19. ADELE
19
ADELE
I stared at the river, the swirling water below claiming my attention briefly, before the thoughts returned, dominating my mind. The breeze that ruffled my hair was chilly, and I hugged my coat tighter around me.
The sun cast a warm glow over the city, but the shadows lingering beneath the surface seemed to mirror the darkness cloaking my heart.
Elena was pregnant with Ted’s baby.
I wasn’t just upset; I was jealous and hurt. It felt like someone had shredded my soul and scattered it onto a blazing fire, never to be returned. More tears fell, but this time I didn’t wipe them away. I allowed them to trail miserably down my cheeks, falling from the bridge to the river beneath, rejoicing at being one with the wild water.
If only life were so simple.
The rollercoaster of emotions I’d been on with Ted felt like some kind of sick joke, the universe ever throwing curveballs our way that blindsided us so much, we forgot who we were and what we wanted. I wanted Ted, and I knew he wanted me too. We’d always been in love. Now Elena was pregnant by the man I loved, and there was nothing I could do but hope he still left her.
That may make me sound bitter, but I didn’t care. I was sick of not thinking of myself first.
The ache in my chest was dull at first, my body used to the feeling of hope being squashed. But as time went on, and I heard nothing from Ted, I knew Elena had told him. Yesterday had been like a gift, an apology from the fates that we’d been apart for so long.
Here, the fates said, have today together . Hell, have tonight too . Because tomorrow, we have some news for you.
I’d told myself over and over that my reaction was absurd; but was it? All I wanted was Ted, nothing else. I wouldn’t even be so greedy as to wish for a baby or another pet. I just wanted him, and now Elena had him, in ways I didn’t. The swirling water below claimed more of my tears, but I barely blinked.
I just wanted to be happy. Was that too much to ask? The question lingered in the air, ungraspable yet heavy, much like the dark clouds that loomed above, threatening to unleash an equally turbulent storm, both in nature and in my heart. I turned away from the river, the relentless flow mirroring the way my life seemed to spiral endlessly without any direction. The noise of the city buzzed faintly in the background, a contrast to the turmoil raging inside me.
As I walked along the bridge, my steps grew heavier with each thought, each memory of laughter shared and secrets whispered between Ted and me. He’d promised me adventures, countless spontaneous moments that would fill our lives with laughter, as if we were bound by some unbreakable pact. But now, every promise felt like shattered glass, jagged and dangerous.
Why her? I screamed in silence, the question echoing in my mind, demanding answers that would never come. The image of Elena’s face, illuminated by the glow of another world, invaded my thoughts. Her smiles felt invasive now, taunting me in the quiet hours of the night when the weight of my solitude felt heaviest. I mean, sure, she’s beautiful and rich, but he wasn’t happy. He’d told me that himself.
I paused, the wind whipping about me as if urging me to make a decision. Would I continue to linger in this place of longing, or would I summon the courage to reclaim the rights of my life? A flicker of defiance stirred deep within me. I would not be an insignificant pawn in the story of Ted and Elena.
The gusts of wind seemed to whisper encouragement, drowning out the voice of despair that threatened to keep me bound here, paralysed by grief and anger. I took a deep breath, the scent of damp earth mingling with the sharpness of the river. If the universe was going to deal me these cards, then it was high time I learned to play my hand.
Turning my gaze toward the horizon, where the sun dipped low and bled fiery shades of orange and pink into the sky, I realised if fate had thrown me into this mess, perhaps it was also capable of offering me something worthwhile.
With my heart still heavy but my resolve strengthening, I took one last lingering glance at the river’s surface, now mirrored with late afternoon colours, before stepping away from the edge. I’d lost Ted once, I didn’t want to lose him again.
The night was approaching, cloaking the world in its sprawling velvet embrace, and I felt a renewed sense of purpose blossom within me, like a flower forcing its way through cracked pavement. The streets buzzed with life, people bustling about, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing in my heart. I wanted to be one of them, lost in laughter, the taste of freedom tinged with anticipation.
Then my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Baby, it’s me.” Ted’s voice broke me from my anxious spiral, warm and familiar yet laced with uncertainty.
“Ted...” I said, emotion choking my voice.
It was time to find out what my future looked like.