and studied the parking lot, trying to decide my next move. If my father was about to file a missing person’s report on me, I needed to get in front of it. The last thing I needed was the Lone County Sheriff’s Department putting me into their system as a missing person.
Which meant I needed to pull up my big girl pants and talk to my father.
A shot of whiskey sure would take the edge off.
The entrance to Walmart was only about fifty feet away. I could get a few of those little plastic bottles. What harm would one shot cause?
I shook my head, bitter disappointment flooding me. Would it be this hard to stay on top of my cravings for the rest of my life?
Then again, at the rate I was going, there was a chance my life wouldn’t last all that long anyway. Could James and I really take on someone as powerful as Gerald Knox and live to tell the tale? It was the two of us against an organization.
Then it hit me that James had already taken down an international organization.
If anyone could do it, he could. I just needed him to tell me how he’d pulled it off.
So far, I’d asked very few questions about his past, trusting him to tell me when he was ready.
Maybe I needed to press him on this one.
But first, I needed to talk to my father.
He was probably at his law office, but he didn’t have a direct line to his office, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone there. I called his cell.
“Hello?” He sounded nervous, likely because it was an unknown number. Or was he nervous for another reason?
“Dad, it’s me.”
He gasped, and his voice broke. “Harper. Thank God.”
“I heard you called Louise asking about me.”
“You wouldn’t answer my calls.”
“Maybe I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You wanted to talk to me last week,” he said, sounding steadier now. “You were supposed to meet me at the park.”
“And I told you the next day that I changed my mind.”
“I’ve heard from Nicole Knox.”
I was silent for several seconds. It didn’t surprise me that she’d reached out to him. I knew they’d been in touch. Dad’s partner had seen them together at the park in Jackson Creek. We’d both mistakenly thought she was his mistress.
Hardly. He’d been doling out a warning about my mother.
“And?” I finally said.
“You don’t seem surprised.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Actually, I should have known she would contact you, but somehow, it never occurred to me. I must be slipping.”
“This isn’t funny, Harper,” he snapped. “Nicole wants you dead.”
“I’m sure she does. I suspect I’ve given her quite the scar on her arm.”
“You need to give her whatever she wants. If you do that, she’ll let bygones be bygones.”
I laughed again, this time for real. “You really believe that? After I shot her?”
“She’s given me her word.”
There was no way he could be that naive, but I let it go for now. “And what exactly does she want me to give her?”
“Don’t play stupid, Harper. We both know you found the file your mother hid in that safe deposit box.”
“I think that’s the first truthful thing you’ve said to me to since I was a kid.”
“That’s not true or fair,” he snapped.
“Isn’t it?” I prodded. “Why did you ask me to come home this past winter?”
He hesitated. “Because I love you. I was worried about you.”
“Yeah.” Skepticism dripped off the word. “I’m not buying the I want to be a good dad act. Not anymore. It had a good run, but we’ve moved on. So tell me the truth. Wouldn’t that be a nice change?”
“Harper.”
“Paul,” I said, letting the name land like a slap. “See? I can play this game too.”
“You’re being immature.”
“And you’re a murderer. Aren’t we a fine pair?”
“I never murdered anyone.”
“Maybe you never pulled a trigger, but you’re guilty all the same.”
“Who have I supposedly murdered?”
“My mother.”
“I had nothing to do with her murder. I didn’t even know Nicole had befriended her.”
“How did Nicole know about Mom’s file?”
He didn’t respond.
“You told her,” I said, my voice icy. “Which pretty much guaranteed she’d end up dead.”
“Just like you will be if you don’t give Nicole what she wants,” he spat.
“You honestly believe she’ll just let me go?” I asked in disbelief. “After I shot her and she spilled blood on her pretty silk shirt?”
“Of course not!” he snapped. “Which is why you need to give her the file and then run and hide.”
“If you believe she’ll just let me hide, I’ve got some swampland in Florida to sell you. You and I both know I’m a dead woman walking. The real question is why you care. Because you’ve never cared about me. Not like that.”
He gasped. “How can you say that?”
“You didn’t give two shits about me for years.
So, I know you had a special reason for bringing me home from Little Rock back in February.
Just like I know you have a special reason for wanting me to give Nicole the file.
” When he didn’t respond, I pushed on. “I suspect neither of you know what’s in the file.
And you really need to know for damage control.
” I let that hang for a beat. “And since we’re throwing around theories, I’m going to add this: I think your life depends on me handing over that file. Correct me if I got any of this wrong.”
“These aren’t people you play around with, Harper,” he hissed.
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you got in bed with them.”
“I never slept with Nicole Knox!”
“That’s not what I meant, and you damn well know it.” My grip tightened on my phone. “But since we’re on the subject of affairs, I know about yours from years ago. Aunt Hannah saw you screwing a woman in your home office.”
I really wished we were doing this in person. I would’ve loved to see his face.
“That was years ago.” He didn’t sound as confident.
“I also know you were partners with Dale Ambrose and a man named Richard around the same time, and you and Richard had Dale Ambrose murdered.” I let a beat pass. “Funny how his car accident was so similar to Mom’s.”
“I never had that man killed.”
“Maybe not, but you didn’t turn in the man who killed him either.” I paused. “Here’s a freebie for what’s in Mom’s file—that’s when she started collecting evidence against you.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Harper,” he said, his voice colder than I’d ever heard it.
“Am I?” I countered. “Who put me in the game?”
“I sure as hell didn’t.”
“Bullshit. Like I said, you brought me back home for a reason. That put me in this game. If I hadn’t been living in Jackson Creek, I never would have questioned her death. Hell, I might not have even come home for the funeral.”
“It was time you came home,” he said flatly. “Besides, you had nowhere else to go.”
“You know, I desperately wanted to believe you came because you cared.” My voice rose, and a woman pushing a cart past me with a toddler sitting in the seat gave me a stern look.
“But that was sixteen-year-old Harper, desperate for her father’s love.
” I swallowed hard. “I know better now. If you really wanted me back, you would’ve come for me much sooner.
Before my life fell apart. Hell, you wouldn’t have let me leave home for college without making sure I knew I was welcome to come back anytime.
” Anger burned in my chest as I spat out, “So cut the shit, Dad.”
“If you’re going to take that disrespectful tone, then we have nothing further to talk about,” he said stiffly. “Call me back when you’ve seen reason, and I’ll coordinate a location for you to leave the file.”
He hung up.
Emotion churned in my gut, and part of me wanted to scream. I’d thought confronting him would make me feel better, but it hadn’t. It had made everything so much worse.
Tears stung my eyes.
Was I really so unlovable that my own parents had thought nothing of using me as a pawn?
No wonder I was incapable of having a healthy relationship.
James popped into my head, and I released a bitter laugh. I wasn’t sure what I had with him, but it wasn’t a relationship. It was sex and adrenaline and bad timing. We were each other’s current fucks, that was all. Nothing more. Nothing less.
But I no longer had alcohol to help convince me to believe my own bullshit.
I wouldn’t have killed that many men for a fuck buddy. He was more to me than that.
Still, this was hardly the time for me to analyze what I felt for James Malcolm, who was probably already flipping out about how long I was taking.
I needed to get back.
I got in the car and nearly drove back to the safe house, then remembered I’d promised him a steak dinner. I found a steak house and ordered at the bar, struggling not to order a whiskey to sip while I waited.
I headed outside to escape temptation and leaned against the trunk again, watching the cars whiz by. But being alone with my thoughts was dangerous right now. I was still processing my conversation with my father and fighting the urge to go back inside and get the whiskey I was dying to drink.
I needed a plan. We couldn’t afford to sit and wait anymore, not if my father was going to let Nicole know he’d talked to me. We needed to go to Little Rock.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I called Carter Hale.
“This better be an emergency,” he said, all business when he answered.
“What constitutes an emergency?” I said flippantly. Then, realizing he’d never speak to James that way, I added, “And how’d you know it was me?”
“Because Skeeter told me you took this burner phone. And an emergency would mean your life is on the line.”
“Does the fact that I’m standing outside a steak house wrestling with my demons over ordering two fingers of whiskey count as my life being on the line?”
I’d meant it to come out as a joke, but it fell flat. Carter knew I’d given up drinking. He was the one who’d gotten me the meds to help me through DTs.
“It’s gonna be a struggle, Harper,” he said sympathetically. “But you called me instead of ordering it. That means you still have control.”
“Maybe so, but it’s a sliver.”
“Maybe tell yourself a sliver is better than nothing.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “You’re a glass-half-full person, aren’t you?”
“I’ll deny it to my last breath,” he joked, “but I’m guessing that’s not why you called.”
“Nicole Knox called my father and threatened to kill him if I don’t turn over my mother’s file.”
“What does Skeeter say about that?”
“I haven’t told him yet. I’m still running errands.”
“You shouldn’t be running errands at all,” he admonished. “That’s what I’m for. Getting you what you need.”
“Well, your people didn’t check whether our safe house was halfway clean, so I’m getting bedding, towels, and cleaning supplies. Oh, and steak and a baked potato for James so he’d agree to let me go alone.”
“You two need to stick together.”
“I’m fine. He’s fine. And I’ve only been gone a little over an hour.”
“You’re not thinking about giving Nicole Knox the file, are you?”
“She’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hand.”
“You’d have to get it out of the safe in Skeeter’s office first,” he said with a short laugh.
“Yeah, well, this isn’t about having the physical file. She must know we’d make copies. I suspect she wants to know what’s in it so she and her son can brace for blowback. My father doesn’t even know what’s in it. He claims if I give it to her, she’ll pretend none of this ever happened.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Of course not. I don’t think he does either. This is only about protecting himself.”
“Would you do it for him?”
“The cold, dead hand statement still applies. He made his bed. Now he can lie in it.”
He was silent for several seconds, then said, “I appreciate the update, but I’m guessing that’s still not why you called.”
“No wonder James keeps you around,” I teased. “Along with a whole host of other reasons. But you’re right. There is something else.”
I told him that I’d been thinking of reaching out to some of my old sources in Little Rock.
“Are you asking for permission?” he asked.
“You know how to cut to the chase.”
“I don’t see any reason not to.”
“James won’t like it if I do this alone.”
“You’re right. He won’t.”
“But he’s also not a hundred percent. He got a headache from riding in a car in broad daylight.
I know recovery gets harder the more concussions you rack up.
” I took a breath, knowing I needed to tread carefully.
“I don’t want to piss him off, but you and I both know we’ve been hiding too long. I need to do something.”
“What exactly are you asking for, Harper? My blessing to defy my boss?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m asking.”
“I’m sure you’ve realized he’s protective of the people he cares about. Which means he’ll probably fight you on this. Hard.”
I laughed. “I’m not deluded enough to think that’s why he’ll fight me on it, Carter.”
“Sounds like maybe you are if you think you mean nothing to him.”
My heart skipped a beat. “I didn’t call to hand you a does he like me, check the box note.”
He chuckled. “I should hope not. We don’t have the technology to hand physical objects through a phone call.”
I groaned.
He laughed again. “I suspect you’re asking if he’ll forgive you if you defy his wishes.”
“I doubt there’s any way he’ll agree to let me go alone. He could barely stomach me running errands without him.”
“So that is what you’re asking.” He paused. “He takes loyalty very, very seriously.”
“This isn’t about loyalty.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’ve proven my loyalty multiple times over,” I insisted.
“He’s had a history of people choosing their own best interest over his. Once bitten, twice shy.”
“I’m not doing this for my own self-interest, Carter,” I said in annoyance.
“Are you sure about that?”
A woman walked out of the restaurant, holding up a brown paper bag and heading toward me.
“Our food’s ready,” I said. “I need to go.”
“Whatever you decide, make sure he knows who you’re really doing it for. Even if it is for you. The only thing he values more than loyalty is truthfulness.”
He hung up before I could tell him I already knew that. Maybe that was part of why I respected James so much.