Chapter 18
ROSE
The birds are singing. I recognise tui and grey warblers, and tears well in my eyes at how familiar it all is. I don’t know where I am and I don’t remember getting here, but I used to wake to the sound of birdsong every morning. Now I can again.
The empty space beside me in bed is still warm.
Zak. I may feel adrift about so many things, but he holds me in place, solid and strong and good.
He undressed me at one point, and I slept in his arms all night — I know that much from the brief kisses we shared in the dark before slumber overtook me once more.
I slide out from under the blankets, finding a note sitting atop the robe that’s draped across the foot of the bed, and fresh tears well as I read.
Rose,
Just downstairs grabbing tea/coffee for us. I know there’s a lot going on but we’re in this together.
Love you,
Zak
I slip the robe on over my naked body, tying it at the waist, and pull back the curtain that hangs over the window.
I am struck by the beauty of it all. A blue, cloudless sky and native bush greets me. There’s a balcony here, and I play with the lock on the strange glass door, biting my lip as I slide the door open.
The crisp winter air smells so sweet. I take in great big lungfuls of it as I step barefoot out onto the wooden decking, ignoring the biting cold. It’s more than worth it to feel the morning sunlight on my skin.
“Rose.”
I turn at the sound of Zak’s voice. He’s there in the room, wearing a matching robe far too small for him, and I grin at the sight of his bare legs, the hem barely reaching the middle of his muscular thighs. “You found me,” I say quietly.
The look he gives me is intense, stealing the breath from my lungs. “I found you,” he agrees. “You look beautiful.”
I know I’m blushing. We’ve done so many things together, and yet I feel a nervousness now that didn’t exist before. I suppose it’s because I’m truly in the flesh. “And you are as handsome as ever,” I tell him as he joins me, his big hands settling on my waist.
In the sunlight his eyes are a lighter shade of brown. I reach up, running my fingers over his jaw, feeling the short stubble growing there. “I’m here,” I whisper, touching his long black hair, worn loose around his shoulders.
“You’re here,” he agrees. “I’m never letting you go.”
I nod, leaning into his open arms. I have grieved for my family already, and I will continue to forever. I have so many questions about my father and my newly-discovered half-sister. I want to know where I was trapped, what Zak saw, and how they freed me.
It would be so easy to panic, but Zak’s embrace grounds me and brings me back to the present.
“How do you feel?” His voice is deep and smooth, wrapping around me like a hug. I take one of his huge hands in mine, lifting it to my lips, kissing his fingers before pressing it to my chest, over my heart.
“Alive,” I whisper. “And so happy to be here with you, my love.”
There are the practicalities of the living that I suddenly have to get used to again. Eating, drinking, and relieving myself all seem so strange after months of an existence in only the dark, not truly alive.
The tea Zak procured is delicious; hot, milky, and a wonderfully floral twist on the Earl Grey that I’m used to.
There’s accompanying fresh scones, jam, and cream, and Zak and I sit on the bed, our legs tucked back under the blankets as we eat.
I cry as I take my first bite, half-sobbing, half laughing around my mouthful as I look at Zak’s worried face.
“I thought these days were done,” I explain.
“All the cream scones were behind me forever.” The euphoria I feel at a simple mouthful of food — at being able to eat and feel full — is overwhelming.
“I’ll bake you scones every day if it makes you happy. I can’t claim responsibility for this batch though… ah, you wouldn’t believe who made them,” he adds sheepishly.
“Who?”
“Zara.”
It takes me a moment to connect that name. “The wolf woman you lived with? The one whose wedding it was that you went to?”
“Yeah. Evander is her and her husband’s pack alpha, and he had them stay here overnight and guard us, to keep you safe.
I know that might seem weird, but I’ve gotta be honest, I was grateful that he picked her to be here rather than some other wolf, because I know she does take it seriously.
I feel safe trusting her with your life, if that makes sense?
And I don’t mean to sound grim about the life thing, but —”
I silence him with a hand on his arm. “It’s fine, you sweet man. I’m not bothered, so you can stop squirming in your seat,” I add with a grin.
“I just didn’t want you to be upset. You know it’s been years, and the only woman I want for the rest of my life is you.”
“I know.” I brush a lock of dark hair back from his face. “You dance near-naked for a room full of women twice a week and you think I’m bothered that you are still friends with your former lover? It doesn’t bother me in the slightest; I know what kind of man you are.”
“What kind of man am I, then?”
I lean into his side, sighing as he slides his arm around me. “A loyal one,” I say, pressing my lips to his cheek.
When we’re done with breakfast Zak suggests we shower in the adjoining bathroom.
“I’ve never taken one,” I admit. “They existed, but they weren’t common.
I’ve always wondered what it’s actually like to stand under water like that.
More relaxing than having a bucket tipped over your head, I imagine. ”
“I’d say so.”
I’ve seen all of Zak’s body many times before.
I’ve watched him dance. I’ve taken him in my mouth, ridden him to completion, had him watch me as I touched myself, but there’s something so very vulnerable about being naked in the light of day and in the flesh.
“You okay?” he asks, his gentle eyes focusing on my face as I stand bare, my robe a puddle at my feet. I nod silently.
“Is it okay if I take mine off too?”
I nod again.
“I could come to one of your shows now,” I say, eyeing the way his muscles move under his green skin as he steps into the shower. I jump as he turns it on, and he grins. “It’s louder than I thought!”
“They’ve got pretty decent water pressure here.
I’ll turn it down a bit.” It grows quieter as water flow lessens.
“And yeah, you can come to any show you want. I’m not gonna lie, it makes me nervous, just because it’s one thing to know what I’ve been doing, and another for you to see it for yourself. ”
I understand what he’s saying. I’ve tried to picture it, what it will look like for Zak to be on stage, his groin in another person’s face, and all the sexual energy that comes with his performances.
“When I watch you move, all I can ever think of is that you’re so beautiful,” I tell him honestly.
“I know some of your routines are there for comedy —” He’s told me about one involving rockstar costumes that apparently always gets a laugh from the audience “—but you exude such life when you dance. I don’t think I’m going to be focusing on anyone else on stage, and as you’ve said, it’s an act. ”
“Yeah. I promise you, I’m not popping boners on stage. Here, though…” He points to his erect penis, and I laugh quietly. “I can’t help it, when I’m around you. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
“I’ll wash you,” he says quietly, and it’s so easy to take his outstretched hand. He smiles at my shocked face as I step under the spray, my mouth falling open as I slowly tip my head back into the stream.
“Oh my lord, this is glorious.”
“It’s good, eh.”
“It’s fantastic.”
There are soaps and lotions in bottles, each one smelling delicious.
Zak pours some into his hand and massages it into my scalp, quietly directing me to close my eyes and tip my head back.
My heart is so full it might burst as he rinses it away, his touch so gentle, as if I’m made of glass.
That same touch extends to my body, soaping my breasts and stomach and hips, dipping lower, between my parted thighs.
Beneath the spray he stands behind me, kissing my shoulder, and I lean back against his huge body, my breath coming quick as he circles his fingers in exactly the right spot.
I bite my lip and come as silently as I can — which is not that silent at all — my legs weak in the aftermath.
When I spin around he lifts me, pressing me against cold tiles, the heat of him in front of me echoing the heat in my core.
Now that I can taste him, can breathe in the scent of his skin, can feel every minute touch with such detail, his kiss is all the more electric.
I dig my hands through his wet hair, my hips around his waist, the prick of his claws on the meat of my behind making me moan into his mouth.
“I want —” I start, though I get no further as I’m cut off by another desperate kiss.
“I want to fuck you but I can’t risk getting you pregnant, not right now babe. I didn’t pack condoms with my ‘going to save Rose’ outfit.” His lips press to mine again, tongue sweeping into my mouth, and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of moments like this.
“That’s fine.” The difference between the size of our two bodies really doesn’t make intercourse in this position all that feasible. Perhaps if he spun me around and held me braced against the wall… “What about you?” I kiss his neck and bite at his earlobe. “You should come.”
He sets me down on my feet but remains hovering over me, a towering presence, one forearm braced against the tiles above my head.
With his free hand he takes his cock, pulling back the foreskin, his eyes on me as he sets a quick pace, pleasuring himself.
As I reach down to touch myself I’m certain that this is the most erotic of all the things we’ve ever done.
I gasp as he erupts, thick white ropes painting my breasts and stomach, the heat of it pushing me to the edge and tipping me over it, leaving me whimpering and weak-kneed.