Chapter 32
chapter thirty-two
MARISOL
“You didn’t have to come all the way here,” I say as I push open the front door of Leo’s house, letting Sabrina and her two suitcases through the door.
She waves my comment away. “I spend every birthday in Sorrento. Why not change it up?”
I close the door behind her. “You went to Paris last year.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t count. Gabriel surprised me.” She drops her bags, looking around the space.
I shake my head, unsure why it makes any difference that the guy who thought he was her boyfriend organized it. Thought he was her boyfriend because he assumed, and Sabrina didn’t exactly correct him.
“Is he here?” she asks. I don’t have to wonder who she means.
I pick up one of her bags and head for the hallway. “No. He’s not here.”
“Well, where is he?” she asks, following me.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. Ever since that phone call from Eva, things between Leo and me have been fragile. I can’t even explain why. We weren’t pretending anymore—at least I didn’t think we were. So what difference does it make that the act is over? The act was over weeks ago.
But it does make a difference. Leo and I have been tiptoeing around each other for days now, and when I told him Sabrina was on her way to Ruby Cove for her birthday, he told me he would give us some space. I’ve barely seen him since.
I’ve hardly been interested in hanging around his house when he’s not around, though, and in the last few days, I’ve experienced the one thing I never thought I would again. Pockets of peace here in Ruby Cove.
I’ve done a lot of walking, attempting to clear my mind—or more like quiet it.
Yesterday, I stumbled upon the small private beach that used to be my safe space as a teenager.
It was where I went when I wanted to avoid everything around me, and I managed to sink back into that feeling of release when I felt the water roll over my toes, my feet sinking deeper into the sand with every wave that passed over them.
And I remembered why I loved that spot so much.
You can see Main from there, but it feels so far away.
Like you’re looking at it from a ship out at sea.
It’s beautiful, and it somehow always puts everything into perspective for me.
That peace I found didn’t last long, though, not once I was back at the house, listening to Leo exist in his room and fighting myself not to go in there and talk to him. But I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t.
It’s clear he wants space, so I can’t do anything but respect that for now.
But I don’t need to focus on him right now. Today is about Sabrina.
“Enough about Leo. What do you want to do tonight?” I ask as I open the door to the guest room opposite mine.
“You tell me,” she says as she wheels her suitcase in, planting it down with a grin. “Where’s the best place to have a party in this town?”
* * *
“Thank you so much for doing this,” I half shout to Marina as she pushes two drinks across the bar to me.
“You don’t gotta do much to convince me to have a party,” she yells above the Latin club music blaring from the speakers behind her.
She winks as I take the drinks, weaving my way through the crowd that Sabrina managed to get here by telling everyone that she passed on the street earlier today that there would be a party at Marina’s tonight.
I find her in a booth at the back of the bar, with Isla on the other side of the table, laughing at something Sabrina said.
“Isla, hi!” She pulls me into the booth beside her. “I would’ve gotten you a drink if I knew you were here!”
“Ah, it’s alright,” she says. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, but when Marina said there was a party tonight, I thought I’d stop by. I feel like I’ve barely seen you!”
“That makes two of us,” Sabrina says before taking a sip of her tequila sunrise.
I just tip my head. “I’ve been busy.” My eyes widen as I look over at her. She knows exactly what I’ve been dealing with.
“Where is Leo?” Isla asks, looking around the bar.
“Uh.” I hesitate for a moment. All I know is that he’s nowhere near me. “I think he’s with Miles. His match is coming up, right?” I ask, hoping Isla doesn’t know her brother’s whereabouts tonight.
“Yeah,” she says. “It’s all he’s been focusing on lately. I think now that he’s had a taste of competing again, he’s ready to sink his teeth into another fight.”
I let out an internal sigh of relief.
“Your brother is a fighter?” Sabrina asks.
“Well,” Isla tips her head, “not by trade. He’s actually a pilot, but he fights for fun, I guess,” she says with a laugh, shaking her head.
“That’s hot.” Sabrina raises her brows at me over the edge of her glass, and I snort. The girl has no filter.
“He’s also madly in love with the woman who’s hosting this party for you,” I say, nodding at where Marina smiles at a man sitting at the bar.
When he turns around, I realize it’s Caio. His gaze roams appreciatively over Isla as a small smile curves his lips, and I find myself thinking of Leo as Isla slides her long hair over her shoulder, looking away from her husband.
The small moment of affection leaves me aching to feel Leo’s eyes on me again. It feels like it’s been months since I felt his touch, when really it’s been less than a week. But a week feels like a lifetime when I have no idea what is going on inside his mind.
I look down at the tequila sunrise in front of me. I have had alcohol since the incident in the city, but something about this damn tequila sunrise is shouting at me like: Don’t you remember what happened last time?
But fuck that.
I pick up the drink, forgoing the ridiculously small straws in favor of taking a big gulp. One that leaves me with my eyes closed and my nose screwed up.
“That’s the way!” Sabrina cheers from across the table with a laugh.
I grin at her. I’ve missed her. No place might feel like home to me, but this girl does.
I quickly down the drink, and by the time I’m done, Marina is at our table with a tray of limoncello shots.
Sabrina squeals before we take a shot each, Isla giving in and joining us.
Marina downs the last one before she’s weaving her way back to the bar.
Sabrina sets down the little glass on the table harder than I anticipated, her eyes wide. “I love this song!” She’s up and out of her seat by the time I can blink. “Dance with me, amo.”
I roll my eyes at her, but take the hand she holds out for me and let her lead me onto the dance floor toward the back of the bar.
We twirl around each other, laughing as the alcohol adds a small buzz to my mood.
Isla stays in the booth, and I watch as Caio wanders over to her, sliding in next to her, and she curls into his side.
I look away, focusing on Sabrina dancing across from me. I try to lose myself in the music, closing my eyes as I run my hands through my hair. I can feel the bass in my chest, a deep beat ruling my body. I give myself over to it, dancing freely and not worrying about what anyone might think of me.
But when I finally open my eyes, I don’t see Sabrina.
I look around for her, but all I can see is the crowd of people on the dance floor surrounding me.
My heart begins to race as I turn in circles, hoping she will appear, but panic begins to crawl up my throat.
I’ve never been claustrophobic, but I imagine it feels a lot like this, because fear sends my heart even faster.
I’m alone, and I can’t get out. There are too many people.
A flash of a memory surges through my mind; this all feels too familiar.
Someone walks past me, knocking into my shoulder, and I find it harder than it should be to right myself. A sudden dizziness blurs the people around me.
I can feel panic settling in my chest, in my throat. I screw my eyes shut, but I can’t find the darkness I seek. I feel like I’m back in Sorrento, back in La Sirena.
I feel like I can’t breathe.
“Marisol.”
I open my eyes to see Isla in front of me. “I can’t—” I shake my head, scratching at my throat.
“Okay, come on.” She wraps her arm around me and drags me off the dance floor.
“What’s wrong?” I hear Sabrina’s voice, but I can’t decipher whether it’s a memory or reality.
“I think she might be having a panic attack.” Isla. So a real moment then.
“Marisol, honey?” Sabrina is in front of me now, and I can’t feel the heavy bass so much anymore. “You’re safe, okay?”
I shake my head, and I get the vague feeling of water on my cheeks.
“Has this happened before?” Isla’s voice feels far away.
I think Sabrina answers her, but I can’t focus on anything but the sense of dread coursing through my body. All sense of control lost to me.
“We need…call…some—Leo.” A shadow moves over me, and my heart only beats faster.
“You’re safe, okay?” Sabrina says, crouching in front of me, and somewhere in the back of my mind, it registers that I’ve found my way to the ground outside the bar. “Just take a deep breath.”
But I can’t control my breath, can’t control my mind or my body. I can only try not to cry.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she says. “I went to the bar to get us another drink. I thought you heard me tell you.”
I cover my face with my hands, attempting to get away from everything, but this panic is inside of me, hiding in the darkness of my mind. And as I sit here against the wall, I get a flash of a memory. A man pushing me up against a brick wall. Hands on my body.
I feel sick, and my heart keeps racing faster and faster, the tips of my fingers tingling. Oh god, I can’t breathe.
I feel hands wrap around my wrist, and I flinch, pressing as far into the wall as I can go to escape.
“Covergirl.” My eyes fly open, and I see Leo crouched in front of me. “Hey. I’m here with you.”
I find myself nodding frantically.
“Can you squeeze my hand, baby?” Then I’m shaking my head. I feel weak.
“I can’t, I—” My head is rolling against the wall behind me.
“That’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” he says. “We are going to ride this out together.”