EPILOGUE 2
FLINT
Backstage in our dressing room at MetLife Stadium, New Jersey, I stood in a huddled circle with Cole, Slip, and Lewis. Our arms were draped around each other’s shoulders. Our focus was connected... one . Ignoring the hustle and bustle around us...our entourage—hair, makeup, and wardrobe stylists—waiting to fuss over us, our management team—Blake and Avril and Falon—talking to the media reps and security personnel, our partners laughing and chatting on the sofas, and the photographers waiting to take more shots of us...we took a moment together before life changed yet again. We were minutes away from opening night...our fourth world tour, three years on, almost to the day, since our last tour had ended. The butterflies in my stomach resembled dive-bombing, stunt-performing jet planes. They wouldn’t settle...I didn’t fucking care.
The nervous-yet-excited energy fueled me, not hindering me in any way.
Was I ready?
Hell fucking yes.
It had been another epic journey to get here.
Once I’d returned from my honeymoon with Sutton, sixteen months ago, the guys and I had flown to New York to record at Everhide’s EH4 Records. Cole, Lewis, Slip, and I had written and finessed most of our songs before the wedding, so we’d been ready to hit the recording studio. We’d spent hours, days, and long nights laying down the tracks. We’d had the best fucking time. It was like we’d never been apart. I’d been worried for no reason. After our songs had been mixed and mastered, album number four was done. Our work had blown Everhide’s and Ashlem’s minds. The songs weren’t just good...they were fucking great.
The working title for the album had stuck. Lost and Found had remained.
We’d released the first single last November. Announced our tour in late January, along with our second single. Our third single had hit the airwaves in March. Each song had hit number one on the charts. “ Feeling the Vibe,” track three off the album, had remained in the American top ten for twelve weeks. Totally. Mind-blowing!
Ashlem, our promotional and touring company, had always said they wanted to make us the next Coldplay. It was an honor and thrilling that they believed we could achieve that status. Years ago, when we were signed with WestTyme Records, we’d been on a successful path, but EH4 Records and Ashlem had put us on a bigger map. They’d taken us to the next level. We were now on a superhighway. Ashlem had delivered. Our stadium tour was a sellout across the globe. For the next twelve months, the guys and I would be traveling. Performing. Living the dream. Sutton and Maddy had six months off as of February, thanks to Mia and Peyton’s movie commitments...and I was certain that time would be extended thanks to Sutton’s new plans. But regardless of what happened with the girls’ schedules, the guys and I had ensured we had longer-than-usual breaks between the legs of the tour so our crew could rest and we could spend time with our wives.
Fuck.
I couldn’t believe we were all married.
Lewis and Tia had tied the knot last September in a small service held in Pasadena. Cole and Ava had gotten married in spring in Hawaii.
We were one big, happy family.
This tour would be epic.
I felt it in my soul.
“Guys? This is it!” With a huge grin stitched onto my face, we shoved, nudged, and jostled about in our circle. Contagious energy bounced and hummed between us. No one could stand still. But the clock was ticking down to showtime. I took a deep breath and drew my shoulders back. Time to be serious. “I need to say a few quick words.”
“Just a few?” Across from me, Cole smirked as he hugged Lewis and Slip. He knew I was a man of many words—never just a few .
“Okay. You know me too well.” With a big grin, I flicked my long hair off my face. “But I can’t go out there without you knowing what this means to me. To all of us. This is the first night of the long months ahead. Our hard work has paid off again, and now we get to take this epic production on the road.”
“Woohoo. I can’t fucking wait.” Slip howled into the air and slapped Cole on the back. “We’re ready. We’re pumped. Can’t wait.”
“Me either.” Light filled my chest. I’d never felt so confident about the shows ahead. The past had paved our way here. Each tour got bigger and better. We got better. This...the four of us...this band...and Sutton were my everything. I didn’t want any of us to suffer or make the same mistakes again. We’d learned a lot about ourselves and each other since we’d lost Phil. We’d become men. “You’re my best friends. My family. My life. Each one of us has grown and changed since our last tour. So please, if at any time you need a break, are struggling, feel like shit, want something altered, or want to share how fucking amazing something is, big or small, let me know. I’m here for you. I will do anything and everything in my power to help you, be there for you. I love you guys, no matter what.”
“Ditto.” Cole dipped his chin. “We’re living the dream. Playing and performing with you guys is still as fresh and exciting as it was during our first gig. I live for this shit every day. This tour will be huge. I’m stoked I get to do this with the three of you, Ava, and the kids. I’m one lucky asshole and I promise to give every show my all every fucking night.”
“Too right.” Slip laughed and ruffled Cole’s perfectly styled hair into a tussled mess, then gave him a playful shove. “And do it without the dizzy spells and fainting episodes like last tour.”
Cole clipped Slip on the back of the head, then smoothed his fingers through his hair, combing it back neatly. “That’s the plan. But I assure you, I’m good. Meds keep my blood pressure under control. I’m fit. Healthy. Fired up and ready to go.” He snickered and waggled a finger at Slip as his tone took on a serious edge. “And you? You watch that damn hip of yours. No jumping around too much. And no resorting to hard drugs or pushing yourself over the limit if you’re in pain.”
My stomach cinched, yanking my guts hard against my spine. My throat tightened, running dry. Images of Slip at his worst toward the end of our last tour, hooked on painkillers and cocaine, flickered through my mind. That was something I never wanted to witness again. Rehab and a new lease on life had him looking better than ever. He was still sober, still the life of the party, and still a wild man on the guitar, but he had a new inner calmness and zest for living each day to the fullest. Being with Maddy, and taking getaways to Bowen Island had restored his mental and physical health. I was thrilled he was here...still Slip. Still a Flintlock.
“No. I won’t be doing that again.” Slip hugged Cole and took in each one of us. “I promise my hip is better. I won’t overdo it. I never want to go through hell like last tour again. I have Mads, you guys, and music to live for. I can’t wait to rock up a storm on stage night after night.”
“Hell yes!” Lewis pumped his fist. The biggest grin lit his face. We’d become such great friends. It was like we’d known each other for ten lifetimes. He was our new brother, sent to us by Phil, my brother in heaven. I was convinced of that. Lewis slapped his hand against his chest. “I can’t express how much I love being here.” His chest swelled to the size of a balloon. “It will certainly be different traveling with a toddler. Winter is a handful, but she’s amazing. Tia’s a super mom. But thank God we have Harper.” Grinning, he clutched the back of Cole’s leather jacket and gave him a shake.
“Fuck yeah.” Cole nodded. “She’s got her work cut out for her looking after three kids.”
Harper was at our hotel on nanny duties with Charlotte, Josh, and Winter. The kids kept her busy ...and soon there’d be more.
“She certainly has.” I dipped my chin. “But we couldn’t do this without her.” While she took care of the kids, Tia ran our sound and lighting team. And Ava kept us in line, kept us on schedule. My gaze jumped from Lewis, to Cole, to Slip and back again. I absorbed their energy and fire. “We’re here because we love music, and have incredible partners and each other. I hope that never changes. This is our time. We’re gonna own it and love every second.” Excitement skipped through my voice and hummed through the marrow in my bones. “We have so much to be thankful for and look forward to. But right now...it’s time to rock the shit out of this stadium and give this crowd one hell of a great show. ”
“Yeeees!” Slip clutched the back of my neck and gave me an overzealous shake, but I didn’t stumble. Fuck , I loved my friends. “We’ll be doing this shit forever.”
Cole’s eyes shimmered as he cheered. “You bet.”
“I’m down for that,” Lewis hollered and clapped. “Show one, here we come.”
“Alright.” I unhooked my arm from around Slip’s shoulders, then held my palm out in front of me. The guys followed suit, placing their hands on top of mine. “We’re going to have fun. We’re going to sing and play our hearts out. We’re going to rock this crowd into a fucking frenzy. Are you with me?”
“Yes!” the guys shouted in unison.
“We are The Flintlocks.” I yelled. The vibe between us jumped and ricocheted off the ceiling. It slammed into my chest and coursed through my veins. Best feeling ever. “Let’s go!”
We shot our hands into the air and laughed. We hugged and slapped each other on the back. With a clap of my hands, we broke our circle. We kissed and hugged our partners, gave a thumbs-up to our team...then headed for the door.
Yep.
It was showtime.
***
I stuffed my ear-monitors into place, blocking out the chanting crowd waiting for us on the other side of the huge black curtain. Our stage was massive, bigger than I’d imagined. Towering video projection screens loomed either side of the stage and behind me. Arrays of speakers and rows and rows of stage lights mounted on trusses hung above us. A long catwalk, leading out into the middle of the audience, waited for me and the guys to play on.
In front of my mic, in the dim blue light, Falcon, our tour manager, checked an amp via torchlight, then held up two fingers.
Two minutes to curtain.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. Falcon scurried offstage.
Our crew—light and sound engineers, stagehands, and technicians—would see me and the guys on the monitors. It was totally insane. We needed ninety-three people to take this show on the road. Truck drivers, roadies, camera operators, audiovisual specialists, pyrotechnicians, rigging engineers, caterers, wardrobe, medical and health personnel, security, our management team and more...I guessed we’d fucking made it to the big time.
I glanced toward Lewis on my left. A nervous grin lit his face as he hooked his bass into position. To my right, Slip, with his guitar in hand, jumped up and down on the spot. Then he rolled his hips and stretched his neck from side to side. He was on fire, ready for a big night. He was back to his old self... no ...better than ever. I glanced over my shoulder. Cole sat perched at his drums and pumped his fist in the air.
We were good to go.
This was it.
MetLife. A sold-out stadium. Eighty-nine thousand people.
This was what we’d worked for. We lived for. Were meant to do.
Play music. Tour the world.
I clutched my mic on the stand. My electric guitar hung from my shoulders. The hum in the air was alive. Electric. It coursed through my veins, coiled through my belly, and prickled my skin. But the vision standing offstage stole my breath...and owned my heart.
Sutton stood beside a small light. Others mingled around her, but I only had eyes for my wife.
Her long golden hair fell in waves across her shoulders. She smiled and twinkled her fingers at me. She blew me a kiss, swiveled her hips from side to side, then...patted her belly.
My breath skipped through my chest, filling me with warmth from my head down to my toes, like it had done every day for the past several weeks.
I’d never considered having a family of my own. It had never been on my radar. I wasn’t a never-say-never kind of guy. But when Sutton had said she wanted a baby, I was there. We were ready.
She was three months pregnant. We’d told everyone last week we were expecting. Our baby was due in spring, during the break between our European leg of the tour and our second run of dates in the US.
I was going to be a dad.
Fuck ! That freaked me out. But I had a few months to prepare and couldn’t wait.
I unhooked my guitar and placed it on the stand. I rushed over to Sutton, caught her face between my hands, and kissed her. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” She swept her fingertips down my cheek. “But go. I’ll be here, watching every second.”
“Okay.” I bent down and kissed her tiny baby bump. “Love you too.”
With a skip in my step, I dashed back to my mic and picked up my guitar. The guys chuckled and shook their heads. Yep, they understood how stoked and smitten I was. They were just as bad over their wives.
I had my band. My friends. A gorgeous wife and a child on the way.
There was only one thing that could add to how happy, content, and grateful I was...and that was to sing.
Perform.
Play for this crowd .
I hooked my guitar strap over my head and swung my Fender into place. My pulse thrummed with a quickened tempo. My heartbeat thundered against my ribs. Night one. Let’s go. I gave the thumbs-up to Joel, our head stagehand who was standing stage left, down in our technical pit, surrounded by monitors, spare equipment, and racks of guitars.
He spoke into his headset, giving Tia in the main front-of-house control booth and our sound and lighting crew the cue to proceed.
The pre-show music ended.
There was a silence for less than a millisecond. My heartbeat filled my head. Thud. Thud. Thud. The lights in the auditorium went out. The audience screamed and shouted, clapped, and cheered. The video screens flashed to life. The metronome cues clicked in my earpiece. One. Two. Three. Cole struck his drums, and the curtain fell away.
As I hit the first note on my guitar, raw vibrations charged through my chest.
A sea of colored LED wristbands lit the huge stadium before me. Phones flashed. People jumped up and down. Arms swayed in the air.
What a sight!
I couldn’t stop grinning. Laughing. Dancing around. Savoring this epic moment.
This . . . was a dream come true.
I licked my lips. Swallowed hard. Drawing air into my lungs, I stepped up to the mic...and sang. We opened the show with our hit, “Feeling the Vibe.”
You kick-started my heart like no one else
The light in your eyes makes my insides melt
Your smile is like sunshine every day I’m with you
Your love is the cure, nothing else will ever d o
I need you real bad
I need you in my bed
I need you at night
I need to hold you so tight
I’m feeling this vibe
Burning deep inside
This fever’s getting hotter
My heartbeat stronger
I’m dancing on a high
Yeah,
I’m feeling this vibe
After that, I said hello to the crowd, then sang another couple of tracks. We churned out a medley of popular songs from our past albums. Cole pummeled out a solo on the drums. Slip and I dueled on our guitars and Lewis joined us, strumming a wicked rhythm on his bass.
Then it was time to slow things down with our song dedicated to Phil. Our song with a twist—one of his that we’d tweaked, like Phil was talking to us. Slip had insisted we perform it. We couldn’t have done this on our last tour; we were still processing his death. Now, the timing was perfect. As we sat on stools at the front of the stage with acoustic guitars in hand, and Cole with a single tom, photos of Phil were projected onto the video screens. I had to dig deep to bury the onslaught of memories and emotions, but I was no longer crippled by grief. We’d had a fun-filled, crazy life together. We’d made music. We were family. I’d love and remember him forever. He’d watch over us...always. I drew in a deep breath and sang in a low, sultry voice, slow and husky, just above a whisper:
Could you not see I was hurting inside?
Could you not tell, or were you blind?
Did you not know how much I cared?
Do you know I loved what we’d shared ?
I’m sorry I had to leave, yeah, I had to go
Leaving you was hard, just so you know
Loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done
We had it good, yeah, we had so much fun
I see you’ve moved on with someone new
It kills me, but I’m happy for you
I wish you were here by my side
I miss you always, I cannot lie
I hope some days you remember me
The good times we had are hard to beat
There were times when we were up and we were down
We fought and laughed and were foolish clowns
But I know . . . we were brothers ’til the end
I loved you with everything
I loved you with everything
I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight to ward off the bombardment of emotions. I hauled in another big breath and a new calmness washed over me. Yeah ...Phil was with us. He was here. My voice soared, filling the stadium with unchartered energy.
Remember the high and feeling alive
Together forever. All the good times
We were so young, united as one
Together forever, searching for love
We sang from the heart, right from the start
Together forever, never apart
Then I toned it down, dropping my voice back to a breathy rasp.
I may not be there, but I’m always here
I may not be there, but I’m always here
Soaring through the clouds, I’m doing fin e
Never wanted to hurt you, don’t trouble your mind
Look to the stars, feel me in your heart
I’m always here, we are never apart
I’m watching you from up above
Showering down on you with all my love
I’ll see you again one day soon
I promise that I’ll always love you
Please know . . . we were brothers ’til the end
I loved you with everything
I loved you with everything
As Slip played the last chord, the crowd roared and erupted into applause.
Fuck! I didn’t know how I got through that, but I did. The first time singing a heartfelt song live was always rough. I’d be fine after tonight, guaranteed. The guys and I nodded at each other. A silent, solid understanding passed between us. Yeah, we loved Phil. He’d loved us. He’s our guardian angel.
That song had hit everyone hard. I didn’t think there was a dry eye in the stadium. So, it was time to change the mood.
We transitioned into a few sexy I-want-you-girl singles, a couple of seductive I-love-you ballads, several I’m-better-off-without-you songs, then hit our love-living-life party tracks. I’d been singing my heart out, and the boys and I had rocked up a storm for just over two hours, when we slammed out the last beat of our encore. Pyrotechnics lit the stage and sky above the stadium. Coated in sweat, we ran offstage. We hugged, cheered, and hollered with our team. What a fucking epic show! My blood charged through my veins. Fire blazed through my soul. The adrenaline rush was a total high.
I made my way over to my wife. I picked up Sutton, spun her around, and kissed her sweet lips.
She laughed, and her head fell back. “Put me down. You’re all sweaty. And hot.”
“You love it.” I placed her on her feet and kissed her .
“I love you.” She wrinkled her nose, covered my face with her hand, and pushed me away.
But I caught her wrist and drew her into my embrace. She wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t object.
I threw her a mischievous smile. “Want to show me how much?”
“Maybe. If you behave.”
“Not my style.”
“Then you’d better take me back to our hotel.”
I murmured low into her ear, “Deal. We’ll get out of here as soon as possible.”
We headed for our dressing room. The guys and their wives followed.
“Wicked show,” Slip hollered as he drew Maddy into the room and smothered her with a sweaty kiss. Going by her giggle, she didn’t seem to mind the onslaught.
“We totally fucking rocked,” Lewis bellowed, scooting over to Tia, who’d joined us. “Thank you for not flashing lights in my eyes.”
“You’re welcome.” She gave him a kiss on his lips. “You were awesome tonight.”
“Everyone was.” He tugged her against his side. “That show was incredible.”
“Totally. One show down. Ninety-three to go. Oh, yeah.” Cole pumped his fist into the air, then attacked Ava’s face with a ton of kisses. He drove her backward, and her ass connected with the counter at the back of the room. She didn’t tackle him to the ground or put up a fight. Guessed she didn’t mind his dripping sweat.
“Hmmm.” Her eyes glinted as she ran her fingers through his damp hair. “Want to celebrate?”
“Always.” Cole lifted her onto the counter and nuzzled into her neck .
Yep ...they’d be banging it out somewhere soon, like they often did when the kids weren’t around.
How life had changed.
My band and I were riding another huge wave of success, but we had slowed down. We didn’t push ourselves as hard and as fast as we’d done before. We made time for our families.
This tour would be long and tiring, but a hell of a lot of fun.
A total high, performing every night.
I touched the silver bracelet dangling around my wrist—the one I’d gotten from Phil.
I missed him every day. But I remembered the good times. The love and fun we’d had. The songs and music we’d created together. As brothers. As a band. As friends.
The lost lyrics Tia had given us had found their home. His words had been embedded into our hearts and souls and music.
His memory would always live on in us. He was part of our legacy.
I may have lost him, but I’d gained so much. I’d found Sutton. We were about to have a family. I’ve never been so freaking happy.
“You okay?” Sutton cuddled into my side.
I swept her hair back off her face and pressed my lips to hers. “Yes. I couldn’t be better. I have this.” I jutted my chin toward my band, friends, and entourage. “And you.”
“Are you ready to do this on repeat for the next twelve months?”
“You know I am. I love being on stage.”
“And you’re so good at it.”
“Don’t make his head swell any further, Sutt.” Slip clipped me on the back of the skull. “His ego is big enough.”
“Don’t listen to him.” Laughing, I drew everyone into a circle. The energy in the air was still electric after our show. “What an epic start to the tour. The crowd was incredible. We didn’t have any major fuckups.” My transmitter had failed but was fine after a quick swap. Slip had tripped on a cord. Cole had snapped a stick. Lewis had broken a string. Some stage lighting hadn’t worked. But otherwise, it had gone off without a hitch. “You guys rocked. Let’s grab a drink and celebrate...just not too hard, so we can do this all again tomorrow.” And again and again over the long months ahead.
“Let’s party!” the guys cheered and clapped.
Our wives laughed and hugged us.
With my arm draped around Sutton’s shoulders, I absorbed the love in the room.
I couldn’t wait to watch my baby grow inside my wife’s belly. I couldn’t wait to hit the road and perform every night. I couldn’t wait to become a father.
I planned to play music for the rest of my life. I was here because I had incredible friends ...and Phil had been a part of our lives.
We’d never forget him.
I promised to live every day to the fullest, surrounded by those I loved...with these people.
This was my family.
This was true friendship .
This was love and happiness.
We were The Flintlocks.
We’d be together for life.
We were on tour.
We’d rock on forever . . .
***
Thank you for reading The Flintlocks Rockstar Romance Series. I hope you loved Flint and Sutton, Lewis and Tia, Cole and Ava, and Slip and Maddy as much as I do. I’m sure these characters will make cameos in future books I write .