Chapter Fifteen
JAKE
Everything feels so wonderfully hazy and magical. I’m sitting on a beach and the ocean breeze is fluttering my hair. Where am I?
Suddenly, I realize it’s not a dream.
Something is actually tickling my hair.
I pop my eyes open and find myself face-to-face with Lilah.
She’s trying to put a golden plastic crown with fake gems on my head, but the moment she sees I’m awake, she giggles and runs out of the room.
Despite my fatigue, I laugh. Having siblings, you get used to this sort of thing, and warmth floods through me at the sound of her laughter.
This feels deeper than just playing with siblings, though; as I hear her little pounding footsteps, there’s a tender feeling I can’t quite name settling in my chest. Eyes closed, I listen as she scrambles to the kitchen. Abbie gently scolds her.
“Lilah, I told you not to wake him up. That wasn’t very nice of you.”
“Sorry, Mommy.”
Chuckling softly, I climb out of the tangle of blankets and make my way into the kitchen. I’m still not fully awake, and bang my muscular shoulder into the side of the door. Abbie stares at me. I smile.
“Good morning,” I say, scratching the side of my head. “Gotta say, the smell of whatever you’re cooking is drawing me in like a moth to a lightbulb.”
“Hopefully it doesn’t cause the same result.” Abbie narrows her eyes, but there’s a smile on her face.
“Hope not.”
Abbie is cautious, still, but there’s a different vibe to our interactions now. I get it. Whatever drama is between us matters less than keeping her safe.
She is wearing an oversized t-shirt and tiny shorts that show off her slender legs. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun and I have the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her neck. I want to leave a mark there so that anyone who sees her knows she has someone.
Especially that fucker stalking her. I want to make it clear that he better stay the hell away from her.
I’m brimming with rage at the thought, but also crippling guilt. If I’d been around, this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe she wouldn’t have left for Harrisburg if I’d stayed in touch with her. She wouldn’t have felt the need to leave Ivy Glen, and wouldn’t have had to raise her child alone.
Wouldn’t have stumbled on to the motherfucker’s radar.
There’s not much I can do about the past, but I’m not going to let anything happen to her or Lilah now. I’m going to be here. I’m going to protect them.
I’m going to make this stalker bastard regret ever bothering Abbie to begin with.
“Hope your shoulder isn’t going to fall off after that plunge into the door frame,” she murmurs, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. “Have a seat. Breakfast is just about ready.”
Nodding, I move to the kitchen table and settle into one of the chairs. A moment later, Abbie places a plate loaded with bacon, eggs, and pancakes in front of me.
“Woah,” I whistle. “That’s quite the spread.”
“I know you have to keep your energy up,” she replies matter-of-factly. “Carb load before practice or a game.”
I grin up at her. “Thanks. That’s thoughtful of you.”
She blinks, her cheeks turning pink and then quickly picks up Lilah to settle her in her booster seat next to me. Abbie places a Minnie Mouse-shaped plate with a pancake, strawberries, eggs, and a little bit of bacon in front of her.
Without thinking, I start cutting up Lilah’s food into smaller pieces. I’m halfway through the pancake before I realize what I’m doing. My hand stills over the plate, but the kid’s already watching me with those big, curious eyes, so I finish what I started.
“Do you want some syrup, princess?” I ask, reaching for the bottle.
Lilah scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. “No, yuck! Honey.”
The corner of my mouth twitches and I arch a brow. “You don’t like syrup? You like honey on your pancakes?”
She eagerly nods. “Yeah!”
I chuckle. “You know what? I like honey on my pancakes too.”
Looking around the table, I spot a jar of honey and grab it, drizzling some on Lilah’s plate.
Across the table, Abbie raises a brow, clearly surprised by my actions.
I shrug. “Eight younger siblings, remember?”
Growing up, I did my best not to be the burden my stepdad, Kevin, thought I was, so I jumped into helping with my younger half-siblings without complaint.
It didn’t make Kevin think any better of me, but I did enjoy taking care of my brothers and sisters, and when they were young, I actually got a taste of the unconditional familial love I always wanted.
That didn’t really last, though, as they got older and fell under Kevin’s influence.
It was all made worse by the fact that mom never treated me like anything more than a mistake.
An inconvenient reminder of her life prior to being “happily married with kids.”
“Fanks, Jake,” Lilah chirps, picking up a piece of pancake.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” I say, unable to stop the smile that pulls at the corner of my mouth.
Abbie busies herself preparing her own plate, dropping her eyes from me, but I catch the way her jaw tightens when I say that. I don’t know if she’s annoyed or something else.
Finally, she looks up and meets my gaze. “So, you staying here—was that just some overprotective, impulsive thing you said last night? Or did you actually mean it?”
I blink. “I meant it. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”
“You didn’t even hesitate.”
“Yeah, well,” I say, “you said you were dealing with a stalker. Alone. Forgive me for not loving that idea.”
“I didn’t say I was alone. I said I was handling it.”
I raise a brow. “Same difference when no one else knows it’s happening.”
She huffs, frustrated. “I didn’t want anyone else getting dragged into it.”
“That’s how people get hurt, Abbie,” I say. “You can’t keep shit like that to yourself.”
That earns me a glare. “Hey, word choice!”
I smile at this. “Sorry.” Right, right, can’t say ‘shit’ with the kid here. “Still, you can’t keep people at arms length. It impacts them as much as it impacts you. And obviously it isn’t working for you.”
She grits her teeth at this, but holds in the furious response she clearly wants to have. Instead, she mutters, “I’m just being practical.” She pauses, looks away, then continues. “You think you can come into my life and just fix things, but that’s not your responsibility.”
Anger pulses through me. Is she really complaining that I want to help her?
Sucking in a breath, I try to calm myself down and see things from her perspective. She’s been on her own with Lilah for so long, and now I’m just invading her space and her life… even if it is to help her, I can’t confuse help with control.
I run a hand through my hair, exhaling. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
“No?” she says, voice low. “Then why does it feel like you’re picking one?”
“I don’t mean it to seem that way.”
She sighs and shakes her head. “Whatever. Ugh! It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be snapping at you like this. This whole thing is just stressful.”
I nod. “I can’t imagine what this has been like for you. I really just want to help, Abbie. That’s it. I swear.”
She regards me before dropping her gaze and begrudgingly replying, “Yeah, I know. We’ll figure this out. Hopefully the cops can catch this guy soon and this will all be over.”
So eager to get rid of me, but as I look between her and Lilah, who’s munching happily on her breakfast, I don’t think I’ll be able to just walk away from them so easily. Not now that I’ve stepped up to protect them, all but staking my claim.
“What are you going to do about hockey?” she asks. “You’re really going to drive back and forth from here to Boston?”
I shrug. “Carter did it. It’s not that far.”
“Seems super inconvenient.”
I arch a brow. “I don’t mind.”
That’s not entirely true, though it’s not because I mind the drive. I hate the idea of leaving her alone, even for a short amount of time.
“I have practice later today,” I tell her. “But if you’re still worried, I can skip…”
“I’ll be fine,” she assures me with a sigh. “Really, you don’t have to upend your entire life.” She hesitates a moment. “It’ll…it’ll really be nighttime when I’m the most uneasy, so as long as you’re here then, it’ll be okay.”
The small admission that she wants some kind of help makes me smile softly. “I’ll be here. Don’t worry.”
I toss my duffel bag over my shoulder and grab my keys off the counter. I’m halfway to the door when Abbie walks out of the hall. She’s been in Lilah’s room, putting her down for her morning nap. When she spots me, she arches her brow.
“You’re heading out?”
“Yeah,” I say, pulling the door open. “Practice.”
“Break a leg.”
Can she ever give me a break? But there’s a little hint of a smile on her face again, and that makes me smile, as well. “Thanks. I’ll be back before dark, don’t worry.”
A flash of relief crosses her face, but she quickly looks away. “See you later.”
I leave before I can do something stupid like say I’ll be back for dinner.
Getting in my car, I start the engine and drive out of the apartment building’s parking lot. Ten minutes down the road, the silence presses in on me. My thoughts are racing.
I hate leaving Abbie like this. It feels like I’m leaving her vulnerable and open to danger, and not just her - I’m leaving Lilah potentially at risk too.
Lilah.
I think about when I arrived at the apartment last night and Lilah nearly jumped into my arms, as if she trusted me without question. Then I held her until she fell asleep, so sweet and innocent, feeling safe enough with me to cuddle against my chest and relax.
This morning, when she wanted honey on her pancakes instead of syrup, just like me…
If she was mine, wouldn’t Abbie have told me?
What if she isn’t mine?
That thought somehow hits me harder than the possibility that she could be my daughter.