Chapter 16 #2
I ended the call on her before I really said some shit I would regret.
I knew about Ashanni’s track record. She didn’t hide it.
Baby girl was doing her thing. I didn’t give a fuck.
She was mine now, so all that other shit was irrelevant.
My phone started ringing again, and I saw her number again.
I swore, she was already on my last nerve.
“Daddy, who’s that?”
I ignored Jayceon and answered. “What, man?”
“I’m sorry. I just wanna see my son, Asad. You really gon’ keep him from me?”
“I can’t say what I really want to say to you, but you got to be out yo’ mind to think that’s gon’ happen.
Last week is still fresh on my mind, and don’t you dare act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.
If I knew where you were, you would be a done deal by now .
. . locked up without a chance for parole. ”
“Nigga, fuck you! That ho come along, and you forgot how much you loved me! You used to eat my pussy down to the rind until your nose caught a whiff of her shit. I hope you get fucking gonorrhea in your fucking mouth!”
My nose was twitching. I was so fucking angry.
I stood from the table and went outside.
Ali was outside staring at me. I gestured for him to come over to hear her ass.
“I’m not around Jay, now, so I can say what I want.
You wanna see a kid? How about you go find the one you threw in the fucking river?
Huh? You quiet as fuck now. You so fucking worried about Ashanni.
You need to be worried about why there’s a warrant for your arrest.”
I showed Ali the number she was calling from, and he went to his phone, typing feverishly in that shit.
“How do you know about that?”
“Don’t worry about how I know. The point is that I know. That woman that shot at us last week was the grandmother. I’m not blind anymore, Mila. You need help, but I ain’t the muthafucka for the job. I got a son to take care of.”
“Does he at least miss me?”
She started crying. This bitch was crazy as fuck.
I took a deep breath, waiting for her to calm down.
When her cries stopped, I said, “He does. He asks about you all the time. But that foolishness you did last week? There’s no coming back from that shit.
We could have died. Then Jay wouldn’t have had a mother or a father. That’s what you want for him? Is it?”
“No! I don’t want him calling another woman mommy!”
“That’s your fault! Your fucking fault! Had you been who he needed you to be, he would be with you right now!”
“Daddy, is that Mommy?”
I turned around to see my son standing in the doorway with hopeful eyes. I didn’t know how much he’d heard, but I could only pray that he only heard the last exchange. “Yeah. It’s her.”
“Can I talk to her?”
I glanced at Ali, who was approaching us again, and he nodded. I handed the phone to Jay and put it on speaker so I could hear what she was saying to him. I knew Ali wanted me to keep her talking. They were tracing the call.
“Mommy!”
“Jayceon! Hi, baby! How are you?”
“Where are you? I miss you!”
He started crying, and she said, “I’m so sorry, baby. Mommy is having difficulties, and it’s best that you be with your dad right now.”
“When will I get to see you? My birthday is coming up. Will I get to see you then?”
She started crying again. Jayceon was turning four next month.
There was no way she would see him unless I took him to the jailhouse.
That wasn’t gonna happen. I was struggling with this conversation.
I glanced over at Ali, and he nodded, indicating they had her.
I was about to get Jayceon to give me the phone, but I didn’t have to.
“Jay, Mommy has to go. No matter what happens, just remember that I love you so much. You are perfect. You didn’t do a thing to make things go bad. I messed up. Mommy messed up. Your dad loves you and will take good care of you. Never forget me, okay?”
Jay started crying again, and she ended the call.
I didn’t know what would happen to her at this point, but when it came to my son, it didn’t matter.
He would still miss her, because he was so innocent and ignorant of her evil side.
I didn’t want him to see that version of her.
She was a good mother to him. Despite her past, maybe she did love him.
She had plenty of opportunities to kill him like she did her last baby.
However, I believed her love for him was initially dependent upon her love for me.
I loved her and was there for her until almost two years ago.
She killed that shit. By then, she’d gotten attached to him, but she was also using him as leverage to get me back.
The last guy didn’t want the baby, and that was why she killed it.
The reason for what she did with the twins was self-explanatory.
I wasn’t sure why she didn’t just have an abortion with the last baby.
I knew with the twins, she was a minor and would have probably needed an adult signature to have it done.
Jayceon fell against me so I picked him up. “I’m sorry, Jay.”
“She said to never forget her. She’s not coming back, is she?”
“No, son. She’s not. I’m so sorry.”
He wrapped his arms around my neck. I gave Ali a head nod as he looked on, his lips tight and his face red.
When I went inside, I lowered him on the couch, then grabbed my phone from my pocket.
It had chimed with a message that I knew had to be from Ashanni.
She messaged us every day at two o’clock.
It was a picture of her making a kissy face and the caption read, Give this to my baby, and tell him I miss him so much.
I showed Jayceon. He smiled slightly. “What does it say?”
“It says, ‘Give this to my baby, and tell him I miss him so much.’ She wants me to give you a kiss and you need to know that it’s from her.”
He smiled as I leaned over and kissed his head. He chuckled and said, “You have to do it on my cheek. Mommy Shani kisses my cheek.”
I slowly shook my head and kissed his cheek while he laughed. “Tell her I said I miss her too, and I’m gonna give her a big hug when I see her.”
I sent the message to Ashanni as he watched. Her message came through at the right time to pull him out of the sadness he was feeling. He was young enough to be okay eventually. I had Ashanni to thank for that.