Chapter Twenty-Five
ABBIE
Sitting on the bed, I watch as Jake packs for his overnight trip to Atlanta.
It’s early Friday morning, and he has a game there tonight and then another tomorrow afternoon.
My stomach is twisting with anxiety since it’s only been a couple days since his car was vandalized, but I do my best not to let it show.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with?” he asks, glancing up at me as he packs sweatpants into his duffle.
I give him a reassuring smile, even though there’s a part of me that wants to jump at his offer so I don’t have to stay here by myself.
I hold back, telling myself that I can’t be afraid to be on my own.
There’s no telling how long it will take the cops to catch this stalker, and I can’t let my life just go on pause for months — or longer.
Besides, I do have to go to work, and I’m not about to let the stalker keep me from doing my job.
“No, I need to stay,” I tell him with a sigh. “I can’t leave Dr. Westbrook high and dry.”
Jake flashes me an annoyed look and grumbles, “Fucking Westbrook. If he cared about you, then… why are you smiling?”
I hadn’t realized, but my smile widens. I can’t help but grin at his show of jealousy. It’s unnecessary, but kind of adorable.
“Okay, fine,” he huffs. “I get why you want to stay behind, but can’t you at least stay with your dad and Vivianne while I’m gone?”
“No,” I reply firmly. “I don’t want to potentially bring danger to their door, especially with Lilah there.
Don’t worry. I’ll lock the doors, and there’s the camera and security company keeping an eye on things.
Plus, the police are monitoring that one patient you’re so worried about, so I’m sure I’ll be totally fine. ”
Jake lets out a long sigh. I know he’s not happy about this, but he stops pushing the issue.
“All right,” he murmurs. “I’ll check in with you while I’m gone. Several times. For my own peace of mind. Okay?”
“Okay.” I climb off the bed and cross to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and tilting my head back to gaze up at him. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll be fine, I promise.”
He hugs me and drops a kiss to the top of my head. “If anything happens to you, I swear to God…”
“Easy, champ,” I chuckle. “Your caveman is showing.”
He grins. “I’ll show you caveman.”
To my surprise, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like I weigh nothing. I shriek with laughter as he drops me onto the bed and follows after me, and just like that, neither of us are thinking about anything but each other.
At work later, sitting behind the front desk, I still have a smile on my face thinking of Jake. He’s been texting me throughout the day, cute little messages as he keeps me updated on his trip.
Jake: Hey beautiful. I can still taste you… just thought you should know.
Jake: Heading to the airport. Still time if you want to rush here to meet me in a grand romantic gesture! Don’t forget the roses
Jake: We’re getting ready to board the plane. Since I’m sure you’re already missing me, just assuring you that when I get back, I’ll fuck you so hard and good that you still feel me between your legs for a week. So you have that to look forward to.
That last one made me wet and breathless, and I suddenly missed him so much I wasn’t sure I could wait until Sunday to have his cock in me.
It’s kind of startling how intertwined with each other we’ve become so quickly.
I don’t know what we are, if we’re anything, but the more time we spend together, the more nervous I grow that it’s going to hurt if and when things all fall apart.
Suddenly, the clinic’s front door opens and I look up to see Sophie walking inside, holding two takeout bags from Sal’s. We usually have lunch together since her office is right around the corner from the clinic. Sometimes, Kerry joins us, but today it’s just Sophie and me.
“Hey!” She smiles and crosses the reception area to the desk. “Ready for lunch?”
“You bet!” I stand up and we make our way to the break room at the back of the clinic. We pass by Dr. Westbrook’s office and he’s busy going through papers on his desk, so I don’t bother him. When we get to the breakroom, we spread our food out on the table and sit down across from each other.
As we dig into our burgers, we chat a bit about our days,
“So, Jake has his away game tonight, right?” Sophie asks
I nod, my heart feeling heavy at the thought of him being away. “Yeah, he’s flying now. He’s been texting me all morning, keeping me updated.”
“Ah, that’s so cute,” Sophie gushes, but then her expression grows serious. “Any leads or anything since the car incident?”
Shivering, I shake my head. “No, but the police are reviewing video footage from the restaurant, so hopefully they’re able to figure it out from that.”
A sudden sound of a loud crash from the hall startles both of us. I jump to my feet and run out of the breakroom to see what happened and find Dr. Westbrook on the floor. There are papers and clipboards scattered around him and he’s scrambling to gather them all back up.
“Are you okay?” I ask, kneeling down next to him to help.
“I’m fine,” he hurriedly assures me. He brushes himself off, and looks deeply flustered in a way I’ve never seen him before. “Just fine.”
“Are you sure? I can?—”
“Look, I tripped over my own shoelaces.” His face is crimson. “Clumsy of me.”
His words are short and his tone harsh, but I’d probably be snippy if I made a mess like this. It’s going to take forever to organize these papers again.
“We really need to update our system,” I sigh with a shake of my head. “We’re living in the stone age with all these clipboards and papers.”
I reach for a clipboard and a couple of papers to try and help him, but he snaps, “Don’t touch anything!”
I jerk my hand back, like I’ve been burned and stare at him with wide eyes.
“Oh… I’m sorry. I just wanted to help.”
He clenches his jaw and gives me a look that I think is supposed to be apologetic.
“No, I’m sorry,” he grumbles. “I just have a particular way I like things organized.”
I suppose that makes sense. Still, I’ve never seen him snap at anyone, so I’m a bit shaken.
“I appreciate your concern,” he tells me, “but I’ve got this. You go on back to your friend. It’s all right.”
I slowly push to my feet. “Okay… if you’re sure.”
“Yes, quite sure.”
Reluctantly, I make my way back into the breakroom, leaving him to his mess.
“Everything okay?” Sophie asks as I sit back down.
“Yeah,” I reply, trying my best to sound nonchalant. “Dr. Westbrook tripped and dropped some papers. He’s fine, though.”
“Oh, I gotcha.” Sophie shrugs and goes back to eating her burger.
By the time we finish our lunch and make our way back out into the hallway, Dr. Westbrook has gotten all the papers and clipboards picked up and is in his office again.
Except, now, he has the door closed, which is a little strange.
He usually only closes it when he’s having a private consultation with a patient.
I walk Sophie to the front door and she gives me a wide smile.
“You want to meet for a girls’ night tomorrow?” she asks. “I’ll be the designated driver if you want. I really just want cheese fries from Danny’s Bar.”
Chuckling, I nod. “That sounds great! I could use some girl time.”
“Woohoo! It’s a date. I’ll talk to you later, then.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
She gives me a quick hug before walking out the door.
I make my way to the back of the clinic again after she’s gone, but I pause in front of Doctor Westbrook’s office.
For a moment, I consider knocking and checking to see if he’s really okay, but I think better of it.
He seemed so upset earlier, and I wonder if he was embarrassed that he fell like that.
Maybe I should let him have his privacy.
I know I prefer being alone sometimes when I’m having a bad day.
I decide not to worry about it. I’m sure he’ll be fine after a little while. I’ll just let him be, for now, and get back to work. Still, the nurse in me can’t help but wonder what really happened, or if he had some sort of medical condition that may be the cause.
After a long day, I head to Dad and Vivianne’s to have dinner and spend time with Lilah and put her to bed. I’m trying to maintain as much of a routine for her as possible, even though she’s not staying with me at the moment.
“All right, sweetheart,” I say once I’ve changed her into her pajamas and brushed her teeth. We’re looking through the collection of books in her room together. “What story do you want tonight?”
“Ummm… fish!”
I chuckle. “ The Rainbow Fish ? Again?”
“Fish! Fish!”
“All right, all right.” I grab the book she loves so much, with multicolored fish with shimmering scales. Lilah loves how pretty the fish is. “We’ll read it again.”
I settle in the rocking chair in the corner and Lilah climbs onto my lap. As I read and rock her, I try not to let my aching heart distract me too badly. I want to be here, in the moment with her—I don’t want to think about the reasons she’s not coming home with me tonight.
I also don’t want to think about how guilty I feel that Jake doesn’t get this time with her either.
It’s becoming clearer and clearer that I can’t keep holding onto this secret.
Jake so obviously cares for Lilah, and is so good with her, and she adores him in return.
It’s not fair to either of them that I continue standing in the way of their bond with my lies.
Even if Jake doesn’t want to be with me in the end, he should still have the opportunity to really be Lilah’s father…especially because he’ll be so damn good at it.
Before I finish the story, she’s nodding off, cuddled up against me, and I just want to stay here with her. I don’t want to put her in bed and walk out the door, but I have to. It’s for her own good.
Setting the book aside, I stand, cradling her in my arms and move to her bed. Tucking her in, I give her a kiss on her forehead and then just stand there and gaze down at my daughter for several minutes before I force myself to turn and walk out the bedroom door.
Dad’s waiting for me in the hall, his gaze sympathetic as I close her door behind me.
“You okay?” he asks.
I blink back the tears gathering in my eyes. “No… not really, but I will be once this is all done.”
He scratches at his chin. “I know Jake is gone tonight, so if you want to stay…”
“No, no,” I shake my head. “I’ll be fine, Dad. Thank you, though. Just keep Lilah safe for me.”
“Absolutely. You stay safe too. If anything happens to you…”
He chokes up a bit and I close the distance between us and give him a tight hug.
“Don’t worry,” I murmur. “The police are looking for the guy and Jake made sure the apartment is secure. Nothing will happen to me.”
He wraps his arms around me and gives me a squeeze. “I know, I know, but I’m your father. It’s my job to worry.”
Chuckling, I reply, “I get it. I’ll be fine, though. I promise.”
He kisses my forehead and then walks me through the house to the front door. I tell him and Vivianne goodbye before heading to my car. He stays on the front step and watches me pull out of the driveway, waving when I start driving off down the street.
I sit in silence the whole way home, not even putting on the radio. My chest aches and I’m still struggling to hold back my tears, no longer needing to put on a brave face for the people around me.
By the time I get back to the apartment, I’m heartsick and lonely and hate how quiet it is because the people I want with me here, more than anyone in the world, can’t be close right now — and it’s all my fault.