Chapter Seventeen
JAKE
My mind is moving a thousand miles a minute.
Lilah’s not mine.
I’m not her father.
Abbie said it. Laid it out there as plain as day.
I should be happy, right?
After all, I’ve never wanted kids. Never wanted a family.
I like my independence and being able to live my life however I choose.
Now I know for certain, I don’t have to stick around because I feel responsible for Abbie and Lilah.
Once this stalker thing is dealt with, I can just go and get back to my life.
Really, this should be a relief.
And yet, it feels like there’s a weight pressing down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I can’t stop thinking that another man has touched Abbie. Another man has this intimate connection with her and gets to claim Lilah as his own.
So where is he? Where is the asshole? Why isn’t he here right now with Lilah cuddled against his side as he watches cartoons with her?
Why am I here instead of him?
Stretched out on the couch, my arm wrapped around Lilah, her hurt knee propped up on my leg.
She’s freshly bathed and wearing pink footie pajamas, her arms wrapped tight around her stuffed bear.
If the bastard knew what he was missing, he’d be banging down the door to get here and be with this amazing little girl.
It’s crazy how much I’ve come to adore her in such a short amount of time, especially when I’ve never wanted kids or a family of my own.
There’s something about Lilah, though. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s Abbie’s. I’m not sure, but the idea that she’s not mine for some reason feels worse than the possibility that she could be.
Is she really not mine? When Abbie said those words, it felt like a physical blow, right to my gut.
I was a bit taken aback by how devastated I was.
I could tell Abbie regretted her words when her eyes went wide and the color drained from her cheeks, but it was too little too late.
I’d left the room so I could cool off, and when I came back, I was determined to act like nothing had happened.
But I’m still twisted up inside, especially now that I’m spending this time with Lilah, feeling so protective of her.
Abbie is in the kitchen, cleaning up dinner dishes, and the whole scene is very domestic and tranquil and peaceful.
And I don’t hate it.
In fact, I kind of like it… which makes her earlier words even more heartwrenching.
“Yake,” Lilah murmurs. “Sleepy.”
“That’s okay, princess,” I assure her gently. “You can go to sleep.”
She snuggles deeper into the nook between my arm and chest and rests her cheek over my heart. Within moments, she’s asleep, her breathing steady and even.
I gaze down at her. At this perfect little bundle of giggles and cuddles and my heart aches.
What kind of bastard wouldn’t be around for her?
“Is she asleep?”
I look up at Abbie, who’s standing at the end of the couch staring at us with a hesitant look on her face.
She’s got her hair up in a messy bun again - I’m really coming to like it when she does that - and is wearing a big crew neck sweatshirt and black leggings.
I’m hit with the overwhelming urge to pull her into my arms to cuddle with me and Lilah, but I resist.
“Yeah, she is.”
“I’ll put her to bed.”
She comes over and carefully picks Lilah up out of my hold.
Cradling her against her chest, Abbie turns and heads down the hallway toward the bedrooms. I stand and follow.
Reaching Lilah’s room, I lean against the doorframe with my arms crossed and watch as Abbie gently places the tiny girl in her toddler bed.
She takes her time, making sure that Lilah is still asleep.
As I watch the quiet moment, something tugs at my chest.
Abbie moves away from the crib and I back out of the doorway so she can step out of the room and close the door behind her. We’re standing face-to-face, so close I could reach out and brush my fingers along her cheek.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I murmur, resisting the urge to touch her.
I hate this rift between us. As much as her words stung, it doesn’t make me want her any less.
Maybe I won’t ever stop wanting her, if I’m really honest with myself.
“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.
You’re obviously an amazing mom, and I shouldn’t have doubted you even for a second.
I’m really proud of you. You’ve raised a really great kid. ”
She blinks up at me, clearly taken aback.
“Um, thank you,” she whispers.
A tense silence falls between us and I rub the back of my head awkwardly.
“So, uh, you’ve really taken to this responsible mommy role pretty naturally,” I murmur. “You’ve come a long way from the wild girl I knew back in the day.”
She snorts. “Wild? I was the furthest thing from wild. I was a responsible, shy nerd.”
I furrow my brow. “What? You’ve always been sassy and bold. I’m always playing catch-up with you.”
Rolling her eyes, she grumbles, “That’s because you never noticed me in high school. My sassy side didn’t come out until you and I started hooking up. You have this talent for drawing it out of me.”
“Really?” I think back to high school and try to picture her, but there are no memories that stand out. It really is only after we started hooking up later that my memories of her are sharp and clear. Fuck. That makes me feel like a bit of a douche bag. “Well, shit. I’m sorry.”
She shrugs. “No need to be sorry. We were kids. It doesn’t matter now.”
I take a step closer and tilt my head, pleased when she doesn’t move back.
“You know, I kind of like that I bring the sass out of you.”
She smirks. “Oh, you do, do you?”
“Yeah, I really fucking do.”
I take her face in both my hands and kiss her again.
Unlike her soft brush of lips against mine, this kiss is hungrier.
Needier. More desperate. For a moment, I wonder if she’ll push me away, but she immediately melts into me, curling her fingers into the front of my shirt.
I slide my tongue along the seam of her mouth and she opens it to let me inside.
“Jake,” she whimpers after a few moments. “We shouldn’t….”
“Right.” I move to pick her up in my arms. She lets out a gasp of shock.
“What are you doing?”
“Moving this to the bedroom.”
She doesn’t argue, though she works her bottom lip with her teeth in a nervous motion.
Once we’re inside her room, I cross to the bed and set her down on it.
Climbing in after her, I cup her chin and drag my thumb across her lip, freeing it from her teeth.
She stares up at me, her breaths heavy and her cheeks pink.
Her chestnut hair is spread around her head like a halo, and her chocolate gaze is smoldering.
“Tell me if you want me to leave,” I murmur.
She stares up at me, as if letting my words sink in, before she shakes her head.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
That’s all I need to hear. I kiss her again, pulling her lip between my teeth before slipping my tongue into her mouth. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds onto me, kissing me back, matching my fervor.
Slipping my hands up inside her t-shirt, I cup her breasts and pinch her nipples, making her gasp. The sound sends a shot of heat rushing through me straight to my cock, and my desperation for this woman grows.
Shoving her shirt up over her head, I toss it aside and then make quick work of her bra, needing to get her naked as quickly as possible. When her breasts are free, I take them in my hands and massage them before lowering my head and wrapping my lips around one stiff peak.
“Jake!” she cries out before remembering she needs to contain her voice. She bites her knuckle to keep from making too much noise as I continue to suck and lick at her nipples.
Fuck, her skin is so soft. So smooth. Her breasts are bigger than when we were hooking up—fuller and heavier. Her hips are a little wider. Subtle indications of the changes her body went through when she entered motherhood. She’s lush and tender, and I can’t get enough.
“You’re so damn perfect,” I murmur, fluttering kisses in the valley between her breasts.
Her fingers brush through my hair and she arches her back, but she doesn’t say a word. I glance up at her, and her gaze is hooded and heated as she watches me slide down her body, leaving a trail of kisses behind.
Settling between her legs, I rest her thighs on my shoulders and gaze up at her as I lower my head and press my tongue to her hot folds.
“Oh my god,” she whimpers.
I take my time, savoring the taste of her pussy as I lick and suck on her tender flesh. When I swirl my tongue around her clit, she undulates her hips up into my face. I want to watch her fall apart completely, so I suck on her harder and slip two fingers inside her at the same time.
Abbie slaps her hand over her mouth to stifle her cry as her body jerks and clenches around me. Her orgasm is swift and hard and I continue to pump my fingers and tongue into her, drawing out her release as long as I can.
When she starts pushing against my head and tries to wiggle out of my hold, I show her mercy and let her go.
Grinning, I look up at her. “You good?”
“Yeah,” she gasps. “But I need more.”
Greedy, lusty girl. So hot and lush and mine.
Mine?
At this moment at least.
Moving up her body, I capture her lips in a rough kiss as I take hold of my hard cock and line it up with her entrance. I tease her, rubbing the head up and down her folds, coating it in her release. She whimpers and tries to push herself onto my dick, but I pull back before I slip inside.
“Jake!” she groans in frustration. “Fuck me already!”
“So demanding,” I chuckle. “There’s that sass that turns me on so much. Hold on, though. Let me get a condom.”
“It’s fine,” she hisses. “I’ve got an IUD.”
I grit my teeth, feeling suddenly possessive and caveman-like. “Getting pregnant is something you worry about often?”
“Oh, please,” she scoffs. “Don’t get all alpha male on me now. Do you want to fuck me or not?”
I lower my face so I’m a breath away from her lips. “Yeah, I want to fuck. And I’m going to fuck you so good and hard that you forget about every other cock you’ve had besides mine.”
She narrows her eyes and glares at me.
“Then stop talking and do it.” Reaching down, she wraps her hand around my dick. I hiss out a breath at the feel of her soft palm and tight fingers. She drags me to her entrance and I find I can’t resist her anymore. Grabbing her wrists, I pin her arms over her head and thrust into her hard.
“Fuck!” she moans, throwing her head back and arching her back.
“Fuck, your body takes me so well,” I growl as she squeezes me so tight, for a second I’m afraid I’ll bust right this second.
When I’m certain I won’t come immediately, I start to move, holding her hips down as I pound into her. She writhes beneath me, lost in the pleasure and I can’t stop watching her. Her breasts rise and fall heavily and her hair is spread out around her, making her look wild. Almost ethereal.
Seeing her so lost in her pleasure only intensifies my own. I need to get her to the edge again before I go toppling over so I press my thumb to her clit and rub it in tight circles. She grows slicker and I move faster.
I take my other hand, releasing her wrists, and wrap it around her throat. She gasped and I feel her clench around me, growing wetter instantly.
“You like that, don’t you?” I grunt, squeezing her neck and making her squirm. “You’re still such a kinky little slut.”
“Oh, God! Harder, Jake!”
“You’re so fucking hot, Abbie.” I hold her down and ram into her at a brutal pace. She turns her head and bites the pillow to hold back her screams.
When her second orgasm hits her, I lean down and capture her cries in a deep kiss. She drags her fingernails down my back and her pussy squeezes me so hard, I lose control and come so hard, stars explode in my vision.
Growling against my mouth, I shove into her one final time as I come so hard, my vision blurs.
When I’m totally drained, I drop onto the bed next to her, my breathing heavy, sweat beading my forehead. Abbie is fighting to catch her breath as well.
“Holy shit,” she murmurs at length. “We did it again.”
I chuckle softly. “Yes… yes we did.”
She looks over at me with a small grin. “We might be too good at this.”
I meet her gaze. “I think you’re right. It’s awfully hard to resist you.”
Her eyes widen a little bit and she whispers, “It’s hard to resist you too.”
Wrapping my arm around her, I pull her onto my chest and tuck her head under my chin. Neither of us says another word. We just lay together, soaking in the warmth of our afterglow as we try not to think about how complicated our situation really is.
Sunlight sneaking through a crack in the curtains hits my face and I blink my eyes open.
I’m still in Abbie’s bed, and she’s fast asleep, curled up against me.
Fuck, she’s so beautiful. Peaceful and relaxed.
I don’t want to wake her, but I also know we don’t want Lilah to catch us together like this.
Reluctantly, I slip out of the bed, careful not to disturb Abbie.
Grabbing my clothes, I get dressed and make my way out of the bedroom and head to the kitchen.
Wanting to stay busy so I don’t pounce on Abbie for a quickie, I decide to make breakfast. There’s a smile on my face as I start cooking, and a lightness in me I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.
Last night was good. Really, really good, and not just because of the sex… though that was fantastic. It was because of what came after. Holding Abbie and falling asleep in each other’s arms. Feeling like I belonged there, with her.
It’s strange that I feel like this. I’m realizing that the life I’ve been trying to avoid - a domesticated family man dependent on others - actually isn’t so bad after all.
Maybe it’s not life in particular, though. Maybe it’s just Abbie.
While bacon is sizzling in a pan, I quickly go to the living room to grab my phone, which is still sitting on the couch where I left it last night.
As I pass the sliding glass door to the balcony, I freeze.
What the fuck?
Painted across the glass in bold red letters, each letter about six inches across, is a message—presumably for me.
SHE DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU.