Chapter 1
Luca
Resting my head against the door, my hand on the knob, I inhale deeply and open my bedroom door.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m hoping to expect.
My wife isn’t acting anything like I expected.
Both Pope and Ricky dead within a matter of a few short days.
Both my wife’s family. I expected to lose her to her grief.
I expected a shit load of tears, sadness mixed with anger.
That’s what I’m used to when we lose someone in the club.
The sadness is there, for sure, but she’s working through it and I’m guessing it’s for the sake of our son.
The only time I’ve seen her break down in sobs of tears was on the way back to the city after the funerals. She read a letter from Pope and that was it. Her grief assaulted her and wouldn’t let go for the rest of that night. She woke the next morning and carried on, not letting herself break again.
I find her lying on the bed watching River sleep. I shrug out of my cut and slip out of my boots. I climb on the bed and lie behind her, pulling her against me without disturbing River.
“What are you thinking?” I ask her.
“It hit me today that River’s never going to know my dad. He’ll never call him grandpa. I know he still has your dad, and he’ll have one grandpa, but…”
“I get it, babe. As much as you’ll tell River about him, about Pope, it won’t be the same.”
It’s been a while since the funerals and while she’s getting on with life, it’s not the same and hasn’t been since I got the call about Ricky being shot dead in Harlow.
Myles and Emma’s wedding helped take her mind off the grief for a few hours and it was like I had my Tor back.
But then the shadow of the events in Harlow returned.
I wasn’t there and can’t speak for their actions, but I know as well as anyone in the club, a brother will face death with their chin held high for their son.
Ricky was unlucky being hit but he died for his son.
When I think about being in the same situation with River, my decision wouldn’t be any different.
And if it were my brother that was taken, I would’ve made the same call as Mason.
I wouldn’t have been able to listen to orders when his life was hanging on the line.
“I spoke to my mom last night, she’s focusing on Emma and Aspen. Both pregnant with twins. She’s got plenty to keep her occupied.”
I snort. “Rather them than us. They’re fucked.”
Usually Tor would laugh, but not today. “It’s nice. Loads of cousins for River.”
“Babe, I didn’t…”
“I know.” She sighs and gently rolls around to face me. “I feel… so lost yet not. I don’t know how to come to terms with it all,” she admits.
“You don’t need to deal. You don’t need to understand it.”
“The only thing I know for sure is that it hurts so much.”
Sliding my hand around the back of her head, I pull her to me and press my lips to her forehead.
“If I could I’d take every bit of pain from you. I want to so bad.”
She doesn’t say a word. She latches onto my hoodie and knots the fabric in her fists. She’s been doing this over the last couple of weeks.
“We can’t ever let River know this pain. We just can’t.”
“We’ve got the city now. The risk, it’s not as high anymore. We’ll be fine. River will be okay.”
She rolls her eyes. “Effie’s not dead yet. Every minute she’s still alive is a minute she could get away.”
Running the back of my knuckles across her cheek, I smirk. “She ain’t goin’ anywhere, babe. Even if she could move, she’s trapped.”
With Pope and Ricky’s deaths, it’s given Effie longer on this earth.
I accepted the longer I take my time with her, the better her end will be.
She can rot away, facing the same four walls, with no one for company for months or years, for all I care.
It’s torture without having to lay a finger on her.
She’ll eventually die, but I no longer feel the urgency to end her.
I haven’t been to see her since the night she was brought here.
The prospect is the only one who’s been in and out of her room, taking her scraps of food and enough water to stay hydrated.
“I don’t like her here. It’s our home…”
“Babe, forget she’s here. She won’t touch you. She’s nothing.”
“I’m not worried about that. She’s a loose end and she killed our friend. I don’t understand why you’re keeping her around.”
The brothers don’t understand why either.
“I’ve got half the brothers not wanting to hurt her cause she’s a woman.
If I had my way, I’d treat her as if she were a guy.
But I’m the president, I have to keep the balance between loyalty and fear on point.
If I did to her what I truly want to do, I’d lose that loyalty.
I know I would over time. My dad always made it clear that a decision like this has to be made unanimously.
For once in my life, apart from you and our son, I’m happy doing what I’m doing.
Being in the city feels right. The brothers are right for me.
It’s not just me, I have to take on their input… every now and then.”
She smiles but it disappears fast. “I trust you, you know I do. I just don’t want blood spilled in our home.”
Before her father and grandfather died, I was going to approach the subject of us maybe finding a home away from the clubhouse.
I put it off for a couple of reasons. First being, I can only relax knowing Tor is under the same roof as me at all times.
And secondly, I wasn’t sure if it would be something she’d want for us.
It's what you do, though, get married, have a kid, buy a house. Neither of us have ever been ones to follow the norm, but the idea kept popping up.
It’s now or never.
“Do you wanna get our own place, away from here? We have enough cash to put down a heavy deposit. You could start looking, it’d give you something to do.”
She sits up, frowning down at me.
“Is that what you want for us?” she asks.
My answer doesn’t come fast enough for her.
She shuffles herself to the end of the bed and climbs off.
Pacing the length of our room, she looks to me, opens her mouth to say something then chooses different.
I watch her pace, enjoying that her fire is returning.
I sit up and glance down to see River still sleeping soundly.
“It was just an idea I’ve been mulling over,” I tell her.
“For how long?”
“Since River was born. It’s something we’d have to eventually think about.
Are we gonna let him grow up in a clubhouse his entire childhood.
It’s quiet around here at the moment, but you know the shit that goes down in a place like this.
I can’t force the guys to act like angels cause our kid might walk in on them. ”
“We grew up in the club. We’re fine,” she argues, keeping her voice down.
“And our son would be too, I’m just saying that it’d be something we’d have to live with if we came to regret it.”
She stops pacing and glares at me. It doesn’t have the desired effect and hits me in the balls.
She got the all-clear from the doctor last week, yet we still haven’t been together.
It’s killing me but I’m waiting for her to come to me so I know she’s fully ready.
What she went through giving birth to our son, there’s not one part of me that would ever put pressure on her.
Her chest deflates with a long sigh. “I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind once or twice.
But it doesn’t feel right. We both want the best for River, and I think us being with you here is what’s best. I don’t want to be away from you, and I don’t want River not seeing you as much ‘cause we live across town.”
A slow smile creeps along my mouth. I slide off the bed and stand before her.
“I don’t want that either.”
She slaps my chest. “Why the fuck would you bring it up then?”
Instead of answering, I press my lips to hers and trap the useless fight in a kiss.
Holding the back of her neck, I keep her locked against me as I walk her backwards.
Trapping her between me and the wall, she winds one leg around my waist and as I’m about to grab her other leg, there’s a knock at the door.
Breaking the kiss, I rest my forehead against hers. “Un-fuckin’-believable.”
Her laugh is soft but regretful. “I’ve missed you.”
I’ve been stuck to her side like glue, but I know what she means.
“Fuckin’ guarantee I’ve missed you more.”
“We’ll pick this up later.”
“Don’t fuckin’ doubt it,” I warn, releasing her.
I adjust myself and walk toward the door. Before I open it, she says, “No more talk of finding a house. We’ll do life on our own terms. You, me, and River.”
I grin. “I hear ya.”
The prospect is still stood, waiting, out in the hall.
“She’s refusing to drink.”
“Since when?” I ask closing the door behind me.
While I listen to the prospect tell me how it’s been twelve hours since she’s taken in any water, I’m thinking of how we can live here as River grows older as we head down the stairs.
The prospect hands me the key to Effie’s room on the floor below mine. She’s sat in the corner with her knees drawn up to her chest. She watches my every move as I move to stand over her.
“Is there a problem with my hospitality?”
Her gaze pins mine but I feel no intimidation coming from her.
“I thought you had balls, yet here I am, still alive.”
“So you plan on taking yourself out?” I crouch down and meet her eye to eye. “It’s not gonna happen. I haven’t ended you yet, cause I’ve had shit to do. You are not the most important part of my day. To be honest, I forget you’re here most of the time.”
A flicker of fear makes me grin. “If I held a vote, the level of violence I’d want to inflict on you would be shot down, so I’m going for the next painful thing.
Slowly starving and withering away. You’ll get just enough a day to drag it out.
Then, and only then, will I let you go. When I know you’ve suffered a hundred times worse than Ford. ”
“I wanna make a deal!”
“Tut-tut. We’re long past making any deals, I’m afraid.”
I hold my hand out toward the prospect. “Pass me the bottle of water.”
The room temperature bottle hits my palm and I unscrew the cap. With my free hand, I grip onto her chin roughly and force my thumb into her mouth.
“Bite me and I’ll only enjoy it, though I promise you won’t like the repercussions. Keep your mouth open.”
It goes against every one of her instincts, but she keeps her mouth open, and I tip the bottle to her lips. The urge to ram the whole thing down her throat overwhelms me, not that I let it show.
I pour enough to keep her going and then pass the bottle back to the prospect.
“Make me do this again and I’ll fuckin’ water board ya.”
“I don’t think you’re going to do anything,” she retorts.
Now, she shouldn’t have gone and said that.
To prove her wrong, I slide my blade out from my ankle holster.
Before she can try to hide herself, I’m on her and have her arm locked in my hold.
I ignore the prospect watching on with wide eyes.
I do as I wanted in the first place. Instead of a thousand cuts, I complete eight.
Carving Ford’s name on her arm. It’s not much but enough for her to see it every time the air bites into the open wound.
Her screams grow louder the less I concentrate and once I’m done, her whimpers fill the room.
Pointing the knife at her, I grunt, “Don’t. Fuckin’. Doubt. Me.”
Tears stream down her face as she stares at her bloodied arm.
“I do not give a single fuck about you. I am blinded to you as my enemy. It will never change. You’re fucked and you’re going to die, slowly and fuckin’ painfully.”
She wipes the snot running from her nose and then cradles her wounded arm to her chest.
“I have something that will change your mind.”
Staring at her, I say, “I’m done here. You have nothing and we both know it.”
I go to leave when she calls out desperately, “You should look through my phone!” I don’t turn around and force myself to leave. The prospect locks up and is hot on my tail as I head down to the bar.
“If she tries that again, you know what to do.” Getting in his face so he understands me clearly, I add, “She is nothing. She isn’t your friend or someone who will be around in the future. She’s here to die, but when we say. You got that?”
He nods. “Yes, Prez.”
In the bar, Angel looks from me to the blade in my hand. I run it under the water behind the bar before joining him where he sits with King.
“Where’s her phone?” I ask.
“Behind the bar. It needs her fingerprint to get into it,” Angel tells me.
Over my shoulder, I call out, “Prospect, take Effie’s phone up to her and get her fingerprint to unlock it.”
A beer appears in front of me, and I look up to see Maxwell joining us.
“Do I need to ask who’s blood was on your knife?” Angel asks.
“She doubted me, so I carved Ford’s name on her arm.” I shrug.
I watch my brothers for their reactions but no one gives anything away as to how they feel about it.
A scream pierces the air and King and Maxwell are on their feet.
Though I’d like to know what the fuck is going on, I order, “Sit.”
The scream fills every inch of the bar and then silence. I’m not waiting long till the prospect is jogging down the stairs.
I arch my brow. “Why the fuck was she screaming?”
He thrusts the phone at me along with… “Is that her fuckin’ finger?” Angel demands to know.
“She refused to give me her finger.”
“So you cut it off?” Maxwell asks.
The prospect shrugs. “Yeah. She’s only lost a digit, cause of her, Ford lost his life.”
No one argues with him and I grin, taking the finger from him.
I unlock her phone and go straight to settings. I turn off her phone lock. It’s not like the finger’s going to be much use soon when it starts rotting.
I pass the finger back to the prospect and instruct, “Fuckin’ burn it. Leave no evidence.”
I scroll through her phone and flick through the gallery. She’s not much a selfie taker but there a few of my clubhouse and one of each of us in various locations.
“Rude’s not back for another hour, I’m gonna go make sure she doesn’t bleed out,” Angel says, and I barely look up in acknowledgment.
There’s nothing of interest in her photos.
None of the eight contacts give me anything.
Her texts are pointless. Her call log is useless to me.
I go into her cloud and Ford’s name gets my full attention.
I click on the file and live footage fills the screen.
What the fuck is this? I lean in closer for a better look.
Ford is lying on a mattress in what looks like an empty room.