Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 21

ADDY

I was so confused when I awoke the next morning and realized I was back in my bed, in my room in the house. I sat up and looked around, but I was alone, and I had no memory of how I got there.

Had I dreamt the whole thing? My pounding head only hurt more as I tried to think straight. The last I remembered I had been in Kane’s lap, showing him just how broken I was. He’d told me I wasn’t leaving and then nothing. God, I really am losing my mind!

I climbed out of bed just desperate to get moving and focus on something other than the mess that was my mind, but as soon as I stood I realized I was wearing a sweater that wasn’t mine, and that I definitely didn’t go to bed in. It hung almost to my knees and the long sleeves had been rolled up a ways. I pulled the collar up to my nose and inhaled.

“Kane,” I whispered, instantly recognizing the smell of his cologne on the fabric. I hadn’t dreamt the whole thing. I realized he must have brought me back home after I fell asleep on him.

It was crazy what a relief that was to me. Firstly, it meant I wasn’t completely losing my mind, and secondly, it meant the memory I had of the conversation between Kane and I was real. He’d told me he didn’t hate me. He had feelings for me just as I had for him, only he was too loyal to Asher to act on them. That soothed me somewhat, to know what was going on between us wasn’t just one sided, even if it couldn’t go anywhere.

I sighed deeply as I realized how crazy my life was right then. On top of everything going on, I had gone and fallen for three guys all at once. And it wasn’t just crushes. I had real, genuine feelings for them. I didn’t know what it was like to fall for someone, but I was pretty sure that was what was happening to me. I was falling for Adam, Jordan, and Kane all at once and it was just ludicrous. Especially since I was in the worst state I had ever been in, and in no position to even consider dating or anything that entailed. Not with one guy and certainly not with three.

“You’re so messed up,” I whispered to my reflection as I walked into the bathroom.

I rushed through a shower, washing and drying my hair which was a complete mess from the events of the day before and the shower I’d taken during the night. I pulled on some jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt then forced myself to look in the mirror. It was something I hated to do now. I hated the person who looked back. She wasn’t me. She was a stranger, wearing my face. There was no life in my eyes anymore – just darkness. My eyes were constantly ringed with red circles, and I had heavy bags underneath. I was exhausted and I looked it, my face way too thin and drawn. I didn’t think I would ever be brave enough to look at the reflection of my entire body. I knew there were scars. I’d glimpsed them, curling round from my back and onto my hips, in the shower, but I never wanted to see the full extent. I knew I just wasn’t tough enough for that and all the pain it would bring.

It was going to be a rough morning I realized as I left the room and started down the stairs. Kane had told me I needed to rely on the people in my life and that morning I got it, because I just didn’t think I could face another second alone. My thoughts were already becoming heavy and I just needed someone else to be there with me.

I was shaky as I moved down the stairs. It was early and I knew I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep. Not a great start after what the doctor had advised, but what could I do? I had a feeling it would be a long time before I slept soundly through the night.

Eli and Jordan were sat at the counter in the kitchen when I walked in. Adam was cooking, as usual, and Asher pouring coffee. Eli and Asher were dressed for the office, and Adam and Jordan always got up early to get in a workout before breakfast. They were all laughing about something to do with a sports game I didn’t understand, but it was a relief to see them all looking so relaxed and casual after the stress of the day before.

“Addy. You’re up early?” Eli said when he noticed me standing, just watching them all. He got to his feet and came over to me, instantly pulling me in for a hug. I returned it eagerly, happy to be in his arms. “How are you feeling?” he asked as he pulled back and looked me over. There was no missing the worry that crossed his face when he saw my still red, blotchy face and bloodshot eyes.

“Rough night,” I admitted with a half-smile.

“Come and sit down. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep much? You’re trembling,” he fussed as he led me to the seat he had just vacated and lifted me into it beside Jordan.

“I knew I should have pushed harder to stay with you,” Asher added as he appeared across the counter from me and took me in with a look of frustration.

“I’m okay. I’ll try to rest more later,” I reassured them.

“You want something to drink?” Jordan asked as he got to his feet and gave me a gentle smile.

“Just some water please.”

“Coming right up, princess.” He winked at me and I found myself smiling a little. This was why I needed them around me. They barely had to say or do anything, and instantly I felt cared for and comforted when I was with them all.

“Think you can manage some eggs this morning?” Adam asked. I looked over to him and smiled, but shook my head. My stomach was in knots and eggs didn’t sound ideal. “I’ll try some cereal or something a little later,” I added, seeing the worry on his face as he looked me over.

“Are you going to be okay today, sweetheart? Eli and I have some meetings that may run long. We likely won’t be home until midafternoon,” Asher worried as he continued to look at me assessingly.

I wanted to assure him I’d be fine, but the truth was, I still felt the lingering darkness from the night before and that scared me. I looked to Adam, then to Jordan who was just handing me a glass of iced water.

“Will you guys be around?” I asked, embarrassed.

“Yep. I’m a jobless bum now, remember? I’ll be here all day,” Jordan joked.

“Me too. I have some tasks around the house to take care of,” Adam agreed. I let out a sight of relief then looked to Asher again.

“I’ll be fine with the guys,” I told him.

“You have your first appointment with the counselor this afternoon. Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you?” Eli asked.

We had discussed this a few times since Asher got me the appointment. One or both of them had wanted to be able to come to the office with me for support. They told me they didn’t need to be in the room for the session, but they just wanted to be close in case I needed them. Part of me wanted that too. Just the idea of leaving the property without one of my brothers at my side was scary enough, but I was also worried about the state I would be in when I left that session that afternoon. If I was falling apart, I didn’t want my brothers there to witness it. I had been enough of a mess in the time they had known me. I just couldn’t stand to put them through anything more.

“I’m sure. I want to do this myself. I need to try and get some control of my life back,” I explained as confidently as I could. It wasn’t a lie. I did need to try and piece together some kind of life for myself. I just wished I had just one clue how to begin doing that though.

“Ad or I can go with her if she changes her mind,” Jordan added as he took his seat again and covered my shaky hand, which sat on the counter, with his. His grip was so warm and strong. Just that small touch soothed me.

“See? I’ll be totally fine,” I told them with a smile, but they looked far from convinced.

“Just make sure you stay at Kane’s side the entire time you’re out, okay? Not in the session obviously, but Kane will remain right outside the room, just in case,” Asher reminded me. I nodded my agreement. I was anxious about seeing Kane again after the night before, but no matter what was happening between us, there was no way I’d put myself at risk by straying from the side of my protection, not after his warning people could be trying to get to me.

I was relieved when Adam said the food was ready and everyone took seats and tucked in. It took the pressure of them all watching me away and I felt able to take a breath.

“Morning.” My eyes snapped up at the raspy voice as the door from the yard opened and Kane slipped inside. He was dressed in black cargo pants and a long sleeved henley that hugged him in all the right places. He wore a grey wool beanie and his gun holster was over his shoulders as always.

“Hey Kane. Everything okay?” Asher asked as he looked up with a smile.

“All good. Just thought I’d grab some breakfast if there’s some going?” His gaze seemed to gravitate to me as he spoke, and when I gave him a shaky smile, he returned it instantly.

Was this because of last night? Was he there to prove he meant what he said and he didn’t hate me? Or was he there because I’d admitted I had considered hurting myself and he was worried about me? Either way, I was just glad to have him there. Somehow his presence felt like the final piece of a puzzle slotting into place and suddenly I felt so much calmer and more centered with him, Adam, and Jordan all close, as well as my brothers.

“In the pan, bud. Help yourself,” Adam said as he pointed to the stove, then went back to his own plate of food.

“You not eating, pretty girl?” Kane asked as he rounded the counter into the kitchen, but kept his focus on me.

“I’m not really hungry,” I replied shyly. This was weird. For two weeks he’d barely spoken to me in front of others and now there he stood, being kind and gentle with me. I wasn’t sure how to react and it didn’t help that my heart was pounding at the realization all of the guys I was falling for were in the same room with me.

“Maybe just try a little, yeah? It’ll help with that trembling if you can eat something,” he told me as he nodded to my shaking hands cradled around my glass of water. When I met his eyes I saw the determination in them. He wanted me to eat something and I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Okay,” I nodded. “Just a little.”

“You need to show me how you did that, Kane. I can’t get her to eat anything,” Eli piped up as he looked between Kane and I with confusion.

“What can I say? It’s a gift,” he joked as he looked to me with a smile that lit his whole face. He was so handsome, and I knew I was blushing as I just stared.

“You know about Addy’s appointment this afternoon, don’t you? It’s her first session with the counselor.” Asher asked.

“All handled. JT and King will follow us in a separate car. Is anyone going with you, Addy?” he asked as he handed me a plate filled with just a little bacon and eggs. I smiled gratefully, then blushed even more when he grabbed his own plate and sat right beside me.

“No. I…I wanted to do it alone,” I answered when everyone looked to me. I had barely even realized Kane had asked me anything.

“You won’t be alone. I’ll be there,” he told me simply.

“Okay,” I nodded as I turned my focus to the food on the plate. I forced a few forkfuls down, the whole time conscious of how close Kane sat to me, and confused as hell about what any of it meant. I knew I needed to stop thinking about these three guys and focus on what was important – getting through the jumble my head had become and finding my feet again - but I just couldn’t seem to do that.

I couldn’t forget about Adam, Jordan, or Kane. Mainly because I lived with them and they were always there, but also because my brain just wouldn’t let me. It was like Kane had said the night before. I was being drawn to all three of them and no matter how hard I fought it, the feelings for them would not be denied, no matter how many times I told myself it could never be anything more than that. I just didn’t understand why it all had to be happening right then – at the toughest, most messed up point in my entire life. I wasn’t even a little equipped to deal with it all, even if deep down I wished I were.

***

That afternoon had been tough too. First just leaving the property with Kane had been nerve wracking, because I was still so unsure where I stood with him, and he was all I had as I faced an appointment that completely terrified me.

Kane hadn’t spoken in the car really, except to ask me if I was alright. When I lied and said I was, he’d left it at that and we’d driven in silence.

Then we got to the modern building where the counselor had her office and all of my fear had reared up at once. I wasn’t sure I could really face talking to a stranger about how messed up my head really was. The notion of recounting what I could remember had me trembling and the tingling coming to my fingers and toes as anxiety rushed upon me all at once.

Kane had noticed, of course. It seemed he could read my every thought and emotion and in that moment, when I was trying so hard to stay strong and just get through the whole thing, that wasn’t ideal. He’d tried to talk to me as we walked into the building, but I’d just brushed him off saying I was fine, and he’d eventually given up, but he did wrap his arm around me as we moved up to the second floor and to the office Asher had told me to go to. I had accepted that small comfort, knowing I was freaking out more and more with every step we took towards the office.

The session itself had been a rollercoaster of emotions. First I was pleasantly surprised by how kind and patient the counsellor – Laura, as she told me to call her – had been. Her office was warm and inviting, and we had sat in comfortable armchairs as she told me about herself and asked me to do the same. Then she had asked me why I was there and what I wanted to get from the sessions. That’s when things had become tougher. I’d told her the skeletal details of what had happened to me in the time I was held captive, or at least what I knew from the police and my memories and flashbacks. That had been tough enough, then she had wanted to know about how I was coping and I’d just fallen apart. I’d told her how out of control my thoughts became and about me zoning out. I detailed the flashbacks, and anxiety attacks I suffered with, as well as the nightmares. She assured me we could work through all of it and suggested we meet twice a week for the time being.

By the time I left the office I was in a state. Detailing everything I was dealing with had make me feel even more messed up than I already thought I was, and it had brought back a lot of the images that haunted me on a regular basis. I had been so relieved and grateful when I stepped into the small waiting room outside the office and found Kane waiting for me.

“I’ll see you on Friday, okay Addy?” Laura asked.

“Yes. Thanks,” I forced a smile and I was relieved when she went back inside and shut the office door, leaving me alone with Kane.

“That bad, huh?” Kane asked when I looked up to him shakily.

“Worse,” I replied, my voice raspy.

“Come here, Angel.” He opened his arms out to me and I didn’t hesitate to step forward into them. I fought not to cry as I pressed my face against the front of his shoulder and tried to take some strength from how tightly he was holding me. “Talk to me,” he said after a few minutes, but he showed no sign of releasing me, which was fine with me. I would have happily stayed there in his arms all afternoon if I could.

“Not much to say,” I shrugged. “It was just really hard, but I got through it.”

“Of course you did. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty wrung out to be honest. It was a lot.” I admitted.

“I’m so proud of you for doing it, Addy. I know it wasn’t easy but you got through it and you’re being so strong now,” he told me and I just sank further into him as his words washed over me. It felt good that he was proud of me and that, for once, he got to see me managing to keep myself together. God knew he’d seen enough of me freaking out and falling apart.

“I have to come back on Friday, and Laura said the sessions will be tough at first,” I sighed.

“They will, but you’ll deal with it, just like you dealt with today. You’re more resilient than you realize.”

“Really? Because right now I just feel exhausted.”

“You want to go home so you can get some rest?” he asked. I considered it, but if I tried to sleep, I knew things would only get harder. Nightmares were never far away.

“Do you think we could go to Lyle ? I’d like to see Asher and Eli if they’re not busy. Maybe we could get a late lunch or something?” I suggested instead. I wanted to spend some time with my brothers outside of the house and I wanted them to see me when I was managing to remain calm and in control.

“Of course. You want me to call Ash and tell him we’re coming?”

“No. He said they had meetings. We’ll just go by and see if they’re busy. If they are, I’ll just head home.”

“Okay, pretty girl. Let’s go,” Kane said as he released the hold he had on me and took a step away, towards the door. I felt cold without him wrapped around me, but I remembered what he’d said the night before, about needing to focus on doing his job, and I got it. Not only that, but I was grateful for the fact I knew he was protecting me.

Kane had driven me into the city and right up to the Lyle building. One of the other security guys jumped out of the car that had been following us and took Kane’s place in the driver’s seat as Kane helped me out.

“Jesus!” I gasped as I stepped out and looked up at the huge building before me. I had no idea how many floors it housed, but it rivalled the huge, tall buildings around it. It was entirely glass fronted and sported a huge sign with the company logo. “This all belongs to Asher and Eli?” I asked as I looked to Kane.

“You too now, Addy.”

“No,” I shook my head vigorously. “I don’t want any part of the inheritance my father left. I didn’t even know him. That’s Asher and Eli’s money.”

“I don’t think they see it quite that way,” Kane chuckled. “And yes, this whole building belongs to Lyle , as do the office buildings they have in six other cities across the country.”

“Oh my God!” I gasped again. I knew Asher and Eli were wealthy. It was obvious from their designer clothes and the beautiful home they lived in, but I never thought they were that rich! It was too much to even contemplate. They were just so normal when we were all at home together.

“Come on, let’s go inside before you curse again. Don’t think I’ve ever heard you do that before,” Kane laughed as he led the way in through the huge revolving glass doors.

“I didn’t curse, did I?” I asked with shock.

“You did. You said, ‘Jesus’ out there,” he replied with mock horror, making me laugh as I gave him a slight shove.

“I don’t like to curse,” I sighed. “So sue me.” I added with a shrug.

“I think it’s adorable. I’m just messing with you.” Kane led me through a bustling, luxurious looking lobby and straight into an elevator.

“My mom had a foul mouth and she loved to curse at me. That’s why I hate it now. We didn’t exactly have a great relationship,” I explained.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. She’s been gone for years now, probably cursing up a storm wherever she is,” I joked, and Kane smiled. “Asher and Eli have offices on the top floor?” I asked when I realized just how high the elevator seemed to be taking us.

“Yeah. It’s a secure floor so only certain staff members and security are allowed to access it. Asher wanted it that way after Eli was almost snatched.”

“Now I understand why that happened. Kidnappers could have asked for millions, couldn’t they?” I questioned.

“Ash and Eli definitely need security. Let’s put it that way,” Kane replied, and I nodded.

Finally the elevator stopped and opened into a wide, bright space, lit with fancy modern, sculpture like light fittings which hung from the ceiling. There were panoramic windows ahead of us which looked out, down over the city, and the shiny floors beneath my feet were black marble. The whole place looked like some luxury hotel I had seen on TV and I was gawping as I took it all in.

A few feet ahead was a glass wall, and in the middle of it was a door with a keypad to allow entry. I realized that must be the barrier that kept my brothers safe as they worked.

“Does that beep?” I asked quickly, as Kane moved to press his hand to it.

“No, I don’t think so. I never really noticed before,” he shrugged as he looked to me with puzzlement.

“Last time we used a keypad….at that hotel in Las Vegas….the beep. It triggered me and I had a panic attack,” I explained as I looked to the pad with apprehension.

“Cover your ears just in case, okay? I’m here. You’re okay,” he soothed, and I nodded and pressed my hands over my ears tightly. I watched as he pressed his hand to the pad and the door released. He gave me a thumbs up and I released my hands from my ears.

“No beep,” he told me with a smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I just didn’t want to freak out on you.”

“You can freak out on me anytime you need to,” he said as we stepped through the door. “I know things are kind of awkward between us, but if you need me, you can come to me, Addy, okay?”

“Thanks.” I didn’t look up at him, but I was relieved he’d said that. I had a feeling I would need to take him up on that offer some time.

“It looks like Asher’s in a meeting, but I don’t see Eli. Why don’t you go and see if he’s in his office? It’s on the right, around the corner,” Kane told me after he lifted up on his tip toes to see above the frosted parts of the glass into, what I guessed, was a conference room in one corner. I was too short to see for myself.

“Okay.” I had a little pep in my step as I rounded the corner, excited to see Eli in his office and take a look around. It was just another piece of him, and of Asher, that I could discover and I was eager to do that.

“Hey!” I stopped mid step and looked to my right. Sat behind a large glass desk was Zara, dressed just as immaculately as she had been that day at the guys house. This time she had a neat, perfectly fitted, green shirt tucked into the top of a high waisted, black skirt. Her hair was up in some kind of fancy do I couldn’t even fathom, let alone do with my wild hair, and she had bright red lipstick and immaculate eye make-up. “How the hell did you get in here?” she cried as she stood and pointed a bright red manicured finger at me. God, I felt like such a frump next to her. She was everything I wasn’t.

“I let her in, Zara, so sit your bitchy ass back down,” Kane growled as he rounded the corner right behind me.

“You can’t allow just anyone onto the floor, Kane. Does Asher even know this girl is coming?” Zara snipped as she looked to me with nothing but disdain.

“Addy doesn’t need permission to enter a building she now owns one third of,” Kane threw back and Zara looked so crestfallen by the comment, I didn’t even bother to correct Kane.

“That’s not true,” Zara said, not sounding quite as cocky as before. “Asher doesn’t even know for sure she’s their half-sister. She could be some street urchin, just trying to con them both. She certainly looks the part.”

“Asher does know though. Both he and Eli are sure that Addy is their sister and they love her. You can bitch all you want Zara, but you will never mean to Asher even one quarter what Addy does,” Kane said, and Zara instantly looked to me with so much hatred it took me aback. “Go on, Angel. See if Eli’s in his office,” Kane added and when I looked to him he had a small smirk of satisfaction on his face. Zara had dropped back down to her chair and was trying to look busy, but Kane’s words had shaken her. That much was obvious.

I turned my back on her and walked over to the office in the corner. The glass walls were frosted, floor to ceiling so you couldn’t see in, and in the center was a glass door with Eli’s name etched into it. I gently knocked, hoping I wasn’t interrupting anything important.

“Come in,” I heard Eli call. I opened the door just enough to peer around it.

Eli’s office was large, with a seating area just inside the door, consisting of a sofa, two armchairs and a coffee table. One wall was made completely of glass with a view over the city and the other was lined with shelves that were filled with some books, photos, and other knick-knacks that seemed to make the space feel a little more like the Eli I knew. He was seated behind a huge modern black glass desk staring at his laptop when I looked in, and he looked stressed and a little annoyed.

“Hey,” I greeted a little nervously. “Is this a bad time?” Eli instantly looked up and smiled as soon as he saw me.

“Addy! What are you doing here, shortcake? Not that I’m not pleased to see you. I definitely am,” he said as he rounded his desk and strode towards me. I walked through the door and closed it behind me. By the time I turned around again Eli was there, pulling me into his arms.

“I thought I’d see if you and Asher wanted to have a late lunch? I just finished my first counselling session,” I reminded him.

“I know. I’ve been thinking about you all day. How did it go?” he asked as he released his hold and led me to sit on the sofa, where he sat beside me.

“It was hard…really hard, but I made it to the end.”

“That’s great. Do you want to go back?”

“Want is a strong word,” I sighed. “But I am going back on Friday. She wants to see me twice a week for now and I want to try.”

“That’s amazing, Addy. I know it won’t be easy, but I’m so amazed by how strong you’re being.” He took my hand in his and squeezed it a little.

“I’m trying. I want to get past all of this so I can move forward,” I shrugged.

“You will. You’ll see. It will take time, but we’re all here for you.”

“I know. I don’t know what I would have done with out all of you backing me up.” I admitted.

“Asher and I are just so happy to have you in our lives, sweetie. I always wanted a little sister.”

“Bet you never dreamt it would be this much trouble though,” I laughed.

“You’re no trouble, Addy. Yes, you’re dealing with a lot, but even with everything happening, you still bring me so much happiness and contentment. Asher too. Our house feels like a home now we have you in it.”

“Stop,” I whispered as I forced in a deep breath. “Don’t get me crying now. I’ve been doing pretty good at keeping it together today,” I told him.

“Okay, but I want you to know I love you, Addy. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I know that. You’re my baby sister.”

“I love you too, Eli,” I replied as I fought back more tears. We shared a brief embrace as I pulled myself back together.

“Sounds like Ash’s meeting is over. Why don’t you go and see if he wants to get lunch while I finish up here?” Eli suggested, giving me a much needed reprieve.

“Okay. See you out there?”

“I won’t be long,” he agreed with a smile. He kissed my cheek then walked me to the door of his office. “Right over there. He’ll still be in the conference room,” Eli directed me and I nodded and headed over that way. I passed Kane who sat in a chair, in the waiting area that was opposite Zara’s desk. He was looking at something on his cell but he looked up when I passed and gave me a smile, which I returned, reassuring him I was still good. He nodded once, then returned his attention to his cell. The whole floor was quiet, the only noise coming from the conference room where I could hear Asher and several other voices chatting quietly. Deciding I should wait until they were done I leant against the wall to the side of the door. Zara was watching my every step and when I glared right back at her, she shook her head at me, then returned her focus to the screen of her computer. It was very clear just how much she disliked me though. She continued to glance up at me as I waited, as though she didn’t trust me to be in the lavish space or anywhere near Asher, who she clearly wanted for herself, just like Jordan had told me she did. I still didn’t understand how she saw me as a threat to that though. I was his half-sister. It wasn’t like I was interested in him like that. I was really no threat to her and any designs she had on Asher.

I sighed as she threw me another glare, then looked into the conference room, just to focus my gaze elsewhere. The people inside had moved closer to the door now and I could see Asher’s back as he happily chatted with two older men. I looked them over, both in expensive looking suits and clutching briefcases. They were obviously pretty wealthy too if the gold watches on their wrists meant anything. I glanced to them again when they all laughed, something so familiar about that sound. As I did, the one closest to me turned and his eyes met mine with a cold, hard stare. A gasping breath slipped from my lips as I pulled myself away from the wall and backed away from the door. I knew those eyes and that glare. I knew that face. I looked to the man beside him and I realized I knew him too.

“Oh God!” I whimpered as I continued to back away. The images started to flash in my mind and I turned and ran to Kane instinctively. He was already on his feet, watching me with concern when I smashed into his front and grabbed him tightly.

“Get me out of here…please Kane. Get me out of here now!” I gasped breathlessly.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“A flashback…please,” I whimpered. I felt him pick me up and hold me in his arms, but then I heard that laugh again and I was gone as the darkness gripped me tight and wrenched me deep into the abyss below.

“Sit still!” A hard kick to my knee followed the words, barked by the monster who currently owned me. He forced me to refer to him as ‘sir’ but in my head I always thought if him as ‘The Monster.’ He was just one on a long line of monsters who had hurt and abused me in the months since I had been taken, but this one was by far the worst.

I lowered my eyes and remained silent, just as I knew he expected me to. I’d only dared to move slightly because I had been kneeling at his feet for almost an hour now and my legs were numb and cramping.

We were at one of his ‘parties’ and this was the second I had been dragged to. This one, just like the last, was being held in a fancy mansion one of the party goers seemed to own. It appeared they rotated the hosting duties, like it was some kind of supper club or something. But this was no supper club. The attendees were all sick perverts, most of whom arrived with a prisoner, just like me.

At least I was better prepared this time. Last time as I had been paraded through the ostentatious space in nothing but a pair of barely there panties and a leather collar around my neck, I had almost lost it and freaked out at the sight of other women and guys just like me, being treated in just the same way. Some even had leashes clipped to the collars around their necks, as they were led around and hit brutally should they not comply.

This time was no different. As I knelt on the floor at the feet of my own monster, I knew there were two other girls and a guy sat not far from me, while their own monsters sat on couches and armchairs, chatting with mine. The monsters enjoyed speaking about us like we were possessions, and they got all excited and amped up as they discussed techniques for training, and breaking what they called their ‘subs,’ which I had come to realize was us.

The room was filled with men, and some women who were all just like these monsters. At the parties they traded ‘subs’ for the night. Last time I had been led away by three different men, all of whom had hurt me in a variety of terrifying ways before raping me brutally. They showed no mercy or remorse, no matter how hard I cried and pleaded for them to stop. I had heard cries, just like my own, coming from other rooms, but there was no mercy to be had in this group of monsters, and just in case anyone tried too hard to fight back or escape, there were also security all around to keep us in line. There was no escape for any of us. There was no mercy. There was only pain, brutality, and a trail of shattered, broken pieces of all we used to be, left in our wake.

“Have her stand, Hilton. I want to take her in fully,” A deep voice called, and I instantly tensed up. I knew my monster was Hilton. I had heard him referred to by that name before.

“Very well,” he sighed above me. Then came the command, “Stand, pet.”

I had only been with him for a couple of months or so I thought anyway, but I knew better than to not follow his command. I rose to my feet slowly and steadily, just the way he had trained me to, but my body still trembled beneath me in fear. I had been broken so many times in the months since I was taken, yet the fear never left me. I tried to convince myself that it couldn’t get any worse, every single time, but then it always did.

“A little tall for my tastes,” The monster sat opposite me remarked as I stood before them all, all but naked. “Timid too, isn’t she? I usually like them with a little more fire. Nothing I like more than stamping that fire out,” he sneered and I couldn’t help but glance up just enough to take him in. He was portly and older – maybe in his fifties. His large body was confined to a too small pair of brown slacks which he wore with a cream shirt. He was nursing a glass in his hand as he looked me over with disdain. A girl with short blonde hair was knelt at his feet. I couldn’t see her face, but she looked young and my heart broke for her. Was she even eighteen years old? She was so small and I could see her trembling as she kept her head lowered.

“I don’t know. I like the quiet ones. They always scream the loudest, and I don’t like to waste my energy fighting to subdue them. I wouldn’t be opposed to a session with her tonight.” The monster who spoke was sat at the end of a wide chesterfield sofa. Before him was a guy, slim and slight, on his knees and keeping his head down. His monster was slimmer, dressed in a fancy pale grey suit and a blue shirt. I hated the way he was glaring at me, like I were a piece of meat he wanted to devour. I knew that look well by then, and it terrified me every single time.

“I’ll be taking her first,” A deeper voice declared. It came from behind me. “It seems she needs a lesson on keeping her gaze averted and we all know I give the best lessons to naughty little slaves,” the voice announced with a confidence that was absolute.

“Absolutely. I’d be grateful of you were willing to work with her.” Hilton nodded and sniveled. Whoever the guy behind me was, I guessed he was powerful. I had never seen my monster snivel like that to anyone before at the previous ‘party’ I had been taken to..

I tensed when I felt a body close behind me, then I felt a finger run down the middle of my back, tracing my spine until he came to my ass. “Turn and face me, girl,” the voice said more gently, and I instinctively followed the command, keeping my eyes down, though I was desperate to look up. “Eyes,” he added, and I again complied, raising my eyes to meet his.

He was taller than my monster and older too. Wrinkles marred his face, and his body had a slightly withered look to it, even though he still seemed strong. He was dressed in black slacks and a black shirt, all so neat and perfect I wondered how he had sat and kept it that way. There was a gold Rolex on his wrist.

“Look at me!” he barked louder, causing me to jump, but I focused my eyes on his as I started to shake even harder. His eyes were dark and he had a thick head of dark, salt and pepper hair. His face was clean shaven, but the look in his eyes as he glared at me was completely cold and unforgiving. Something about him seemed so familiar, and yet I couldn’t remember seeing him before. I realized he could have been one of so many men who had ‘bought’ time with me at the club. There had been so very many I barely saw their faces by the end of my time there.

“I think I’m going to enjoy this,” he said with a smile that made my blood run cold.

I was slammed back to reality violently. I tore my eyes open as I took in huge gulps of air, in an attempt to just breathe through my panic.

“Addy! We’re here. You’re safe,” Eli said in a panic as he leaned over me. I looked around and realized I was laid on the sofa in his office.

Asher and Kane were stood right beside me too, both of them looking to me with concern.

“Just slow down, sweet girl. Try to take deeper breaths,” Kane added as he crouched beside me and took my hand in his. I looked to Asher, then realized what had triggered my panic attack in the first place.

I sat up so fast I almost head butted Eli, but I didn’t stop to apologize as I got to my feet and looked to the door.

“Where ar-are they?” I gasped as I looked all around me again with fear.

“Who sweetheart?” Asher asked.

“The…the m-men you were with. The monsters,” I panted as I fought to be heard over my gasping breaths.

“There’s no one on this floor but us now, Addy. You’re safe. Just try to breathe, then you can tell us what happened, okay?” Eli encouraged me, but I couldn’t. I had this terrible feeling.

“Asher!” I hurried over to him, stumbling and almost falling against him in my haste.

“Easy, little dot. Everything’s okay. Just take a moment to catch your breath,” he said but I ignored him and grabbed his arm.

“Your dad…I…I need a picture!”

“What? Why do you want that?”

“Please Asher!” I cried. Asher looked reluctant to do it, but he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and started scrolling through it as he also wrapped his arm around me to steady me and hold me close.

“Here,” Asher said as he stopped scrolling. “This was taken a few months before he got ill, for a story the media were running on our father.” I shakily took Asher’s cell in my hand and studied the picture of a man in a dark, pinstripe suit, sat in a wing back armchair and looking every bit the tycoon and tyrant my brothers had told me he was. But that wasn’t the main thought rushing through my mind as I focused on those cold, dark brown eyes. He did look a little like Eli, I realized. And like me – very much like me. That was why he had felt so familiar. That was why I had thought I knew him.

“Oh no!” I cried and I slammed Asher’s phone against his chest, needing the image gone.

“What Addy? What’s going on?” Eli asked.

“Oh God!” I slammed a hand over my mouth as my stomach revolted violently. Kane instantly moved, grabbing a trash can, and bringing it to me just in time for me to lose the meagre contents of my stomach. I retched again and again until there was nothing at all left to come up. I was crying and shaking so hard my teeth started to rattle together.

“Just sit for me, Angel,” Kane said as he took away the trash can and eased me back down onto the sofa. I couldn’t have fought against him if I’d tried. I was too shaken and upset.

For several minutes I just sat trying to take in what this meant. I hadn’t seen enough in that last flashback to know for sure, but I knew enough to make me feel physically ill.

“Addy, please talk to me, sweetheart,” Asher implored as he sat on the sofa beside me and took my hand into his. I looked up to Eli and instantly he dropped to his haunches before me and took my other hand.

“Just tell us, shortcake. Whatever it is we’ll get through it together,” he told me. I looked up to Kane, relieved he was still close by. He smiled reassuringly, then gave me a nod. It gave me the strength I needed to get the words out.

“The flashback…” I began. I was breathing a little easier, but still short of breath and sounding a little hoarse. “…it was one of the parties…the sex parties. I w-was there. You were right.” I looked up to Kane and he nodded again. He had suspected Hilton had taken me to such events. It was why he and my brothers were worried for my safety.

“Oh fuck!” Asher cursed as he gripped my hand tighter. “He was there, wasn’t he?”

“Y-yes. The men from your meeting…that’s what triggered me. They…they were both there too…with him. I…I think one of them hurt me too, but the flashback…it didn’t show everything. It did show him though…he was there, a-and he…” a sob slipped free and I paused to hold any more back. “…he was t-taking me to a room, Asher. I think….I think he…oh God!”

“Who? Who was there?” Eli asked as I sank against Asher’s side and started to sob even harder. It was more than I could stand.

“Our father, Eli,” Asher answered breathlessly, and I just crumbled. “He was there. He hurt Addy…his own daughter.” That edge I had been holding onto slipped from my grasp, and I fell deep down into the darkness of that vast abyss below me.