Chapter 5 #3
I try to breathe through it because I know she’s on heavy pain medication. Unfortunately, I’m not feeling any of the benefits of it. All I feel is pain.
“Nova!”
“What?” I gasp, turning to see that Caleb is glaring at me. I didn’t even realize that he’d come inside the room. “Do you need something?”
His eyes are blown with panic and he’s rubbing his chest like it hurts.
“Are you having a heart attack?” I ask, pointing at his hand. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“You’re what’s wrong,” he says angrily. “If you’re in pain, why won’t you say anything? Are you somehow hurt?”
“Me? No, I’m fine. I just figured out that I feel some of the pain that Hollis does,” I say, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Maybe I deserve this. I sometimes get her migraines too. I couldn’t figure out why I started getting them when I moved to Minneapolis.
I think it’s the proximity to her. I can’t believe she gets them so often.
She’s like a superhero. Maybe I should get her a cape…
You know, since our birthday is apparently tomorrow. ”
Caleb continues to stare at me, stricken before shaking his head and picking me out of the chair.
“How much distance do you need from Hollis before you stop hurting?” he asks gruffly.
I shouldn’t continue to feel rejected by Caleb, but I do. Blinking rapidly, I shrug.
“Chicago might do it,” I rasp. “Should I just move there?”
“Don’t be a brat,” he says. “Do you realize that you’re fucking shaking with pain right now, Nova?”
“I was trying to ignore it,” I say softly.
I feel like a burden to everyone. I shouldn’t, but I do.
“If I go home, it should lessen,” I lie. “I’ll grab a cab home.”
My gate fob is in my bag on the floor, and I’ll figure out a way to keep Caleb from feeling my pain. Hollis needs him to stand guard, not feel my stupid phantom pains.
There’s nothing wrong with me for fuck’s sake.
I need to go as far away as needed until Caleb won’t feel my pain anymore. I’m not even sure if distance will change my connection with Hollis. I guess there’s only one way to find out.
“I hope you’re not lying to me,” he grunts. “Lars is in just as much pain. I don’t understand this at all.”
“Put me down,” I say, reminding him that he’s still holding me. “I’ll get out of the way.”
“Nova. I’m worried about you. Could you just stop for a second?” he asks.
“No. Want to know why? You have a job to do, and that’s to keep my sister safe. I’m a distraction right now. It’s up to me to remove myself from the situation,” I say. “Down, now.”
“I’m not a dog,” he grumbles, placing me on my feet.
“Good boy,” I say absently, grabbing my bag.
Looking over at my sister, I sigh. She’s still too pale.
I wish things were different. Maybe I’ll be back.
I still have clients to tend to, I’ll just drive until I can text Caleb and ask him if it still hurts. I care less about my pain and more about him. Funny how this scent match thing works.
Walking away from Caleb, I walk through the door to find Lars leaning against the wall with his face scrunched up with pain.
“I’ll fix it,” I whisper, leaving him behind to exit the ER ward.
I ignore Lars when he calls my name, simply walking faster. My body keeps wanting to lock up, and my right hip really hurts.
“Nova?” Malcolm asks as I walk through the waiting room, finally remembering to pull out my phone.
“I’m good,” I say with a tight smile. I don’t want anyone else to find out that I’m feeling Hollis’ residual pain. “I’m just going to take a cab home real quick. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll give you a ride,” Malcolm says immediately, standing. There’s a pinched, worried look on his face.
I really don’t want to be near my sister’s pack, because they know me well enough to know when I’m not doing well.
“It’s really not necessary,” I promise. “Stay here and take care of Hollis. I just need a second.”
I refuse to give him any chance of stopping me and continue out the sliding doors of the building.
Taking a deep breath, I keep walking as I go into the ride share app on my phone to call a car. I just want to get away, and I’m starting to limp a little.
A car pulls up next to me, the windows all blacked out. My breaths begin to fall faster until the window rolls down and I see Evan and Cian Sullivan.
“I’m sorry we scared you,” Mr. Sullivan says, wincing as he sees my hand on my chest. “Where are you going? I’ll never tell you what to do, but walking out unprotected isn’t a good idea.”
My lip wobbles as I nod, and I force myself to steel my spine. No more crying, I’ve already made my decision to leave.
“I’m going home. I’m calling a ride share now,” I explain.
“Absolutely not,” Evan growls. “I’d much rather drive you.”
“Could you drive me and not ask any questions?” I ask. “I’m having a really weird day.”
“I can be quiet,” Mr. Sullivan says with a small chuckle. “I’d rather we get you home safely than take a ride share.”
“Okay,” I say, blowing out a breath. “That’ll work then.”
“That bad of a day?” Evan asks, brow raised.
“Shh,” Mr. Sullivan says. “No questions.”
“That’s what I want to hear,” I murmur, opening the door.
Mr. Sullivan leans back onto his side of the backseat, allowing me to get into the vehicle. Closing the door, I drop my head back with a small sigh. I can feel Mr. Sulivan’s gaze on me, but I turn my head to look out the window.
I don’t know if taking pain medication will help me with this phantom pain, but it does make sense as that it wouldn’t. I’ll just grit my teeth and deal. If Hollis feels like this, then I will as well.
I force myself to breathe evenly, and open my eyes to find that we’re almost to my tiny house on Pack Ledger’s property. I need to check on Pixie, feed her, and pack her along with our things into the van.
I was just getting comfortable here, and now it’s time to go. It’s kind of depressing.
“Nova?” Mr. Sullivan asks as we approach the gate and I pull out my fob to open it.
“Yes?” I ask, pushing the button for the gate.
“I can’t help but scent how sad you are,” he sighs. “Are you sure that I can’t do anything for you?”
Biting my lip as I open the vehicle door, I sigh. “Tell everyone I’m sorry,” I rasp. “I have to go for a little while.”
“Go?” Evan asks, twisting around. “Why?”
“Because I’m fucking everything up by being here,” I say, getting out of the car.
I don’t wait as I walk, making sure to hit the button on the gate to close it behind me so they can’t follow. This is for the best, even if no one else understands.