CHAPTER 32
When life drags you back, let it stretch the bowstring. Then release with the force of an arrow destined to pierce through anything in its way.
Hodge’s death investigation is ruled an accident. As the days continue to pass, I can’t let go of the notion that it seems too convenient, too perfectly normal, like the accident was all but wrapped up in a pretty pink bow.
Maybe because Hodge shot one of Veno’s men, it’s not something Veno would just let go. There would be payback for that, and my gut instinct told me Veno had something to do with it.
So I reach out to Bones and ask him to double-check the details, dig into the investigation, and research the driver of the vehicle.
Bones doesn’t find anything in the elderly man’s bank records. Nothing on his credit cards either. And I’ve nearly given up this crazy idea, because surely, if Veno played a part and was somehow responsible, something of value would have been exchanged.
It’s Bones’ idea to do a reverse search. To dig through Veno’s and Antonio’s records for the connection, which to me seems like a needle in a haystack situation, but Bones, being Bones, finds it.
No influx of cash changed hands, but something valuable was erased: a massive amount of gambling debt.
The casino ownership is in the name of an LLC, which is owned by a shell company, which is owned by another cloaked business.
It all ties back to Antonio Chavez, whom Bones compliments as a wickedly smart businessman, because he’s hidden a lot of his shady dealings through layers of shell companies and a great many aliases.
I don’t share this information with anyone else. I use it to arm myself with the knowledge of how ruthless and connected the Thirteen Devils have become if they can pull something like this off with no one catching on.
There’s also the fact that Veno was able to get an appeal, and his case overturned.
He was right back to his old ways, and yet, there’s little heat from the cops, which makes me believe that Antonio is greasing hands and pulling strings.
My guess is he’s blackmailing influential figures to keep his business running smoothly.
It’s what I have done for the Greenbacks, and it’s one of the most powerful methods to get people to comply with your demands.
The more I learn about them, the more I worry that the HOCs don’t see the true beast they’ve gotten into bed with.
It confirms everything Deeds told me and more.
Which has me shifting my focus from trailing Goose, Mateo, and the HOCs to spending some of my time digging deeper into Veno, Antonio, and their operation.
I tell myself it has nothing to do with the fact that Veno is gunning for Goose and the HOCs—that taking Veno out was always part of the plan.
The suitcase Deeds hands to me a couple of hours later is proof of that. The cost of it put a massive dent in my savings. Still, in my opinion, it’s worth every penny, because it contains everything I need to end Veno and his crew—a combination of deadly arsenal.
As I enter the code and flip the suitcase open to inspect the contents, Deeds watches from a few feet away. He backs up and plants his hands and ass on the edge of a massive headstone. “When are you planning to go through with it?”
I shrug as my fingers trail over the syringes, pill bottles, and poison.
“I’m going to build up to it. First things first, I need to select a few women who aren’t cowed by Veno and are willing to take the risk.
I’ll need to earn their trust, and then they’ll need to earn mine in return.
They’ll need to be trained too, so Veno and his men don’t suspect anything. ”
“Do you have a few women in mind?”
I nod. “I’ve been scoping out the building Veno now runs things out of for some time.
There are two, I think, that have potential.
But who knows? The drugs and their addiction will need to be factored in, and I won’t know how far gone they are, or how committed they might be to this cause, until I get to know them.
I’m just hoping the thought of getting back to their families and taking back some of the power Veno stole for them will be enough of a motivation factor that they’ll do the work and take the risk.
” I caress the weapons lying in the form inserts for a moment before shutting the case and relocking it.
I leave the large case at my feet when I stand.
“I’ll offer them freedom from the cage he keeps them in, but they have to be willing to do what it will take to open the door and walk out of it. ”
He nods and takes another look around the empty cemetery to make sure we are, in fact, alone. “And Veno?”
“I’m going to save him for last.”
“You’ll wait for me to get here? I wanna help.”
The smile I give is fake. The lie, an act. One, I rarely use with Deeds, because out of all the humans on this earth, he’s the one I trust the most. And it does warm my heart that he wants to help. But taking care of Veno, has always been something I want to do alone.
It’ll be a day I relive all the trauma I’ve gone to therapy to work through, and I know when that day comes, every bit of darkness I’ve beaten back will rise to the surface to combat it.
A day where I’m hoping I’ll finally lay my demons to rest when I put Veno in the ground, but a traumatic one because of the emotions involved in closing this chapter of my life.
It’s too personal to share with him or any other living soul. So I continue to feed him the lie, knowing I’ll have to apologize and make it up to him down the road.
He chuckles under his breath. “How’s it going with the little buggers.”
I make a face, a sour one. Breeding scorpions and taking care of them without getting stung is a whole hell of a lot harder than the instructions I read online, and than the expert I’d asked at the university led me to believe.
“Let’s just say, I’m surviving. Some days it’s more of a pain of the ass than it’s worth. ”
“It won’t be in the end.”
“No, I expect not.”
Deeds shifts and smirks. “And hows the bird man, treating you?”
I roll my eyes and look away. “Like another regular employee.”
Deeds knows nothing about the incidents where I momentarily lost my mind and kissed Goose, or where we did more than kiss.
I’ve actually shared very little about Goose with him, because he’s completely clean, and the only information I relay has been purely about who I suspect might be a rat for a third party, like the cartel or the Thirteen Devils.
Also, who sides with the Greenbacks coming into New Mexico versus who opposes or dislikes them, on a notable level.
But I’m still working my way into the club, so there’s not a ton of information to be exchanged.
“Still doesn’t realize who you are?”
“No, I told you. He can’t remember certain parts of his life. For whatever reason, that time period slipped into a black hole.”
“Fucking crazy.”
“You’re telling me. I mean, he has recollections sometimes, but nothing solid.”
“So you’ve settled on Stone, then?”
I flip my hair and shrug. “He’s the best option.” I raise a finger for each point. “He’s easy to manipulate. Believes I’m as dumb as I seem. And he’s the HOC most likely to be one of the rats for the Thirteens, based on what I’ve gathered so far.”
He hurrumphs at that and looks off to the side. He seems lost in thought, so I check in.
“How’s your mom doing?”
He shakes his head for a long time and folds his arms over his chest. “Not good. She’s miserable.
Angry. And fed up with the chemo treatments.
” He rubs his hand over his mouth and holds it there a moment before dropping it to his side.
“They just seem to make her sicker. She’s been talking about quitting them altogether so she can just live the rest of her life not feeling like complete shit. ”
“What does your dad think?”
“That she should keep doing them. They fight about it constantly.”
“And you’re what? For it, against it?”
He tilts his head this way and that. “It’s not really up to me, but if it’ll work, then yeah, for it, I guess.
Although, I’m the one mostly taking care of her, so I also see what they’re doing to her.
It’s like they’re killing her or pushing her close to death.
Maybe that’s what needs to happen to kill the cancer, but it’s fuckin’ tears me up to watch it day by day. That’s my fuckin’ mom, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. And I know that doesn’t really mean shit, but I don’t really know what else to say or how to help.”
He sweeps his hand through his red hair as he stands.
“The stuff you’ve been sending her has helped. She loved that spiced tea shit, and the gummies. The blanket is like her daily comfort buddy, and she’s wrapped up in it nearly every day.”
“Did she like the mug?”
He laughs. “Fuck yeah, she did. She can’t wait to smash it once she’s in remission. It’s like a little reminder each day as she drinks her coffee that she’s gonna beat it and then be back to raising hell.”
I smile widely at this. “I love that.”
“Thanks for caring enough to think about her.”
I nod and say, “Of course.” I don’t tell him that it’s not just for her, it’s for him too.
He walks up to me and pulls me into his arms. The hug I give him is intended to convey friendship and comfort. But after a few minutes of holding one another, he lifts my chin and kisses me.
I go through the motions, do all the right things to make it appear as if I’m into it.
But Deeds must sense something’s off because he pulls back and stares down at me. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing. My head’s just on the job, you know.”
He studies me for a moment longer and steps back. “All right. If you say so.” Which is said sarcastically and with a raised eyebrow.
“I just… got a lot on my mind.”
He exhales and fishes his keys out of his jeans. “Guess, I’ll get back on the road then.”
He’s fishing, feeling me out, wondering or maybe hoping if I’ll invite him to spend the night, which is a bad idea on so many levels, but that’s not why I don’t.
Honestly, it’s that my body felt absolutely nothing this time when he kissed me. If anything, it rebelled. Which is disturbing, because I’ve always been attracted to Deeds.
Fucking Finn.
My head’s all messed up over him, and this weird distance between us that developed after the incident at the bar.
We’d fought about him trying to be my protector that night, and since then, he’d backed off.
Which is what I wanted, or at least what I told myself I wanted, because my focus needed to be elsewhere now that Veno was aware I was back in town.
I guess what’s thrown me for a loop is that he’s been content to keep the distance this time, even though he also seems to be watching me from afar, and still throws those intense looks my way.
It’s possible he’s grieving the loss of his friend, or it could be that Veno’s threats had him reevaluating things, but either way, it’s another unanswered question mark in our non-relationship.
Deeds jingles his keys, waiting.
I force another smile I don’t feel. “Raincheck?”
The corner of his mouth kicks to the side. He nods. “Raincheck.”
“Be careful,” I say.
“You too, babe.” He closes the distance, places a kiss on my forehead, and walks away without looking back.
I remain in the empty graveyard long after he’s gone. I use the suitcase as a chair while I plan my next movements and listen to the sounds of silence.