Chapter 14 Ford
Ford
It didn’t take long for Phoebe to pass out when she realised I wasn’t up for talking.
She refused to leave until I talk. I have to work out how long I’m going to let this go on for.
Since I’ve been back, I haven’t been able to stay in this room for longer than a few hours, and that’s only because I sleep through most of it.
I can’t bring myself to tear my eyes away from her and leave.
I don’t want to leave. We have so much history, I was a fool to think I had a future without her.
I have needed her before I even knew I would come to need her.
“Who’s the new girl?” I hear as I scoff down my lunch.
I don’t see who says it, but I still find myself looking around the cafeteria and don’t see anyone new.
It takes a few moments but then I see who the table one over from mine is asking about.
It’s not a new girl, it’s Phoebe.
The baggy jeans and loose sweaters she usually wears have been replaced with a tight tee, a slither of her of tanned stomach showing, and a skirt that leaves nothing to the imagination.
I shoot up from my stool and cross the cafeteria, whipping my hoodie off as I storm toward her.
By the time I’m in front of her, I wrap my hoodie around her waist, making sure she’s covered. She swats at me but thanks to my growth spurt over the summer, I don’t budge.
“Stop it, Ford!”
“Stop? What the fuck are you playing at wearing shit like this to school?”
“What are you talking about? It’s just a skirt!”
Grabbing her by the arm, I drag her out of the cafeteria and toward my locker. I keep one hand on her while I rifle through my sports bag and pull out my sweats and t-shirt.
“I’m not going to wear your kit, Ford. Stop this!”
I can barely look at her. My life was hard enough being around her, wanting to kiss her, have my hands all over her perfect skin. My imagination was tortuous. But having her walking around mostly naked for all these pricks at school to leer at, I’m not having it.
She slaps at me, but I don’t stop. Not until she’s covered. She looks ridiculous in the oversized sweats but at least those luscious legs aren’t on show on longer.
Pushing her against the lockers, I trap her between my arms and ask, “Why the new look?”
She drops her eyes, and I tilt her chin up so her gaze is on me again. Her sparkling green eyes are a distraction momentarily.
“I’m in high school. I should be experiencing things that happen in high school.”
“Dressing like a whore is on your checklist?”
Those green eyes steel over. “Fuck you, Ford.”
I take in how her hair is different. She has lovely curls but today it’s been ironed smooth or something. Her eyes are caked in makeup.
“I don’t like it,” I choke out.
“Yeah, well, you’ve made it clear you don’t like me.”
Frowning, I manage to mumble, “Huh? What are you talking about?”
“I thought I’ve made it real clear that I like you, and sometimes I think you like me too, but then you never say anything, you never try to kiss me…”
I slam my mouth onto hers and pour all of the months I’ve been dreaming of this moment, and kiss her. I push against her and ignore the other students. Everything disappears apart from the regret of not doing this sooner.
A throat clears and we pull apart, but I don’t let her go far.
“There’s a time and place for such affection, at school is not one of them,” Mrs. Jeffries tells us before moving on.
Turning my attention back to Phoebe, I tell her, “We’re doing this now, so no more dressing in those skirts.”
She wanted my attention, now she has it and thank fuck cause it’s about fucking time.
I spent eleven years being her neighbour.
I spent two summers hiding that I loved her.
But one lunch and the tiniest skirt in history changed everything.
No one else mattered. I didn’t care that we were finishing high school, or that everyone was telling us we’d most likely grow apart as we went on new adventures into adulthood.
We were going to survive because we loved one another, and we were strong.
I wanted nothing more than to grow old with her, I wanted to spend every milestone with her.
I would’ve spent my whole life dedicated to her.
“Ford, son, I know you love her. I won’t patronize you on that front. But you have to see that she’s never going to go off to college unless you tell her to.”
“I have told her,” I tell Mr. McAdams.
I’ve always gotten on well with Phoebe’s dad.
He’s the one who taught me how to shave correctly, how to wear a tie, and he was the one who took me out and taught me to drive.
At times he’s been the father mine never was.
I have so much respect for him I get what he’s trying to say before he lets the words slip off his tongue.
“We both know what it’s going to take, son. She’s not only bright and can go on to do so much in her life, she needs the life experience what college can offer.”
My first thought questions if he wants her to meet other guys. Does he not think I’m not good enough for his daughter anymore? I grow hot at the thought of anyone but me kissing and touching Phoebe, it makes me want to kill.
“I’ll make her see sense and get her to college.”
“Son, we both know that even if she agrees to go, she’ll be there physically but mentally she’ll be right here with you.”
“You want me to break up with her?” I manage to choke out.
“I won’t beat around the bush. I want exactly that. I want you to set her free.”
I don’t hesitate to tell him, “I can’t do that.”
Just the thought has me burning with rage.
“Ford, let me ask you this. What are your plans after graduation?”
College isn’t for me. I haven’t even bothered applying to any.
“I’m going to get a job.”
“And while you’re working a job, one that probably isn’t going to pay much without a college degree, what do you expect Phoebe to be doing?”
I shrug. “I don’t know yet. We haven’t spoken about it.”
“Life is going to change now you’re both eighteen.
In one way school prepares you for the workplace when you come of age, but in other ways, no one is prepared for the transition from childhood to adulthood.
I hope you trust me enough to believe what I’m saying.
Phoebe has a chance to better herself, and as her father, I don’t want anything standing in her way.
If you love her like I think you do, like you profess, you wouldn’t want that either. ”
When I think back to that night, I can’t believe I let his words get to me. What would life have been like over the last few years if I had stuck to my guns and kept her with me like I wanted?
Stroking her hair away from her face, I lean down and press my lips to her warm, soft cheek ever so gently, and whisper, “I’m not letting you go again.”
Her father can hate me, fuck, she can hate me, but I’m going to do now what I should have done back then.
Luca has it all. He has Tor, his son, and the patch.
I can have it all too.
It doesn’t take me long to find out what Luca wants to know about the property out back.
It belongs to a Mr. Chadwick. It used to be a sneaker factory, and it shut down in the mid 90’s.
It’s been up for sale a few times, but no one’s obviously bought it.
Chadwick still lives in the city and is eighty-seven years old.
I scribble down the address as the chair next to mine scrapes against the floor.
“Are you ready to talk?”
I power down the laptop and shove it aside. “What exactly do you want to know?”
Her cheeks redden with anger and knowing her as well as I do, I can see her patience is wearing thin.
Before she can say a word, I pull her chair closer to mine and lean in close. Wisps of her hair tickling the side of my face.
“I’m not going to make the same mistake with you. You belong to me, always have, always will. I’ll make it right with you…”
“You have got to be kidding me,” she laughs. “We’re not talking about this again. I just want to know what the fuck happened last night and then I’m gone. I’m already late for today’s classes.”
“We’re going to talk about it till you agree to be my mine again.”
She sighs heavily and pushes up from her chair.
“I don’t want to be with someone I don’t recognise anymore. I’m sorry I ever fell in love with you.”
“Say it enough times and I might one day fuckin’ believe you,” I bellow.
“I do, I fucking hate you and I’m sorry I ever fell in love with you.”
The words cut so deep the stinging pain covers every inch of my body.
“I still don’t believe you.”
She screams in frustration and shoves at me.
“You always do that. I hate it. I hate you.”
She goes to shove me again, but I clasp her wrists in my grip and pull her toward me.
“You fuckin’ love me, you always will and that’s what you’re hating right now.”
“I really don’t, Ford.”
“No? Why are you needlessly jealous then? Huh? Tell me that.”
“I’m not jealous. If you want to flirt with some skank, then go right ahead. But I’m not going to stick around and watch.”
I sigh. “I didn’t fuckin’ flirt with her. I smiled because she said hello… to the both of us.”
I see the moment she relents. Her shoulders sag and she slumps her ass down onto the curb.
“What’s really going on, babe? You don’t do crazy, it’s not who you are, what gives?”
I sit beside her and wrap my arm around her.
“Something’s changing between us. I can’t place when it started or why, but something’s between us and I feel like I’m losing you and I can’t bear it.”
“I promise you, I’m going nowhere. I’m right here. And there’s no one but you that I love.”
I lean in to kiss her but she pulls away. “There’s something you’re not telling me. Please, just talk to me.”
“I can’t tell you something that isn’t there. Do you want me to lie just so you can hear what it is what you want to hear.”
How can I tell her that I need her to hate me. That in order for her to believe it’s best to break up, I need her to hate me like she’s never hated anyone before.
“You’re not sorry you ever loved me, you’re sorry you still love me.”
She pushes up from her chair and whacks her purse strap over her shoulder.
“You’re a special kind of asshole. I’m done.”
She storms toward the door, and I call out, “I’ll see you tonight, babe.”
She doesn’t grace me with a reply, and I smirk.
Yeah, I’ll be seeing her soon.